by E. J. Noyes
The previous reading taken less than an hour ago that was abso-fucking-lutely perfect? “There’s nothing indicated and I see no need to check it again, and so soon. If you’re concerned about his earlier perfectly normal temperature reading, then maybe you or Eleanor could take another and if it’s anything outside the range of ninety-nine to one-hundred-one-point-five, then I’ll be in his stall faster than you can say fever.”
“But—”
“Dakota, there’s no real reason to take the temperature of a horse that’s displayed no signs of illness and again, had a perfectly normal temperature reading less than an hour ago.”
She pouted at me and I was sure she thought the expression would change my mind. It did anything but. “Yes but Pierre is—”
“One of five horses under my care who are all equally important. Including the reserve,” I added when she opened her mouth to give what I knew was a spiel about Pierre, The Only Horse On The Planet Who Mattered. A few nights ago she’d been on a call outside the stalls, which meant I’d overheard her mouthing off about the other three core horse and rider combinations, as well as the reserve horse and rider combo.
All the combinations absolutely deserved to be on the team but it burned to say they were all equal. Technically, I supposed they were equal. But the biased, and also realistic, part of me knew Dewey and Caitlyn outshone the rest of the team like she was a supernova and they were dying stars. But despite how I felt about Caitlyn, I wouldn’t let anything skew my treatment of the other horses who weren’t Dewey. Just because I had a raging crush on Caitlyn and wanted nothing more than to spend all of my time with her didn’t mean the horses should get anything less than the best.
Dakota still hadn’t responded. I raised my eyebrows at her and when she still didn’t answer, smiled and said, “If you’ll excuse me, I’m in the middle of cooking dinner. If you get a reading outside those limits I just mentioned, come back and I’ll come right out and see him.”
She offered a grudging, “Sure.” She really was a caricature of the spoiled rich girl used to getting everything she asked for the moment she asked for it.
“Great. I’ll see you in the morning.” Because I was certain if she bothered checking the horse’s temperature, it would be perfectly fine.
The knock at my door at a quarter to eight interrupted me washing up, which wasn’t exactly a bad thing, but still set my pissed-off gauge to seven out of ten. What in the everlovin’ name of Christ could Dakota Turner possibly want from me now? I was all for caution. All for covering all the bases. But given how long I’d been vetting, and the time I’d spent with these horses, I knew the only thing wrong with Pierre was his rider.
Calm blue oceans. Kittens. Dirty martinis. I threw middle fingers at the closed door in a childish attempt to make myself feel better then flung the door open, smoothing my expression to one of calm tranquility. I’d had oodles of practice at forcing my face to wear an expression that wasn’t how I was feeling.
The person on my doorstep was definitely not Dakota.
Caitlyn offered a shy smile along with an awkward wave. “Hey. Sorry to interrupt your evening.”
“You’re not interrupting at all.” Before my brain engaged, I blurted, “I thought you weren’t you. I gave you double birds from behind the door. Sorry.”
Her eyebrows bounced upward. “Oh. Well, I’m sure whoever you meant the middle fingers for deserved them.” The shy smile turned sly. “So who was it?”
I hedged. “I probably shouldn’t say.” Dakota. Dakota. Dakota.
She studied me, her expression calm and watchful the way it got when she was turning something over before she spoke. It made me feel like she was somehow pulling the answer out of my head, and I tried to look as neutral as possible, not like a veterinarian who had an annoying client. The corners of her mouth edged up in a cheeky smile. Caitlyn leaned in so she was inches away and whispered, “I’m pretty sure there’s only one person around here who inspires that kind of response. Does your problem rhyme with Takota Durner?”
I let out a breath that sounded like a gurgly kind of choking sound. “Can I plead vet-client confidentiality?”
“You can, but your expression says everything.” She leaned against the exterior wall, arms folded over her breasts. “It’s fine. I’ve known her for a while and, yeah…I’m sorry for your pain.” She grinned. “But it’ll be over after Rio and then you never have to think about her again. Until maybe the World Equestrian Games.”
“I hope so,” I mumbled. “I’m just trying to give everyone the same treatment, keep everyone on the team happy and their horses healthy, but it seems she thinks team is spelled with me.”
“T-E-M-E?” Caitlyn laughed. “Sounds right.”
“Look, could we just forget I said anything about it?” I sounded like a strangled goat. “Total professionalism fail.”
“You didn’t say anything, not really. I prodded until you answered.”
“True. But still.” I cleared my throat. “You wanna come in?”
“Please. I didn’t come here to admire the paint job.” She peered at the wall. “Though it’s quite nice.”
Laughing, I ushered her inside. Her seeing my mess didn’t bother me as it would for anyone else visiting. “How’re you and Wren coping in the truck?”
“It’s fine. We’re used to sharing small living spaces when we’re competing, though she keeps making noises about how much she’s going to enjoy some personal space in Rio.”
“If either of you ever want some time apart then feel free to use this place. I’m not in here much, too busy working.” I grinned. “You riders are busting my butt.”
“I’m pretty sure your butt’s fine.” She leaned backward as if checking. “Mhmm, it sure is. And sorry to keep you busy. If it’s any consolation, we’re all busy.”
I fought down a blush at the butt-check. “It’s fine, seriously. I was teasing. This kind of work is a five-star vacation.”
“Ah, so you should be thanking me.”
Laughing, I said, “I suppose I should.” I indicated she should take a seat wherever she could find a spot.
She declined my offer of a drink and settled on the two-seater, shuffling to the side to make room for me. Everything in this space was cozy and comfortable, but tiny, and no matter how I sat on the couch we were right in each other’s space. After a few moments of deliberation, I gave up trying to arrange myself and just sat comfortably. “You do get some downtime, right? Have you been out exploring? I’ve seen a little of the country, but I’d love to come back sometime to take a real vacation.”
She nodded. “Yeah I do get breaks, like five minutes here and there, but I’ve never been one for vacations or sightseeing so it doesn’t bother me.”
“No? Why not?”
“Time mostly.” Shrugging, Caitlyn added, “And sitting on a beach or at some fancy resort drinking by myself doesn’t hold much appeal. I think I spend enough time away to trick my brain into thinking I’m vacationing. Plus there’s always horses back home needing to be trained which gives me a dose of the guilts thinking about taking time off. I’m sure I’m the only one who’s not going to hang around for the closing ceremony.”
“Really? I thought you were a certified introvert so shouldn’t a vacation alone appeal?”
Thankfully she seemed to have taken it in the joking manner I’d tried for, smiling as she answered, “Introvert, yes. Hermit, no. I make my employees take time off but when it comes to me I just can’t do it. Feel too guilty.”
“I feel guilty about days off doing nothing after I’ve had a weekend on call,” I blurted in a clumsy attempt to maybe make her feel more at ease. “But I’m usually so wrecked I can’t do anything but sleep and lounge around the house, despite my self-assurances that I’m definitely going to do housework, or cook, or learn a language or something.” I touched her shoulder, relieved when she didn’t recoil, and considered leaving my hand there. After a moment more of consideration, I pulled it away
. “I think we do what we need to in order to live in a way that’s comfortable.”
“I suppose you’re right.” She shuffled backward on the couch and crossed her legs.
I peeked at those legs. Mmm and hmm. “So, what can I do for you? Given I checked on Sir Dewey two hours ago, and he was happily swinging that poor rubber cat around, I have to assume you’re not here to chat about him.”
“No, I’m not. And yeah, he’s fine. We’re all fine.” Despite the verbal acknowledgment, she didn’t seem fine exactly. Not un-fine, but…on edge.
“Hey,” I murmured. “What’s up? Are you really okay?”
“Yeah. I am, really,” she added at my raised eyebrows. “I’m okay, but confused,” Caitlyn clarified.
Clearly she wanted to discuss this confusion, so I didn’t hesitate to ask, “How so?”
Her fingers played with the hem of her tee, twisting it around, picking at it. After a long pause she said, “I’m starting to feel like I’ve missed out on a lot in my pursuit of a dressage career. In my personal life, that is. I’ve never had that feeling before and it’s kind of freaking me out feeling it now. I know where it’s come from, but it doesn’t make sense when you and I aren’t even, you know. Together.”
“Feeling what exactly?” I knew what I felt—a crushy kind of physical, mental, and emotional attraction with a healthy dose of lust on top. And I was sure she felt something along those lines.
Caitlyn wilted like a kid asked to stand up and read their assignment in front of the class. “Don’t you know? Do I really have to try to find words for…this?” Her expression was pure Help a gal out.
She looked so adorably panicked and so earnest that the fun-loving part of me wanted to tease and draw her discomfort out. Just like I would have done as a kid. Just the way that’d upset her then. I shoved that idea aside and went full adult. “Words for what seems to me to be a strong mutual attraction developing between us?”
She exhaled. “Right. I think those are the words.”
I smiled, trying to seem casual. “There’s no pressure here, Caitlyn. No expectations, just seeing what’s happening, right? I mean, we haven’t even kissed. All this…whatever it is we’re feeling could end up being a no-physical-attraction dud.”
“That’s a good point,” Caitlyn murmured. She moved so quickly I would have been startled if I wasn’t already in the “A kiss is happening very soon FOR SURE” mindset. Her hands moved to my waist, pulling me toward her. She lingered, her thumbs gently massaging my waist and as our eyes locked, she dipped her head to brush her nose against mine. Barely a heartbeat passed, and she kissed me. No hesitation. Soft at first, quiet and calm, as though testing if we fit together.
I knew we fit. I’d felt it the moment her lips had brushed mine as a sort of acceptance or rightness or whatever the hell people called it. It didn’t matter what it was called, I just knew that kissing Caitlyn, having her hands stroking up and down my sides, my hands cupping her jaw made my pulse race and my stomach flutter and my…you get the picture. Along with the pleasurable sensation of a damned good kiss was an unexpected rush of emotion that we’d found this place together, finally.
There was a sweet tentativeness about her and I mustered all of my self-control to keep from pulling her on top of me, taking over and deepening the kiss. As much as I wanted to stroke my tongue against hers, to open my mouth and let her in, I also wanted Caitlyn to lead. My feelings had been simmering for over twenty years and I was certain of them. I needed her to be certain too.
The gentle, unhurried kiss built like kindling taking its time to light. Slow, slow and then fast. She groaned and I felt her lips part. I paused, waiting a heartbeat until the tip of her tongue slid over my lower lip. Felt like certainty to me. I clutched handfuls of her top, holding her close as her tongue lightly explored and found mine. If I’d realized this was what my first kiss with Caitlyn would be like, I probably would have made a move twenty-something years ago.
She smiled against my lips, then murmured, “It’s really not a dud.”
“Nope.” After a shaky inhalation I felt somewhat composed. Or at least composed enough to ask, “What do we do about this not-dud then?”
Her answer was to kiss me again. And again. And again.
Chapter Fifteen
Caitlyn
After almost four intensive weeks, I felt like Dewey and I were set to peak at the Olympics with both our training and fitness. The other team members were similarly on target, with the exception of Dakota and Pierre who, at the start of the week, had troughed with their canter pirouettes. Pierre had been refusing to perform the movement and instead of pirouettes he got tighter and tighter in the back and neck and then stopped dead in the arena, despite Dakota and Ian’s best efforts.
And Addie and I…well, we were existing in a kind of state that was neither peaking or troughing. Between riding, workouts, countless team meetings, uniform fittings, and managing my social media I barely had time to eat and sleep, let alone find time to spend time alone with Addie. She looked frazzled most days, and with trying to figure out if Pierre’s training issues were physical, she was as busy as me. The fact we were both busy, that that was the reason we were struggling to find time and not that she regretted our quiet admission of our attraction to one another and our not-so-quiet kiss, made me feel better.
We’d still managed to find occasional moments to talk, or just hang out somewhere semi-private for ten minutes where she’d help me work on the stash of Blow Pops. Sometimes, but not sometimes enough, we checked again to make sure our attraction wasn’t a dud and always found mutual agreement that nope, it was real. Addie kissed like kissing me was the most important thing in the world—a slow soft balance of lips and tongue, hands on my hips with fingers massaging, or on my face gently caressing. And every time we parted, she’d make the same sound of regret and satisfaction rolled into a moany sigh that made my stomach muscles tighten.
More than anything it felt like we were tiptoeing around, trying to find some neutral territory where we weren’t three seconds from a hot make-out session. But with every passing day, the tiptoeing felt more and more like stomping. Something seemed inevitable but I had no idea what that something would be. I knew what I wanted it to be—the obvious progression to intimacy—but what might come after that was equal parts terrifying and exciting. After an eternity of consideration, I weighed up my fears and decided intimacy and all that came after was far preferable to no intimacy.
If I could make it through the final team dinner tonight then I might suggest we spend some time alone together afterward. The compulsory weekly team-bonding dinners had mostly had the desired effect. As much as Dakota could be called a team player that is. Dressage was an odd sport, where the definition of team results was actually your individual results counting toward your country’s team tally. That mindset often made team cohesion tricky.
The first three dinners had been at small local restaurants, and this fourth and final one before we flew to Brazil in two days was somewhere fancy. I hoped the one good dress and heels I’d packed almost two months ago were suitable for fine dining. Mary ordered cars for us all and I’d heard them leave one by one as I readied myself and panicked about my dress, my makeup, my hair and if Addie would like what I was wearing. All those important things.
Wren finally told me to get on with it and herded me into the car. She jumped out as soon as it was stationary, mumbling something about needing a drink or five. The moment my feet were on the sidewalk I noticed Addie exiting the car in front.
Oh boy.
Her black cocktail dress looked like it’d been painted on. It dipped tastefully low to show a hint of cleavage that had me desperate to see the rest and clung to a body full of delicious curves. Instead of being up in its usual ponytail or braid, her hair fell loose almost to her shoulders in a shiny, straight curtain of red-brown. If I hadn’t spent so long staring at her over the past few months, I may not have recognized her.
S
he turned slowly to face me and I saw the subtle movement of her head as she looked me up and down before she walked over. “Hey.”
“Wow,” I blurted before my brain caught up. I almost said more but thankfully managed to catch myself before I started drooling and blathering.
Her eyes went wide. “What?”
“You look absolutely incredible. Different. I mean good different. Great different. Really great different. So great.” Okay, so I hadn’t managed the not blathering.
“Oh, phew. I thought you were about to tell me I’d forgotten to zip my dress. Actually, wait a second.” Her hand went to the left side of her ribs. “Nope, I don’t need an adult to help me.”
My eyes followed the hand checking just beside her breast. “Not at all. Just took me by surprise, that’s all.” She smelled incredible, like flowers and spice and it took every bit of willpower not to lean in and lightly brush my nose along her neck to inhale the scent of her.
Her mouth quirked knowingly. “Ah yes. You don’t recognize me out of dirty boots and pants and covered in assorted horse grime, with my hair going in a hundred directions.”
“Pretty much that, yes,” I admitted. “Sorry. I just didn’t realize you liked…” I couldn’t figure out how to describe what I saw, so opted for a vague gesture.
Her dimples flashed. “Wearing clean clothes? Being freshly showered? Smelling like something other than horse shit, horse sweat and basically every equine fluid imaginable mixed with human sweat?”
All of that yes, not that any of it bothered me, but I couldn’t articulate. I cleared my throat and managed, “Dresses.”
“Ahh.” The grin relaxed into a slow smile. “I do. If you stick around, you might find I like a lot of things you wouldn’t expect. And probably a few things you would.”
“Well, I love surprises and this is definitely one of the better ones.” My gaze wandered downward. Who knew that underneath her usual attire of cargo pants and polo shirt was that body. And those legs. The scars from her cross-country accident were faded but still obvious and I paused a moment to take them in. Then my attention wandered. Heels. Maybe three-inch if her almost-equal height was any indication. And they did things to her legs that made my stomach twist with both nervousness and excitement. My libido, which had been cruising along happily with her dressed in everyday work clothes, jumped in a rocket ship and went skyward.
