by Robyn M Ryan
“You don’t know that, Caryn.”
“Do you?” She met his eyes steadily, trying to read the truth.
“Yeah, I do know,” Andrew shot back, anger spiking his words. “Our relationship was toxic. It was just a matter of time before we self-destructed. Do you honestly think I would have spent all summer with you if I was involved with someone else?”
“Before yesterday? No, I wouldn’t think you would.”
“So Monique shows up, fills your head with lies, and you believe her and not me? Enough that you’ve been dodging me for more than a day?”
“I don’t know what to think,” Caryn said softly, her eyes on her hands.
“And refusing to talk helps you, how?”
She cringed at his tone. “I’m angry, hurt and confused. I need time to think.” She looked at him, trying to read his expression. He stepped toward her, stopping just a few feet away, causing her to lean back against the counter to see his eyes.
“Do you trust me, Cary?”
She closed her eyes for a long moment. “I want to, Drew.”
He nodded, and then reached to tuck some hair behind her ear. “Please listen carefully to what I am going to say, Cary. Then you take all the time you need to decide if you trust me. I am not involved with Monique. The only feelings I have when I think about her is regret that I wasted two years on a relationship we both knew was not healthy. I don’t care if she wants to see me or not. I made it clear to her yesterday that I am not interested. If you want to know anything about the time we spent together, ask me. I’ll answer any questions you have about Monique or any girl I’ve ever been with. I’m not proud of how I handled myself when I was younger. But, when I asked you to be my girl, I wasn’t kidding around with you. I meant it. I want us to be together—like we were all summer—and see where we go from here. I have not cheated on you. I will not cheat on you. As long as we are a couple, I expect both of us to respect the relationship.” He shrugged as he lightly dragged his fingers along her chin. “Any questions I can answer now?”
She shook her head. “Do you want to ask me anything?”
“Why have you been dodging me?”
“It was the only thing I could think to do.” She blinked quickly to hold back the tears. “I need time to process everything.”
Andrew nodded. “Is there anyone who’s going to show up on my doorstep looking for a fight because he thinks you’re cheating on him?” A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
Despite her anger, Caryn laughed softly. “No, I can promise you that. I don’t have that much to tell about previous relationships, but you can ask.”
“No questions at the moment.” He leaned to press his lips against the top of her head. “Take your time, Cary. I know you’ve had a lot thrown at you. Think things through. When you’re sure you know what you want, give me a call.” She started to speak, but he pressed his finger against her lips. “Not now. Get some sleep. I’ll wait as long as you need to figure things out.”
He reached into his pocket and laid a ticket on the counter. “Home opener day after tomorrow. If you want to go, Tom will pick you up. Just send him a text. You don’t have to talk with me until you’re ready. No strings attached.” His smile was wry.
A glimmer of hope sparked within Caryn, but she tried to tap it down. Maybe. Just maybe. But, was she ready to risk her heart again?
***
Andrew opened the front door to leave just as Lauren had reached for the knob, her hands full.
“Oh, hi, you must be Andrew,” she sputtered, clearly flustered to see him. “I’m Caryn’s friend, Lauren. I didn’t know you were here.”
“I didn’t mean to startle you. Can I help you with that?”
“I’m fine. I’m just dropping off some notes and a care package from the study group.” She looked at him with a smile. “I probably should have called first.”
Andrew stepped aside. “I’m on my way out. Caryn’s in the kitchen.”
“Oh, good, she’s up and about. I was afraid she’d wind up with a full-blown migraine.” Lauren’s voice was soft. “Kevin’s mom made chicken soup—says it cures everything.”
Andrew nodded with a smile. “So does my mom. She’ll be glad to see you.” He closed the door behind him and leaned against it for a moment as he processed Lauren’s words. Had she been staying in, skipping class because she didn’t want to see him? Or was something else going on? Migraine?
He thought again about her appearance. She was pale; some dark circles under her eyes. He hadn’t paid much attention because of his mission to clear the air. Maybe this wasn’t all about Monique? Or all about me. He was tempted to go back inside, but stopped himself as he reached for the doorknob. No, he’d told her he’d give her time. If she needed him, she’d call. Besides, Lauren seemed to have everything under control. He’d wait for her to contact him.
***
Lauren set the parcels on the counter and hugged Caryn. “Are you feeling better? I didn’t know Andrew was here taking care of you. Hope you don’t mind I introduced myself. Girl, you are so lucky. Didn’t he just get back in town?”
Caryn smiled as she peeked into the bag on the counter. “Real home-made chicken soup?”
“Cures everything, you know.” Lauren reached into the cabinet for a bowl. “Sit down. I’ll heat this up. I bet you haven’t had anything to eat.”
“I’m okay. The headache’s gone.” Caryn sat down anyway. “Thanks for bringing all the notes. I’ve got to make up that accounting pop quiz I missed.”
“I spoke with the professor. He said to reschedule whenever.” Lauren set the bowl of soup before her and handed Caryn a spoon. “Eat. I have some saltines, too.”
“Sit down, Lauren. Have something to eat or drink.” Caryn watched as her friend grabbed a Diet Coke from the refrigerator before taking the seat opposite hers. “You’re a good friend, you know?”
Lauren grinned as she opened the bottle. “I try. I was really worried when you didn’t come to study group and we couldn’t reach you. Then missing class today. If you hadn’t texted me, I’d probably have called the paramedics. If I’d known Andrew was here, I wouldn’t have freaked out.”
“I’m sorry. I just turned off the phone and slept almost twenty-four hours.”
“One of those killer migraines? Do you know what triggered it? Did Andrew take care of you?”
Caryn laughed softly at her friend’s non-stop energy. “Luckily it never advanced to a full-blown migraine. If it did, I slept through it anyway. I have an idea what caused it, and no, Andrew did not take care of me.”
“But I just ran into him on my way in.”
“He’d just stopped by. It’s a long story, Lauren. I’m not sure I’m up to talking about it.” She savored another spoonful of soup. “Kevin’s mom?”
“Of course. We’re lucky she lives here. Can’t even count the number of times she’s made a batch for one of us. Best medicine for whatever ails you.”
“Even a broken heart?” Caryn’s voice was soft.
Lauren did a double take. “Whoa! What are you talking about? Did you break up with Andrew? Is that the long story?”
Caryn nodded. “I’m not sure we broke up. I just need time to think.”
“I’m listening.” Lauren stood up and prepared a bowl of soup for herself. “Take your time, Caryn. Tell me what you can. Do I need to get the guys to go beat Andrew up?”
That thought forced a laugh from Caryn. “Like they would. They’d be too busy tripping over themselves trying to get tickets.”
“Well, I can throw a pretty mean right hook.”
“Not necessary.” Caryn laughed again, realizing that her friend had lifted the dark clouds that had filled her mind ever since she’d opened the door to see Monique. “You sure you want to hear this?” Lauren’s look delivered her answer. “It’s complicated.”
“Relationships usually are.”
“This could take a while,” Caryn warned.
Lauren shrugged. “I’ve got nothing on my agenda for the rest of the day. Talk to me, Caryn.”
THIRTEEN
Tom looked at his brother in surprise after Andrew briefly recounted his conversation with Caryn. Since Tom had a couple hours before he reported to the hospital for his shift, they met for lunch at a popular bistro near campus. After listening to his brother, pediatrics didn’t feel so complicated.
“So Monique did a real number with Caryn’s mind. Are you at all surprised?” He watched as Andrew shrugged, popping a fry into his mouth.
“About Monique, no, not surprised at all. Except that she left her Swiss lover and actually thought I’d give her another chance. That will never happen. Her boyfriend probably saw through her and kicked her out. I’ll give him credit—he figured her out long before I ever did.”
“She cheated on you with him. He knew that going in. What about Caryn? Does her reaction surprise you?”
“Yeah, it does. She has every reason to want some answers and to feel angry. But dodging me for as long as she has? I never thought she wouldn’t want to hear what I had to say. If I hadn’t gone by there, she’d still be avoiding me.” Tom saw the flash of anger cross his face. “And to hear her say she doesn’t know if she trusts me… ‘I want to trust you’ were her exact words…I thought we knew each other better than that.”
“You want me to talk to her? I had plenty of run-ins with Monique.”
“I wish I’d known that while she and I were together, Tom. But no, I told Caryn to take all the time she needs. I’ll answer any questions. I can wait. I left a ticket for the home opener game. She’s supposed to call or text you if she decides to go. You don’t mind?”
“Of course not. I figured I’m handling chauffeur duties this season anyway.” Tom finished his sandwich and pushed the plate aside. “You said Lauren mentioned a migraine. Are you sure that’s not the reason you couldn’t get in touch with her?”
His brother’s eyes locked on his. “Right now, the only thing I’m sure of is that when we get through, I’m heading over to the arena to get on the ice and practice my slap shot.”
Tom chuckled. “Wish I could have a radar gun on your shots. You’re going to blast them through the net.”
***
After his shift the following day, Tom impulsively stopped by Caryn’s townhouse. He remembered what Andrew had said about him not talking with her, but Tom wanted to be sure the migraine was totally gone. He rapped on the door and saw the surprise register on her face when Caryn opened it.
“Tom, hi.”
“You have a few minutes?”
Caryn nodded, then stepped back so he could enter. “Do you want some water or a Coke?”
“Coke sounds good, if it’s no trouble.”
Caryn shook her head. “Not at all.”
He followed her to the kitchen. “By the way Andrew doesn’t know I’m here.”
“Okay.” Caryn dragged out the word as she handed the bottle to him. “Have a seat.” She nodded toward the table, picked up her water bottle and moved aside her homework for the day.
“You feeling better, the migraine?”
“I’m good. It never got to that point. Wait, how did you know about that?” Caryn eyed Tom with suspicion.
“I think Lauren said something to Andrew when he was leaving.”
Caryn nodded, absorbing the information. So why isn’t Drew checking on me if he thinks I had a migraine? She made a mental note to question Lauren about that interaction.
Tom tried to read her expression. “The doctor in me insisted I stop by on my way home from the hospital.”
“So you’re going to be a doctor who actually makes house calls?”
“If I can. At least for family and friends.” He met her eyes, noting the redness and the pallor of her skin. “Is the headache gone?”
“More or less. Just a dull ache from time to time. I’ll be okay.”
“Do you get migraines often?”
“No, thank God. Usually just when I’m over-stressed or trying to get by with too little sleep.” She met Tom’s eyes with a small smile and a shrug. “My mom gets them fairly often and much more severe, so I’m lucky.”
“You have medication?”
“Sure, but I hate the way it makes me feel. I usually get by with Advil.” Caryn looked at Tom, curiosity causing the corners of her mouth to lift. “So, do I pass your tests, Dr. Chadwick?”
“Yep, I think so. Listen, you can tell me to butt out, but I had enough run-ins with Monique to give me massive migraines. Luckily, a beer usually took away the edge for me.”
Caryn looked at him in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“We never got along. She was jealous of anyone Andrew spent time with besides her. She knew I saw through her. She’s a bitch, Caryn. I learned a long time ago not to pay any attention to her.”
“That must have been hard for you.”
“Well, I tried to hide my feelings from Andrew, at least until he broke it off. I figured if he could put up with her, so could I. And I think Mom and Dad felt the same way, even though they’d never say anything.”
“She’s so…so stunning,” Caryn said. “They had to make a beautiful couple—she’s so tall and dark and gorgeous and Drew’s so…” her voice trailed off.
“Yeah, she stunning all right…I never cease to be stunned by the extent of her egotism, thoughtlessness, and demands. Whatever she said to you the other day had to set a new low, even for her.”
Caryn shrugged. “She’s very believable.”
“Yeah, that’s why she’s so evil. You’re in her way and if she can scare you off, she probably thinks Andrew will give her another chance.” Tom tried to modulate the anger in his voice.
Her amber eyes met his. “He may do that.”
“Not a chance. I know my brother is far from perfect, but I also know that he does not lie and when he says he’s done with Monique—which he told me last May—I believe him. I don’t know what he said to you, but I can guarantee it was the truth.” Tom finished his drink and pushed back from the table. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, Caryn. I just wanted to tell you about my experiences with the dragon lady. As your honorary big brother, of course.” Tom smiled as Caryn actually giggled. “You sure you’ve got that headache under control?” he asked as he stood.
“I do. One more good night’s sleep and I should be back to my usual happy, though clueless, self.”
Tom gave her a brotherly hug as she walked him to the door. “You’ll let me know if you want to go to the game tomorrow? We’ll need to leave a couple hours before game time. Opening night usually is a zoo.”
“I will,” she said. “Thanks, Tom. For everything.”
“See you later, little sister.”
***
More conflicted than ever, Caryn resolved to put all thoughts of Andrew aside and concentrate on her homework. She hoped the accounting professor would allow her to take the upcoming test after the next session with the study group. She could use Bill’s help in reviewing the material. Right now she wasn’t sure she knew the difference between a debit and a credit. Usually it turned out exactly the opposite from what she thought, but as she looked at the material her brain felt like mush.
She grabbed her Organizational Management text. This she could handle even with a muddled brain. Management just made sense to her. It involved people, not numbers, and she enjoyed learning the different management philosophies. Caryn liked setting goals and the accountability attached to each. If her dad gave her a choice, she’d start her career with The Stevens Company in some management capacity. If she could find a management internship, she would enjoy it so much more than anything related to auditing or statistics.
She picked up her iPad and logged into the student portal, checking the current postings for internship opportunities. Nada. Well, she had plenty of time. She forced herself to complete her assignments, blocking her mind to anything else. The notes Lauren brought helped i
mmensely. She’d think of something special for Lauren after all she did for her.
She glanced at the clock as she packed her books in her backpack. Was it really after eleven? Caryn didn’t feel tired, but she needed to get up extra-early to check in with the professors whose classes she’d missed. Maybe if she read a while, she’d grow sleepy. She locked up, picked up a bottle of water, turned off the lights and headed for the loft—her retreat. Curling up on the love seat, she glanced at the list of books on her iPad, but nothing appealed to her. She could always download a steamy romance for escape, but as she scanned the titles, nothing caught her eye. So, time for Plan B. Tub of hot water, lavender bath beads, and her favorite music playing on the iPad.
Caryn lay back in the tub, the aromatherapy relaxing her mind as well as her body. She had set her playlist to shuffle and just let the music wash over here. Her mind finally blanked, the barrage of worries, questions, and indecision vanishing as she sank lower in the water. Her escape. Finally.
***
Caryn felt like a new person when her alarm roused her early the next morning. Her mind clear, no lingering throb, she felt ready to tackle the day. Two days in hibernation—done. As she grabbed an energy bar in the kitchen, her eyes fell on the ticket Andrew had left on the counter. She’d forgotten it was opening night for the Leafs, a day she’d eagerly awaited through training camp and the long European trip. Go to the game tonight? Not sure I’m ready to talk with Drew. He said I didn’t have to see him after the game, but still… She slipped on her coat and grasped her backpack. She’d decide later, after classes.
Midway through her first class, Caryn knew she might as well have stayed home. She took notes, but her mind stayed focused on Andrew, on what he had told her yesterday. Why am I so quick to believe something a stranger tells me and then refuse to even listen to Drew? Do I really believe he was just hanging out with me for the summer? Lying by omission about his relationship with Monique? Is Andrew that kind of man? Really, do I believe that?
