“Izzy, is that you? I was over at the bar, and I saw you, and oh…Did I interrupt something?”
Izzy looked past Anaya and was surprised to see Jane standing at the end of the table. Her messenger bag hung from her shoulder, as if she’d just come from work. Why was she here? Part of her was happy to see her; she just wished it was under different circumstances, and she didn’t have a drunk woman pressing her up against the wall.
“Jane!” she said with genuine surprise. God, had she ever been so relieved to see someone. “No, no, we’re just having dinner. This is…my friend, Anaya.”
Jane held her hand out to Anaya, who was forced to slide away from Izzy to shake it. “Nice to meet you. Anaya? What a beautiful name.”
Seeing them together, Izzy noticed Anaya and Jane looked nothing alike. Anaya had nothing on Jane.
Anaya looked at Izzy and then back to Jane. “Thank you. Nice to meet you, too.”
Izzy looked past Jane for Hector. She couldn’t ask Jane to join them. She didn’t even want to. She was, however, grateful for the interruption. Jane’s presence eased the tightness in her chest. She could finally breathe again. How much longer would it take Hector to get there?
Jane repositioned the strap of her bag, and her face fell. “I was supposed to meet Hector here to get some personal advice, but he just called and said he couldn’t make it.”
Was Jane here to talk about her problems with Hector? A pang of jealousy shot through her. She wished Jane would confide in her instead.
“I hope Hector had a good excuse to stand you up,” she said.
Anaya leaned across the table to get her glass.
Jane gave Izzy a meaningful look over Anaya’s head. “I think he had a previous commitment with Audie.”
Oh! Oh! Oh! Now she understood! Jane was here instead of Hector. She opened her mouth and closed it, unsure what to say.
Jane continued. “I needed someone to talk to, and you were on a date, so I asked him. I had no idea you were coming here. This is awkward.”
Izzy was confused at first and then realized Jane was concocting a plausible excuse for her to be here. Good. It could work, if only she could get rid of the buzzing in her head to think more clearly.
“Is everything okay?” She hoped Jane would have a good excuse to get her out of here. It had to be a good one, or Izzy would look like a real shmuck. Anaya, drunk or not, was pretty sharp.
At that moment, Anaya turned to Izzy with a questioning look, and Izzy knew what it meant. Anaya wanted to continue their date—in private. Izzy searched for something to say.
Jane sagged as if she were suffering a great amount of heartache. “It’s Bruce. It’s always Bruce.” Her voice cracked just a little at the end.
“Ah, yeah. Bruce is a huge problem.” Izzy played along, shaking her head as if she knew exactly what Jane was talking about.
Anaya looked between Jane and Izzy. “Who’s Bruce?”
“My husband.”
Izzy almost choked. She took a sip of her water and tried to compose a serious face.
Jane lowered her shoulder, and the strap from her bag slid off so she could put it on the floor in front of her. “He and I have been having problems, and it’s gotten pretty bad. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Jane looked as if she were about to cry. She lifted her bag again and pulled the strap over her shoulder. “Oh, jeez. Listen to me. I shouldn’t be bothering you while you’re on a date, Iz. I take up too much of your time with this as it is.”
Izzy was impressed. Jane really looked upset.
Anaya put a hand on Jane’s arm. “Are you okay?”
Izzy was touched because Anaya looked genuinely concerned. She almost wished it wasn’t all a lie.
“It’s just so embarrassing. He’s been cheating on me.” Jane slid into the other side of the booth.
Anaya leaned forward, listening.
Jane held Anaya’s gaze and gestured at Izzy. “Izzy—my best friend, the sister I never had—has been listening to me with all my doubts, but I finally got proof.”
Anaya took Jane’s hand. “How’d you do that?”
Jane’s face collapsed, and she dropped her head into her hands. “I walked in on them tonight!”
Anaya’s eyes grew wide. “Another woman?”
Jane shook her head. “Worse!”
Anaya looked skeptical. “Worse?”
“My brother Wyatt!”
Izzy knew it was a made-up story, but even she gasped.
“Oh, no!” she and Anaya said together.
“Oh, yes. And with the baby only a week old…”
Anaya squeezed Jane’s hand. “Wait. You just had a baby? I never would have guessed.”
“Little Lester—he’s named after my great-grandfather—was premature, and I bounce back quickly.” She rubbed her belly. “At least I did with the first six babies. I have a few pounds left to go.”
Izzy chewed her lips to keep from laughing. She was glad Anaya was sitting beside her and not across from her.
Anaya looked incredulous. “You have seven kids?”
A sob tore through Jane. “Four girls and three boys. God, I don’t know what I’m going to do!”
The performance Jane was putting on was a masterpiece. Izzy almost forgot it wasn’t real.
Anaya patted Jane’s hands. She had hold of both of them now. “Where are the baby and the other kids now?”
“With my mom. We live with her, ever since Bruce lost his job last year.” Jane looked at Izzy with frantic eyes. “She doesn’t know about Bruce and Wyatt. She’d kill him. I can’t go home.”
Izzy sat forward. “You can’t!” She hoped she sounded a fraction as convincing as Jane.
“What are you going to do?” Anaya asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t have anywhere to go.” Jane pulled away from Anaya and slumped back into the booth, covering her face with her hands.
Izzy pounded the table. Too much? Anaya didn’t seem to notice, and Jane still had her hands over her face. “You have to stay with me. We’ll figure out what to do.”
Jane dropped her hands. Tears streamed from her eyes. “Oh, no. You’re busy. The kids and I couldn’t impose.” Jane stood to leave.
“Where else will you go?” Izzy motioned for Anaya to move so she could get to her friend. They both slid out of the booth.
Jane turned to leave. “I’ll figure it out. You’ve done so much for me.”
Izzy grabbed the strap of Jane’s bag to stop her from leaving. People at the closest tables were looking now. Because it wasn’t real, Izzy didn’t mind like she normally would. “I insist.”
Jane stopped and turned. “Are you sure? I don’t want to ruin your date.”
Anaya rested a hand on Jane’s shoulder. “You can’t be alone tonight.” She was buying it—hook, line, and sinker.
Anaya convinced Jane to sit back down while Izzy paid the bill. They walked out of the restaurant while Anaya called a car service.
Anaya’s driver must have been just around the corner because the car arrived within a minute of them leaving.
Anaya opened the car door and took Jane’s hands in hers. “Things will get better.”
Izzy was almost free and clear, and the ball of dread in her stomach was starting to dissolve. “Thanks for din—” But a passionate kiss cut off her words.
Anaya eventually drew back and caressed her check. “You’re a great friend. I’m not surprised. Take care of her tonight. We can pick up where we left off soon, okay?”
And with that, she climbed into the car and was gone.
Izzy stood there clutching her stomach with one hand, watching as the car turned onto the boulevard and merged into traffic. She felt almost faint with relief.
“She’s really into you.”
Izzy turned to Jane and blew out a long breath.
“How did you…I mean…why did you…” She was standing on the sidewalk, alone with Jane, and couldn’t seem to get her thoughts to flow properly. The
buzzing in her head had stopped, and now she just felt weak.
Jane, on the other hand, looked full of energy. “That was fun. I haven’t done improv since my high school drama days. I think Ms. Navotny would have given me an A for tonight’s performance.”
Izzy still wasn’t sure what to feel at the moment. Relief, confusion, guilt—a swarm of emotions churned within her. It was great to see Jane upbeat for a change, especially since she’d been so preoccupied the last several days. Izzy smiled. “You were brilliant! How did you get roped into this?”
“When Audie called Hector, I was just leaving work with him and a couple of others after working on a regression. He had to meet his girlfriend somewhere, but he asked if I could save you from the clutches of some wild woman. My train goes right past here, so here I am.”
“I owe you big-time.”
Jane scowled. “It looked like I showed up just in time. I think she was about to try to undress you right there in the booth.”
“You should have been in the bathroom earlier. I really thought she was going to…” Izzy shivered. She’d never been scared of a woman before. “I can’t even think about it. Just thank you so much for rescuing me.”
“Glad I could help.”
Jane started walking toward the train station, and Izzy fell into step with her. “I’d offer you a ride, but I took the train, too.”
Jane patted her laptop bag. “It’s okay. I catch up on my shows on the train.”
Izzy snuck a glance at Jane. She’d really missed seeing her smile. “Thank you again. You did a great job in there. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought the whole story was true.”
Jane took a bow. “Four years of high school drama.”
“A true Academy Award performance.”
“Thanks. You weren’t too bad yourself. I could see you holding back laughter in the beginning, but you really got into it at the end.”
“You were pretty convincing. I almost believed you.”
They were quiet for a moment. And then, Jane stopped. Izzy turned around to see why. The smile was gone.
“You know what she was doing in there wasn’t okay, right?”
“She was coming on a little strong. She was really drunk. She had at least three drinks, plus most of a bottle of wine.”
“Drunk or not, she was sexually harassing you. You said no, and she wasn’t listening. It’s not okay.”
They were walking again.
“I honestly never thought a woman would ever be so…so disgusting. You know? It was scary. And disappointing.”
Jane’s pace picked up; she was nearly stomping. She’d switched from smiling to angry in a blink of an eye. “Why didn’t you tell her? You were just sitting there letting her paw all over you.”
Izzy jogged a little to keep up. “Are you mad at me?”
They’d made it to the train station and were walking up the ramp to the platform. The anger on Jane’s face fell away, and another expression Izzy didn’t know how to read replaced it.
Jane peered down the tracks. “I’m not mad at you. I just…I don’t know…I just feel a little angry how you…” Jane looked at Izzy briefly, bit her lip, and glanced down the tracks again. “Never mind.”
Izzy really wanted to know. “What? Tell me, Jane.”
Jane stared at her and looked away again. Izzy started to think she wouldn’t respond.
“It’s just, how could you be attracted to that…woman. She’s disgusting, and here I am, and you don’t see me.” Jane glanced at her and dropped her eyes. “So, I guess it’s out there now.”
Izzy moved so she stood in front of Jane, forcing her to look at her.
Jane gazed at her then. Her eyes were fierce but soft at the same time.
They faced each other on the platform, and Izzy didn’t know what to say. But a gentle breeze was blowing Jane’s hair, and she looked so beautiful.
* * *
Oh, the first kiss. Sigh. Is there ever anything better than the first kiss? Fireworks and weak knees. Butterflies and electric shocks. All the good things you’ve imagined and more. So much more. There’s no effective way to describe what a first kiss is like, except it’s beautiful and powerful, and there really is nothing like it in the world.
Chapter Seventeen
A rush of wind surrounded them, and a train pulled into the station. Another rolled up seconds later on the opposite side of the platform facing the other direction. The platform bustled around them as passengers exited and boarded the trains, but Izzy wasn’t paying attention to anything but Jane, who was staring at her with a special look in her eyes, holding Izzy captive.
The platform emptied, and the trains they should have been on left the station, moving in opposite directions, but they continued to stare at each other. Izzy was paralyzed, unsure what to do, except she knew she didn’t want to break the crystalline bubble they found themselves in. Jane stepped closer, their toes nearly touching. A buzz filled Izzy’s stomach. Jane’s eyes fell down and to the right, and warmth wrapped around her hand as Jane intertwined their fingers. Izzy studied Jane’s eyes, which were the most amazing amalgamation of different shades of brown. She’d always thought them to be so dark as to be nearly black, but the brown was warm and the colors so subtle, they seemed infinitely deep and full of mystery.
When Jane’s gaze came back up and landed on hers, Izzy was almost startled. But then her eyes dipped to scan Izzy’s mouth, and she could almost feel the warmth of Jane’s gaze sear her skin. Izzy stared at Jane’s lips. How would they feel if she were to kiss them? She couldn’t think of anything else. She traced the lines of Jane’s lips with her eyes and knew how soft they’d be, how pliant they’d be, and she felt like she was falling in a slow, gentle arc. The ground seemed so far away, and the world seemed to fade until only Jane and she existed, floating in that crystalline bubble.
When Jane’s face moved toward hers, Izzy moved forward; strands of Jane’s hair blowing in the breeze tickled her checks. Jane’s lips teased hers for a moment before their mouths found each other. She couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t need to, because everything had shrunk away until only the warmth of Jane’s lips on hers, and nothing else, filled her consciousness.
Time vanished as they kissed. Izzy couldn’t tell which of them pulled away first, but their parting was slow and gentle. They stood there panting, staring into each other’s eyes. Izzy’s hands were tangled in the hair at the base of Jane’s neck, and she stroked the soft skin beneath her fingertips. Jane’s hands cupped her jaw, and Izzy dipped her head to nestle into them.
The wind picked up as a train pulled into the station.
Jane shut her eyes and sighed. “My train.”
Another train pulled in across from it.
“And mine.” Izzy slowly removed her hands from Jane’s soft hair and stepped back.
Jane’s hands slid from Izzy’s face, and she kept one up in a sort of wave, a slight smile on her lips.
They watched each other walk to their trains and board. Izzy took a seat on hers, and through the glare on the windows of the train across from her, she watched Jane take a seat, too. Jane’s gaze upon her was not as physical as her hands, which had warmed her cheeks, but heat filled her just the same.
The doors to her train closed, and the train started to pull away. Soon the trains were rolling away from each other in opposite directions, the heat of Jane’s kiss still imprinted on Izzy’s lips.
What had just happened?
* * *
One of the most exciting times in life is falling in love.
One of the most terrifying times in life can be falling in love, too.
The euphoria of new love is a terribly powerful thing. It makes people do weird things. It reveals things about people they didn’t know existed. If a person isn’t prepared, it can cause all sorts of chaos. Remember how out-of-control high school was? Most of it was the hormones surging through everyone’s rapidly developing bodies, but oftentimes, the trigger for the
drama was the process of young people falling in love for the very first time.
New love ruined friendships, caused bad choices, interfered with getting good grades, and threw peer groups into wild disarray. It was tumultuous and exciting, and most of the time, people look back and have a good laugh—or a good cry, depending on how things turned out. But more often than not, when something blew up in high school, it had to do with love—or what we thought was love back then.
The point is, falling in love is an interesting time, and when you’re going through it, it helps to understand what’s going on so you can navigate the ensuing wild ride. At this time big decisions might come into play, and thinking things through can be tough.
Chapter Eighteen
Izzy rolled over and stretched before shutting off her alarm. She hadn’t slept much the night before, having been so keyed up by the kiss, wondering what it meant, steeped in her new knowledge of the scent of Jane’s hair, the softness of her lips, the warmth of her hands.
Having heard the alarm and knowing what came next, Gus was up and by the side of the bed, his tail thumping against the mattress as he waited for his morning scratches. As tired as she was, Izzy had to get up and take her morning run.
When things got chaotic at work or in her life, a run always seemed to help her release some of the mania. It also helped when she felt herself dipping into depression. The endorphins helped steady her. In addition to her meds and a consistent sleep schedule, running was a priority in managing her bipolar symptoms. Gus seemed to enjoy it as much as she did.
Once they were outside, she performed some cursory stretches before starting off at a trot, heading to a nearby park. She wasn’t a fast runner, but she fell into a steady and easy cadence as she took in the early morning air scented by the distant ocean and dew-enshrouded foliage lining the path. The route she chose was an even five miles, which they could complete in just under an hour, giving her plenty of time to get ready for work.
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