Dat’s brows inched together. He might have wanted to go home, but his fraa was staying in a tent on the other side of the camp. Jethro didn’t know how either of his parents would take it, but he was going to send Mamm home too. She and Dat would either work things out between them or they wouldn’t, but Jethro couldn’t help them. He had enough on his own plate, and his stomach wasn’t all that strong right now.
Willie Jay hooked his thumbs under his suspenders. “You’re giving up?”
“I’m letting go,” Jethro said, because he didn’t know how else to explain it. Letting go and letting Gotte take over.
“But what about Mary Anne? You’re just going to let her leave you like that when you haven’t done anything wrong?”
“Ach, I’ve done plenty wrong. Mary Anne was kind enough to let everyone think she was the sinner even though the fault was mine.”
Willie Jay exploded like a geyser. “Your fault? Mary Anne says it was your fault, but I never thought I’d see the day when my own bruder believed such lies. She’s the one who left her husband. She’s the one who sinned against Gotte and the church. That has always been your problem, Jethro. You make excuses for her because you love her too much.”
There wasn’t anything Jethro could say that would change Willie Jay’s mind. A few weeks ago, no one could have convinced Jethro of a better way either. He had learned the hard and painful way. And that’s how Willie Jay and Dat would have to learn. The Neuenschwander men were stubborn like that. Jethro laid a hand on Willie Jay’s shoulder. “I appreciate your support and your righteous indignation. I really do. But your family needs you. This has been a great sacrifice for you and Naoma and die kinner. Go home and take care of your family, and I will take care of mine.”
Willie Jay spread his arms and motioned around the camp. “You call this ‘taking care of your family’? Mary Anne left you, and you’re acting as if you’re the one who needs to repent. Any more repentance from you, and Mary Anne will kick you out of your own house by September.”
Jethro flinched. Mary Anne was going to be out of his life much sooner than that. His heart ached just thinking about it. “I called a driver to take you home. He’ll be here in half an hour.” Willie Jay looked as if he might want to argue for another three hours, but Jethro held up his hand to stop any objection. “I’m not listening.”
“You never did.” Willie Jay scowled, then seemed to give up whatever fight was still in him.
“But you’re not sending me home,” Dat said. “Your tent is still up, and your mamm is here.”
Jethro frowned. “I am sending you home, Dat. And Mamm too.”
“She won’t go.”
“She’ll go. She might not go home with you, but she’ll go.”
“But we’re your parents. We love you. We love you more than Mary Anne ever could. We want to help.”
Jethro took off his hat and scrubbed his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry if you’re hurt by this, but I shouldn’t have let you come in the first place. Mary Anne never wanted you here, and I was being selfish when I let you stay.”
“There you go again,” Willie Jay said, “apologizing for your fraa.”
Jethro gave the bag of David’s tent stakes a little extra force when he tossed them in the pile. “Have you ever loved someone so much you would give your life for them, Willie Jay?”
Willie Jay’s nostrils flared. “Of course. My fraa. Die kinner. Mein bruder.”
Jethro crossed his arms over his chest and ignored Willie Jay’s reference to his brother. “Do you love them enough to live your life for them?”
“What does that mean?”
“I love Mary Anne. I would give my live for her, but she doesn’t want it. All I have left is to live my life for her. And I won’t let my bruder tell me how to live my life, even if he is a minister.”
Willie Jay turned red as a sugar beet. “Doesn’t my sacrifice mean anything to you? I’ve been camping because I wanted to help you get your fraa back. Don’t you care that my family has had to get by without their fater? Naoma had to get her onkel to help her sow the alfalfa. But do I get any thanks for what I’ve done for you?”
“I am grateful, Willie Jay, even if I was wrong to let you stay. I shouldn’t have let you upset my fraa or make her uncomfortable. I don’t blame you. I know where the fault lies. I appreciate you, Willie Jay, but I want you to go.”
Willie Jay quickly rummaged through the pile of tents and sleeping bags until he found his things. Jethro tried to help him with his duffel bag, but Willie Jay pushed him away and picked it up himself. He slung the tent bag over one shoulder and the duffel bag over the other and carried his pillow and sleeping bag in his arms. “Where will the driver be?” he said, spitting the words out of his mouth like an insult.
“He’ll pull up in front. I’ve already paid for it.”
Willie Jay nodded curtly. “Gute. I wouldn’t want to spend one more dime or one more minute on such an ungrateful bruder. Don’t expect a Christmas card.” He turned and marched away as fast as he could laden with all that gear.
Jethro pressed his lips together. He probably hadn’t handled that well, but when had he ever done anything right? When things were finally settled with Mary Anne, he’d write to Willie Jay and apologize. Better yet, he’d go to Appleton for a visit and ask for forgiveness in person. Willie Jay loved being right. Jethro could gain his forgiveness with five minutes of groveling.
Not that he’d ever say he was wrong about this. Though it hurt with every breath, he was doing the right thing by Mary Anne.
Jethro shoved his hands in his pockets. “Why don’t you load your things in the wagon, Dat? I’ll go help Mamm take down her tent.”
Dat didn’t like that idea. “If anyone is going to help Lois take down her tent, it should be her husband.”
“Do you really want to have an argument in front of Mary Anne’s cousins? And her grandparents?”
“Her grandparents are having marriage troubles. They won’t care.”
“It’s going to be hard enough for me to convince Mamm that she needs to leave. Maybe you should just hitch up the buggy and wait.”
Dat huffed his displeasure, but he seemed willing to do what Jethro asked. It was bad enough kicking his own bruder out of camp. It was going to be nearly impossible to get rid of his mater.
Dat retrieved his sleeping bag, pillow, and the large canvas bag he’d used as a suitcase. “I’ll hitch up the buggy and pull it to the front of the barn. Tell your mamm I’ll be waiting.”
Jethro nodded and held out his hand. Dat hesitated for a second before shaking it. “I’m sorry, but a man must leave his mater and fater and cleave unto his wife. I’m doing the best I know how.”
“I know, son. Like as not, we’ll refuse to talk to you for a couple of weeks, then we’ll get over our anger and invite you to dinner. We’ll be fine.”
Jethro truly hoped so. He did love his parents. It would be a mighty blow if he lost them too. “Denki, Dat. I’ll go see about Mamm.”
Dat smiled, but there was disquiet in his eyes. Jethro knew the feeling. He had never seen Mamm so angry or so determined as she was the night of Mary Anne’s birthday party. If Dat was humble and owned up to his faults, Mamm might be willing to go home with him.
Jethro’s steps were slow in the direction of Mamm’s tent. She was going to be hurt, but Jethro didn’t know a way around it. Mary Anne’s side of the camp had just finished dinner, and Mamm sat next to the fire with one of Lily’s twins on her lap. Mamm was bouncing the little one on her knee and humming a tune. Die kinner seemed to be able to tell if a mammi or an impostor was holding them. Lily’s baby sucked happily on her fingers and let Mamm play with her golden hair.
About a dozen cousins greeted Jethro as he made his way to Mamm’s chair. Mary Anne was standing at the washtub with her back to him, washing dishes and laughing at something Mandy had said. The sight of her so happy twisted his heart like someone wringing out a dishrag. He wanted to be th
e one to make her smile. He wanted to be the person she was happiest being with. It was pure torture to know he wasn’t.
“Mamm,” he said, sitting in the empty chair next to her. “I need to talk to you.”
Mamm gave him a brilliant smile. It was nice to know he could at least make somebody happy. “How are you, Jethro? Have you eaten? I think we have some leftovers.”
Jethro glanced around to make sure no one was listening. He didn’t want to embarrass Mamm in front of the Helmuths. “Mamm, I appreciate all the support you’ve given me.”
Mamm’s lips twitched. “I haven’t been much of a support lately. I hope you aren’t upset. I’m protesting your fater, not you, though you deserve it almost as much as he does. Do you need me to cook? I’ll do it for you, but no one else over there.”
“Mamm, I’m sending everyone home. Willie Jay is waiting for a driver to take him back to Appleton. Dat is waiting at the buggy to take you home.” He said the last words slowly, just to make sure they sank in.
The lines bunched like freshly plowed rows on Mamm’s forehead. “You want me to go home?”
“Jah, for Mary Anne’s sake.”
“What do you mean, for Mary Anne’s sake?”
Jethro swallowed hard. “She’d be happier if her mother-in-law wasn’t hovering over her, finding fault with everything she does.”
Mamm lifted the baby off her lap. “Lily? Would you mind?”
Lily took her baby from Mamm’s arms. “Denki for entertaining her. She’s less squirmy if someone else holds her.”
“I would love to hold her any time,” Mamm said, with a tone that told Lily she wasn’t in the mood to visit. Lily moved away with the baby, and Mamm turned her body and her full attention on Jethro. “First of all, young man, while I am prone to find fault with those who deserve it, I would never find fault with Mary Anne. She is my daughter-in-law, and I love her.”
“Mamm, you know that’s not true.”
“It is so. I love her like my own daughter.”
Jethro sighed. “You know it’s not true that you don’t find fault.”
“I may have been angry with her for upsetting my son, but I have never said a word against her, and that’s the honest truth.”
“She thinks you hate her.”
“Well, I don’t. Secondly, if you think I’m going home with your fater, you don’t know me very well. I’m mad at him, and Mary Anne has shown me that I don’t have to put up with it.”
It felt as if his cow kicked him in the shin. Jethro didn’t know if he felt worse about how he’d treated Mary Anne or about how devastated Dat was going to be to find out Mamm wouldn’t go home with him. He couldn’t very well scold his mamm for being unreasonable and stubborn, or tell her she needed to work out her problems instead of running from them. He’d tried that on Mary Anne, and it had only made things worse. Much worse. Besides, that wasn’t even true. He was the one who had been unreasonable and stubborn. Mary Anne was working out the problem the only way she knew how. It was a wonderful brave thing to do. Jethro understood that now.
Mary Anne walked by them, drying her hands on a towel. Mamm reached out and grabbed her wrist. “Mary Anne, I need to talk to you.”
Mary Anne glanced at Jethro as if she wanted to pretend he wasn’t sitting there. She couldn’t very well just walk on by with Mamm holding on to her like that. “Is everything all right?” she said, her voice betraying her uneasiness.
Jethro jumped to his feet and offered Mary Anne his chair. She raised her eyebrows as a tiny smile played at her lips. “Denki, Jethro.” She sat down, and Jethro stationed himself behind his mater.
Mamm leaned back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest as if she would not be moved. “Jethro has asked me to leave the camp.”
Mary Anne’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “Does he want you to go back and cook for him?”
Any shred of assurance Jethro possessed blew away with the breeze. Did Mary Anne still think he was that selfish?
“Of course not,” Mamm said, the scold evident in her voice. “You know my Jethro better than that.”
Mary Anne pressed her lips together.
Mamm motioned toward Jethro’s camp. “Jethro told everyone on that side to go home. He didn’t want Willie Jay or any of the others to make you feel uncomfortable.”
Mary Anne formed her mouth into an O, and she lowered her eyes and stared at her hands.
“Willie Jay preaches a gute sermon,” Mamm said, “but sometimes he doesn’t know when to quit. It’s best if he goes home. Naoma doesn’t mind listening to him talk.” She reached out and gave Mary Anne’s leg a firm pat. “I am humble enough to admit that I have said and done things that hurt your feelings, but I hope that I have behaved better in the last few days. I love you, Mary Anne, even though Jethro says you think I hate you.”
Jethro nearly groaned out loud. He should have known better than to tell Mamm what Mary Anne had said. Mamm always spoke her mind, and she thought being honest and being blunt were the same thing.
Mary Anne drew her brows together. “I thought you hated me, but I’m not so sure anymore. I know you’re wonderful angry with me.” For sure and certain Mary Anne had become more plainspoken since she’d been living in a tent. She’d told Jethro what was what more than a few times.
He didn’t know whether to be proud of her or sorry for himself.
“I was very angry with you,” Mamm said. “But that’s no way for a Christian to behave, and I’m sorry. My only excuse is that I’m a mother bear. I don’t like to see my cubs get hurt.”
Mary Anne nodded. “I understand.”
Mamm reached back and touched Jethro’s hand. “I learned a gute lesson. You can’t know anything about anyone else until you know yourself. I’m sorry for judging you.” She clapped her hands together. “Now. Do I make you uncomfortable? Because if I do, I’ll pack up and head to my sister’s place in Wautoma. She keeps goats and her house stinks to high heaven, but I’ll do it if you don’t want me here.”
Mary Anne swallowed as if she had something stuck in her throat. “I would like you to stay. But if you want to get back to sleeping in a real bed, I won’t begrudge it.”
“Stuff and nonsense,” Mamm said. “I need more time to cool off, and Chris needs to think on his sins.”
“Okay, then.” Mary Anne got to her feet and nearly knocked Jethro over with a brilliant smile. “Denki,” she said, her voice cracking like cold glass on a hot day. “I know how much your bruder’s approval means to you.”
Jethro had to tell himself to breathe. “Willie Jay will be fine. He’s a minister. He has to forgive me or be a hypocrite. It’s your cousin Norman I worry about. He’ll probably never speak to me again.”
Mamm huffed. “That man makes me appreciate the peace and quiet all that much more.”
Mary Anne stifled a smile. “Norman likes to share his opinion.”
Jethro shrugged. “We were always taught that it’s gute to share.”
“What about Lily’s dat?” Mary Anne said. “Was he mad yet?”
“At first he wasn’t going to leave without Lily.” Jethro stuffed his hands in his pockets. “But he isn’t as young as he used to be, and it’s plain he’s tired of camping. He gave in when I suggested he go home and take a nice, hot shower.”
Mary Anne giggled. “His fraa will thank you.”
Jethro glanced in the direction of the barn and the driveway. “I suppose I should tell Dat to go on without you.”
Mamm stood and sighed like a goose. “Nae, Jethro. I’ll do it. I haven’t spoken a word to him for a week, and he needs a gute talking-to. I’ll be back in an hour.”
Chapter Seventeen
“‘The little puppy looked up the lane. He looked down the lane. But his mater and bruderen and schwesteren were nowhere to be seen.’” Mary Anne paused and held out the book to let die kinner get a gute look at the pictures. “‘He was sad because he had disobeyed his mamm and now he was lost. The little puppy sa
t down in the middle of the road and cried.’”
“Run up that hill. They’re on the other side.” Beth and Tyler Yoder’s little boy, Toby, was one of the few in Mary Anne’s audience old enough to make much sense of the story. He was four, and as jumpy and twitchy as Mary Anne would have expected any four-year-old to be.
“I don’t know,” Mary Anne said. “Let’s find out.”
She turned the page. “‘A little girl found the puppy, took him home, and gave him something to eat.’”
Little Sarah, Ben and Emma’s dochder, took her finger out of her mouth and pointed to the page. “Cow.”
“Jah. The puppy meets a new friend.” Mary Anne’s gaze flicked to the ceiling of her tent as she heard a distant rumble. The storm was moving away from them, but it was still raining wonderful hard.
Lily, Lia, and Beth were outside standing under umbrellas trying to get dinner going. Mary Anne had volunteered to entertain die kinner while their maters cooked. It was a special occasion because Beth and Tyler Yoder had come for dinner. They weren’t regular campers because neither Beth nor Tyler thought it would be wise to camp with Beth’s new baby, a toddler, and a four-year-old.
Mary Anne had wholeheartedly agreed that they shouldn’t be camping. She liked having the support of her relatives, but camping was a hardship her cousins had borne for her, and she felt the burden of their sacrifice every day.
Four little ones sat in a semicircle on the floor of her tent while Mary Anne faced them with the book propped on her leg, trying to make her voice heard over the rat-a-tat of fat raindrops against the canvas. Pine, Sarah Beachy’s boy who liked Cheetos, sat behind little Sarah, just as engrossed in the story as any of die kinner. Ach, vell, he was probably even more interested. His eyes danced with every new puppy adventure, and a wide grin spread across his face as if he couldn’t help himself.
Mary Anne had taken some of her nontoxic paints and painted a black nose and whiskers on each of die kinner. Pine had wanted a dog nose along with the rest of them.
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