by Amanda Ashby
“Yeah, well what about a refund if it turned everyone into zombies?” Mia demanded.
Algeria scoffed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said as she stepped back and fluttered her eyelashes, much the same way Grace did. It wasn’t a good look on a fifteen-year-old girl, and it was even worse on an evil old bat. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to do.”
“Oh, like turning even more people into zombies?” Mia retorted as Chase glared at her.
“Remember our little chat outside?” he said through a clenched jaw. “Because you’re really not helping matters.”
“That’s right. You should listen to your friend. I’m an honest businesswoman trying to make an honest living.”
“Well, you might find that hard if all your stock is impounded by the Department of Paranormal Containment.” Chase pulled out his BlackBerry and started to take pictures of the shop. “And my bosses will be especially interested to see that you have an Amstell 500 on the premises.”
“It’s good for cleaning crystals.” The old woman gave a defensive shrug.
“It’s also good for doing incarnations,” he said as he walked straight past her behind the counter, where he began to inspect a large machine up on the top shelf. “And I’m going to need to see the license for that KS10 up here.”
Mia glared at him. They were in the middle of a zombie crisis and he was worried about some stupid license for something that she’d never even heard of before?
“Fine,” the old woman muttered. “It’s in the back.”
“Chase, what are you doing? Because this is not the time to be following the rule book,” Mia hissed the minute the old woman had disappeared through the Elvis-beaded curtain.
“It’s okay, I’ve got it,” he assured her just as Algeria made her way back out and thrust a couple of pieces of paper at him.
“There. Like I said, I’m an honest businesswoman.”
“Honest?” Mia spluttered as Chase glared at her some more. “You let me turn my whole class into zombies. How is that honest? Now tell us how to reverse it or else.”
“Do I look like an amateur who would sell reversible rituals?” Algeria demanded as she waved an arthritic finger at her. “Pah. My rituals are foolproof.”
“You are unbelievable.” Mia clutched at the counter. “What kind of person would do that?”
“The kind who likes money,” Algeria retorted. “And now I think it’s time you leave. I’ve got wards set all over this place and if you cause me any violence or distress, let’s just say it won’t bode well for you.”
Okay, this was not good news.
Especially since Algeria’s finger had gone a glowy red color, and while Mia had no idea what a ward was, since the woman was capable of selling innocent teenage girls zombie spells, she was probably capable of anything.
She took a wobbly step back from the old woman and looked over to Chase for any ideas. “So what does the department recommend in situations like this?”
“Running,” Chase replied as he grabbed her hand and quickly headed for the door. “Whenever a Chaos Maker threatens physical harm, the department is a big fan of running.”
They darted out of the store and came to a puffing halt by Chase’s car.
“Oh, God. That woman is crazy. Did you see her eyes? And her finger looked like it was going to start zapping sparks.” Mia leaned against the Impala. “On the other hand, we’re back to square one. Are you sure we shouldn’t have just tried to attack her? I mean, how much would one of those ward things really hurt?”
“A lot,” Chase assured her as he pulled a small black book out of his pocket and waved it in the air. “And anyway, I thought I told you that I had it.”
Mia widened her eyes at the sight of the velvet-covered book. “You got it? I thought you meant you had it under control; I didn’t realize you were being literal. How did you even get it?”
Chase shot her a rare smile and she realized he had dimples. Huh. He should smile more often—it suited him.
“So where to now? What ingredients do we need? Because the sooner this is over with the . . . Why do you have your serious face on again?” Mia demanded as she realized Chase was no longer smiling. In fact, he looked downright grim as he quickly started to flip through the book.
“We have a problem,” he said.
“Yes, I know,” she agreed. “Two hundred zombie students. But—”
“No.” He cut her off with a shake of his head. “We have a new problem. This entire book is written in Latin.”
“Latin?” Mia wrinkled her nose and studied the pages. “Why would it be in Latin?”
“To stop department agents like myself from translating it, I guess.” Chase shrugged. “And if that was the plan, then it’s definitely worked since my Latin is a little rusty. Actually, it’s nonexistent. I’m sorry, Mia, I really thought we had a chance to—”
“Don’t say it.” She shook her head. “Don’t even think it.”
“Mia, this book has over a hundred pages, and I don’t even know where the right spell is, let alone how to translate it.”
“Well, what about your department?”
He shook his head and frowned. “We just don’t have the resources. Especially if the virus is going to hit stage four tomorrow.”
“What do you mean you don’t have the resources? What sort of place is it?”
“Strangely enough, not everyone wants to fight paranormal creatures. Recruitment is an issue. As is funding. I promise you I’m not trying to be difficult, and if there was any other way I—”
“Candice!” Mia suddenly turned to him. “That’s it.”
“Look.” Chase reached out and squeezed her hand in what she guessed was a standard zombie-hunter manner when a civilian was about to have a freak-out. “I know how much you want to save your friend, but—”
“No, I don’t mean that. I mean that Candice could help us.”
“Why, can she speak Latin?”
“Yes, actually, she can,” Mia informed him before amending. “Well, she can read it anyway. Apparently loads of medical jargon is still in Latin. Do you know what St. Anthony’s fire is?”
“No.” He shook his head and looked perplexed.
“Well, I didn’t either, but apparently it’s some medieval disease,” Mia confessed. “The thing is, Candice thought she had it, and she totally found out how to cure it, but it was all written in Latin, so guess what? She translated it. Of course, in the end, it was because her new bra was too tight for her and it was crushing her chest and making her feel faint, but that’s not the point. The point is that when it comes to Latin, she knows her stuff. Please, Chase, can you just put the rule book away for a minute and let us at least try?”
For a moment he frowned before merely reaching down and opening up the passenger-side door of the Impala. “Fine, let’s just hope she really is as good as you say she is.”
eight
“I’m a what?” Candice spluttered into her Diet Coke.
“Keep your voice down,” Mia warned as she glanced around the cafeteria where she had finally found her friend and tried not to notice how busy it was. Especially since the food was so diabolically bad that it was normally half empty. Either the students wanted to be near her or they wanted to eat the gross, fatty burgers. Right now Mia didn’t quite know which was worse. At least she had convinced Chase to let her talk to Candice alone, since it was difficult to say just how her friend would take the news.
“Keep my voice down?” her friend screeched. “How do you expect me to do that when you’ve just told me I’m a zombie?”
Okay, so she wasn’t taking it well. Though to be fair, neither had Mia, so she couldn’t really hold it against her.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, and seriously I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am that it’s happened, but I’m afraid it’s true. You’re turning into a zombie,” Mia said as Candice put down the rest of her drink and held her hands up to her eyes.
“Oh, this is bad.” Candice moaned in a loud voice. “So bad. I can’t believe how bad this is. Do you know how it feels to have a life-threatening disease? I mean, I could die.”
“But you think you have a life-threatening disease every week,” Mia reminded her friend, but Candice waved it off.
“Oh, puh-lease. I knew those things weren’t real, but this? Oh my God, I’m going to die,” her friend continued to lament, and a few people looked over.
“Candice. Candice,” Mia repeated, this time shaking her arm. “You’re not going to die, because . . . Oh my God. Gross. Did you just lick my fingers?”
“Sorry.” Her friend broke off from her wailing for a moment and thoughtfully ran her tongue around her lips as if to savor the taste. “I think it’s the disease. It’s taking over my body. I can’t control it.”
“Well, you’d better control it,” Mia retorted as she wiped her fingers on a napkin. “Because that was the most disgusting thing. Ever. No more finger licking.”
“Okay, so tell me the worst. How much longer do I have?”
“Until tomorrow at lunchtime.” Mia winced. “Look, I can’t begin to imagine how hard this must be, but—”
“Hard? It’s more than hard, it’s . . . Hang on a minute.” Candice suddenly looked up and narrowed her eyes. “Why can’t you imagine what it’s like? You were the one who did the spell, so you must be a turning into a bone-munching brain-sucker, too.”
“Apparently the brain-sucking thing is a myth,” Mia explained before gulping. “And it turns out that because I did the spell, I’m sort of immune to the virus. Instead I’ve become the queen.”
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” Candice shot her a dangerous glare. “Are you telling me that I get to be turned into a zombie and you get to be queen?”
“Yeah, it’s just great being queen. I’m having so much fun that it’s unbelievable.” Mia folded her arms as the events of the morning unraveled in her mind. “I turn you all into zombies, and in return you guys love me so much that you want to make me get really fat so that you can eat me.”
“Oh.” Candice looked a bit appeased. “Well, I guess as long as you didn’t get off scot-free, it’s okay. Anyway, how do you know all this stuff? Don’t tell me there is a hidden Buffy episode that I missed?”
Mia shook her head. “Actually, it’s Chase Miller. Would you believe he’s a zombie hunter?”
Candice looked surprised. “New Boy? Wow, I never saw that one coming. Talk about hidden depths. Cute and committed.”
“I don’t know why you keep saying he’s cute. I mean, I guess he’s okay. But don’t you think he’s too tall? Not to mention serious. Oh, and he likes to do everything by the book.”
“Works for me. So how come he didn’t get the virus?”
“He’s immune to the disease, too. Apparently he’s got some sort of mutant gene. It’s hereditary.”
“Oh, did he say what kind?” Candice was momentarily distracted as she looked up with interest.
“I’m guessing the mutant kind,” Mia answered before pulling the black book out of her bag. “But in the meantime, if we can forget about Chase and his genes, we’ve got to concentrate so we can get the cure for this thing so no one has to die.”
“There’s a cure?” Candice straightened her spine and shot her a reproachful glance. “Why didn’t you say so right at the beginning? Sheesh, Mia, next time this happens, try giving me the good news first, please.”
“Okay, so first up, there isn’t going to be a next time, and when I said there’s a cure, the thing is that technically no one has ever done it before,” Mia was forced to admit. “The problem is, we need to get a list of the ingredients from the original spell but the book we stole from Algeria is all written in Latin.”
“You stole her book? I’m not sure that’s very wise. She needs that book to work her magic.”
“Candice, her magic turned you into a Z-O-M-B-I-E,” Mia reminded her friend in a low voice before passing over the book. “Anyway, if you could translate it for us, then we might have a chance of fixing this thing.”
“Let me see that.” Candice suddenly pushed away the remains of her lunch and cleared the table space in front of her.
“Well?” Mia caught her breath as Candice continued to study it before finally looking up.
“This might take a while but I’m pretty sure I can do it.”
“You can?” Mia felt a surge of relief flow through her. “That’s great. What can I do to help?”
“You can go and get me another burger. Oh, and hold the bread. And the cheese . . . ”
“Are these people insane?” Mia demanded fifteen minutes later as yet another student came up and gave her food. This time it was a packet of M&Ms and she looked at the growing pile in the middle of the table. How they thought she was going to eat all this stuff was anyone’s guess. Next to her, Chase, who had joined them not long after Candice had started working on the translation, glanced around and frowned.
“What’s wrong?” she demanded. “You’re not thinking of doing anything gassy are you?”
“You make it sound like I want to kill these people.” Chase looked offended. “Trust me, I hope just as much as you do that this reversal works. But if it doesn’t, then—”
“I know. You need to follow procedure and do your job.” Mia sighed as she unconsciously ripped the M&Ms open and popped a red one into her mouth.
For a moment Chase clenched his jaw before nodding. “Well, I’m glad you understand. Anyway, have you noticed how many seniors are in here? And they’re all eating a lot of meat.”
Mia stood up and peered around. Chase was right. She pulled out her spray bottle and gave herself another squirt. Two seconds later, about fifty seniors all stood up and pretended to squirt themselves.
“Did you see that?” she demanded. “First they want to eat me and now they want to mock me, too?”
“It’s their duty to follow you as much as possible,” Chase explained.
“Until it’s time for dinner,” Mia reminded him as she looked over her shoulder. All the seniors in the room followed suit. Great, zombie lemmings. Perhaps she should just lead them all over the edge of a cliff? Apart from the fact that she wasn’t exactly a fan of heights. Or cliff jumping, for that matter. She ate some more candy.
“Carno. Carn. Carni,” Candice muttered before glancing up and grinning. Mia tried to ignore the bits of meat that were stuck in her friend’s teeth. “Oh hey, Chase, I didn’t see you there. I really like that shirt.”
Mia blinked. Was Candice flirting? In the middle of a zombie crisis?
“Er, thanks.” He flushed and studied his fingers.
“Yeah, it really brings out the green in your eyes and . . . What? Why are you looking at me like that, Mia?”
“Because the sooner we get this reversal spell done, the sooner things can go back to normal. So how’s it going?”
Candice frowned. “She has some awesome spells in here. There is one that lets you turn your entire family into slugs. I mean, that’s just plain mean.”
“What about the Viral Zombaticus?” Chase looked concerned. “Have you managed to find that yet?”
“Yup, it was right in the middle of the book. She even had a little scary face drawn on it.” Candice held up the book before catching their expressions. “Okay, fine, I’ll start translating the ingredients,” she muttered as she turned her attention back to her Latin books. Mia nodded for Chase to follow her over to the next table so they wouldn’t disturb her anymore.
“You’re doing a good job of holding it together,” he said unexpectedly.
Mia looked at him in surprise. She wondered if that was in the handbook under “How to Calm Freaked-Out Zombie Queens.”
“Thanks. So, how did you even get into this business?” she asked as she passed over the M&Ms, and he helped himself to a couple of blue ones. For a moment he paused and studied the candy before finally looking back up at her, his green eyes
meeting hers.
“When I was fifteen, the school I went to in Boston had a zombie outbreak. But because I was immune, I didn’t get turned, and somehow I managed to get out of there without becoming someone’s eleven o’clock snack.”
“Oh my God. What happened to everyone else?”
“By the time the department had finished containing it, there was only one person left. Me.”
Mia looked at him blankly for a moment. “But I don’t understand—if no one was left, what about Audrey? I’m sure you said you both went to school together, so how did she—”
“Escape the virus?” Chase finished off before shaking his head and not quite meeting her gaze. “She didn’t. Audrey got infected just like everyone else.”
“Oh,” Mia said inadequately. Audrey was a zombie? Well, she hadn’t seen that one coming.
“I tried to save her.” His voice was tight and his face curiously devoid of emotion. “I thought if I could just keep her safe that we would find a cure. I’d known her since we were eight. We grew up together. I figured there had to be a way.”
“So what happened?” Mia’s voice wasn’t much more than a whisper, but Chase shook his head.
“Someone from the department killed her just in time.” He held out his arm and lifted his shirt sleeve to reveal a long red scar that ran all the way up his forearm.
She sucked in her breath. “I truly had no idea. I just saw your face when you were telling me about her and thought you were still—”
“It’s okay. It’s been a long time since I’ve really talked about her; it was actually easier than it used to be.”
“So what happened after that?” Mia could hardly bring herself to ask.
“The department tested me to see why I had survived and when they discovered my immunity, they stopped trying to cover it up and recruited me to help out when I could. On a part-time basis, of course, because my folks refused to let me drop out of school.”
“You’ve been doing this part-time since you were fifteen?” When Mia was fifteen, she had been fighting with Candice over who loved Adam Brody more. Come to think of it, they still did that now. “But what about the other things you wanted to do with your life?”
