by Ann Mullen
I tried to sit up. My head felt woozy and my stomach was queasy, but I wasn’t about to tell anyone. “Too much stress, I guess. Can we go home? I’m tired.”
Billy helped me down off the gurney. “The doctor wants you to take it easy for a while. You need some rest. He says you’re stressed out.”
“I can go along with that.” I took Billy’s arm.
Mom walked up to me and said, “I might have to stay in this hospital, but you don’t. I want you and Billy to take Claire and the children, and go home. I don’t want to be stuck here and have to worry about my family. There’s another storm coming and it’s going to be real bad. The doctor says you need some rest. Go home.”
I was lost in a world that was spinning out of control. Ten months ago, I was living the life of a middle-aged, thirty-one year old nobody who had nothing going for herself. I wasn’t really unhappy, but I wasn’t happy either. I existed. Now I have a real life. I like myself and I like other people—which was a major step for someone who suffers from anxiety and doesn’t do well in social circumstances. I have a job I enjoy most of the time. I had a sensual, tingling love affair with Cole—an experience I will always treasure—that led me to my true destiny... Billy. He was the man that was going to change my life forever. No wonder I fainted.
Claire followed us out of the hospital parking lot, driving her Mercedes SUV, with both kids strapped safely in the back seat. I was concerned about her ability to drive in this storm, but she assured me she’d seen worse. Billy had confidence in her so who was I to argue? I must admit I was impressed with her driving capability when we reached the Rt. 29 turn off to Billy’s road. A foot of snow had accumulated on the ground, it was dark outside, and the wind was blowing so hard that the Jeep rocked back and forth. I thought for sure that we might fly off the road at any minute. Despite the conditions, Claire held her own. Not once did she swerve out of control. I was proud of her.
“Did you get anything out of Cole after I had my little fainting spell?” I asked as we turned into the long driveway to our house.
“We didn’t get a chance to talk. I was too concerned about you.”
“He probably wouldn’t have told you anything you didn’t already know. Cops never volunteer information.” I looked straight ahead, occasionally glancing back at Claire’s vehicle.
“This storm sure is getting ugly,” Billy said. “Don’t worry about Claire. I’ve been keeping my eye on her. She’s a pretty good driver.”
Billy pulled up in front of the house and parked. His truck was hidden under a mound of snow. The house was dark and cold looking, nestled in the snow-covered woods. Swirls of glistening powder pounded the scenery.
“We need to start leaving the porch light on in weather like this,” I suggested. “I don’t want to try to find my way in the dark.”
“I thought we did.”
I gave Billy a curious look. “I don’t think so. It was daylight when we left. We wouldn’t leave the light on in the daytime.”
He reached behind the seat, removed a flashlight from one of his bags, and handed it to me. “Glad we stopped at my apartment. I don’t imagine you would have a flashlight in your car, would you?”
“I most certainly do!” I lifted the lid to the center storage compartment between our seats, and retrieved a flashlight. “See! I learn fast!”
“I’m proud of you,” Billy said, smiling his sheepish smile. “For a city girl, you’ve come a long way.”
“Baby,” I finished his sentence.
He shook his head. “You watch way too much television.”
Once inside the house I flicked the light switch but nothing happened. I flicked it again, and again, and then yelled, “Billy the power’s off.” I swept the beam from my flashlight around the room. The house was cold and quiet. Where was Athena and Thor? Behind me, Claire shivered in the cold, hugging her kids close.
“It’s cold in here, Ant Jess,” little Benny whined. “Feel my hands.”
“I know, honey. Ant Jess is going to warm it up as fast as she can,” I promised, reaching down and taking his hand. “Come on over by the fireplace and help me stir up some coals.”
Carrie squealed with delight as she left her mother’s side to be with her big brother. They huddled together beside me as I stirred the coals.
While I showed Benny and Carrie how to restart a fire, Billy brought in his stuff from his apartment and then helped Claire with the mounds of kid supplies she said she carried all the time.
“You’ll learn, Jesse, once you have your own kids. I don’t leave the house without a week’s worth of everything. You never know what’s going to happen. It’s a mother thing; you’ll see.”
“Whoa!” I said. I grabbed both the kids and stepped back. The fire had kicked in and the flames were soaring.
Billy shut the front door. “I guess that’s one way to clean the chimney.”
“All I did was add a couple of fire bricks and throw on a log.”
“You used two?” Billy and Claire asked in unison. They both laughed.
“Even I know better than to use two,” Claire chuckled.
“Well,” Billy said, walking over to me. “If we don’t have a chimney fire and burn down the house, it should get good and warm in here. I think it’s pretty cozy.” He slipped his arm around my waist and gave me a quick kiss as we stood in the warmth of the glow from the fireplace.
“Yuck!” Benny slobbered. “Kissing is gross.”
“Oh, you won’t think so when you get older,” I leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“That’s different. You’re Ant Jess,” he giggled.
The sparkle in his eyes against the shadow of the flames was a beautiful sight. It touched my heart. Here was a little boy who obviously loved his Ant Jess. Had I not noticed that little person until now?
“Your Ant Jess loves you and your sister very much.” I hugged them both. “You’re very special.”
“I think I’m going to cry,” Claire’s voice broke. “That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen you do, Jesse. I like it when you take notice of the kids. It really makes them happy. They love you so much.”
That’s my sister. Even when she’s trying to be sincere, she can still say things the wrong way. I knew what she meant. “I realize that I have been a little self-centered...” I tried to say.
“No, I don’t think self-centered is what I would call it. I think it’s a little more like isolated. You never let anyone get close to you.”
“Claire, I don’t know where this is coming from, but...”
“That’s enough,” Billy spoke sternly. “We have two kids here that need some food and a warm place to sleep. Save the chitchat for later, please. I’ll go check the electrical panel and see about getting us some power. I might have to turn on the generator.”
Claire and I retreated. What was it between us? We’d been so close until we moved to the mountains. We had changed. I was finding myself while she was losing her identity. She had been a wife and mother for a good part of her life and she didn’t know how to be anything else. She was like a lost child.
I searched the rooms for candles while Claire settled the kids in on the sofa by the fire. Once I got the candles lit and scattered about, the house took on a soft glow. Billy brought in firewood.
“The panel box is fine. The power’s just out, and I’m having trouble getting the generator going. And I can’t find the dogs,” he whispered in my ear. “I listened for their bark, but the hills are silent. The land does not move from their weight. There are no sounds, except the wind.”
When he talks like that, I know trouble is ahead. It’s that Indian thing again. I think it’s his way of calming himself.
“Where are my dogs, Billy?” I asked, fearing the worst.
“They are not here.”
Claire walked over to the kitchen table where we were standing, and began to place dishes on it.
“I’m sure everyt
hing’s fine, Jesse. Dogs like to run off and make us crazy. Why don’t I fix us something to eat?”
Was she senile or did she actually think my dogs would just run off in a freezing blizzard? The only conclusion I could come up with was that she was trying to calm me down. She knows how hyper I can get. What other explanation could there be for her ludicrous statement?
“Maybe they ran off into the woods. I’m sure Billy can find them.”
“I will find them,” Billy promised. He bundled up and went out the back door, flashlight in hand. “I’ll be back as soon as I do.”
“That’s a fine man you have there, Jesse,” Claire mumbled, scampering about the kitchen in the half-dark room. “I wish I had a man like that to care about me. You’re lucky.”
She went over and opened the refrigerator door, pulled out some food and threw together a meal of tuna fish sandwiches, chips and pickles. The kids were overjoyed.
I was worried about Billy. It had been thirty minutes since he had left the house. With the kind of temperatures we were up against, that could be devastating. Where was he? In the distance I heard a bark.
“They’re back!” I jumped up from the table. “Billy has found Athena and Thor! They’ve come home.”
Loud barks and the oncoming rush of two dogs finding their way home blasted into the house. Athena jumped up on the kitchen table and knocked off most of the food while Thor sat underneath, eating everything in sight that fell, his tail just a wagging.
The kids yelped in delight. They obviously thought it was so neat to have a big, hairy dog lick out of their plates, because they clapped and cheered on Athena. Thor couldn’t lick their faces fast enough. It was truly nasty. But everybody had a good laugh. I was just glad to have them home.
By nine o’clock, everyone’s belly was full. We were satisfied, and the dogs lay bloated by the fire. The house was warm as a hot camp fire on an even hotter summer’s night. Billy had secured the doors. We were locked down for the evening. Claire read bedtime stories to her kids by the light of the fire and the shadows of the candles. But as hard as I tried, I couldn’t shake the bad feeling that I had.
“Where did you find the dogs?” I asked Billy. I undressed and threw on my usual T-shirt-over-my-underwear garb. “Something’s not right. I know it. What happened out there?”
“I found the dogs in an old shed way back on the property. They were locked in from the outside. It was a deliberate act by someone.”
“How could that be? Who would do something like that? It was surely not anyone in your family, unless it was by accident.”
“No, they wouldn’t, not even by accident. They are much too careful. ” He looked at me with a frown on his face. “If any one of them had a problem with the dogs, they’d come to us. They wouldn’t do something like this. But someone has been here, again.”
“I’m just glad you found them. They could have frozen to death locked in that shed.” I pulled the covers back on the bed and jumped between the sheets. “Are you coming to bed?”
The last few days had yielded a total change in our relationship. Billy and I had gone from friends to lovers. It had happened so fast, yet it felt so right. I wanted to crawl in bed and just lay in the comfort of his arms and sleep next to him. In less than a month we would be getting married, and I was still trying to adjust to the idea of us being together. I really had jumped the gun this time. This can’t work. A week ago I was in love with Cole and now Billy and I were going to tie the knot. Where was my mind? Anxiety and uncertainty clouded my head. I had just slipped back into my world of doubt and fear. No! Not anymore. I was not going to let my insecurities rule my life. Billy and I had found something together, and no matter how strange it might seem, I was not going to let that slip away.
“I don’t know, Jesse,” Billy hesitated, standing beside the bed. “Maybe we shouldn’t sleep together with the kids here. We’re not married and it might set a bad example. I know they’re young, but kids pick up stuff.”
You had to love this man! He was always thinking of others. I’ve been so busy spending my life thinking of myself, that I haven’t had time to think about other people. I guess Claire was right about me... I had isolated myself. But I was going to change all that.
I crawled out of bed and walked over to Billy. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and stared into the endless depth of his eyes. I saw the heart of this man. He did love me. It was there in his eyes. I kissed him lightly on the lips.
“You’re an honorable man, Billy Blackhawk.”
“That’s why all the women love me,” he said. He thrust out his chest.
“My heart be still,” I said, making a hand-fluttering gesture.
Billy gently stroked the side of my face, brushing back my hair.
“You are so beautiful and I would love to stay, but I must leave you. I have things to attend to.” He turned to leave the room. “Claire lies on a pallet by the fire, keeping guard over her young ones on the couch. I will sleep upstairs. But first I will try to bring light back to our home.” His lips touched mine. “You must rest while I take care of my family.”
Something spooky must be going on. Billy had slipped back into his arcane speech pattern again. It frightened me.
“I’m scared, Billy,” I said, clinging to him. “You know something.” I stepped back. “What is it? I want the truth.”
“The truth is, something strange has been going on, and I’m going to find out what it is. People have trespassed on our land. You stay put and keep everybody safe. Let me handle this. The telephones are out, but the cell phones are working. Keep yours close by.”
“Where are you going?” I was in a panic.
“I’m going to try once more to get the generator started, and then I’m going to search the property. I won’t be far away. I just want to have a look around. Go ahead and go to bed. I won’t be long.”
I heard Billy close the utility room door as I lay back in the bed, pulling the covers up under my neck. Why was I letting him go out into the night without me? We were a team. I jumped out of bed, fumbled for the flashlight, then searched for my ski pants. I would need something warm to wear if I was to go out in this cold. Once dressed, I felt under the bed for my gun. It wasn’t there. I pointed the flashlight under the bed to aid in my search, but it was to no avail. The gun was gone. Hoping Billy had moved it to a safe place away from the kids, I tried not to think about the possibility that someone might have stolen it. That thought led me to the conclusion that there had been an intruder in our home. It had to be Laura Westover! She broke into Mom’s house so why not mine? There had to be a connection. She couldn’t find what she was looking for before she was run off so she came here. What is it that she thinks one of us has? The only thing I could think of was the picture Billy and I found at Roy’s house. What did a photo have to do with anything unless there was something in the photo that was incriminating? My curiosity piqued.
An oil lamp sat dimly burning on the kitchen table as the glow from the fireplace cast dancing shadows on the wall. I tiptoed into the living room to find my briefcase.
Claire and the kids were comfortably snuggled together on the sofa. Athena and Thor were stretched out on the bearskin rug. It was such a serene scene. Everything seemed peaceful.
Quietly, I opened the case, and much to my delight, my other gun was still there. A sigh of relief rushed from my lips.
With my courage back intact and my gun in hand, I eased out the back door into the darkness of the night. The snowstorm was in full swing. The wind howled through the trees as blinding flakes pounded my face. The flashlight was of little use. I couldn’t see a thing.
Where was Billy? He was supposed to be working on the generator. I took a couple of steps forward and realized I was wasting my time. Billy knew what he was doing, but I didn’t. I would never survive in this weather. I turned and headed back to the door. I had to get back inside. For just a second, I hesitated. I didn’t want to go back inside while Billy was st
ill out here alone, but I didn’t know what else to do. The weather was so bad that I knew I shouldn’t venture any further. I could easily get confused and wind up walking out into the woods. Then I would really be up the creek. I finally decided to go back inside. I turned and took a step forward.
A shot echoed through the trees, freezing me in my tracks. I screamed out Billy’s name. With tears streaming down my face, I groped for the door handle, forcing it open. Claire met me as I stumbled inside.
“Was that a shot I heard?” she asked, half-asleep. “What were you doing outside? Where’s Billy?”
I was hysterical by the time I finished explaining everything to her. I feared that Billy had been shot, and I had to do something to help him.
“I have to get to the cell phone and call him.”
I ran to the bedroom. In my rush to leave earlier, I’d left it on the box beside the bed, forgetting to take it with me. I snatched up the phone and headed back to the kitchen.
“Hold the flashlight while I call Billy.”
Claire took the light and held it over my head while I flipped open the phone and pushed the keyed number for Billy’s cell phone.
“God, please let him be all right,” I prayed out loud as I waited for an answer. “Come on, Billy, answer the phone.”
The line was clouded with static, but at least it still worked. The line rang one more time and then went dead. My heart flew up into my throat.
“Oh, no!” I cried. “The phone was ringing and then all of a sudden it died. It was as if someone had shut it off on purpose. Something’s wrong, Claire. I think Billy has been shot. There’s somebody else out there. I have to go back out and find Billy. He needs me.”
“Wait a minute,” Claire said. “We need to think this over.”
“What’s there to think over? I have to go.”
Claire reached out and put her hand on my shoulder. She squeezed it ever so lightly, just enough to get my full attention.
“I can’t let you do that, Jesse. I’m worried about Billy, too. But if I let you go out there, I would never forgive myself if something happened. It’s awful outside. The wind was so strong when I opened the door, it almost blew me down. I had to hold onto the handle. Please listen to me. We have to come up with another solution.”
