Within Miles
K.J. Carrigan
Acknowledgments
This book is dedicated to the people who believed in me from the start. I couldn’t have done this without you. xoxo
Prologue
I watched as my mother, father and Ares packed up Lancey’s truck with their suitcases.
They were Utah bound for the next couple of days to settle a deal about more cattle for the ranch.
I had no desire to go with them. In my eyes, flying in a helicopter or any aircraft for that matter was just plain stupid. Instead, I would stay here, go to school and invite my boyfriend, Alex over for some sleepovers.
I laughed when I watched my father kick Ares in the ass and say, “Hurry it up Son, we don’t have all day.”
Ares was busy making out with my best friend, Anna to even notice the love tap my father had given him with his boot.
“Now don’t be going and getting pregnant when we’re gone, ya hear?” My father shouted at me, giving me his wicked little grin.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever you say Mr. I knocked up my wife at the age of nineteen.” I replied, laughing.
“Thea!” My mother sternly said and then laughed afterword. “You must remember that I had all intentions of trapping him when I got pregnant with Ares. And look at us now,”
My mother came up to my father and placed a sloppy kiss on his mouth, making me want to get sick. “Happily married after all these years” She said in her sweet Greek accent that I wish I had.
“Stop it!” I cried, laughing and covering my eyes. My parents never had a problem with showing PDA, which was the most embarrassing thing ever!
“Ready to roll?” Ares asked as he strutted up to where my parents stood.
I walked down the front porch steps and joined them. Anna walked around Ares, giving him a pinch on the ass and joined me.
“Have a safe trip and buy some damn beef.” I said as I hugged my father.
“I love you honey” My father said adoringly.
“I love you too” I smiled and replied back, hugging him tighter. My father always smelled like straw, fabric softener and vanilla pipe smoke, which I always found comforting.
I hugged my mother next. “I love you” I whispered to her. I smoothed my hand over her soft, silky long hair, hair in which I thankfully inherited.
“I love you too. Mwro.” She said. I loved it when she called me that. It means ‘baby’ in Greek, always reminding me that I was her baby.
We released each other and Ares walked up to me, extending his finger. I laughed. We never hug each other goodbye; instead, we hook our fingers together. It’s weird, I know but it’s our thing.
I hooked my finger with his and locked them together. “Tell that jackass Alex that if he steps out of line, I will personally kick his ass.”
I rolled my eyes at him and nodded my head. Ares never liked Alex. Why? I wasn’t sure but I wasn’t going to argue with him. Ares was overprotective of me and it has come in handy a time or two.
Ares let go of my finger and gave me a thumbs up. “See you in a week Sis.”
I waved as they climbed into Lancey’s truck. “Bye guys. Have a safe trip.”
I watched as they drove down the long driveway and smiled over at Anna.
“Let the party begin!” Anna said, jumping up and down.
As much as I love my family, it was nice having some time to myself for a while.
My Personal Hell
March 2007
“I’m so excited!” My best friend, Anna squealed in my ear as we rushed through the hallway towards our second period Chemistry class. I knew what she was excited about, my older brother; Ares had asked her to prom last night over the phone, even though he had graduated three years ago, Anna and him had been dating for past last year.
“Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I know Anna. Your’e acting like Ares asked you to marry him.” I opened the door to room 203 and ushered her inside just as the bell rang. It was our senior year in high school and I could not help but feel a bit sad. I would miss this old building in the heart of Billings, Montana. Soon I would be off to Stanford, leaving my friends and my family behind.
I took my assigned seat next to my adorable boyfriend Alex. He is the picture of perfection. His blonde hair, tan skin and the most beautiful blue eyes in the county.
Alex’s hand immediately went to my thigh, an action almost expected now that we had lost our virginities to each other three weeks ago.
“Good morning my beautiful goddess.” Alex cooed in my ear. My heart instantly picked up its pace. I am undoubtedly and completely in love with Alexander Huffman. He is everything I could ever want in a boyfriend, husband and father of my future children.
“Good morning handsome. My family is still out of town. Do you want to come over after school and study?” Our definition of ‘studying’ was not the typical one. It included fondling and a lot of inappropriate sexual behavior.
Alex kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear, “Oh how I love our study sessions.”
Beside me, Anna jabbed me in the ribs with her elbow. “And you think Ares and I are bad. You should take a good look in the mirror girlfriend.”
I could not hide my wide smile as class began. I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. My parents were landing a huge cattle buy in Utah, which would grow our ranch even more, my boyfriend was perfect, and I had been accepted at Sanford and of course, Alex was joining me in California. Life was great.
After class had ended, Alex walked me to my locker. He leaned his tall frame down to kiss me lightly on the lips. “I love you my Greek goddess. I will see you at four.”
I always laughed at his analogy of ‘his Greek goddess’. My mother, Athena had been born in Greece and had the need to name Ares and me after Greek mythology.
I ran my hands up his sculpted chest and reached on my tiptoes to give him an even deeper kiss. My tongue lightly brushed his and he moaned in my mouth.
“Thea Farris please report to the office.” Miss Thomson, the high school principle, sang through the intercom.
“Shit” I said as I pulled away from Alex.
He just laughed and gave me a tap on the butt and said, “See you at four goddess”
I made my way through the hallway, wondering why I was being summoned. Maybe it had something to do with my acceptance to Sanford. Pulling open the heavy wood and glass door, I saw three state troopers talking to Miss Thompson.
Something was wrong; I could feel it in my skin. Miss Thompson looked up at me with tears in her eyes. “Oh my Thea” was all she said. Suddenly her arms were around me, squeezing the life out of my body.
“Miss Farris, please come with us.” One of the troopers said. Miss Thompson released me and patted me on the back.
“What is going on?” I looked at the trooper, hoping to get some answers.
“Miss, just please come with us.” I shook my head. Something wasn’t right. I wasn’t leaving until someone told me what the hell was going on.
“Tell me now.” I demanded. The trooper looked at his fellow troopers and gave them a slight nod.
“Please sit down Miss Farris” I stumbled backwards to find a chair that lined the wall of the office.
“There was an accident Miss. Your parents and brother were heading back from Utah in your father’s helicopter.” Tears suddenly welled up in my eyes. I couldn’t speak. All I could do was shake my head. He was lying. “The chopper went down about ten miles south of Grand Teton National Park. I’m sorry Miss Farris but there weren’t any survivors.”
All I could do was stare at the aging trooper. His hair was thinning and he had a bit of a gut on him. I noticed one of the buttons on his shirt was missing.
“Thea, did you hear what Troo
per Austin said?” Miss Thompson crouched down so that her face was level with mine, but I couldn’t take my eyes off that damn missing button. I could feel all eight eyes on me but I didn’t give a shit. My family was gone. All of them. My beautiful mother, with her dark hair and eyes, my father’s wicked grin, my brother’s addictive laugh, all gone.
I stood up and walked slowly to the door. I don’t remember how I got to my car or what I heard. I saw people approach me. I saw their lips moving and the concern in their eyes but I continued to crawl into my car, blocking them all out.
Awakening
October 2007
The sound of annoying beeping woke me. I tried to open my eyes but couldn’t. I felt cold and stiff. I began to panic. I knew I was lying down but I didn’t remember how I got there. I wasn’t at home, that much I was certain. The room felt like death. The aroma in the air was stale and suffocating.
I tried to open my eyes again and this time I felt them flutter slightly. Was I dead? Oh my god. My family was dead. Everything was gone. Sobs broke from my chest.
“Holy Shit Thea! She’s awake!” I heard Anna’s voice say. Where the hell was I? “Thea can you hear me?” Anna spoke again. I still couldn’t talk. I felt something foreign lodged in my throat. I opened my eyes wider but all I could see was darkness.
“Miss Farris, I’m going to take the breathing tube from your throat now and uncover your eyes.” A male voice said to me. Breathing tube? Why the hell do I need a breathing tube? Searing pain shot up through my throat. Oh, my god I was in hell and being tortured.
“Miss Walters, can you please step out of the room while I examine Thea?” The unfamiliar male voice spoke again. I heard a door open and close. My eyes were open at this point but all I could still see was darkness.
“Thea, I want you to close your eyes while I take off the bandage from your eyes. OK?” All I could do was nod. I was so confused. By this point, I knew I was in a hospital, but why? What happened? Was my family’s death real or a very bad dream? I could feel the medical tape peel off my forehead and cheeks.
“I want you to slowly open your eyes, Thea.” The man said. I did what he said and I was suddenly overwhelmed by light blinding me. “Give your eyes time to adjust. I'm Dr. Page and you let me know if you have any discomfort.” My eyes began to adjust to the lighting in the small hospital room.
“Water” I choked out. Dr. Page pressed a button on the side of my bed to elevate my head and pressed a glass to my lips. I took a long, painful swallow.
“Are you in any pain?” The Doctor asked. I evaluated my pain level. My body felt a bit achy and stiff. My head throbbed like hell and my hip felt like it wasn’t attached to my body anymore. As far as I could tell my body was intact but my heart was in pieces.
“Was it real?” I asked the doctor with a whisper.
“Was what real Thea, your accident?” My accident? What was this quack talking about?
“What accident?” I whispered.
Dr. Page pulled up a chair and sat down. “Thea,” He began with reluctance. “The day your family was killed, you drove home from school and crashed your car into a tree. You were ejected from the vehicle and have been here ever since.”
I tried to wrap my head around everything he was saying to me. It hadn’t been a dream. My whole family was gone and they weren’t coming back. I was alone.
Tears rolled down my eyes as I remembered earlier today when the troopers informed me of the worst day of my life. “What time is it? I need to get home and make arrangement for my family.” I sobbed out. I don’t think I can make it through this without Anna and Alex. They were my rocks and I was counting on them.
The Doctor cleared his throat. “There’s more Thea. You have been in a coma for seven months.” No, No this can’t be right. I could not have missed their funeral, my prom, my graduation, my birthday. I wanted to scream. I wanted to fight. I needed to get the hell out of here.
“It’s alright Thea. Everything was taken care of.” In a panic, I reached for the tubes hanging out of my arms. I ripped out the IV and the air tube in my nose before the doctor could stop me. Searing pain shot up my arm as I saw blood pouring out of where the needle had been.
“I need a nurse in here with a sedative. STAT.” The doctor shouted as he tried to hold my arms down. “Calm down Thea. You are safe.”
I wanted to punch him in the face and crawl out of this hell if I had to. “Let me go!” I tried to scream. I needed to scream. The pain in my chest was just too much for me to handle. I wanted to die. I wanted to crawl into a deep dark hole and forget everything.
“Thea, Thea!” Anna’s panicked voice cut through my weak screams. She ran across the room and embraced me into a tight hug as the doctor and nurse taped up my arm and injected it with a shot. “Oh god Thea, I’m so sorry!” Anna cried into my chest. I stared at the ceiling as the sedatives began to run through my system. Numb, just how I wanted to feel for the rest of my lonely life.
My Life
May 2010
I walked out onto the massive porch of my family home with a large steaming cup of fresh coffee. I looked down at the pills in my hand. For the past three years, I have relied on this shitty medication to get me through my days of depression. Today would be no different from the one thousand some odd days before it.
I placed the pills in my mouth and downed them with a sip of coffee.
It was still early in the morning as I looked up to the seven thousand acres of my family ranch. Farris Cattle Ranch and Stables had been in my family for over a hundred years and it was the most beautiful place in the world to me.
My brother, Ares’ truck was still parked in the same spot where he had left it three years ago and I hadn’t changed a thing about the house my parents had built when I was four years old. It was big and magnificent the way it was. The house was made of wood and stone and the porch wrapped around the whole perimeter. Sometimes I can still smell my mother’s cinnamon rolls and hear the laughter of my father floating up the staircase.
“Good Morning Doll” Lancey greeted me with a smile. He was my father’s best friend and the main caretaker of the land and cattle.
“Morning Lancey." How is everything running this morning?” I knew what his answer would be but I loved messing with the old man.
“Well a dozen or so cattle broke the gate last night and Mac and I had to herd them back but other than that, everything is peachy.” He gave me a crooked grin, a grin that always cheered me up.
I had heard him and Mac yelling this morning, which had woken me up. I just shook my head at him. Lancey was the hardest worker I had ever met, except for my father and brother of course.
“Going for a ride this morning darlin?” I sipped my coffee and nodded my head. I needed to clear my head and the only way I could manage that was going for a long ride on my favorite horse. “I’ll get Midnight saddled up while you get some breakfast. You’re too skinny darlin.” I rolled my eyes and shooed him away with my hand. I didn’t want him to start with me again about eating three meals a day. He was lucky I was eating at all.
I took one last look at my brother’s truck and paused. He loved that truck. It was a black 1987 Ford F-150 with big tires and blacked out windows. Ares had built it from the ground up and enjoyed every cut and bruise he suffered while doing it. He was supposed to go to mechanics school the summer after his death. My father always wanted Ares to stay here and learn how to run the family business but Ares always had his own plans.
Now I was the sole owner of Farris Cattle Ranch and Sables at the ripe age of twenty, well almost twenty-one. If it hadn’t been for Lancey, Mac and dozens of other workers, I would have lost the ranch years ago. I always made sure they were all generously compensated for their hard work and support. It wasn’t always about money with most of them though, they were my family now and of course Anna.
I walked into the large open kitchen and made myself two pieces of toast before Lancey got on my ass about a ‘balanced diet’ an
d then bolted out of the door when I heard my horse Midnight grunt. My father had given her to me on my fifteenth birthday and she is beautiful. She is black from head to toe. No marks, no discoloration, pure perfection.
“She’s ready whenever you are.” Lancey said while handing me the reins. I pointed at the piece of toast hanging out of my mouth.
“See I’m eating” I say with a mouthful. Lancey laughs his deep, throaty laugh and waited for me to stop chewing before he hoisted me onto Midnight.
“Glad to hear it darlin. You go enjoy the beautiful morning, ya hear?”
I give him a solute. “Yes sir” and pat Midnight on her mane.
It takes about a half an hour to get to the spot I wanted to go. There is a manmade pond that my father had put there some years after he had built our house. The pond wasn’t too big but it had clean, crystal clear water. It happened to be the same place I had lost my virginity to Alex some years ago. I don’t remember the exact date or time it happened, just the setting.
There is a small cottage on the edge of the pond next to the short dock. I remember sneaking away and making a bed out of soft blankets on the floor of the homely cottage. The rest was history, ancient history.
I dismounted Midnight and tied her rains to the nearest tree. I stared at the beautiful, calm water in front of me.
I had received an invitation from Alex yesterday for his engagement party. I was still in awe. After I had woken up from my coma, Alex had already moved to California and had moved on with his life.
Anna had told me that he stayed with me for a month or so before he finally stopped coming. He had explained to her that even though he loved me, he couldn’t see me like that. Nobody knew if I would even wake up. I understood how he felt but it didn’t stop the hurt that he caused my heart. I needed him when I woke up and when I did, he was gone.
Alex had written me letters and even called after he heard that I had woken up but things just weren’t the same. I still remember him saying, “I still love you Thea but I fell out of love with you a long time ago. We need to move on from this.” Alex never called me Thea, so I knew he was telling me the truth. Alex wasn’t in love with me anymore.
Within Miles Page 1
