by Meier, Susan
He drew in a slow breath. Closed his eyes then popped them open again. Though it shredded his very needy heart to say it, he knew it was the right thing to do. “Yes. It does.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “No! It doesn’t!”
He realized then how much she cared for him. He also knew that with her sister struggling, she wasn’t thinking logically. He had to be the strong one. The smart one. The brave one. Because without her, he had nothing. But without him, she still had family. A brother. A sister. A mom. A dad. A brand-new career in a world full of people who would love her. People she’d get along with easily. Not someone she’d have to struggle with the way she always struggled with him.
“I have to go. I’m not letting any grass grow under my feet with Constanzo.”
The elevator pinged. The doors opened. She stared at him with a look of complete confusion.
He almost said, “I love you. I honestly believe you are the first person I’ve ever loved. And I will miss you so much that I may always feel it.”
But, in the end, he knew that it would hurt her or give her false hope about a relationship that was bad for her. So he walked onto the elevator, hit the down button and refused to look at her as the doors closed behind him.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
VIVI STARED AT the elevator door shell-shocked. He wasn’t just leaving. In the space of twenty-four hours of being with her family he’d decided they didn’t belong together.
That she wasn’t good enough.
She tried to tell herself that was wrong. But as she made her way through the day, keeping up appearances for her family who had enough to worry about, she realized she’d dragged him to a backward small town, made him buy jeans at a discount store and promised him a breakfast he hadn’t gotten.
All while her disapproving parents looked on.
What if seeing her roots, where she’d come from, who she really was, had shown him the real her? What if he’d been looking at her through rose-colored glasses, thinking she was something she wasn’t...or what if all this time he’d actually been making her into the woman he’d wanted her to be?
Pain gripped her heart, stopped her breathing. Just as he was revamping Jason Jones, he’d been revamping her, creating his perfect woman. He’d eased her into a whole new career, bought her a dress that turned her into a socialite look-alike. Of course he was changing her into the woman he wanted her to be.
She was such a fool not to see it. He didn’t love her. He loved the woman he was turning her into.
Her dad wasn’t right, but he wasn’t wrong either. Tucker might not be the kind of guy who would use her and then dump her. But he was the kind of guy to take someone with potential and turn them into what he needed.
Now that he’d seen the real her, her real life, her roots, he’d probably realized the changes wouldn’t stick. And she knew he wouldn’t be coming back.
She’d lost him.
If she’d ever really had him—and she didn’t think she had. He loved the woman he’d been making her into. Not her.
Tears filled her eyes and she let them fall. She’d almost made as a big of a mistake with him as she had with Cord.
* * *
Tucker flew back to Italy and made arrangements for Constanzo to send a car to his private airstrip for him. Though he couldn’t sleep or work on the flight, he refused to think about Olivia. He wouldn’t even consider that he had abandoned her because he hadn’t. She had loving parents, a little brother who wasn’t so little and a sister who would soon be leaning on her. She didn’t need him. But even if she had, he would have screwed it up. She needed, deserved, someone she could depend on, someone she could trust. He was not that guy.
And her parents had seen that.
He walked down the steps, out of his plane and over to the limo. The driver opened the door and when he slid inside he kicked Constanzo’s ankles.
“Constanzo? You didn’t have to meet me. I would have been fine traveling to your house alone.”
“Why are you here?”
“To negotiate, remember?” He scowled. “Unless you’re backing out of our deal.”
“I don’t back out of deals. But you shouldn’t be here. Vivi is in trouble and you are here with me...talking business.”
“I don’t want any grass to grow under our feet.”
“You are deserting her!”
“I’m not!”
He wasn’t sure how the shout had escaped but it infuriated him. He was better than this. Smarter than this. He’d fallen in love with a woman who deserved a better partner than he could be. It broke his heart. But he had to move on. He couldn’t shout or scream or rail at the unfairness of it. He had to move on.
He drew a long slow breath, reaching for his trademark calm. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not. It’s the first real emotion you’ve ever shown around me.” He sniffed a laugh. “Unless one counts the emotion I see on your face when you look at Vivi.”
He turned his head, glanced out the window, unable to hold Constanzo’s gaze anymore.
“You love her.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m not good for her. I don’t fit in her family. Worse, her family’s in crisis and I froze.”
“So?”
“So?” He gaped at Constanzo. “So she needed somebody strong and reliable and I had no clue what to say or do. I’m damaged. You know that. I didn’t have a normal family life.”
“There is no such thing as a normal family life. And I’m sure no one expected you to be strong or reliable. They just wanted you there.”
He snorted. “Trust me. They didn’t.”
Constanzo drew back. “Are you whining?”
“I’m not whining. I’m facing truth. She has a sweet, wonderful family. I grew up in foster homes with moms who made me pack my own lunch and sometimes cook my own dinner. No one ever talked to me about life. I had to figure out personal hygiene from books. I don’t know anything about real bonds. While Olivia’s family kisses and hugs and talks, I have no idea how to relate to them.”
“Tucker! You spent about ten hours with them! You’ve only known Olivia six or eight weeks. Getting along with people, even the woman you love takes time. Did you think this would be easy?”
“I—” Falling for Olivia had been easy. Natural. Her parents were a totally different story. “I don’t want to be so much at odds with her parents that I put a wedge between her and her family. I don’t want her to lose what I never had. That would be the ultimate selfishness.”
“You won’t take her away. You will learn to get along with them.”
“Right.”
“When you first met Vivi, you didn’t know how to deal with her.”
He said nothing. But remembered how awkward she’d made him feel.
“But eventually you figured it out.”
“She forced me to figure it out.”
“She’ll help you fit.”
“She shouldn’t have to help me fit.” Hatred of his start in life rolled through him on a hot ball of anger. All he’d ever wanted was to be normal and he’d figured out how. How to be bold and wise and never let anyone take advantage of him. None of that worked in a family.
“Weren’t you helping her fit into your world?”
“Yes. But that’s different.”
“Why?”
“Because my world isn’t something everybody understands. Family life is.”
“Oh, Tucker. You are making a huge mistake. Go back. Try. Otherwise, you’ll be me in thirty years. Except I don’t think you have an illegitimate son to find. Someone to give your life meaning. Do you want to be me? Searching out people like you and Vivi who keep you company only because they sort of have to?”
The picture that came to mind surprised him. It wasn’t
a vision of himself thirty years from now. It was a vision of himself thirty days from now when he returned to his sterile penthouse. Alone. His cold office. Empty. Without even the chance of seeing Olivia in the halls of Inferno because she would be globe-hopping with Antonio. Or looking for new clients. Or going to galleries, studying the art.
Without him.
And he’d even be paying for it.
“You have a chance for a whole new life. You simply have to face a few weeks of mistakes as you adjust to having a family.” He leaned across the seat and squeezed Tucker’s hand. “A real family. Your family, if you marry her.”
He sniffed a laugh. “She already asked me to marry her once.”
Constanzo laughed with delight. “She’s a girl who knows what she wants and goes after it. Maybe you should take a page from her.” He patted Tucker’s knee. “Get back on the plane. Humble yourself a little bit. The world is at your feet. A real life is at your feet. Not just Olivia’s mom and dad and sister and brother...but kids. Your kids. A dark-haired boy. A strawberry blonde little girl.”
He swallowed. He could picture it. He could actually see himself at a swing set. Or teaching his kids to swim. Or taking them to the opera and tickling them awake when they fell asleep. He could see Vivi running a household and having a career. He could see himself slowing down. Traveling with her. Sharing her exciting new career.
“Go home, Tucker. We can talk deal anytime. Right now Vivi needs you.”
As if the driver had been listening in on their conversation, the limo door opened.
He stared at it, for the first time in his life seeing freedom and happiness only a few steps away.
A few steps and an eight-hour flight.
Followed by a two-hour drive.
And even those could be a waste if Constanzo was wrong and Vivi didn’t want him. Didn’t trust him to help her through this. Didn’t trust him with her heart.
* * *
Two days later, Vivi left the hospital with her head down. They’d had a good day. Cindy had laughed—though it had caused her ribs to hurt so they’d upped her pain meds and she’d fallen back into a deep sleep and hadn’t again awakened for hours.
Which had been very bad for Vivi. Because when the room was quiet, she had plenty of time to think about Tucker.
She couldn’t believe she’d been so foolish as to fall for him, to believe he was different, that he’d love her in spite of her flaws, her wounds. But the ache in her very soul was proof that she had been. She’d fallen in love with a man who didn’t love. He changed people. Molded them to be what he wanted so he didn’t have to change.
Oh, she understood why. His upbringing had made him cautious and aware that people could hurt him. So he played it safe all the time.
But hadn’t she proven she’d never hurt him?
Even if she had, he hadn’t paid attention. He’d still tried to change her. Tried to make her into his perfect woman. He didn’t want her. He wanted someone he thought was perfect.
She reached the curb, lifted her head to look both ways before crossing the parking lot and stopped dead in her tracks. A few feet in front of her, leaning against a beat-up rental car, wearing the discount department-store jeans, was Tucker. He had his arms crossed on his chest, his butt on the car’s hood and his legs extended as if he’d been waiting a long time.
She started walking again, heading for her own car, determined to ignore him, but—
Well, there wasn’t any reason for him to accidentally be in Kentucky. He’d come to see her. And, damn it, if the flutter of her heart was anything to go by, she desperately wanted him to have come back to her. The real her. Not his perfect woman, but the woman with a sister in the hospital, parents who were worried and a sarcastic little brother.
She changed directions and walked toward him. He lifted himself from the hood.
“I’m sorry.”
She smiled slightly, not sure how to take that. Was he sorry he’d left? Sorry he’d tried to change her? Or did he feel what she’d felt? That walking away had torn out his soul.
She’d spent every minute of their time together giving him the benefit of the doubt, believing the best about him, only to be hurt. She couldn’t believe the best this time, couldn’t make excuses for him. He had to speak. And he had to say the right things.
She looked across the parking lot, at the green, tree-covered mountains behind him. “I think you’re going to have to do better than that.”
“Sorry’s not good enough?”
“Nope.”
“Not even from someone who loves you?”
Though her heart raced and her arms longed to swing around him and hold him close so he could never get away, she said, “You don’t love me. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have gone.”
“I left because I love you so much I think you deserve better.”
She sniffed a laugh. “Right. That’s why you tried to change me.”
“Change you?”
“You elevated me from meager accountant to manager, someone who can be seen in public with you. Especially in a five-thousand-dollar designer dress. Something I couldn’t have afforded for myself but something appropriate for me to be seen in with you. Almost as if I wasn’t good enough the way I was.”
“Oh, Olivia. Oh, God. Is that how you saw that?”
Her lips trembled but she continued to gaze off into the distance. He put his fingers on her chin, forcing her to look at him, reminding her of the first time he’d touched her and how she’d known, in that very second, that there was something different about him...about them.
“I wasn’t trying to change you. Just help you. I would put the world at your feet if I thought you wanted it.” He sucked in a breath. “You’re perfect, wonderful. Just the way you are. I’m the problem here.”
“You?”
“Your family loves you. Stands by you. Acts a bit like a bunch of barracudas assigned to protect you. And I’m...broken, Olivia. I’m the one who might not be good enough for you.”
“But you love me?”
“Yes. Scarily. I want you—want a relationship with you—so badly that it terrifies me.”
Her lips quirked. “I think if you do it right, love’s supposed to be scary.”
He barked a laugh. “What?”
“Well, people in love share secrets, form bonds, sacrifice.” She smiled. “You’ve been spoiled a long time.”
His hands slid to her waist. “Spoiled?”
She stepped closer. “Buying yourself everything you wanted.”
He laughed, nestled her against him. “I have.”
“But you couldn’t buy me.”
He grew serious. “I know.”
“Yet you still won me.”
He caught her gaze. “Have I?”
“Oh, come on. Where’s the great Tucker Engle, guy who sees all, knows all?”
He smiled. “You love me.”
“So you’ll win over my parents. You’ll make mistakes. Occasionally, you’ll say you’re sorry.”
He winced.
She playfully slapped his arm. “Saying you’re sorry isn’t that hard.”
“I don’t know. Your mother’s a tough cookie.”
She laughed. “Kiss me, you idiot. We’re going to make this work.”
He kissed her then and she melted against him. Because they were going to make this work. Not just because she loved him but because they were good together, honest, in the way people who’d had softer, easier lives couldn’t be. They’d appreciate every minute of every day together, have kids, build a family.
And he’d never be alone again.
EPILOGUE
WHEN THE LIMO pulled up to Constanzo’s home, Olivia raced to meet it. She didn’t wait for the driver to come around to
open the door, she opened it herself.
“Welcome to Italy, Mom and Dad!”
Her dad slid out of the limo first then reached in to help her mom out. “Beautiful place. The trees remind me of home.”
She hugged him, then her mom. “I thought the same thing.”
Her mom glanced around. “I can see why you’d want to get married here.”
Cindy ran out the front door with a squeal. As maid of honor and groomsman, she and Billy had arrived a week early to help with preparations. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
Her mom caught her in a hug. “Have you been making Billy mind?”
Cindy pulled away with a laugh, her short curly blond hair bouncing in the breeze.
Olivia said, “He’s eighteen, Mom. Cut the apron strings. This fall, he’ll be attending college in New York, living in his own apartment.”
“Only a few floors down from us,” Tucker said, coming out to greet her parents. He hugged her mom, shook hands with her dad. “We won’t let things get out of hand.”
Behind the scenes the driver unloaded their bags. Tucker directed them into the house. Constanzo stood in the foyer, waiting for them.
“Loraina! Jim! I finally get you to my home.”
Jim shook his hand. “Hey, you’ve never come to Kentucky. I still owe you for beating me at pool at Tucker’s.”
“I happen to have a pool table in the den.”
Olivia sighed. “We’re here for a wedding. Not a pool tournament. Tucker, tell them no tournaments.”
He said, “No tournaments,” but he laughed.
Olivia took her mom’s arm. “What do you want to see first? The pool? Your room? Antonio’s studio?”
“Oh, I don’t want to disturb Antonio.”
Antonio walked up the hall, drying his hands on a cloth. “You won’t disturb me.” He walked over and kissed Loraina. “You’re my biggest fan. You never disturb me.”
“Then give me ten minutes to get out of my traveling clothes and we’ll go to your studio.”
Cindy said, “I think I’m going to help the cook with lunch.”
Jim sidled up to Constanzo. “Once I change I’ll meet you at that pool table.”
