I stood there stunned, feeling mixed emotions that I kissed Charles and felt as if I just cheated on Matt. I didn’t even know what to say as I stood there trying to put into words something that would make sense, something that might help him understand that it’s just not there between us anymore.
He walked away, his hands clasped behind his neck and then he quickly dropped them back to his hips. My heart broke for him. For us. He’s always been there for me and I couldn’t help but feel like I was deserting him.
He was staring at the ground shaking his head. I couldn’t speak as I tried to process all my feelings, letting tears slip down my cheeks. I stood there watching him, unsure of what to say or do.
He walked back to me and stood in front of me. “I don’t want to let you go. I’ve loved you for way too long, Vanessa.”
I nodded knowing how hard it was for both of us. “I don’t want to let you go either, but I need to. This…it’s just…”
“Just stop! I…I can’t hear anymore, Vanessa!” He turned, storming back to his car. I watched him get in, slam his door while shaking his head. His car tore off, tires squealing as I watched Charles leave.
It was finally over with Charles. So why did I feel so horrible? I felt heartless. And heartbroken.
Chapter 27
Matt
We were snuggled up on the couch watching TV. Vanessa was so shaken up when she got back from brunch, I held her close to me and tried to take her mind off whatever may have happened. I tried to find out what her mom said, but she refused to tell me. It was killing me that she was so hurt. I wanted to help in some way, but I couldn’t figure out how.
She turned to me after awhile and hugged me tightly. Pulling back, she gave me a sweet look with an equally beautiful kiss. She started to stand, but I grabbed her hand wanting to hold her longer. The look in her eyes changed and I hoped she was feeling better.
She smiled and then told me she would be right back, whispering something about having a surprise for me. I relaxed a little knowing she seemed to be over whatever it was that upset her in the first place. Fine with me I thought, as I sat back realizing I haven’t watched what I wanted on TV in awhile.
“Well?” Vanessa asked as I finally tore my gaze away from catching up on sports. Holy Fuck. I got an instant hard-on as I looked Vanessa over from head to toe. She was wearing the lingerie I bought her as one of her presents for her birthday. A purple colored silk robe that went only down to her thigh. I noted she hadn’t tied the sash. A seductive smile crept over her lips as she pulled it slightly open by putting her hand on her hip. A hint of the sexiest get up peeked through that robe — A lacy bra in the same color mixed with black lace barely covering her full breasts and matching panties. Top all of that off with those sexy as fuck black garters with spiked heels and I was about to lose it just looking at her.
I leaned forward and grabbed her hand. My other hand went directly for her hip as I continued to pull her to me. She straddled me and wrapped her arms around my neck. My hands couldn’t resist gliding over her ass. She leaned down to kiss me, her hair curtained around us as our lips touched.
Holding her like this, kissing her passionately made me really appreciate what I have with her. I decided I would never let her go. I also made the decision that I would buy her more lingerie. Probably just like this one in a variety of other colors. Yeah, my mind wandered as I pulled her body closer to mine, letting my hands roam freely, squeezing anything and everything.
Fuck, I’m in love with this woman. My heart sped up every time I repeated that to myself. Kissing her, feeling her soft body against mine just increased every feeling I have for her. I wanted to tell her I love her again, but something held me back. I wanted to hear it from her. I wanted her to tell me she was feeling the same way for me. I just wasn’t sure I could wait too much longer considering I felt like I wanted to tell her so badly again. Pathetic, I know.
Her phone was laying on the coffee table and rang out a text. Vanessa pulled back slowly and scrunched up her face, but came back to me for another kiss. It rang again a second later as she seemed to think about checking it. She kissed me and then put her finger to my lips as she smiled while she reached back to grab her phone. I watched her smile drop quickly as she immediately stood up and texted something back.
“Everything okay?” I asked wondering what was going on as I noticed the concerned expression on her face. She placed a lock of hair behind her ear as she typed frantically and nodded her head. She walked over to the window and began typing again.
I couldn’t figure out what the problem was. First, she was straddled on top of me on the couch making out with me, then she gets a text and looks completely nervous. I started wondering if someone got hurt or something. She was acting so strange and I just wanted to try to fix it.
“Are you okay, baby?” I asked her as I stood up and walked towards her.
She wouldn’t give me eye contact and started holding her stomach. I thought for a moment she was going to run to the bathroom and get sick. “Actually, my stomach isn’t feeling so great,” she claimed as she held a hand to her stomach making a face to match.
Vanessa stood in front of the evening skyline in the deep purple bra, panties and garter get up that I bought her, her silk robe was open as her hand kept circling her stomach. She’s looking sexy as fuck right now and she has to have a stomach ache…I’m pretty sure my dick wasn’t understanding this situation either considering I had to keep adjusting myself. At the same time, I was feeling horrible for having those thoughts while something is clearly wrong.
“Do you want me to get you something? Some ginger ale or something? How can I help you?” I asked, knowing I needed to be caring right now instead of wanting to throw her over my shoulder and taking her into the bedroom. My brain and sex drive weren’t matching right now and it was starting to piss me off.
“Actually, I just…I’m sorry…maybe I just need to be alone. I just feel like lying down for a bit,” she suggested as she sat down on the couch and started to rest her head on the armrest of the sofa.
Holy fuck. Sick or not, she looked smoking, as if she were posing for a hot photo shoot. I realized I should do that next time, get a picture of her posing on the couch in that same lingerie. I want to ask her if she’ll wear that get up again for me, but then I felt bad because she’s lying there feeling sick and I’m fantasizing about her.
“Well, I’ll run out and get some ginger ale for you or something. I mean that’s always helped a stomach ache for me,” I told her as I bent down to feel her forehead. Maybe she’s got a stomach virus or something. I had a friend who was a nurse and she used to give me useful tips like that, you know, when we played patient and nurse.
Vanessa broke my memories by saying, “No, really, you don’t have to do that. I’ll lay down. Really, I’ll be okay,” she insisted.
Something wasn’t adding up and I knew it had to do with whatever text she just got. I tried to run down all the things her mom could have said that would upset her this bad. “Did your mom text you or something to upset you? You seem more upset than you do a stomach ache.”
Her eyes got really wide and she nodded quickly. “Yeah, my mom. You know how she makes me so upset.” She looked around nervously and started wringing her finger as if she were looking for that engagement ring to twirl.
“What did she say? Was it something about breaking off the engagement?”
Her eyes snapped up to me, completely taken off guard. “What? Why would you ask about the engagement?” She asked nervously, her eyes so wide I was beginning to get nervous about making her upset.
I pulled my brows in as I nodded my head towards her hand. “Because you’re looking for your ring to twirl around. You do that when you’re nervous.” I bent down, completely concerned and needing to know what the actual problem was. “What’s really going on?” I asked hoping she would open up to me. There’s got to be something else, I kept thinking as I stared into her eyes. They l
ooked uncertain and I just wanted to help her with whatever problem she was really having.
“I just really need to be alone right now. I’m so sorry…I just…I don’t feel well at all,” she stammered.
Whatever was bothering her, she obviously didn’t want my help with. I wanted to get angry with her for not letting me figure out a solution, but then again maybe we weren’t at that point in our relationship just yet. I wanted to be there for her, but I also know how she likes to try to do things for herself. “Okay. Umm well, if you need anything just text me and I’ll run out for you.”
She gave me a weak smile. “Thank you, that’s really sweet of you.” I bent down and gave her a kiss before turning to leave. I didn’t really want to go, but obviously she needed some alone time. My gut was telling me there was something else, but I couldn’t figure out what.
I got back to my apartment and sat there thinking about things. Nothing seemed to be adding up and I knew it was because of that text she received. I tapped my pocket attempting to fish out my phone when I realized I must have left it on her coffee table.
I walked across the hall and back into their apartment. Vanessa was standing up talking to Aubrey in a hushed manner. Both were surprised to see me walk back in. I also noticed that Vanessa threw some clothes back on. She still looked hot as hell and I wondered if she had the same lingerie on underneath.
I shook my head, angry with myself for thinking about sex again when she’s clearly upset about something. “Is everything okay? Vanessa, baby, you gotta tell me what’s really going,” I demanded. I tried not to sound pissed, but nothing was making sense and I was feeling really frustrated.
“Nothing, really.” She insisted. “I’m just not feeling well.” She touched her stomach again.
I stared at her for a moment, unsure of what to think. Must be a girl thing. Maybe she just got her period. Clark was right, I realized. I should probably note this in my calendar so I can plan around her mood swings.
I went ahead and grabbed my phone from the coffee table, slipping it into my back pocket before walking over to Vanessa. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close to me. I gave her a kiss on her neck and then whispered, “You know, if you get your period, you just need to tell me these things. It’s not that big of a deal.”
I pulled back and she gave me a sheepish smile, rolling her eyes. “Sorry, you’re right. My cramps just hit so hard and quickly this time,” she admitted. I gave her a quick pat on her ass and kissed her cheek. I felt slightly relieved to know that was part of the problem, but really wanted to know what was up with that text.
“Call me if you need anything,” I called back as I headed to the door, trying to dismiss my concerns.
I reached for the door, pulled it open and BAM ran smack into some guy. I stared at him for a moment, noting his brownish hair was disheveled and his eyes seemed red and swollen. I couldn’t tell if he had been crying or was pissed as hell. Whatever it was, he was at my girl’s door and I wanted to know why.
“Can I help you?” I asked in a deep protective voice, shocked that some guy was just about to walk in here. I stared him down as I watched him look me over.
“Nope. Just here to see my fiancée,” he told me, gritting his teeth.
I was totally taken off guard and asked, “Fiancée? Who would that be?” I started to wonder if Aubrey was engaged and I didn’t know about this. I was curious if Clark knows anything about that.
The guy stood firm and then said, “Yes, Vanessa –”
What the fuck? My mind was still trying to catch up to the fact that he just said my girl’s name. Anger started welling in me and I tried to fight it while I stared him down and was just about to say something when Vanessa ran up behind me.
I turned, seeing her panicked expression, as she exclaimed, “Charles…I asked you not to come over.”
Holy shit. She was texting this guy the whole time and I thought she was fighting with her mom. She fucking lied to me and I sat there trying to figure things out like a dumbfuck.
He stepped through the door as I stood there shocked at what the hell was happening. My body tensed up immediately as I watched the two interact with each other. I started sweating, my nostrils were flaring as anger coursed through me like a fucking train wreck. Another fucking train wreck. I tried to keep my cool as I watched the guy reach out to her, but Vanessa seemed to be trying to stay at arms length.
“Baby, I just want to talk about this,” the guy pleaded reaching out for her.
I stood there feeling like I was just punched in the gut with the same fucking flashback all over again. Fucking A, this was not going to happen to me again. “Fiancée? You didn’t break it off with him?” I yelled at Vanessa, trying so hard not to punch the fucker just out of pure anger.
“Who the hell are you?” the guy snapped at me angrily. I also noticed his fists clenched which prompted me to start doing the same.
I turned to him, pissed as hell and determined this time not to be the idiot. Again. “I’m her boyfriend,” I yelled as I started to stride towards him. I was ready to beat the fucking piss out of him. Son of a bitch, I’m in the same damn situation. Again.
His gaze snapped at Vanessa. “Vanessa?” He asked, making me stop in my tracks. I turned to look at her to see if she had anything to say.
We both watched her swallow nervously as she stammered. “Uhh, um. Well…I…”
I stood there wondering which guy I was going to be this time. How the fuck was I fooled by this whole damned situation again?
“Charles, I umm.” She stopped and glanced at me. “Can you…Umm. Can I just have a moment with Charles?” She pleaded, her eyes glossed with worry. Damn straight she better be worried and like fuck if I’m going to leave them alone. She’s lucky I wasn’t beating the shit out of this guy and going off on her.
I crossed my arms and leaned against the door frame. “Yep. I’ll stand right here. Talk,” I demanded through gritted teeth. I’m won’t leave like last time.
I glanced over and saw Aubrey standing there with wide eyes. She knew the whole fucking time too. Mother fucker, I’m the other guy. Again. I shook my head as I glanced up at the ceiling wondering how the hell I was fooled living right across the hallway from her. If she could lie like that so easily and me not ever see it, how could I ever have a relationship with anyone?
I stood there watching and waiting and thinking that all I really want is her. I don’t want another relationship with anyone else. But would I ever be able to trust her?
Vanessa turned towards the guy and took a deep breath as she stated. “Charles, I thought we agreed that it was over.”
“No, you told me it was over. I wasn’t set on it. Not to mention, I noticed you didn’t give me back my engagement ring, so I’m pretty sure you don’t really want this to be over.”
Vanessa looked confused as her eyes darted around nervously. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Aubrey run into her room.
I focused back to Vanessa, waiting to hear what she had to say now. Vanessa’s mouth was opened and she seemed like she was trying to formulate words. Finally she said, “That’s not true, Charles, I told you repeatedly that I wanted to break up.” Relief flooded me as I tried to process that she might have actually broken up with him.
Charles looked over at me and then back to her. He shook his head, pissed as hell before spitting out, “This guy? You think this guy is going to measure up to what your parents want for you?” I tried not to take offense as I watched her face redden with anger. At least I thought it was anger.
Vanessa was just about to answer when Aubrey came running out of her room. She stood in front of Vanessa and seemed to slip something into her hand and then walked away. I was still pissed off from his comment as if I weren’t good enough or something. I was ready to kick his ass from his comment and wanted to say something.
“It doesn’t matter what my parents think anymore, Charles. I’m so sorry,” Vanessa said, trying to keep calm
, as she handed him a ring. That same huge rock that I remembered she had on her finger when I first met her.
He took the ring and stared at it. I realized now that the guy was crushed and Vanessa had probably tried to tell him. I didn’t really want to, but I knew I needed to give them a little room to talk. I quietly walked over to where Aubrey was watching the whole thing.
“We’re perfect for each other. We’re meant to be together. I love you, Vanessa. You know that I’ve always loved you,” he practically begged and I actually started to feel bad for the guy.
Vanessa lip started to quiver as her eyes filled with tears. She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath. She lowered her voice as she assured him, “Charles, I’ll always love you. I’ll always…”
Beep Beep Beep. Charles gritted his teeth as I watched him fish his beeper out of his pocket, frustrated the entire time. He shook his head and looked up to the ceiling in disbelief.
“Emergency?” Vanessa gently asked. Charles nodded his head, pressing his lips together.
He grabbed the door handle and stopped, looking down at the floor. He took in a deep breath, looking back at Vanessa with pain in his eyes. “We’ll discuss this later.” He didn’t wait for her reply as he walked out the door. I’ll be sure as fuck I’m around whenever “later” came. Like hell if I was going to let him talk to her alone.
Vanessa stared at the door for a moment after he left and then looked back at me. Sympathy and sadness was written all over her face. This time I was going to wait to see what she had to say — what I should have done with Stephanie. I may be pissed off that she lied to me, but I could see for myself how persistent he could be.
Romantic Promises (Alluring Promises Series, #2) Page 46
