by Kacey Shea
“Yes! We can’t be late for our appointment!” Kate calls out. She drags Evie and myself out the door with her. “Bye, boys! Don’t maim the drummer!”
Not five seconds after the car doors slam I’m pummeled with questions.
“Shut the front door! You and Derek? I can’t believe this!” Kate yells and peels out onto the street.
“I thought you had a date with a doctor? We were looking forward to real life Grey’s not Almost Famous.” Evie pouts. “Let’s hit Starbucks on the way.” She taps Kate’s shoulder. Kate nods.
“Derek and I aren’t a thing.”
“Then why the fuck is he showing up on your doorstep on a Saturday morning?” Kate meets my gaze in the rear view mirror and her brows rise over the frame of her sunglasses.
“I don’t know. Well, he was the only person I could think to call yesterday when my car wouldn’t start,” I start to explain.
“And he came and got you?” Evie gushes. “How sweet is that?”
“Ha!” Kate laughs. “Not sweet. He just wants in her pants.” She meets my eyes again. “Sorry, Carly.”
“No. I know. I thought that, too, but I made it perfectly clear he wouldn’t be doing that weeks ago.”
“Wait. Hold up. Weeks?” Evie turns in the front seat. Her brows furrow and her voice is soft. “I feel like I don’t even know you.”
“Stop. It’s not a big deal so I didn’t mention it. Derek volunteers at Children’s. Apparently, he’s been doing so for years, just never on my floor. We ran into each other and he happened upon Luis’ room.”
“Luis is Carly’s favorite patient.” Evie fills Kate in.
“I thought you’re not supposed to have favorites,” Kate adds.
“We aren’t.”
“Back to the story about you falling in love with a rock star.” Evie bats her eyes.
“No. No. That’s not what I’m doing. We’re friends. He’s gorgeous and talented, but so not good for me or what I need. And he’s cocky as hell.”
“Damn straight,” Kate muses with appreciation.
“Then you are dating the doctor?” Evie asks.
“Yes. I guess so. I mean, he’s really polite, and hello, he’s a doctor so he’s smart, well educated, has direction and life goals . . .”
“Fucking snore fest,” Kate interrupts.
“He’s seems dreamy,” Evie argues.
“I don’t know, he sounds more McBoring. Is he at least good looking?” Kate pulls into the drive thru lane.
“He’s very good looking. And he has all his hair.” Kate and Evie burst into a fit of giggles. “What? I know it sounds weird but honestly, most doctors are bald and fat!”
“Okay, what are you bitches having?”
We place our orders and Kate and Evie continue to debate whether Garrett’s the right choice for me. All Kate’s talk makes me wonder whether there’s something wrong with me. Should I be concerned I don’t feel blind lust when Garrett and I are together? I shake my head and sip my coffee. No. I’ve had that before and I lost myself. I will not do that again.
It’s one of the main reasons I knew the moment Derek said hello that I’d never let anything happen between us. He’s just like Josh with that magnetic pull that seeps into my very being. Yes. Practical is better. And I do find Garrett attractive. And I appreciate he wants to date and get to know me better. It’s respectful and it makes me feel in control.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this!” Kate squeals as we pull into a space directly across from the bridal boutique. “Fucking A! My best friend is really getting married!”
Evie beams and we make our way inside the small shop. A bell chimes overhead and a woman’s voice calls from the back, “I’ll be right with you!”
“Pumpkin spice latte, yum. Kate you want a sip?” Evie pushes her cup into Kate’s face.
“Oh, God. Please, no. Keep that shit away from me.” Kate shoves it away.
“I thought you loved pumpkin spice?”
“I do . . . I just . . . Don’t want to spill anything on my outfit.” Her face goes a little pale and she swallows two times while Evie studies the gowns hanging on the rack. “Excuse me.” Kate calls over her shoulder as she hurries toward a back hallway and my eyes grow wide. Could she be—?
“I need to use the ladies room, too, Evie, I’ll be right back.”
“Okay.”
I walk briskly and push inside the restroom just in time to hear the tell tale sounds of Kate retching inside one of the stalls. A flush, and a moment later she steps out, giving a little jump when she finds me waiting.
“Oh, I didn’t know you were in here.” She won’t meet my eyes.
“You’re pregnant!” I practically shout. Her eyes go wild and she shakes her head vehemently back and forth.
“No. No. Not that. Couldn’t be. I . . . oh, my . . . fuck me,” she stutters and goes pale again. I wet a few paper towels at the sink to dab them across her forehead and neck.
“It’s okay, Kate.” She seems overwhelmed by my allegation. “You really didn’t know?”
“I can’t be. I . . . what if? Oh, God . . . I can’t.” She looks as though she’s about to be sick again. I brace her shoulders with my hands.
“Breathe. It’s okay. You’re not the first woman to do this.” Tears tumble down her face. “It’s okay, Kate. You’ll be okay.”
“You can’t tell Evie.” She struts to the mirror to examine her face and grabs a few more paper towels to wipe her tears. She pulls a compact from her purse. “Promise me, you’ll say nothing to Evie.”
“I won’t, but why? Are you worried about being too big for the bridesmaid dress?”
She catches my gaze in the mirror and shakes her head. Her words are almost a whisper, “No, I’m afraid I won’t be.” She gulps once and finishes her retouch. By the time Kate’s done she doesn’t look pale or upset or even as if she’s been crying. “Can you just not tell anyone for now? It’s too early and I can’t . . . I won’t . . . I just—”
I touch her shoulder and nod. She’s obviously worried about losing the baby and I have to wonder if that’s happened to her before. I won’t push if she doesn’t want to tell. “Of course. I won’t say anything. But if you ever need to talk, I’m here, okay?” She nods and then pastes on a brilliant smile.
“Now let’s go find our bride a kick ass gown!”
Kate pushes through the door and I scramble to catch up. I mentally prepare myself for the primping and preening that’s sure to fill our afternoon. I wonder how my boys are holding up. It irritates me that I can’t help but wonder about Derek too.
“WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH my sister?”
My eyes flick between Tate at my right who keeps flexing his arms and Jon at my left who repeatedly loads and reloads the same damn rifle. Every time the gun gives a little pop I can’t help but jump, and his twitching lip tells me he finds it amusing.
We drove an hour outside the city to this little wasteland in the desert. I’d seriously be concerned they were bringing me here to murder my sorry ass if it weren’t for the two boys. Carly’s sons found shooting fun for about ten minutes and then became more amused with finding old shotgun shells. I’m relieved they’re here, though. Tate and Jon wouldn’t hurt me in front of the kids. I hope.
Tate clears his throat as I lift the gun and aim at the cans we’ve set up as targets. My intentions. I’d love to fuck your sister but she won’t let me so now we’re friends. Yeah. Better not lead with that.
“I intend to be a good friend to her.” I pull the trigger. Pop. Miss.
“She’s becoming a good friend to me.” Pop. Miss.
“She’s an amazing nurse. Kind, loving, and smart. Good to her patients. Generous in how she cares for others.” Pop. The can wobbles. Nicked it. Hell, yes!
“And I’ll do anything I can to take care of her.” Pop. Bang. “Fu—funky town! I hit that can!” I grin and catch the twitch play at Tate’s lips as if he’s considering a smile. I set the gun on
the folding table we’ve brought along and give him my full attention.
“I swear on my life I won’t hurt your sister. And on top of that I’ll do everything in my power to make sure no one else hurts her.”
Tate extends his hand and I take it in my own and give it a solid shake. The concern from yesterday floods my mind.
“Did you find out who cut her battery?” I ask and drop his hand.
“How did you know the battery was cut?” Jon interrupts, then cocks the rifle and shoots three subsequent rounds. Can after can falls over in the wake of bullets.
“I checked. When she asked for a ride I thought maybe I could jump it and just follow her home. But those wires were intentionally cut. And I don’t like that it happened at her work. Do they have a history of vandalism there? It seems they should have better security than that.”
Jon sets the gun down. He studies me before giving a nod. “I agree.”
“And no, to answer your question, nothing like this has happened before to Carly or her co-workers. We called Security yesterday and they were as upset as we are. My buddy checked the entire car and that was the only thing messed with. So that’s good. I think.” Tate rubs his temples with his thumb and index finger.
“You go to the hospital much?” Jon asks.
“Yeah, actually I volunteer there whenever I can.” Jon nods and I don’t really like the way he’s looking at me. Does he think—?
“I didn’t cut her battery if that’s what you’re implying, bro,” I say and his lips pull into a cocky grin.
“I never said that. Bro.” He steps closer to me. Fuck. This guy is huge. And retired Army. Yeah, like I already can’t tell he’s intimidating as hell. He could probably kill me ten different ways before I even got in a swing.
“Jon, man, chill. The boys,” Tate says. We glance over to find Ezra and Eli staring with wide green eyes. The little one’s lower lip gives a little tremble. Fuck. Now I feel like shit for scaring him.
“What do you think, little dudes? Can Jon beat me in a shooting contest?” I shout over to them with an easy smile. Jon chuckles under his breath but the boys relax and come closer.
“That’s not a good bet to take, Mister Derek. Mister Jon is an Army man. He’s going to win.”
“Da—dandelions! Looks like I’m probably buying ice cream then. Loser has to.”
“Yes!” Eli gives a fist pump and it’s adorable.
Ezra nods to Jon. “You gotta win this. Your rep is at stake. And plus I could really go for some fro-yo.” He’s so serious and it’s hard not to laugh. By the look in Jon and Tate’s eyes they’re struggling to hold back smiles, as well.
“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a gentlemen’s bet!” Tate slaps my back and then Jon’s before waving the boys to his side. “Choose your weapons and let’s get this show on the road. I’m with Ez. I’m ready for ice cream, too!”
WE GET BACK FROM OUR shopping and lunch and I’m exhausted. Who knew there were so many styles of wedding gowns? And shades of white! I thought white was white. Evie pulls down a bottle of wine from the top of the refrigerator.
“Thank you, guys, for coming with me today. I think we should celebrate all our hard work with drinks!” She opens the cupboard for the wine glasses and Kate turns to me with wide, horrified eyes. Kate loves to drink. I’ve actually never seen her turn down alcohol. Good luck trying to hide this pregnancy much longer. Surely Evie will be suspicious. I bite my lip and try to think of a good excuse.
“Mama!” The kitchen door swings open and Eli and Ezra race inside with ear to ear smiles.
“You’re back! How did it go today?” I kiss the tops of each head as they squeeze me tight. Eli pulls back and Jon, Tate, and Derek enter the room. Jon goes straight to Kate and she pulls him in for a scorching kiss. Evie giggles and Tate holds her hand. Derek stands near the door watching everyone.
“Oh, it was amazing,” Eli says, “Mister Jon is so good at shooting. He shot a bush. You should’ve been there.”
“Shot a bush? Should I be jealous?” Kate quips.
“He exploded the bush!” Ezra shouts with wide eyes. He looks to Jon with respect and admiration. Kate bites back a laugh.
“Exploded?” I contain my giggle and give Jon and Tate a curious stare.
“Yes! He shot it and exploded it. Mister Jon is really good at exploding bushes.”
“I’ll say he is,” Kate murmurs loud enough so we can all hear. Jon’s neck turns a deep shade of pink. Snickers escape from all the adults.
“Give it a rest, woman! There are children in the room,” Jon grinds out.
“You’re the one teaching them how to explode all over bushes.” Kate bats her eyes.
“Okay. Time to go!” Jon waves and pulls Kate by the arm. He smacks her ass on the way out the door.
Evie pulls Tate to the couch in the other room with a glass of wine in hand. Eli and Ezra disappear down the hall to their room. I’m left alone with the man I haven’t stopped thinking of all day.
“So, you survived.” I nod. I’m impressed he made it an entire afternoon without bailing. Derek struts to the table and pulls out the chair next to mine.
“I did. It was quite enjoyable. I like your kids, mama,” he murmurs and leans over to bump my shoulder with his own. I roll my eyes.
“That sounds super creepy and borderline pedophile-like.” His back straightens and his eyes widen as a look of fear crosses his face.
“No. Please don’t say that. Now I need a shower.” He cringes and gives a little shake.
“You can take a shower here!” Eli says as he waltzes into the room with a box of coloring supplies. Derek looks panicked by the suggestion. My lips pull to a grin.
“I think it’s best if Mister Derek showers at home.”
“I agree!” Tate shouts from the living room. Ezra walks down the hall and stops, arms crossed over his little chest, gaze calculating as he watches Derek from just inside the hallway arch. If I didn’t know better I’d think Jon and Tate gave him lessons on how to appear intimidating. Of course, on his scrawny frame it just looks cute.
“Can Mister Derek go trick or treating with us? I want to be a drummer just like him,” Eli declares. He climbs into the open seat next to Derek and begins to draw.
Derek’s face softens to a grin. He leans forward and rests his arms across the table, then leans forward so his chin rests on his hands. He’s eye level with Elijah and taps at the coloring book to the beat of a song inside his head.
“I would love to trick or treat with you, little man. If that’s okay with your mom?” They both look up at me from under their lashes and I swear it’s a move they’ve practiced and choreographed. I couldn’t say no if I wanted to. But I don’t want to.
“Yes, I’m sure that would be fine.” I smirk. “But you have to wear a costume, too.”
“Yes.” Eli nods. “It’s the rules of Halloween, so you better pick a good one. But you can’t be a drummer ’cause that’s my idea.”
“And you can’t be a soldier. Cause that’s what I’m gonna be,” Ezra says, finally joining us at the table. He sits next to me and pulls a notepad and crayon from the box.
“Da—dagnabit! Those are my top two costume ideas of all time.” Derek drops his head and squeezes his eyes shut with a big sigh. I almost believe he’s really upset. He’s always been so good with Luis and I can see the same goes for younger kids. He bangs his head lightly on the table, causing the boys to giggle.
“Shi—shingleberry! I’ll have to give this some thought. I won’t be as cool as you guys, but I’m going to come up with something that’ll make you proud.” Derek stands and gives each boy a high five. The language needs work but I appreciate he’s attempting to censor his potty mouth.
“Well, I better be going now. Thanks, Tate, for your hospitality today.” My brother just nods from the couch. Evie’s settled into his side as they watch the game on TV.
“I’ll walk you out,” I offer.
Outside, the sun shi
nes brightly. Warmth seeps into my skin, deep down into my very being, and my lips pull into a grin. I’m not sure why, but I’m happy, filled with an almost giddy joy. It was a beautiful day spent with good friends. That’s why. Derek flashes his cheeky grin. “Please tell me you’re going as a naughty nurse. Pretty, pretty please.” He clasps his hands together and closes his eyes. I shake my head.
“Oh, my god, give it up, man! It’s a dream that you’ll never realize. Stick with music.” I pretend to be offended and roll my eyes but a smile still covers my face. He laughs.
“I had a fun time with your family today. Thanks for letting me barge into your life. Sometimes it’s just nice to be around normal, happy people. I miss that.” His face is carefree but his words hint at something bigger.
“You don’t have that with your family?”
“Nah.” He bites his lip. “My mom has early-onset Alzheimer’s. She’s actually all right most days. It’s just . . . no, there isn’t any normal, happy anymore. Hasn’t been for a while.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. And your dad?” He shakes his head.
“See, you always pegged me for mama issues, but it’s all daddy issues here. But enough of my sad life. Why don’t you tell me about your baby daddy?”
“What?” I roll my eyes. Nice deflection. I know he didn’t answer my question on purpose. My curiosity about this man grows by the second. He stares and motions his hand in circles urging me to answer his question.
“There’s nothing to tell.” I shrug, “He was a great sperm donor. Moved on with his life. I’ve moved on with ours,” I lie. Derek studies my face and I can’t handle the scrutiny. It seems somehow if he looks long enough he’ll know everything. I push his shoulder and step back.
“Better bring your best with the costume. I want to be amazed!” I challenge. He opens the door to his SUV and climbs inside. The engine roars and he slams the door and rolls the window down.
“Oh, you better believe it! I know you doubt me, but my costume will be so kickass you’ll regret even asking me to come along.”
God, I hope not.
