by Kacey Shea
“Goodnight, Derek.”
HANDS IN MY POCKETS, I whistle as I leave the hospital. It’s brighter than most nights and that’s when I notice the moon’s full. It looks fucking cool and casts shadows across the entire lot.
A chilly breeze blows and a movement near the emergency sign catches my eye. Some shady dude is leaning against a column staring directly at my approaching form. He wears worn jeans and a black shirt, and has tattoos up his arms and neck. He looks out of place. And because he’s just standing there staring, I go on alert.
“Hey, man, what’s up?” I nod and meet his stare. Yeah, I see you, you creepy mother fucker. The last thing I need is some stupid fight with a stranger, but I won’t let this idiot think he’s intimidating me. Who the fuck lurks around a children’s hospital parking lot after midnight?
He nods once and turns away, walking toward the drive that leads to the main road. Weird. His frame stays in my peripheral vision as I maintain a brisk pace to my vehicle. I’m relieved that he doesn’t look back, and he seems to leave.
When I hop inside my SUV I pull my phone from my back pocket and plug it into the charger. Oh, fuck. Shit. Shit. Shit. Sarah.
Sure enough, I have four missed calls, two voicemails, and over ten messages from her number. Quickly scrolling, I see most are just choice words for standing her up tonight.
Fuck that. She’s not my girlfriend.
It was kind of a dick move on my part, though.
God, this is why I don’t date. Expectations and responsibilities. No fucking thank you. I’ll just hook up, get off, and be done with the thing. I rub my temples and blow out a breath. Well, considering I’m over two hours late for our rendezvous, I’ll deal with that shit tomorrow. I’m not even sure she’s worth it. An easy sure lay with nice tits and tight ass, yes, but I don’t want to give her the impression I want anything more. Calling her to pacify her pissed off feelings may do just that.
I pop in a piece of double mint chewing gum and select a satellite station to serenade me on the drive home. I’m in the mood for something classic and when AC/DC comes on with “Highway to Hell” I tap my hands across the steering wheel. My left foot bounces to the bass beat. I let myself zone out, the familiarity of the drive easy navigation. Before I know it, I’m pulling into my reserved spot.
The need to write is pulsing in my veins. I grab my guitar case and jog up the steps. Doesn’t matter it’s the middle of the night; when inspiration hits I run with it. Experience has taught if I don’t give in to the muse, I’ll lie awake for hours anyway.
I slip off my shoes and open my case. Pulling my baby out, I stroke the wood and give it a little tap. My coffee table is already scattered in note paper and pencils, ready and waiting for when the spark to write ignites.
My mind wanders to a gypsy woman with piercing green eyes. Magic, mystery, and enchantment surround her aura and I’m pulled tight by her grip. A soft, sultry chorus builds and I practice over and over again until the sound matches my mind’s eye.
Words tumble faster than I can scratch them across the lined paper. Full lips, sensuous, pouty and pink. Dark hair, long and soft curls covering tan skin and luscious curves.
My gypsy muse provides all the inspiration I need and before I know it I’ve got more than two pages of potential lyrics. I push record on my phone and make a rough copy.
A glance at the screen shows it’s exactly three thirty-three in the morning. I walk the short distance to the bathroom to discard my clothes. I hit the head and brush my teeth before stumbling into my bed. I plug in my phone and set the alarm so I don’t forget.
7:00 AM Donuts with Mom
Sleep comes easy and peacefully.
Dave grins when I walk inside the room. There’s a yellow tint to his pale skin, but his eyes twinkle with glee.
“Derek, hand me the phone.”
“Dude. No way. Last time I was grounded from video games for a week.”
“C’mon, don’t be a little bitch. It’ll be funny.”
I act as if I’m put out by the request when really I can’t wait to see what he’s got up his sleeve. Together life is never boring and usually funny as hell. I hand him the phone off the table and he scoots over, making a space for me. I hop up and he presses the help button. He holds the receiver between us. Our heads barely touch.
“David, everything okay in there?” The gravelly voice sounds through the speaker.
“Ma’am . . . I have a question for you. Is your refrigerator running?” I cover my mouth to hold in the laughter. Dave’s voice is serious but his eyes sparkle.
“David . . .” A voice scolds.
“Can you please just tell me if your refrigerator is running?” he repeats.
“I suppose it is.”
“Then you should go catch it!” He laughs and slams down the receiver. We both erupt into a chorus of giggles. Tears stream down my face. I don’t know why it’s so flipping funny but it is. His joy is infectious.
“Wanna do another, Derek?” He grins.
“Yeah, Dave. Let’s do more.”
Beep, beep, beep.
Fuck. I ease one eye open and remember why the hell I need to be up as the alarm flashes across the screen. Mom. I growl into my pillow and unwillingly peel myself from the soft warm blankets. I don’t want to go, but I promised her.
I take a quick shower and dress in a shirt and jeans, then pull a black hoodie over the ensemble. I pocket my phone and keys and lock the door on the way out to the Yukon. The morning is cool and crisp and helps wake my still fuzzy brain.
Traffic isn’t too bad and I stop at the local favorite, Bosa Donuts, for a dozen. The sweet sugar pastry scent fills the cab, and memories of going to the tiny shop with my mom every Saturday morning resurface. I’m twelve all over again, such a strange sensation coupled with my dream from last night.
The rest of the drive goes by in a blur as I sing along with John, Paul, George, and Ringo. I jog up the walkway, donuts in hand and check in before making my way to mom’s apartment. I knock twice and open the door.
“Mom!” I call inside the seemingly empty living space. I set the donuts on the table. “Madre, it’s Derek. I brought bozo donuts like I promised!” Her bedroom door is shut and the urge to swing it wide open runs through my mind but I have to respect her privacy.
I knock loudly and call her name again.
“Coming,” she calls back in a weary voice. I hope it won’t be one of those mornings. I mentally prepare myself for the worst. I grab two glasses from the cabinet and a container of juice from the fridge, and arrange everything on the round kitchen table.
“Derek. What a lovely surprise!” I glance up and am happy to find a smile fills her face. She’s dressed and even did her makeup.
“Madre, you look beautiful this morning.” I hug her tightly and kiss her cheek before releasing her to pull out a chair.
“What a treat! I miss our donut dates.”
“Me too, Mom.”
She pours the juice and I grab two clean plates, setting one in each place before popping open the box.
“Goodness! It’s just us two. You didn’t need to get so many.” She pulls one out of the box and sets it on the plate before her, licking the glaze from her fingertips.
“I thought you might enjoy them until I come back to visit on Saturday.” I pull one out and quickly devour it. The dough practically melts inside my mouth. Damn. Just the same as I remember.
“Well, thank you. My boy, always thinking of me.” She smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes, and pats my arm before going back to her food.
The rest of my visit is uneventful and for that I’m glad. She’s having a good day. It’s nice to make it a little brighter. I can’t stay long though, I have another day of practice with the band and then hopefully I can catch a nap before heading back to Children’s.
I promised Luis I’d visit in a few nights but I already miss the kid. His youth is so refreshing and untainted. The time we spent just sho
oting the shit and playing video games was more fun than I’ve had in a long time. Besides, I always knew if I was ever given the opportunity to teach someone to play music, someone who truly needed it the way Richard knew I did, I would step up.
I guess the bar scene must be wearing on me, because the thought of going out with the guys after practice tonight holds no appeal. I’d rather spend it hanging with a sick kid and a fine ass nurse. Yeah, Carly’s a bonus. She’s not interested in sleeping with me, but somehow I like her anyway. Maybe I need her friendship, maybe she needs mine. Either way, I’m drawn to her.
She’s guarded, that much is clear, and damn if I don’t want to discover what or who made her that way. I’m not sure she’ll let me in, but being friends is a good place to start. Though being around her fucking fabulous body is sure to drive me crazy. If we hang out I’m going to have to get laid. That reminds me . . .
I pull out my phone and send Sarah a quick apology for last night. I tell her something came up but I’ll make it up to her with my tongue. It takes her less than twenty seconds to respond.
Sarah: I’m fucking pissed. I waited outside your apartment for 30 mins. Then had 2 drive back to my apartment unsatisfied. Fuck you.
Me: Good. Channel that energy. I’ll come over tonight. Angry sex.
Sarah: What if I don’t want to?
Me: You want to. What time you get off?
Sarah: 10. I’m not fucking driving to your place to get stood up.
Me: Yeah. I’ll be over late. I’ve got something to do, but then I’m reacquainting my face with your pussy.
Sarah: Don’t fucking tease me.
Me: I will. With my tongue, but you love it. Later, babe.
My cock throbs uncomfortably in my jeans as I lock my phone and set it down. Yeah, I need to get laid tonight. I’d rather play patient with a sexy nurse, but I’ll make due with a slutty bartender.
SIX FOR SIX. THAT’S HOW many shifts I’ve worked where Derek shows up to spend his evening holed up with Luis. And it’s not a quick five minute visit, either. He stays for hours. They play video games, watch movies, or jam out. It’s endearing and sweet because he’s not doing it to impress anyone. At least I don’t think he is. Not with that many hours in a sick kid’s room. He still flirts with me shamelessly, though in a playful manner, and for the most part I think he does it for Luis’ entertainment.
I always get assigned Luis. The nurses on staff know he’s my favorite patient and wouldn’t dare move him to someone else during my shifts. A new bonus to taking care of Luis is getting a glimpse at the real man behind the rock star front. The best was last night. I came in to find them trying out some new phone app. Making silly faces while doing voice overs to sound clips. They were laughing so hard I had to give them the mom voice, to keep it down because other patients were sleeping, when really I wanted to hug Derek. He brings Luis so much joy in spite of the brutal side effects to his new chemo mix.
I check my watch. It’s almost ten-thirty, so I head to Room 412, where I’m certain I’ll find the duo. I have to kick him out every night. They’re both night owls, but Luis needs his sleep.
I knock softly and step inside. Derek is singing the lyrics to a song I don’t know, and strumming his guitar. Luis is keeping beat. Hell, yeah. He’s actually keeping a steady beat and it makes me grin. Not bad after two weeks of practice.
“Hey, boys. It’s bedtime,” I interrupt. “You’re getting better, Luis.” He grins at my compliment and sets the drum sticks on the bedside table. He grunts with a wince as he twists to his side.
“How’s your pain?” I place my fingers over his wrist to check his pulse. I brush the back of my hand over his forehead just to be sure. I’m relieved to find his skin cool and dry to my touch.
“My side just hurts tonight,” he reasons. I nod, and pull out his chart to make a few notes.
“One to ten?”
“Just a five, maybe six.”
“You buzz me if it gets any higher than that. Or if you can’t fall asleep, okay?” I put his chart away and help adjust his bed, pillows, and blankets so he’s all snuggled in for the night.
Derek watches and waits at the door. I can feel his gaze at my back, but don’t look his way. “Goodnight, Luis. Buzz me if you need anything, okay?”
“Okay. ’Night, Nurse Carly. ’Night, Derek.”
“’Night, Luis.”
Derek opens the door and holds it for me. I flip the lights off on my way out. Derek waits until the door clicks shut before he turns to me.
“He seemed more tired tonight.” Derek’s brows knit into a frown.
I nod. “Yeah, this latest round is taking its toll. But only another ten days. He can handle it.”
“What happens in ten days? What’s next?”
I start walking to the nurses’ station. Derek keeps his stride in time with my own. “The team will evaluate his care plan. He’ll get a little break and go for tests so we can see how well his body responded to this latest round.”
“Okay. Thanks, Carly. You take good care of him. He likes you the most. You’re his favorite nurse.”
I laugh. We reach my desk and I turn to face Derek with a smirk. “I’m sure he says that about all his nurses.”
“No.” He lowers he voice and glances around before adding, “He loves you most, told me so. He’s just nice to all the nurses so they’ll dote on him. He’s playing them, but you’re special.”
I shake my head. Nothing we didn’t already know, the kid has natural charm, but I take delight that he likes me best. “Quite the player, that one. You giving him lessons on that, too?” I tease and Derek pretends to look insulted.
“What? I don’t know what you mean! You implying I have some mad skills with the ladies?” He wiggles his brows.
“That’s what you tell me, though honestly, I can’t say I’ve seen those skills in play.” Liar. This man’s gaze alone elicits my most indecent thoughts. He steps close and reaches out to dance his fingertips down the skin of my arm. I shiver.
“Are you volunteering as tribute?” His voice low and deep, eyes watching mine.
“I thought we agreed you were friend zoned.”
He laughs a deep loud chuckle and I can’t help but smile.
“Yes. Any time you want to move me to another zone I’m happy to oblige.” He flips that tongue stud at me and I wish for a short moment in time that things could be different. That I could be different. That I wasn’t a mom, or so damn responsible. Those thoughts quickly flood me with guilt and I look away. His gaze is too much, too intense a scrutiny for my thoughts.
“Hey, I’m only kidding. I just like teasing you. You’re a good friend, Carly. But you know what friends do?” He moves back half a step and I relax, blowing out a breath before meeting his eyes again.
“What’s that, Derek?”
“Coffee.”
“Coffee?”
“Yeah, friends meet for coffee. So, do you have a break you can take? Or maybe one coming up that I can wait for?” He looks so sincere and I realize I do want to have coffee with him. Not the rock star. Just the man. The one who volunteers at the hospital where I work.
“Okay. Give me a sec while I find someone to cover my patients.” His brows rise and disappear into his hair where it falls forward on his forehead. I’ve surprised him. I turn on my heel and hide my grin, and jog down the hall to catch Marilyn before she enters her patient’s room.
“Hey, Marilyn. Mind covering my patients while I take fifteen?
“You got it, honey. Take your phone and I’ll call if there’s any trouble.”
“Thank you. I’ve already got it with me.”
I walk back to the desk where Derek’s waiting, cell to ear as he rolls his eyes.
“Look, if you can’t handle this it’s your problem. I’ve been truthful from the beginning.” He nods toward the elevators and we walk together. He rolls his eyes and points at the phone. Whoever he’s talking to has lots to say. I push the down button and glance
back to study his face.
He shakes his head and looks up at the ceiling. “I’m going to have to cut you off. I need to go. Look, don’t call me.” His eyes widen and he moves the phone from his ear. The shrill screams of a pissed and angry woman sound through the line and he gives me a sheepish grin. He mouths sorry as we step inside the car. I push the button for the main floor and he ends the call with his thumb and pockets the phone.
“She didn’t sound like she was finished.” I smirk. Who was he talking to?
“Yeah . . . Uh . . . let’s just say she doesn’t appreciate my inclination to rearrange my schedule at a moment’s notice.” He almost looks embarrassed.
“Did you have plans? We can get coffee another time.”
“No. I want to have coffee with you. My other activities aren’t a priority. It’s something I can do anytime.” He says activities the same way he says something sexual and filthy. My body responds—nipples erect, core tightened—and I’m glad for the baggy scrubs that hide my traitorous reaction.
The doors open and we stride into the cafeteria. It’s late so only one lonely staff member mans the register. Derek and I fill our coffee cups side by side in silence. He adds a shit ton of creamer.
“A little coffee with your cream? You sure you don’t just want a soda? Probably contains less sugar.”
He smiles and his eyes crinkle at the edges. “What? I like sweet things.”
I scoff. “I’m sure you do.” He just laughs.
He insists on paying and we find a table near the window that looks out into the garden. The solar lights placed throughout coupled with the moonlight give the space a magical feel. A few lights even twinkle off the manmade pond when the branches of the mesquite tree shake.
“So how long have you worked here?”
I purse my lips and twist my Styrofoam cup on the faux wood table top. “Hmm . . . I think it’s been nine years now?” I do the math and giggle. “I always forget. I’ve spent so much of my life here. The only way to remember is to count back six months from when I got pregnant with Ezra.” He grins and sips his sugar coffee.
