by E. J. Noyes
“Why?”
“The moon is waxing, someone looked at him, who the hell knows.” She eyed me over the top of her glasses. “And…he’s been complaining that since you left for your ‘Special Little Olympic Adventure’ caseloads have been off the charts and he’s had to work on-call shifts to cover some of it.”
Boo-fucking-hoo. “Hell. It’s not like I’ve been loafing at home enjoying a nice break sleeping in every morning and doing sweet eff-all. I’ve been bustin’ my ass.” Mostly. “Look at the bags under my eyes.”
Diana held up both hands. “I know, I know.”
I forced a smile. “Great. Situation normal here while I’ve been gone, then?”
“Pretty much.” She patted my knee. “It’s good to see you. Come find me for a chat later. I want to hear all about it.”
As usual, later never happened. I barely had a moment to breathe, and as the days blurred I spent my free moments thinking about Caitlyn. We texted every day, usually a disjointed conversation held at weird hours around our respective jobs. We managed to talk every few days, in the car on the way to a consult, or she was done for the day and I was usually still at work. At least once a day I checked equine vet job openings in Kentucky—just for interest’s sake—then scared myself when I saw how little was on offer and closed the sites down again.
Most importantly we both discovered phone and video-call sex, which turned out to be a mutual kink neither of us had realized we’d had. In a strange way, it worked. But it wasn’t great. I missed the physical. After eight days back at work, and fifteen away from her, we still hadn’t made plans to meet up again. The prospects were murky. There was the possibility for a weekend visit early next month. In the meantime, I had plenty of work to catch up on. As Seth kept reminding me. No shit, Sherlock.
* * *
I pulled over on the road outside my client’s place to double check messages, then set my phone onto the hands-free cradle and crossed my fingers as I dialed. Caitlyn answered after a few rings, her voice full of pleasure. “Hey. I was just thinking about you.”
“What a coincidence because I’m usually thinking about you. What triggered this thought of yours?”
She laughed. “The vet just left. But also, you know, I love you so I think about you a lot.”
“Nice save,” I said dryly. “Everyone okay?”
“Yeah. Just a checkup for Antoinette’s arthritis.”
“Ah, good.” I pulled out and started down the road on my way to my next consult.
“How’s the day been?”
“Busy. I’m still trying to get to lunch.” At three p.m.
“Oh, babe, that sucks. Try to eat something?”
“I will.”
The sound of horse hooves on concrete echoed through the phone. “I’m just about to jump on Dew, but when we have some time maybe we could figure out when we can have our first visit?”
My stomach and chest did an excited flutter. “Absolutely. I’ll call back tonight and we can set a firm date. I really miss you. This is great and fine, but you know.”
“Yeah, I do know,” she quietly agreed.
I could have easily spent a few more minutes having a gooey loved-up conversation but my work phone interrupted. “Okay, I gotta go too. Work call coming through. I love you.”
“And I love you.”
“I never get sick of hearing that.”
“Good, because I never get sick of saying it.”
With a quiet groan of frustration at our lack of time and not-lack of distance, I said, “Okay, I really gotta go before I combust of romance.”
The call was for a colic emergency, which thankfully wasn’t as much of an emergency as the client had made out. I arrived late to my next scheduled consult which was thankfully only a quick standard vaccination call, then headed back to the practice for my very late lunch. The moment I got out of the truck, Seth—who was an interesting shade of purply-red—bailed me up. “Where the fuck have you been?”
I only just managed to hold my tongue on a facetious response of, “Driving around, staring at the scenery, wasting time and getting paid for it.” His face made it clear he was in no mood for jokes, so I went with the truth. “Out on consults?”
“For fuck’s sake, Addie. I’ve got a colic coming in that looks surgical, the scheduled arthroscopy that’s already been pushed back a day, and a mare who’s about to abort if someone doesn’t get their ass in there and stop it. Namely, you.”
My temper, which had started sparking the moment he’d addressed me, flared. “Geez, Seth. I’m so fuckin’ sorry I forgot to bring my clairvoyant hat this morning so I’d know all of that without anyone telling me.” Given we all shit talked each other, griped at each other and let loose with tempers, I wasn’t worried about talking back to him.
“Get your ass into stall five and deal with that mare. And so fucking help me God if she loses her foal, I’ll—” Apparently nastiness had limits and whatever he’d been about to say was held back behind a clenched jaw.
“You’ll what?” I raised my eyebrows. “Hmm?”
His answer was to stalk away, muttering under his breath, leaving me to calm down. I got that running a veterinary practice was stressful. I got that his wife was on him all the time about cutting back on the amount of work he did. I got that people sometimes let loose with emotion. But I didn’t get why he thought it was okay to talk to his staff the way he did. And lately, I couldn’t get why I was still hanging around taking it.
Unsurprisingly, my call with Caitlyn never eventuated. All I managed was a text around eight p.m. to let her know I was going to be stuck at work until who knew when, I was so sorry and I’d call as soon as I could tomorrow. Despite not being on call, I stayed until close to midnight with the mare until I was sure she wasn’t going to lose the foal, and then skulked home to shower and sleep.
I was too tired to even be enraged about being treated like absolute dirt. I was the most senior vet on Seth’s staff, and instead of respect I was treated like a first-year vet student. And I was just starting to realize that it didn’t have to be like this. But that was a thought for another day.
Teresa called early the next morning while I was at my desk eating breakfast and typing up case notes. Her greeting was an indignant, “Addie, goddammit, why haven’t you called me yet? You’ve been home forever. I need the Caitlyn gossip.”
“I’m busy,” I said around my mouthful of cereal.
“Right. You and every other vet on the planet. So listen, Emmett’s decided instead of a locum he wants to add another fulltime vet to the roster. He’s thinking a reasonably new graduate, someone looking for a place to settle long term who he can train up and invest in.”
“Good plan.”
“Right? He’s getting ready to advertise but before he does that, he wants our word-of-mouth recommendations. I’ve got total baby-brain. You know any junior equine vets who want to work at the best vet practice around?”
“Not off the top of my head.”
Seth leaned in the door. “You on a personal call?”
“Excuse me a moment,” I told Teresa. Putting the phone down, I turned around. “No, Seth, I’m not.” Dickhead.
His heavy footsteps echoed down the hall.
“Your boss is such an asshole,” Teresa said when I’d raised the phone again.
“Don’t I know it.” I sighed. “I need to get back to paperwork. I’ll call if I think of anyone.”
“Don’t be a stranger. And I won’t forget you still owe me that gossip. I want all the details.”
“Pervert.”
Her laugh was her goodbye.
Around my morning consults I tried to think of anyone I could recommend to Teresa. I’d just made it back to the practice to restock my work truck before heading out again when I was intercepted by Pat, one of the staff from the café next to work. “Addie,” she puffed, “I’ve been staring out the window for the last hour waiting to see you come back. We had a phone order come in for
your lunch, from a…Caitlyn?”
“Oh?” I took the offered takeout container. “Thanks. What do I owe you?”
“All paid for. Catch you later.” She jogged off before I could say another word.
I opened the cardboard box and found a thick sandwich and a Mars Bar. My stomach did a funny swirl of excitement at Caitlyn’s sweet thoughtfulness and with one hand I texted her as I walked. I just got your lunch. Thank you! Also, sneaky stalker figuring out which café is next to my work.
Her answer came within a minute. Glad you got it. I wish I could have delivered it in person. One day I will. I love you.
I took my time reading the text again and by the time I was done, was struck with a sudden realization. I loved her and there was absolutely no reason I shouldn’t be near her. I loved her sweetness. Her compassion. Her tenderness. Her determination. And damn it all to hell I did not need to stay in Florida to work for a man who treated everyone like crap and fostered an unpleasant workplace, just for the sake of some extra money.
Hadn’t Teresa said it herself, that her mental health was more important than a top-twenty-percent wage? And with my USDF work, it really didn’t matter anyway. I was an adult now, I was financially secure, and I was such an idiot for letting childhood fears hold me back over something as meaningless as a small salary cut when what I’d gain personally was priceless.
I took my lunch and phone to my car, shut myself in and searched for a number. My call was answered with a cheerful, “Emmett Lake.”
“Emmett, hi. It’s Addie Gardner. Hope you’re well.”
“I am indeed. To what do I owe the pleasure of you calling me?”
“Teresa called me this morning and said you’re hunting for a new equine vet.” I ran my tongue around my dry mouth.
Emmett chuckled. “Addie, you’re damned right I’m looking.”
I tried to keep the shaky hopefulness out of my voice as I said, “I know you’re thinking of hiring someone newly qualified, but would you consider someone with Olympic veterinary experience who’s already licensed in Kentucky and wants to settle there?”
There was a long pause. “Are you about to make my day?”
“I might be, sir. Or it could be you’re about to make mine…”
After hastily updating my résumé and a bunch of back-and-forth emails with Emmett in between consults, I strode back into my office and opened a fresh Word document. It took me ten minutes to write the letter and I did the very passive-aggressive thing of printing it at work and using an envelope from the stash at the reception desk. There was no point in waiting until the end of the day, or a better time, so I marched into Seth’s office and held out the envelope. He eyed it like I’d just handed him a stick of dynamite. “What’s this?”
“My letter of resignation, and my official two weeks’ notice.” He still hadn’t taken the envelope so I placed it on his desk.
Seth leaned back in his chair, to the leather-creaking protest of the furniture. “I see. May I ask why?” The question was asked calmly but he couldn’t disguise his irritation.
Though I wanted nothing more than to tell him exactly why I’d decided to quit and that it’d been coming for over a year but I’d been too scared to leave, I decided on the not-burning-bridges route. “After my time with the dressage team, I’ve realized I need to move my career in a different direction. And now that David West has officially retired, my position with the USDF is assured. My time with the dressage athletes made me realize that my passion really does lie with performance horse work. I’m so grateful for the opportunities you’ve given me and the things I’ve learned here in mixed equine practice.” Like how not to treat employees. “But it’s time for me to move on.”
“If that’s your only reason we can look at having you specialize.” It sounded like desperate straws being grasped. I’d heard this promise before, and knew it started off great but after a few months I’d be back at square one.
“I appreciate that. But despite what you kept saying, I know you’re unhappy with my position within the USDF. And I feel it’s unfair to take myself out of the practice so frequently. It’s disruptive to the workflow and puts unnecessary stresses on my colleagues.” Because he wouldn’t hire enough veterinarians.
I knew this was going to make things harder for the people I’d worked with for the past six years, but I also knew every one of them would sprint out the door at the first opportunity. We were all friendly enough when we weren’t snarking at one another. But we weren’t friends. Another reason I wanted out.
“You’re going to do what, exactly?” It came out with a sneer, as if he didn’t think me capable of changing course at this stage of my career.
“Move to a practice that’s primarily geared toward elite performance horses.”
He didn’t bother disguising his annoyance. “Then I suppose that’s it. There’s nothing I can do or say to change your mind?”
“’Fraid not.” No way, no how. I knew he didn’t care that I was leaving. He cared that he’d have to figure out how to cover my position until he could find a new veterinarian or three, or shock and horror…have to work more himself. “I’ve already got a new job lined up.”
“Where?”
“Kentucky.” That was all I was going to give him. “Right, well I have to get home. I have no more consults this afternoon, and I’m owed hours for overtime. Already cleared it with Margot. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
All I got was a grunt. He’d picked up his phone and was scrolling through something on the screen. Thanks for making my decision so easy, Seth.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Caitlyn
The brief moments talking to Addie had quickly become the bright spot in my days, which were often mirrors of the one before. Sometimes we had a four-sentence conversation in between her consults and me swapping from one horse to the next. Other times it was hours at night when she’d finally finished work and we’d have conversations full of laughter, seriousness and intense connection before inevitably agreeing that yes, we should really practice our phone sex.
We’d finally managed to set a firm day for her to fly up this weekend but Addie seemed distracted. She wasn’t exactly distant but I could tell she was busy, and not wanting to add to her work stress, which she’d started opening up about, I didn’t push.
We’d found a comfortable space to exist in while being apart where it felt like we were really connecting and getting to know each other. Comfortable was fine but it was starting to feel a little stretched and I didn’t know how I was going to say goodbye to her on Sunday. I’d been reminding myself that I would say goodbye because I had to, because this was how it was for us until we could find another way to be together.
Until then, I had my usual work. Dewey had settled right back in after quarantine and Wren, Brandon, and I all swore he was lording his position as Olympic Superstar over everyone. I’d picked up the training of my other horses where Brandon had left it, and others were trickling back in for me to train. And then there was Dougie who was acting like he’d lived here his whole life, and aside from a few expected issues which all related to him being a young stallion finding his place, I was thrilled with him.
On the schedule for ten this morning was Dougie’s DNA testing for breeding purposes, along with a general checkup. I was untacking one of my clients’ horses while Wren fetched Dirk, and decided I had enough time to call Addie. The call almost rang out before she answered with a breathless, “Hey, babe.”
“Hey yourself. You going to a consult?”
“I certainly am.” She paused. “Gotta cram in as much as I can before I come see you.”
The thought made my stomach tighten with excitement. “I can’t wait.”
“Me either,” she murmured. “I—” A ringing phone interrupted. “Honey, I have to go. Sorry. Work calls. I’ll talk to you soon. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Despite my manic excitement with Addie’s call, I managed to ride
Dirk without incident and had just enough time to rush up to the house to make myself a PB&J before the vet appointment. My first bite was interrupted by a knock on my screen door, which made it rattle against the frame. Wren was the only person I knew who never used doorbells, so I always knew when it was her at my door.
I leaned over the pony wall that made up one side of my kitchen and called, “Hey. Come on in.”
She opened the screen door but didn’t step inside. “Hey. Brandon has come down with some stomach flu thing, fluids coming out of him everywhere. Gross as hell. Sorry, but I need to head into town to grab him some things to uh, stop the flow. Will you be okay by yourself for the vet visit?”
Well that explained his absence this morning. I’d already planned to be there to talk to the vet about Dougie, so doing it by myself was no problem. “Of course I will, no worries, I’ll take care of it. Hope Brandon feels better.”
“Mhmm, great. I’m sure he’ll be fine by tomorrow. Let me know how it goes with the vet.” Wren flashed me an incongruous grin then jumped down the two steps off my front porch.
I slipped back into the kitchen and finished my sandwich and was just pulling on a pair of short boots when a white pickup with a canopy on the back rolled slowly through my gate. The vet was early. The truck paused at the intersection then turned off toward the barn. I wandered down the hill to meet them and noticed some lucky veterinarian at LakeVets had a brand-new work truck. Emmett and his staff generally kept their cars clean, but this one gleamed. The driver door opened and the last person in the world I’d expected to see stepped out of the truck.
Addie.
My whole body did a weird shudder as if I’d just plunged into an ice bath. Her smile, in person, was the best thing I’d seen in a month. Addie winked. “Howdy, darlin’.” She laughed, shaking her head. “Wow that came out totally cowgirl and I have no idea why.” Both her hands extended as if she was offering me something. “Surprise.”
