by Mima
“And when the souldance was over, and I tasted you, I know that is an intimate experience. Yet as soon as you fell under the spell of our connection, as soon as you offered your body, I took it. I seized it. I knew that would be the one time I would ever get to love you. I was dishonorable, KarRa. I used my position to have experiences with you, bond with you, in ways most mate choices never see. I was wrong. I don't deserve your respect.”
“Merk, I don’t see it that way. I think you should meditate on it. Decide if you can function and not become wounded as my counselor in the future. I meant it when I told you I want you as my mentor in this Elemental magecraft I know nothing about. Can you maintain that kind of connection, knowing I will never be your mate? I trust you. I care for you. I was not bespelled, tranced, or misused in any way by you. I took much comfort from our … loving. I still do when I look back on it. I don't feel guilty about it in the least, and I'm the one with a soulmate. I would that it was a peaceful memory for you as well, instead of one of guilt and loss.”
Merk held himself stiffly, head hanging. “I—That you see me in that way—I will always choose to experience life with you, as a friend. I am honored to help you in any way you need.” He took a deep shuddering breath. “Don’t worry about me. You made your choice, KarRa. Stand proud in it.”
They looked at each other for several heartbeats, KarRa feeling more trust for him than any Clan brother from the Dark.
KarRa had another thought. “Merk, if you are bonded to me, and Grif is to Rylan, won't you be experiencing what we are?”
Merk kept his eyes on hers as he calmly nodded.
Shock seeped into her skin until all the hair stood up on her arms. “No, Merk, that is too cruel.” She felt like screaming at the injustice of it—this man having to not only watch, but feel, what he could have had.
“Perhaps after, it will be bittersweet, but KarRa, have no question that during the ceremony it will be sweet. Very, very sweet. It is an honor, to experience the ghost of a matebond. Grif and I have both done this several times. I have even done it once before with Grif.”
A satisfied gleam in his eyes, he leaned forward to whisper softly, “KarRa, we all come with you. You are the centerpoint of the dance. When you rise, I will as well, without any touch. The release of energy in the room is incredible, and it is not uncommon for many of the guests to quicken as well, when the woman rises to satisfaction. People who witness a matebond always, always return to fuck their mates, or go to the paid women.”
Laying his arms on the table, he leaned in even closer and lowered his voice. “Would you like to know that the last time Grif and I connected through the matebond, we went to the sixth level and shared a woman? All. Night. Long.” His grin spread at KarRa's open-mouthed shock. He pushed her jaw closed with a gentle finger and winked. “Maybe we'll do it again. The poor unmated, finding solace together.”
KarRa's mind surged with the image of Grif's redgold brightness next to Merk's midnight and tan, as they both bent over a woman writhing in pleasure who looked suspiciously like Freezha. Gasping she drew herself away from his close presence. “That is a very potent image. I thought Beasts did not share their women?”
He chuckled. “It will be a very potent ceremony. Sharing is not common, but the experience was intense, and we were keyed to each other, no pun intended.” He sat back and the atmosphere cleared. “Do you want verra wine to relax you?”
KarRa grimaced. “No.”
“I didn’t think so. It’s not like you to turn from a challenge. Rylan has not formed any bonds so great he wants them as audience. There will be no extra witnesses outside of the triad, and Grif.”
Merk stood, and for an awkward moment KarRa wanted to hug him, a bizarre urge for her. Her arms stayed by her side out of habit as he left.
“Goodnight KarRa.” He smiled wryly. “Maybe I'll sleep tonight.”
She tossed and turned all night.
* * * *
Breakfast was with Freezha, who declared the Watercoaster hot springs to be a wonder of the world. She teased KarRa, telling her there was a man-eating giant eel in the underground lake. Vyur and she had spent their first day there together. Freezha was abuzz with how warm and cozy the Lizzeed lair was, and how nicely Vyur had decorated his room.
“All people see is his combat record. It makes me so sad for him that people fear him like a monster. But now he has me!” She was glowing with happiness one moment, and the next her face crumpled.
“I haven’t been able to tempt him into anything serious at all. How am I supposed to inspire his undying passion if I'm dressed like a priestess!” She flung herself forward onto the table, her white-blonde locks dropping over the edge to blend perfectly with the shining ribbons of a dress.
KarRa put her hands on her hips. “Why are you letting him tell you how to dress? Begin as you mean to go on Freezha! He does not control you! Are you afraid of him?”
“I want to please him! And when he looks at me in my nice outfits, his eyes go all weird, and his voice goes low and he says,” she dropped her voice into a ridiculous mimicry, ““You are not wearing that.”“
There was a pause before KarRa burst out laughing. “He's jealous! Oh Freezha, he's being possessive. He wants you covered so you don't inspire undying lust in other men.”
“Well so what if I do! I'm Vyur's woman and there's nothing they can do about it.” Freezha looked totally confused.
Soon it was time for the newly chosen to go meet their men. As KarRa headed out to meet with Rylan she mentally fuzzed herself up, so that she was able to greet him with a welcoming smile. She tried not to remember the feeling of her legs spread in the air and his face in her core.
It was a glorious spring day and they walked the river outside the mountain together. Every rock they passed looked inviting enough to lay down on. Spread her legs on. Spread his legs on. Thankfully he was so irritable and snappish that he provided a good distraction from her newly fired up imagination.
“Look at that fish! Did you see it?”
“Oh yes. A big slimy fish.”
Finally, she was driven to a stop, arms akimbo. “What is your problem today?”
“We’re walking by a river!”
She folded her arms, waiting for the absurd comment to be defended.
“You’re not even aroused at all! All I can think of is getting my face between your legs, in your mouth… I haven’t seen your huge nipples in months and I… I… By the Fire, walking with a hard cock HURTS!”
KarRa cocked her head, considering his words. “We’re not supposed to make love. I was informed that what we did was … not well-informed.”
“I know! I’m not about to endanger you again.”
She shook her head. “So you should be glad I’m not as frustrated.”
“I can’t do this today. Can’t pretend to walk next to you like this—that this need isn’t inside me. I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m about to throw you on the ground and fuck you in about two seconds.” He ran.
KarRa stood by the swiftly moving water. So much water, the Clans would have died with joy to see it back in the Dark. She stood in the thin light, smelling the strange scent of a lot of clean water. She stood there, until her nipples stopped throbbing, stopped aching to be touched, and walked back. They could touch now. They could kiss. But it wasn’t easy yet. She wondered if it would ever be easy.
* * * *
Very early the next morning KarRa went with a handful of women, all still in their robes, to go bring back breakfast for the others. They had spread out along the narrow length of the room lined with serving windows, looking at all the hot and cold choices for the morning.
Suddenly the room echoed with approaching shouts, and all the women looked up, concerned. Then the room was full of men, fighting men, moving faster than KarRa had ever seen. KarRa, who had been at the end of the group, immediately thought of Freezha, the weakest member.
Turning toward her as she crouched, she shouted, �
�Get down Freezha!”
Freezha did not get down. She ran toward the door they had come in from, but was soon knocked sprawling by two men who were leaping incredible heights and pummeling each other.
Glancing back down the room, KarRa was relieved to see that one lady had the other women gathered behind her in a corner, a bubble of mage air blasting any of the fighters who came too close.
While the men had no hostility toward any of the women, clearly none of them had any concern for their welfare either. KarRa had to dive in a roll to avoid a Lizzeed who drove a smaller man—was he a boy?—up against the wall and began using that surface as leverage to beat the man's head in.
KarRa pinpointed Freezha, still mostly in the same place, now curled into a fetal ball, shrieking with her hands over her head.
“Freezha!”
After several calls, KarRa sighed and dodged out into the flying bodies. Unlike a normal riot, this one had the unpredictability of fuzzies because the men could jump so far and move so quickly.
KarRa dodged and stopped and spun and shoved her way to Freezha where she grabbed her arm, which stayed locked over her head, and just pulled Freezha instead of trying to get her coherent and up.
But dragging a screaming Freezha, even curled as small as she was, limited KarRa's agility considerably. Freezha caused two men fighting backwards to trip and fall, then their wildly thrashing limbs drove KarRa on a different path to get away from them.
“GET UP!” She shouted at Freezha.
Sobbing, Freezha uncurled and tried to crawl, but just as they started to move through a gap in the bodies, a fist came flying wildly toward KarRa's face.
Enjoying a chance to share her feelings on this mess, KarRa pushed it around and spun in the same direction, to jam her elbow into the man's face. The man he was fighting looked in shock at KarRa as she turned and sprang at him, hands hooked into claws, going for his eyes.
Backpedaling, he tried to stiff arm her and KarRa just wrapped her hands around his forearm and sank her teeth into the outer edge of the offered hand. A fleeting thought zipped through KarRa's mind as he shook her off and turned to run. They sure don't fight as well as I'd thought.
Turning back to Freezha, she saw she had continued to crawl toward the wall, but was now cowering in front of a particularly large, seething group of bodies. KarRa ran forward, grabbed her handy bound tail of hair at the nape of her neck, and hauled straight up, getting Freezha to her feet with a shriek.
Pushing her forward at another new angle, KarRa jerked and wrestled her through the bodies, punching as she went to drive them away if they got too close.
It seemed an eternity before the wall loomed close, even though it couldn't have been more than two body lengths. Some of the men were down now, and KarRa discovered that fruit had spilled and rolled all over the floor, creating another hazard.
“Through the window!” KarRa shouted, kicking fruit and nearby struggling men with equal viciousness.
Freezha latched onto a windowsill, pushing the fruit helter-skelter as she threw her body across the counter and into the small serving window. But she had to jump off the floor to hook her hands onto the other side because she was too short. It was then, while her feet were kicking wildly and KarRa had turned to shove a pair of snarling enlaced men away, that another body flew through the air to land with a thunk against the wall directly over Freezha. Then he fell on top of her legs.
KarRa heard the crack and Freezha's bloodcurdling cry and knew her bone had snapped. “Keep going!” she yelled. “Go through!”
But Freezha tried to double her body back through the tiny opening to get to her leg, her instinct to see and touch the pain.
KarRa reached out and shoved her groping hands away. “Get through!”
When Freezha's shoulders were at last pointed in the right direction, finally there was someone on the other side reaching through to pull at her upper body, while KarRa shoved her butt. Whirling into a crouch near the still body of the boy who had landed on her, KarRa surveyed the room.
There were now even more men in it, and they seemed much larger than the first wave. They were knocking heads and heaving bodies with the clear intent to pull the fighters apart and render them unconscious.
Deciding she would be happy to help, KarRa sprang from her crouch and kicked out with both feet at a nearby pair. They were fighting with some sort of side armed, chopping motions that seemed very ineffective—the other always seemed able to block the attack with arm or body. They weren't even going for each other's throat or faces. Her kick landed squarely on the hip of one of the fighters, and he went flying sideways.
The other stopped in surprise, looking at KarRa in horror. She scrambled ungracefully from the full body sprawl her two-footed kick had left her in to reach for his arm and swing him bodily away from the other. As that boy went staggering away, tripping over a nearby body, the other had flipped himself up like he was a puppet and leaped in a dive back toward him.
KarRa, just coming off the spin that had flung boy two away, put her shoulder directly in the path of his hips and wrapped her arms around his thighs, flipping her body as she did so. When his momentum dragged her off her feet, at least he came down well short of his target, and on the bottom.
He drew up a foot that had loosened in the hard fall to kick her in the face and she dove for his thigh and bit him as hard as she could through his thick pants. They weren't leather and his hands came down in clubbing swing as he yelled but she let go and rolled so that the blow glanced off her shoulder.
She spun in a crab-like motion to face the boy on all fours when a body landed in front of her, upright and very much in control. Looking through the large legs she saw the face of the boy look up, and then in rapid succession there were expressions of shock, horror, terror, and submission as he lay on his back with his arms behind his head, neck bared.
The legs stepped quickly to turn toward her, and KarRa was looking up at a Lizzeed who had a thickly scaled head, and eyes glinting the bright green of mage light.
“Are you wounded?” His voice was urgent.
KarRa stood to face him, although she only came to below his shoulder. “I'm fine. Freezha has a broken leg. She was kicked by accident a few times too.”
Alarm and rage passed over his controlled face and were gone.
Looking down the room he called, “Vyur!”
KarRa quickly tried to walk away, a bad feeling curling in her gut that she had learned to listen to, but he snagged her arm and held it in a gentle but enormous grip.
Vyur was there in a moment. He looked KarRa up and down. “You are KarRa,” he stated. “Where is Freezha?”
KarRa looked at Scalyhead, who was staring at Vyur. “Vyur, I want you on your knees.”
Vyur actually staggered as if he was hit.
Puzzled, KarRa looked back at Scaly.
“On your knees Vyur, and stay there.”
“By the Elements! She lives!” His voice was agony and rage.
“She lives Vyur! Now on! Your! Knees!”
The two men stared each other down and KarRa opened her mouth to say something meaningful to Vyur but Scalyhead squeezed her arm once. She shut her mouth with a snap.
The sounds of the last of the fights being broken up were fading to some moans, whining, desperate pleas, and calls for help here and there by the rescuers. All the rescuers nearby had frozen in a tableau, watching the standoff.
Vyur crashed to his knees.
“Hands behind your back.”
He did so. Was Vyur to be punished for Freezha's injury?! KarRa couldn't accept that they would be that unjust.
“You will stay there until I release you. Acknowledge.”
Vyur clearly ground his teeth, his eyes going flat and cold as they stared murderously at Scaly. “I will stay until my Alpha releases me.”
KarRa's head snapped around so fast to the man gripping her arm she thought she might have given herself the first injury of the riot. This was
the Lizzeed Alpha?
“Freezha has been wounded.” Scalyhead’s words were not without compassion, his tone sympathetic.
Vyur's entire body shuddered and rocked, and KarRa suddenly understood. Without his self-determination to honor his Alpha, Vyur would right now be ripping people's arms off. Or possibly heads, KarRa thought as she watched him swell and his neck thicken as he began to transform into battleform.
“She has broken her leg. She will be well. The fight has passed, she is out of danger. She needs you in control. I will take you to her when you restrain yourself.”
Vyur snarled, his mouth full of razor teeth spraying spit as he roared with rage, shaking his head back and forth as if he had been enslaved with chains rather than controlled by the order of his Alpha.
Turning to face KarRa as if the agonized man wasn't less than half a body length away, the Alpha scanned KarRa quickly. “You were fighting. When I came upon you, I thought you were one of the boys. You felt like a Trux.”
KarRa licked her lips. She didn't remember any laws against fighting.
Gesturing with his arm toward the room he asked, “Why were you in the fight?”
“Ummmm. Wrong place at the wrong time. There was another woman who did some wind stuff. She's a skymage.”
“There were other women here?! Where are they?”
“Uh… I'm not sure where they went. They were at that end of the room, so maybe they snuck out the far door, or went through the serving holes, like where I stuck…” breaking off she glanced cautiously at Vyur, who now had his head hanging forward as he sat back on his heels, his face covered by his hands, and appeared to either be hyperventilating or sobbing.
The man turned to look sharply at the line of food serving pass-throughs. Oddly, one of them still had a perfect presentation of neatly stacked round rolls. “They would not be large enough for us to fit through. Excellent thinking!”
