Her heart grew heavy as she realized the day he spoke of might never come. There was still the chance that only one of them, possibly neither, would survive this. Or that President Saevus would win. If that ever happened she could not die, could not lose Xander forever without telling him how she felt.
"I love you," she said.
Xander's mouth fell open, his golden eyes dancing as he gazed back at her. "You're not just saying that because I said it?"
Deryn smiled and shook her head. "It's just how I feel. I love you, Xander."
Not wanting her to see his eyes tear, Xander put a hand behind Deryn's head and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. "I love you, Deryn," he said between parts of their lips.
They both laughed softly as they fell back on the bed, once again getting lost in each other for hours that just never seemed long enough.
But Xander and Deryn were not fools. They knew from the beginning that this could never end well. And now that love was involved ... well, that just made things even more complicated.
Chapter Fourteen
Bronson yipped as Luka grabbed him by the arm and flipped him onto the floor. Even though Luka was a good three inches shorter than him and quite a bit leaner, he still did this with ease.
Luka stared down at him and flashed that cute grin of his. "Hey, you two were right," he said, glancing over his shoulder at Xander and Deryn. "It is fun to use him as a test dummy."
Xander grunted and looked elsewhere.
Luka's face scrunched in curiosity. "What's wrong with you?"
"Can you show me now?" asked Deryn, stepping forward and holding out a hand to help Bronson off the floor, doing her best to change the subject. Xander had told her about what he had seen on the balcony when they'd woken up that morning. Well ... when they'd woken up that afternoon. It had been a late night.
Xander wasn't exactly upset about Bronson and Luka kissing, but he was confused. Luka had always really liked women. And he meant really liked them. A lot.
Deryn tried to explain that maybe Luka wasn't gay - Bronson still insisted that he wasn't - and that he was just attracted to the person. Bronson was great, even Xander couldn't say anything bad about him.
Of course, Deryn had insisted that Xander keep his mouth shut about this. If Luka wanted him to know then he would tell him. And considering how confused Xander felt about the whole situation, it was irrefutable that Luka was feeling that same confusion hundredfold.
At least Xander found slight relief when they'd left their bedroom and found Bronson sleeping on the couch. His excuse was that he and Luka got caught up talking about the whole him being an Outsider thing, which he'd apparently confessed to calm Anan down. And Luka had wanted to know more about Quigley's sister to see if he could help. It probably wasn't a lie, he just happened to leave out the part where they'd kissed pretty heavily.
When Luka put his hands on Deryn to show her the movements she needed to take, Xander suddenly became very alert. Feeling Bronson watching him, he turned and met his gaze.
Bronson rolled his eyes. He'd always felt that Xander's jealousy was ridiculous since Deryn was clearly smitten.
"Bronson, can I try now?" asked Deryn.
"Why can't you try on Ruby?"
Deryn looked at Xander and smiled.
"Fuck no," he said.
"Why not?" she asked with a pout.
"Other than the obvious?"
She nodded.
"Bronson's bigger than me," he said. "If you can't flip him then I'll let you try on me."
She raised her eyebrows. "Really?"
Xander smirked. "Well, only if we're naked."
Deryn rolled her eyes. "Looks like it's you and me, Bronson." She got into position. "Ready?"
Bronson grunted before mumbling, "Whatever."
Deryn attempted the moves Luka had shown her. While she was able to get Bronson off the floor, she ended up doing more of a half-flip, where he rolled around strangely on her back while she wobbled from foot to foot. When he finally fell she fell with him, missing the spot where Luka had laid down several pillows for them to practice on by a good two feet.
Xander and Luka were laughing hysterically from the sidelines. Deryn looked up at them and grimaced.
"It's not funny!"
"It was pretty funny," said Luka.
Deryn got back on her feet and said, "Xander, I'm going to need to try on you."
"Fuck. No."
"But I need to try with someone smaller first just to get the feel for it, and Luka's instructing me."
"Did I not just say fuck no?"
"Xander, stop being difficult!" she yelled, crossing her arms and blowing a strand of loose hair out of her face.
"I already told you I would be more than willing if -"
"We're not getting naked! Now, get in position."
"Hey guys, what's going on?" asked Quigley, who was walking down the stairs.
Xander turned and gave him a onceover. He was about the same height as Xander, maybe an inch taller, but fairly thin. Probably around the same weight.
Xander smirked. "Ah, Quigley. Perfect timing."
* * * * * *
Xander leaned back in his chair at the president's table with his arms crossed. He didn't like the way Barath Voclain was watching his son. With his peripherals, he could see Luka leaning forward in his new seat and staring intently at his fidgety hands, definitely aware of his father's watchful eye.
Noticing Xander staring at him, Barath moved his head slightly towards him and scowled. Xander just smiled.
"That's all we have on the agenda for this evening," said Elvira as she closed the hologram on her computer and glanced at her father.
"Very well," said President Saevus. "Is there anything else anyone would like to add?"
"Mr. President," said Mathis Fender, raising his hand. Saevus nodded. "I was just wondering why no further attempts have been made to look for my son. It's been over three months now and -"
"Your son is hardly worth our time," Saevus said coldly.
Mathis's face flushed. "But, sir -"
"You've always been of great assistance to me, Mathis, but Dougal holds little value here. He was a dreadful imbecile -"
Xander's mouth twitched upward.
"- and I have been informed on more than one occasion that he was nothing but a burden on missions. Perhaps his disappearance was a blessing in disguise"
"Here, here!" shouted Xander.
Luka glanced at him and rolled his eyes. Damn, that Deryn habit was spreading rapidly.
"A perfect example," said President Saevus, motioning a hand towards Xander. "While some of my oldest followers' children prevail by my side, proving their worth to be far greater than their predecessors -"
Atticus's face remained firm but his head sank slightly.
"- others simply do not live up to expectations." His desolate eyes drifted down the table to Lona, whose fear was far more evident than Atticus's as she cowered in her seat. She'd recently been called upon to do a bit of torturing for the president. It hadn't gone well.
"She's young, sir," said Xander. After the promise he'd made to her, he couldn't help but feel the need to be somewhat protective, especially when she was being called out in front of everyone. "Give her time."
"Perhaps you'll be kind enough to take Lona on a real mission once the New Year is upon us," said Saevus, moving his desolate eyes to Xander.
"Certainly, Mr. President." He looked at Lona and smirked. "I would be happy to break her in."
Lona gave him a small smile. She, of course, knew his implications were a joke, but her father didn't, which became very clear when he stood up from his seat and shouted, "You most certainly will not!"
Xander smiled innocently. "But the president said -"
"No! You will not be ruining my daughter before she finds a proper man to marry! Do you hear me, Xander?" Arron turned redder with every word he spoke.
"Dad, he was joking," said Lona, flushing from embarr
assment. "Surely Xander's been at this table long enough for you to recognize when he's trying to get a rise out of someone."
"And it seems I've succeeded once again," said Xander. "Mr. President, are we finished?"
Mathis raised his hand again. "But what about my -"
"Yes, we're finished," said President Saevus. "Arron, I will need you to stay behind. I do not care for outbursts at my table, and you'll be punished appropriately."
Arron went white as he slowly sank back into his chair.
"Everyone else is dismissed."
Xander stood and headed for the exit with Luka at his heels.
"Luka, wait!"
Luka groaned. Xander glanced over his shoulder to see Barath running after them. He stopped walking, forcing Luka to do the same.
"What are you doing?" Luka muttered under his breath.
"Curiosity," said Xander with a shrug.
"Xander, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to speak to my son alone," said Barath, looking at Xander with disdain.
"I do mind, actually."
Luka groaned again and turned around. "What do you want, Father?"
"A chance to explain."
Xander huffed. "Your son is no fool, Barath. Even without the so-called empty threat you made to Veli, you still tried to have him exposed as a traitor."
"I wasn't trying to expose him!" shouted Barath. "I know Luka would never betray the president. But you. You I don't trust, Xander. And the way the two of you carry on together, I simply thought he might know something to expose you."
"If he knew something to expose me, then he'd undoubtedly be a traitor himself, wouldn't he?"
"Not if he was unaware of it!" shouted Barath. "You can't be trusted. I know you can't, and I'm going to prove it." He moved his eyes back to Luka. "And when I do, Luka, you will be coming home."
Luka stared firmly at his father and said, "I won't," his voice as cold as ice.
He turned and headed for the door, this time with Xander on his heels.
Wyatt was standing there waiting when they arrived. "Where're you two headed?" he asked.
"Nowhere," said Luka, his mind clearly still on his father.
"Wanna go to the Pit? Feels like it's been ages."
"I'm busy," said Xander, who really did have a night planned with Deryn.
"I'll go," said Luka, who quite obviously needed a drink.
"Would you mind if I came along?"
They all turned to see Lona walking towards them.
"What are you still doing here?" asked Xander.
"The president wanted me to stay behind and help punish my father." She smiled. "It was easier than I expected."
"S'alright with me," said Wyatt, looking at Luka.
He shrugged. "Whatever. Just don't get in my way when I get piss ass drunk."
"As long as you don't get in mine," she said.
Xander walked with all of them through the gate to Middle City before mounting his hover-bike and heading home.
"Deryn!" he called as soon as he got there.
The door to their bedroom opened and she walked out, smiling as the small black dress she wore fluttered with each step. Bronson had purchased it for her that afternoon, and it did not disappoint. Her hair was in ringlets and there were subtle signs of blush and mascara on her face, but nothing too extravagant. She wore simple black flats, since they had all agreed that heels were not a good idea for her. But, of course, the best detail about her was the chain she wore around her neck with the gold ring dangling from it.
"Wow," said Xander, wrapping his arms around her waist as she reached him and giving her a kiss. "You look beautiful."
"So do you," she said, grinning madly and kissing him again.
"Just let me change and then we can go," he said, but he made no attempt to move. Her lips tasted positively divine right now.
Eventually, she pulled away and pushed him towards the bedroom, giving his ass a little tap to hurry him along.
"Don't tease me," said Xander with a wink.
When he got to their room, he immediately began looking for his gray sweater, which he knew was Deryn's favorite. But it wasn't there.
"Deryn, do you know where my sweater is?" he asked, poking his head back into the living room.
"Which one?"
"The gray one."
"Oh," she said. "No, I haven't seen it."
An obvious lie, but one he would worry about later.
Xander ended up grabbing a light-blue sweater instead and pulling it on. After changing into a clean pair of black slacks, he headed back to the front room, where Deryn was already wearing her coat and holding his for him. He put it on, took her hand and led her out the front door. Then they went out of the building.
Xander hadn't bothered to put his bike away, knowing very well that they would be using it. Luka's chip was now permanently installed. The two of them put on their helmets and rode off into the night.
It wasn't long before they were parking his bike in the alley behind the restaurant where Bronson and Quigley worked. They knocked on the back door and waited for an answer.
"Ah, there you are!" exclaimed Bronson, throwing open the door. He ushered them into the busy kitchen and fixed Deryn's hood to cover her eyes, which she hadn't bothered to change the color of that evening. "Quigs!"
Quigley appeared pretty much out of nowhere and said, "This way."
Xander and Deryn followed him out of the kitchen and through a door that didn't head out to the main part of the restaurant. After leading them down a short hallway, he opened another door and let them go in first. It was a private dining room, lit up with candles while soft music played. The small table was set for two with silver plates and goblets, and was covered with a lacy white tablecloth. Deryn smiled as the candlelight hit the dark walls, making small golden specks twinkle on them like stars.
"Beautiful," she said as Xander removed her coat for her. He then removed his and handed them both off to Quigley.
"Hubba, hubba, Deryn," said Quigley, finally getting a good look at her in the black dress. "You sure you want to keep wasting your time with this jerk? Because I'm totally and completely available -"
"Enough, Quigley," said Xander, shoving him towards the door. "I'm not paying the ridiculous price for this room to have you bothering us all night."
"But I'm your server!"
"Then serve wine."
Quigley smiled. "Yessir!" He saluted and left.
When Xander turned back around, Deryn was pulling out her chair. He hurried over and did it for her. "Not even going to try and let me be a gentleman tonight?" he asked, giving her shoulder a kiss as he helped her scoot in.
"To be perfectly honest, I don't really know what that means. I already told you I've never been on a real date before."
"Which is precisely why we're here," he said, taking the seat across from her. He reached under the table and caressed her knee.
"Is that gentlemanly?" she asked, giving him a sly smile.
"Knee is fine," he said. "But if I move slightly upward ..." His hand drifted up her thigh.
Deryn smacked it away. "Not here, Xander!"
He laughed and beckoned her with his finger. She leaned across the table and met him in the middle for a kiss.
The door opened. They both looked to see Quigley enter with a bottle of wine. He grinned. "Already at it?"
Other than Quigley's few interruptions, Xander and Deryn had a fairly private and romantic evening. Bronson had already chosen the whole menu for them. There were seven courses, including both a cheese plate and something sweet for dessert. Deryn liked the cake he'd made so much that she asked if she could bring several slices home with them.
When the meal was finished, Quigley left Xander and Deryn completely alone, the two of them laughing and kissing as they finished off the last of their bottle of wine.
At one point, Xander stood and held his hand out to her. Unsure of what he was up to, Deryn went along with it, giggling as he pulled her
into his arms in one swift movement, holding her close and swaying to the music.
Deryn wrapped her arms around his shoulders and nuzzled her head against his chest. "You certainly know how to make a girl swoon."
"Yes, my mother taught me at a very young age how to treat a lady."
"She taught you well," said Deryn, tightening her grip on him. "Thank you, Xander. This was perfect."
"Don't mention it," he said, lifting her chin and kissing her.
They stayed like that until Quigley came in to let them know the restaurant was closing.
When they walked back through the kitchen it was pretty much empty, other than a busboy doing dishes. Bronson was already gone.
They hurried home, locked the bike in the garage and headed inside. When they got to their apartment, Deryn immediately noticed Luka's shoes by the front door.
"Oh, Luka's home. Do you think he'd like some cake?" she asked.
Xander shrugged. "Maybe. But he's probably passed out drunk off his ass."
"I'll wake his drunk ass then."
She walked towards his bedroom and opened the door. "Hey, Luka - Ah!" Deryn ran away from the door as quickly as she could and clutched her heart. "Holy shit!"
"What?" Xander hurried over to Luka's room and looked inside.
"Fucking hell, Xander! Th'fuck you doing?" shouted Luka. He was currently throwing a blanket over him and Lona, who he seemed to be in the middle of fornicating.
Xander raised his eyebrows and leaned against the doorframe. "Th'fuck am I doing? That's my future wife you currently have your cock in."
"Get out!" he shouted, attempting to throw a pillow, which barely made it two feet off the bed and slightly veered left.
Yes, Luka was definitely drunk. If it wasn't obvious by the dazed look in his eyes, then the sloppy way he threw that pillow ought to be proof enough.
"Carry on," said Xander, pulling the door shut as he left. It seemed Luka wasn't gay. While drunk, anyway.
"What's he doing?" Deryn said angrily while pointing at the closed door.
"I would think by now that you would recognize sex when you saw it."
"But ... but ..."
The front door opened and Bronson walked in.
Deryn gasped, her face instantly flushing.
Sunken Eyes (Cruel and Beautiful World Book 2) Page 14
