“It’s perfect,” she whispered, suddenly at a loss, overwhelmed by the fact that she was here. She looked up with a shaky, vulnerable smile. “Thank you, Tristan.”
He reached for her then, breaking her first rule, and she went into his arms willingly. She took another deep breath full of his scent, and let it out slowly, savoring the way she felt cradled against him. Then they broke her second rule. And her third.
But no one asked any questions.
17
“Well, look at you. Don't you look scrumptious with your hair all loose like that!” Renee held her door open for Nora, whose arms were full. “It's been ages since I saw you, Nora, dear.”
“Hi Renee. Actually, I was just here three weeks ago, remember?” Nora headed toward the dining room as Renee closed the door behind her. She spread her things out on the table and turned to face her exuberant client.
“Yes, but that was last year!” She laughed at her own childish joke, then squeezed Nora in greeting, her remarkably firm breasts between them making Nora feel slightly scandalized. “And you do look absolutely radiant. What’s gotten into you?”
“Thank you, Renee. I guess it’s just a new year, you know?”
“The new year? I don’t know about that. A new year for me usually just means it’s time for a new face-lift.” She laughed again, and offered Nora a drink.
“A glass of water would be great.” Nora started sorting through things while Renee filled two glasses with filtered water, then they sat, ready to pour over palettes, color charts, and fabric books.
“So what’s going on, Renee? You were in such a hurry the other day when you called. Is everything all right?”
“Well, my dear, I'm having you redecorate my bedroom. Does that give you any hint?” Renee gave her sultry look, her platinum Marilyn Monroe hairdo in fat, looping curls, adding to the effect. The last time Nora had been here, Renee was sporting Rita Hayworth hues. She did like those vintage glamour girls, that was obvious.
“Are you... getting married?” Nora could only hazard a guess.
“No, silly! Oh, all right. I’ll tell you. I've dropped Freddy like an old cigarette butt, and I want something fresh, fresh, fresh, something new, new, new. I want you to come up with something wild. Crazy!” She spread her hands in broad arching movements. “Something that feels free...but very expensive, if you know what I mean.”
“Wow. I'm a little surprised. Back in November you said you were in love. What happened?” She was teasing the woman; in the two years Renee had been a client, there’d been a whole string of men in her life. They came and went almost as regularly as her gardeners.
“Nora, Nora.” She said her name as though talking to a slow-witted child. “I was in love, darling. But it got old so quickly, this whole affair thing, especially since I had to share him with his family over the holidays. Now that was tough!” She shrugged. “Besides, I really do like Tanya, and I just felt so awkward all the time around her. No man is worth losing friends over, Nora. Don't ever let yourself get fooled into believing that lie.”
“I can't keep up with you.” Nora laughed, shaking her head. ”You're crazy, do you know that?”
“Exactly!” Renee clapped her hands together, clearly delighted by Nora’s comprehension skills. “And that's what I want my room to feel like. Impulsive. Crazy. Uninhibited. Wild.” She meowed like a jungle cat, ending the noise with a long purr. “I'm working on my animal magnetism.”
“You’re trying to attract animals?” Nora teased, wide-eyed and innocent.
“Stop it, you naughty thing! No, I'm sending out vibes for my own wild man, my own Tarzan, if you will. The silent, hungry type.” She bared her teeth in a seductive growl. “What do you think?”
“Would you like me to find you a four-poster bed with vines?”
“Well, my goodness, Nora! You're thinking like I am now. How am I supposed to shock and offend your delicate sensibilities when your mind is no purer than mine?” Renee stuck out a bottom lip in a pretty pout. “What’s become of you?”
Nora leaned toward the older woman and spoke in a soft, sultry tone of her own. “You want wild? I'll give you wild, Renee. You'll have Freddy replaced in no time.” Then she tossed her a confident, mischievous smile.
Renee stared at her, eyes narrowing. “Stand up.”
“What?” Caught off guard by the command, Nora froze.
“Stand up. Let me see you.” Renee waggled her hand in the air. “Turn around. All the way around.”
Bemused, Nora did as she was told.
“You look hot, Nora.” Renee crossed her arms over her ample chest. “You look really hot. You look like you're doing something you're not supposed to be doing. I've seen that look in my own mirror enough times to recognize it. What are you up to?”
“Oh please. Can’t a woman look hot just because she feels like it?” She felt the flush begin to creep up her chest and neck, and she knew Renee’s sharp eyes wouldn’t miss it.
“Ah. Answering a question with a question. The first line of defense when trying to avoid the truth. I watch television. That’s what all those lawyers say is a clear sign of guilt. Who is he?”
“Stop it, Renee. I'm not like....” Nora stopped, realizing what she was just about to say.
“Oh yes, you are. You're just like me. All women are. We’re all looking for someone, or something, who will make us feel alive. Who is he?”
“I don't know what you're talking about. Can we get back to business?” Nora pulled a fabric book toward her and began leafing through it. Renee came around the table and snatched the book out of her hands, sliding it down the table and out of reach.
“Does your husband know about him?”
Nora ignored her and picked up another fabric book.
“Oh my.” Renee put a hand on Nora's hand, stilling her movement. “Does he know about your husband?”
Silence filled the room. Renee stood beside her a long time, her hand pressing down on top of Nora's. Finally, Nora pulled her fingers out from under the other woman’s, her wedding band catching on one of the many rings on Renee’s fingers, and leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. She ran her tongue over her lips, her mouth suddenly dry. Renee sat down in the nearest chair.
“Do you have anyone to talk to, Nora? I know you're religious, and in light of that, you probably don't think I could possibly understand, but believe me, dear, whether it's religious, social, ethical, or just moral motivations, we all have rules that we feel compelled to follow. And when we break our own rules, well, it’s a little like falling off our personally-constructed foundations. I know all about it, and it can feel pretty unsettling.”
Nora managed to work up enough courage to look at her client. Renee’s fairly objective understanding of the situation was a bit of a surprise. The concern in her eyes was real, and for a moment, just a moment, Nora wondered if she could confide in her. To be able to talk to someone, anyone, who would listen without judging seemed so tempting. But only for a moment.
“Renee, I appreciate your friendship. As different as we are, I really care about you, and I know you care about me, too.”
“I do. Quite a bit, Nora, dear.” Renee’s vigorous nod made her bosom jiggle above the deep V of her neckline, and Nora couldn’t help smiling.
“And if I ever need someone to talk to, right now I can't think of anyone else I'd feel more comfortable with.”
Renee snorted and said, “Not sure if that's a compliment, but I'll take it anyway.”
“I just don't think I'm in need of that right now. I've been dealing with stuff in my marriage, and things aren’t great, but we seem to have arrived at some kind of a... a no-fight zone. At least there's stillness, if not peace.”
“And that's good enough for you?”
“Of course not. I long for peace, and so much. But I'm coming to grips with the probability that it may not come from Jake. At least not right now.”
“Are you sleeping together?” Of course she woul
d ask something so base.
“You mean in the same bed or sex?”
“Well. Aren't you direct?”
“The answer to both is yes. Fairly regularly. He’s not being denied his conjugal rights at any rate.”
“So this is Jake we’re talking about, right? But?”
“But what, Renee? This is way out of my comfort zone, especially with a client.” Nora began gathering her things together, realizing this meeting was headed in a completely different direction than she wanted to go.
“Let me see,” Renee went on as though Nora hadn’t spoken. “You were pink and perky a few minutes ago, like a schoolgirl in love. Then I brought up Jake, and now you're as gloomy as a storm cloud, and you're talking about making love with your husband like it's a chore. Things aren't lining up, that's what.”
Nora shrugged. “No, they're not lining up, Renee. But I'm tired of being the one to hold the loose ends together, so I'm letting go. If it all unravels, then so be it.”
“Is that what's happening?” Renee placed a soft hand on Nora’s forearm and leaned in. “It's unraveling?”
Nora smiled sadly. “We'll see.”
A painful quiet surrounded them for a few minutes, until finally, Renee spoke. “Listen, Nora, dear. Leave some stuff here for me to look through. You’re in no mood to come up with wild and crazy now, and I take full responsibility for it. Why don’t you go do a little shopping or something just for yourself, something that will lift your spirits a bit, okay?”
They agreed to meet again at the end of the week, and Nora stood, adjusting the strap of her purse over her shoulder. Renee hugged her warmly again, then poked her cheek with a finger.
“The new year, ha! You’ve had a face-lift, sugar pie. You’re in love.”
She had time. After the aborted meeting with Renee, she had time to surprise him before having to pick up the kids. She slowed down as she approached the exit, her heart racing. She could feel life flooding back into her veins, everything turning pink and perky again.
~ ~ ~
Jake knew that Nora was meeting with Renee again, fairly regularly these days. The woman was incessant with her demands on his wife's time, but Nora couldn't have asked for a better client. Renee was heavily involved with event committees for several different organizations, and she used Nora’s decorating services almost exclusively. He didn't like that she drove so far for a client, but he also knew that Renee changed her mind often, and she had the bank accounts to fund those changes. That meant that Nora would go the distance, quite literally, to keep her happy.
He also knew that his wife was exhausted. They’d barely survived the holidays, hardly seeing each other at all up until Christmas Eve, but Nora always took the week off between Christmas and New Year to catch up on some much-needed rest and family time, and this year she did the same. Unfortunately, she spent much of that week taking care of things around the house, catching up with friends she hadn’t visited with in too long, and shopping non-stop, something she usually loathed, especially during the after-holiday sales. He didn’t want to admit it, but he wondered if she was purposely filling her days in order to avoid spending time with him.
As soon as January 2nd rolled around, however, she jumped back into work with a frenzy that hadn’t let up yet. There were days when she'd come home, spend time with the kids, cook the evening meal, and clean up the kitchen, all on auto-pilot, her mind a million miles away. She didn't seem sad anymore, he realized, but she seemed more distracted than ever.
And she’d started going back to her office after the kids were in bed again, sometimes not coming home until the wee hours of the morning. She'd slip in bed beside him, trying not to disturb him, then she’d lie there wide awake for some time. Usually, he rolled over and pulled her close, and she came willingly, if not enthusiastically. Her long hours wore her out, but she rarely refused to participate in making love with him. After so many years, they knew how to please each other, and they both seemed to gain mutual satisfaction out of the release. He'd curl around her and drift off to the sound of her shallow, restless breathing.
Jake didn't know if things were better between them or worse. They seemed to have come to a truce of sorts, and he was glad for the reprieve. But really, they'd resolved nothing. She still did most things involving the house and the children, and he still struggled to stay busy with work. They just no longer argued about either one. Was she simply resigned to his incompetence? Or was she trying to help him by freeing him up? He didn’t really want to know the answer to that question, so he didn’t ask.
The weather had warmed up considerably for March, even for Southern California, and between sporadic showers and brilliant sunshine, spring was in full swing. Jake felt a sense of hope as he looked out his office window onto Nora’s little rose garden in the back yard. The bushes were well-established; she’d planted one for each family when they moved in, then added new ones to commemorate different special occasions over the years. Leslie’s rose had petals of apricot swirled with red, Felix’ was a green rose she’d found at a local family-owned nursery. Nora planted a climbing rose called ‘Jacob’s Ladder’ for him at the entrance to her little garden, and it vined up and over a trellised archway. She used to tell him he was like that rose, covering them, guarding their lives with his own. There was a different rose bush planted for each anniversary they’d spent here, and every one of them was a different color. Nora’s favorite rose was called ‘Peace’ and there were several of them planted intermittently among the others. He like to see them blooming because it made him think of her wandering through the garden of their memories together.
His phone rang and he smiled, recognizing the special ringtone he’d assigned to Nora. Maybe she’d sensed he’d been thinking about her. “Hey.” He answered casually, but his pulse quickened.
“Hi, Jake. Look, I have to meet my iron guy out at Renee’s this afternoon. Are you going to be around? I need a favor.”
Did she want him to go with her? Did she need help assembling or mounting pieces? There was a time when she borrowed his muscles on a regular basis, but it had been months since her last request. Maybe things were getting better. “Absolutely, Nor. How can I help?”
“Well, it may take a while because I need to oversee the project. We’re hanging a huge chandelier in her front entry, and it needs to be done right. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you don’t have any plans for the afternoon. I need to drop the kids off with you after school.”
Jake tried not to let his disappointment seep into his words as he replied, “That’s not a favor, Nora. They’re my kids, too. Of course I’ll be here, especially if it will help you out.” He tried desperately to hold his tongue, but the words forced themselves out anyway. “Are you sure you don’t need any help with the chandelier? I’m at your beck and call, you know.”
There was an awkward pause, and Jake closed his eyes, wishing he could scoop the words up and shove them back in his mouth. He sounded needy even to his own ears, and he was sure she was hearing the same thing. “Never mind. Forget I asked. I’m here. Do you want me to pick them up, too? Would that help?”
“No. I’ll pick them up. That way I’ll still get to see them this afternoon. I may not be back until late this evening. Once it’s hung, all the crystals have to be put up, and Renee is insisting I oversee that as well. There are hundreds of them, Jake. It could be a late night.”
“Will you be home in time to eat dinner with us?”
“I’m not counting on it. That’s why I called it a favor. You’ve got to do it all tonight. I may not even be back before their bedtime, so you might get stuck doing that on your own, too.” Her voice sounded tight, like she was upset by his question. What was wrong with asking her if she’d be home for dinner? “Is that okay, Jake?” she asked, when he didn’t respond immediately.
It wasn’t okay, but he didn’t say so. She rarely left him with the children while they were awake, so he was already thinking of ways to make the afterno
on and evening special for the three of them. He just wished he could plan a special evening for all four of them. He imagined her sharing a meal with the bawdy Renee and a bunch of muscled iron-workers, and scowled. It was definitely not okay with him.
“I almost wish we were fighting again,” he muttered to himself after he said goodbye. “At least I’d know better what she was thinking.” He glanced over at his untouched Bible where it was being used as a paperweight for a stack of leftover door-hangers he’d purchased to advertise his services in some of the nearby housing developments. The book that had once beckoned him, when he was a new believer, inviting him into a conversation with God. Reaching out, he ran his palm over the leather cover, his fingers tracing the lettering that spelled out ‘Holy Bible’, leaving trails in the dust that had collected there. Guilt made his stomach clench slightly, and he picked it up, wiping the cover clean with the hem of his shirt. “You got something for me today?” He asked the question quietly, not really expecting an answer.
Opening it to the page marked by a black ribbon, he skimmed through a couple chapters in Galatians until he came to a verse that practically leapt off the page at him. “Let us not lose heart in doing good,” he read aloud. “For in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.”
He rested his head against the back of his cushioned office chair, and spun slowly, his eyes fixed on the recessed light above his head. “Well, that’s what I’m doing, God. I’m doing good to Nora. But shouldn’t she be doing the same to me? Shouldn’t she be here doing good to me tonight?” Then his thoughts honed in on the last words of the passage. Do not grow weary. Do not grow weary. Had Nora grown weary? Was that it? Was she weary of him?
Jake leapt up, his chair rolling away from him across the plastic chair mat, and he grabbed it to keep it from tipping over once it bumped up against the edge of the carpet. He wasn’t willing to focus too long on that thought. He would be ready for her when she came home tonight. He would ask how her day had been, he would help her unload her car, he would be kind, considerate, and sensitive to her needs, and most importantly, he would be awake. He would not let himself grow weary.
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