Annie’s hand trembled as she touched her own face; to assure herself that her nose, eyes, and mouth were in the right place. She had an eerie sense they had been snatched from her body and pasted onto this Laurie, this stranger. Laurie Simms wore a long gathered white linen skirt, and a bright scoop-necked appliquéd top, extravagantly Southwestern, reeking of money. Exactly the in-your-face kind of outfit Annie would have chosen if she were an invalid.
Even in Annie’s superior physical condition, the woman in the chair seemed to have the advantage. She sat beautifully erect, her eyes confident and judgmental. Annie winked back tears. You couldn’t buy this kind of poise. It comes from being sure of your place, she thought bitterly.
“Annie,” said the woman in the chair. “I’ve waited, waited so long for this moment.”
“My darling baby,” gushed Mrs. Simms. “My own darling little girl. You were twins, of course, identical twins.”
Jesus, Annie thought. What a gold mine. Her mind whirled. Stocks and bonds and land and this house. This fabulous house. The potential was slowly dawning on her. Then she was jolted by another thought; this wasn’t just any old mother. This is my real mother. She had actually found her real mother. Her very own sister. How had this happened?
“I don’t understand,” she said limply. “I just don’t understand.” Confused, she realized it was not a total coincidence. After all, she had concentrated on mothers who had given birth the year she was born. In fact, even before she knew Elaine Simms was worth a fortune, Annie had focused on her because she had a daughter named Laurie. The Annie-Laurie bit had appealed to her sense of poetic justice.
“We’ve been looking for you for the last three years,” said Laurie. “We hired a private detective.”
“Why didn’t he call us?” Mrs. Simms wailed. “I can’t understand why he didn’t let us know he had found you. We hunted everywhere.”
“He didn’t find me. I found you. I’ve been looking for you too. I was in a number of foster homes before I was adopted. So many it would have been hard to track me,” Annie said carefully, knowing they would be put off by her raw rage that could well to the surface if she didn’t keep strict control of her feelings.
“Oh my darling, we are all together again now. Reunited. And you are to start calling me Mother.”
“And you can start calling me Sis,” Laurie insisted with a charming smile.
“Are you sure?” Annie asked. Suspicious of her own good fortune, she looked into Laurie’s eyes. Did this sister resent the intrusion? How would it set with her to be an invalid, then have a healthy identical twin walk in, bold as brass? Not well, Annie thought. But that’s tough, sister. I’m here to stay.
“Of course I want you to call me Sis,” said Laurie. “Of course. How can you doubt it?” The tears in her eyes appeared to be genuine. They literally pulled her inside and led her to the kitchen, insisting she was one of the family, not parlor company.
Sitting at a huge oak island, Annie was astonished at the sheer size of the room. All the appliances were disguised by oak panels. A vast array of copper pans dangled on wrought-iron hooks. There was a glassed-in porch on the south side, containing a jungle of green plants.
I should have grown up right here, thought Annie. I should have gone to a finishing school. Learned to fence and play tennis. For an instant, she was swept by a wave of hatred for this sister who had had all the advantages.
“There are so many things I want to know about you. Where you live, what you do.” Elaine Simms brimmed with tears as she settled beside Annie.
“Excuse me,” Annie pleaded. “Bathroom, please?” She needed to escape. Think. She was terrified she would say or do something that would screw her up later.
She nearly ran down the hallway. Inside the ornate gold and rose powder room, she ran cold water over a washcloth and pressed it against the hot blood surging into her cheeks.
Then it dawned on her she could say anything, do anything, and they would believe her. If it didn’t ring true, she could simply explain that she had been trying to impress them. She had wanted them to like her.
She pulled herself together and walked back into the kitchen. The two women were weeping and clutching each other’s hands. Then, moved to tears herself, she laughed and joined them.
She and Laurie couldn’t keep their eyes off one another. They had an irresistible urge to play favorites. What’s your favorite book? What’s your favorite color? Your favorite movie? Annie realized everything she had learned about twins was true. Even raised apart in totally different backgrounds, they had developed nearly identical tastes.
They doted on her. Believed every word she said. She stuck as closely to the truth as possible, and when they asked her where she worked, she smiled tearfully and said, “For an adoption agency. That’s where I got the idea that you just might be my mother. But I had no idea I was a twin. None.”
And that’s the God’s truth, she thought, or I would have been here a long time ago.
“My sole reason for keeping such a painful job was to find you.” She peeked at them from between her fingers splayed across her face. “I’ve been told I was vastly underemployed. Working far below my capacity. At a salary that’s laughable to say the least.” Then overcome, she whirled around and left the room again.
When she returned, Laurie and Elaine’s faces were alive with joy and the quiet resolution of persons who have come to a decision. “We have so much to make up to you,” said Elaine. “So much we want you to know. Would it be possible for you to move in here? There simply aren’t enough hours in the day for us to catch up!”
Annie trembled as she walked toward them. “This house? This wonderful house? I could live in this house? With you?”
“Oh, my darling child,” Elaine said. “Of course. You’re entitled.”
You bet your butt I am, Annie thought. “There are a few arrangements I have to make.”
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No. I’ve been told I have problems with relationships, because of what was missing in my early childhood.” She said this with a brave little shudder and bright smile. She noticed a flash of guilty pain in Elaine Simms’s eyes. “And I need to let them know at work. I won’t bother with a full two weeks’ notice.”
Then seeing the frown on Elaine’s face, as though she did not approve of a daughter who took her responsibilities lightly, she added, “There’s been a few problems with my boss. He’s a bit handsy.”
It was the right thing to say. Elaine’s face relaxed, and Annie knew she should think Midwest from now on. Man’s word was his bond and all that.
“Can we send someone to help you?” asked Elaine.
“No,” Annie blurted. “I don’t want you to see where I live.” That was the absolute truth, and she was intrigued at how often now she was well served by the absolute truth.
Elaine’s face softened with pity. “Oh, my own darling little girl. I can’t believe how we’ve wronged you. We’re going to make it up to you.”
Annie packed quickly. Looking around at the sheer squalor of her apartment, she couldn’t wait to get out the door. Her pitiful pieces of furniture, her second-rate clothes belonged to another life. She didn’t need them anymore. For anything.
Her new bedroom contained a splendid walnut four-poster bed with an antique lace spread and curtains to match. That night she sank into the feathery warmth of soft luxurious bedding, fit for a princess. But before she drifted off to sleep, her mind buzzed with questions. Why did Mother keep Laurie and not me? Why was I abandoned?
The next morning, she was slowly coming up from the deepest sleep she had ever known when there was a timid knock on the door.
“Come in,” she called with a guilty glance at the clock. Ten in the morning. What must they think of her?
The door opened, and a maid came in bearing an enormous breakfast tray. Elaine followed her into the room.
“I can’t imagine what came over me,” Annie said. “Honestly.
You must think I’m a terrible slugabed—”
“No, no, no,” protested Elaine. She yanked up the raw silk shades and let in a blazing shaft of light. Her white hair gleamed like a halo against the window. “Darling girl. We want you to lie back. Enjoy! Let yourself be pampered. When was the last time you had breakfast in bed?”
The maid arranged the tray and began propping up the vast array of feather pillows. She handed Annie the morning paper and a remote for the TV hidden in the wall opposite her.
“I am so very, very grateful,” said Annie.
“We’re the ones who should be thankful,” Elaine said.
She handed Annie a clipboard. “I want you to sign this. I’m adding your name to my credit card at Neiman Marcus. You’re to have a whole new wardrobe. There’s a woman who will come here to fit you and show you fabrics, styles.”
“No need for that,” Annie protested as she signed the form. “I can go down to the store.”
“Nonsense. You’ve never had the pleasure of someone working to satisfy you and you alone. You’ll love it!”
That afternoon, Annie was overwhelmed by the array of expensive clothing.
“Don’t even think about the price,” Elaine said. “It’s not even a consideration.”
Oh, somebody pinch me, Annie thought. This has got to be a dream. She signed for a makeover from a well-known salon and a masseuse and approved of the fresh flowers to be delivered to her bedroom twice a week. She signed the forms adding her name to their health insurance and their car insurance.
“I’m going to get writer’s cramp,” Annie protested.
“You’re part of this family now,” Elaine said with amusement. “We want you to enjoy all the privileges. But when there’s money involved, all the forms and legalities can be overwhelming.”
When Elaine urged her to sell “or junk” her old car, Annie hoped she would volunteer to replace it with a racy little sports car.
“I don’t want you driving,” Elaine protested. “You’re too precious to us. Our chauffeur will take you anywhere you want to go. I’ve spent so many years worrying about Laurie’s health, I’m afraid you’ll find me a bit of a prevention fanatic. Please! Wear your seat belt, take vitamins, and all that.”
Although Elaine smiled to soften her words, Annie soon learned her every health habit was under constant scrutiny. She missed the freedom of driving her own car, and even more, the freedom to run around and do as she pleased. In her own velvet-gloved way, Elaine Simms exerted an iron control over the plethora of people required to run her household, and this attitude was extended to her daughters.
After studying all the processes for Laurie’s dialysis, Annie volunteered to stay with her and monitor the machine during the triweekly process. It gave her a chance to visit with Laurie.
When she made the offer, Elaine was thrilled. “It will be a big relief to me to know I can leave this house safely from time to time. Laurie’s own sister will be here to cheer her. Even though there’s always a nurse right in the next room, it will be a comfort to me.”
Annie smiled gamely. She hated blood, urine—anything to do with medicine. She wasn’t about to spend all of her days taking care of a sister with a bum kidney. They would have to go. Both of them, Annie thought grimly. But it would have to come after she was so entrenched she would be included in Elaine’s will.
Just as she was giving the ways and means her full attention, Elaine floored her with another move. It was as disorienting as opening a door two weeks earlier and finding her real mother.
Her mother came into her bedroom early that morning, trailed by a nurse carrying blood-typing tubes and all kinds of medical paraphernalia. The nurse wound an elastic tube around her arm. “All you’re going to feel is a little sting.”
“What’s going on? What are you doing to me?”
Elaine positively glowed. “I have a wonderful surprise for you, darling. I’m going to adopt you. This shouldn’t be necessary, but my lawyers insist that you have a complete medical workup. Given all the miracles people can work with plastic surgery nowadays, they want to be sure you’re really Laurie’s sister. They want blood typing, DNA testing. All that. We’ll need your consent, of course, for all these proceedings.” Elaine smiled as she handed Annie a clipboard containing stacks of papers requiring her signature. “I can’t adopt you against your will.”
“Why now?” asked Annie. “Why now, when I’m an adult?” There was a hole inside her nothing could fill. It was too late. Nevertheless, she reached for the pen, zipped through the piles of required forms, then patted Elaine’s hand to take the sting out of her words.
“Why now? There must be no question that you’re my legal heir, the same as Laurie. Adoption is the best way to eliminate any complications.”
Annie sank back into the bed, so ecstatic her toes curled. She beamed at the nurse. “Take plenty,” she said as she watched the vial fill with her blood. There was no doubt in her mind that Laurie was her identical twin; and her own health was perfect. Just perfect. Now her biggest hurdle of all—one that had driven her crazy for the past two weeks—had been cleared as easily as if someone had waved a magic wand. When Elaine died, she would inherit equally with Laurie. And then, she smiled. Then after a decent period, she would inherit her sister’s share. Just like that.
She hated the dialysis machine, but didn’t let a trace of that show. She now looked forward to the three-hour sessions three times a week with Laurie. At last, she was able to gain some information about her mother.
One day, she looked at Laurie and realized how much she liked her. For an instant, she wished this sister were well. She would be the family she had never had. She wished Elaine were not so domineering. Wished Laurie were not so sick.
After she had checked all the monitors and tubes, she glanced at the array of medications the nurse had left out on Laurie’s table. Lining them up, tidying the tray gave her a chance to read the labels.
She picked up a small bottle of morphine and turned to Laurie. “Are you in pain often?”
“No, I really do very well, but we don’t like to take any chances. When it hits, it’s terrible. We keep everything I might need possibly on hand,” she said with a weak smile. “As you can tell by the dates, I don’t need any pain medication very often.”
Just a bit too much morphine could fatally suppress respiration, Annie thought triumphantly. It was the perfect way. But first Elaine! She still had the problem with her mother. There was no real rush. The perfect way for her would present itself too.
Annie picked up a magazine and pretended to leaf through it. She and Laurie had quite a confidential relationship by now. Today, after her sister was relaxed, she would ask the heartbreaking questions that had always plagued her. She had a right to know. She waited until Laurie was drowsy, and the sun was warming the cheery yellow room Elaine had furnished especially for this process.
“What can you tell me about our father?”
Laurie stiffened. “We will never know who our father was,” she said softly. “Mother has never said.”
“I just supposed hers was a young have-to marriage and that her husband, Howard Simms, was our father,” Annie said truthfully.
“The man I grew up calling ‘Daddy’ was not our father.”
Stunned, Annie sat silently for a moment before she asked the question that had plagued her all her life. The one asked by all adoptive children; “Legitimate or not,” she said bitterly, “why didn’t they keep me?”
Laurie was totally silent. Absolutely rigid.
Then Annie asked the question that had been tormenting her ever since she came to this house. She had not known before that she had a sister. “How could any woman, any mother, give away a twin?”
“There are some questions you must never ask,” Laurie said softly. “Never.”
“I’ve got to know.”
“She didn’t know we were twins.”
“How could that be?”
“She’s not
our birth mother. I’m adopted. And you will be too, from what I hear.”
“Oh my God,” whispered Annie. “But the records show she gave up a baby for adoption—not that she was the one who adopted a child.”
“She did give up a baby,” Laurie said. “She became pregnant and her parents made her do it. They were very prominent socially, and couldn’t bear the stigma of an illegitimate grandchild. But Elaine nearly went crazy with grief. She married the man of their choice, nearly immediately afterward. It was more a financial merger than a marriage. In hopes of saving her sanity, Howard Simms agreed to adopt a child at once. Her parents’ lawyer put it all through at warp speed. A private arrangement, of course.”
“No state agency would have been that careless,” said Annie. “The lawyer didn’t bother to find out too many details about the birth, or he would have known we were twins.”
“Big bucks for the lawyer, and a one-shot deal,” Laurie said.
“So the state records I saw just showed that she had given up a child. I didn’t have access to ones showing that she also adopted another.” Annie rose from the chair and stared out the window.
“So, she’s not our real mother then.” Just any old mother after all. It explained so many things, such as their Swedish blonde beauty that didn’t seem to belong with the patrician hawk-faced woman. Most of all, it explained the slight antipathy she felt for Elaine Simms. If she had any qualms before about what she planned to do, they were now all swept away. “Not our real mother.”
“No,” Laurie said fiercely. “Put that thought out of your mind right now. I mean it, Annie, don’t ever, ever let on that I’ve told you. She freaks out over this. As far as I’m concerned, she is my real mother.”
When the dialysis session was over, Annie delayed asking the nurse to begin the elaborate dismantling and cleaning process. She needed the answers to several more questions.
Blood on Their Hands Page 21
