The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress

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The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress Page 58

by Stein, Gertrude


  This then of coming to be whole ones sometimes in them which is sometime in mostly all men and women, this is very interesting. Some as I was saying never come really to be a whole one inside them not at any time in their living not in their beginning, not in their middle living, not in their ending. These are of many kinds, some have it that they never come to be a whole one in them because they are made of little lumps of one kind of being held together or separated from each other, as one comes to feel it in them, the lumps in them from each other by other kind of being in them, sometimes by other kind of being in them that is almost the complete opposite of the lumps in them, some because, the lumps are melting always into the surrounding being that keeps the lumps from touching, in some because the kind of being in them is spread out so thin in them, that everything they have learned, that they like to be in living, all reaction to everything interesting, in them, has really nothing to do in them with the thin spread being in them. There are other ones who have many kinds of being in them and none ever really dominating, and there are many kinds of ways of being so that at no time really such a one is a whole one in them but really mostly every one sometime comes together in them to be a whole one, in some part of their living, sometimes earlier in their living in loving or in working and then later in their living in natural development of themselves settling in them. There are many ways of disguising the whole being in each one, some have a stronger disguise in their beginning than in their middle living or in their ending. Soon now there will be some discussing of the disguising of whole being in young living.

  Some as I was saying never come to be whole ones inside them. Some are always whole ones though the being in them is all a mushy mass with a skin to hold them in and so make one. Such a one is a whole one and of such a one I am now beginning a description.

  These others I have been describing that have it in them to be made some of lumps of one kind of being held together by other kind of being in them, some where all the kinds of being are mingling in them, some where there are little lumps of being and none of them connected with the other lumps that are part of them, and all the other kinds of them that never have it in them to be a whole one inside them not at any time in their living, though they may be active enough in living, these then all of them are very different from the one I am now beginning describing.

  This one, the one I am now beginning describing was of the independent dependent kind of them, this one was of that kind of them, the independent dependent kind of them, the mass that in the different kinds of them was worked into different concentrations to make them. This one then that I am now describing, and always there are many existing like this one, this one then was a whole one; and all those having independent dependent being have the kind of material being that is the whole of this one.

  Sometime there will be a description of a complete undifferentiated one that is of the dependent independent kind of them. Now there will be a little description of this one a completely undifferentiated independent dependent one, and then there will be a description of how Martha Hersland was made like this one only more concentrated in her being and then there will be the history of the beginning of being in Martha Hersland.

  This one then, this one that is a whole one, a mushy mass of independent dependent being with a skin holding it together from flowing away from this one, holding it together to make of this a whole one, this one then is a real one, and always there are many living just like this one in their being, though each one of them is a whole one, separate and yet very resembling the one to the other one, and each one is an individual one to themselves and each one is a whole one.

  This one then is a whole one, is all of one kind of one and all of it in this one, the being in this one is of the same consistency and concentration. This one is of the independent dependent kind of being.

  This one always is and was and will be a whole one, always in this one's beginning, in this one's middle living, in this one's ending, always this one was a whole one, the same kind of whole one from the being a baby to the being a dying and dead one. Always this one is a whole one and this is now some description of this one.

  It is interesting to see the substance that is independent dependent beings in so many ways in so many kinds of men and women, it is interesting to see this substance that has so many kinds of ways of being in many kinds in men and women, it is interesting to see it completely fluid in this one, to see all its activities in this one, sometimes it is an uncomfortable feeling to know it so well from this one when one is knowing some kinds of men and women having in them independent dependent being, sometimes it makes one turn away from seeing the being in some so that one will not know it too clearly in them that they have in them independent dependent being and that is the being in the one I am now beginning to be describing. Independent dependent being is the being in the one I am now beginning describing. There will not be here now much description of this one, there will be here now a little description of this one and how this one was a whole always in all the living of this one, in the beginning, in the middle living, in the ending of this one. There will be a very little description now of this one and then a real beginning of Martha Hersland who is of the independent dependent kind of them.

  This one then was as I was saying always a whole one. This one was a whole one always, a whole one because there was only one kind of being in this one always in the same lax condition and with a skin to separate it from the world around this one. This made of this one a whole one.

  This one is very existing to my feeling. This one is of the independent dependent kind of them. This one was always a whole one, this one all her living was repeating the whole being there was in this one and it was all always completely there to every one, the whole being in this one, to every one who ever knew this one, always there to every one when this one was a baby or a little one, or a young girl or a young woman, or a woman in her middle living, or in her ending. There are always very very many women, very many men like this one, always existing. This one was and is and will be always a real one to every one that ever knew or knows or will come to know this one. This one is a real one in herself and to every one. This one is of the independent dependent kind of them. This one all her living was always a complete one and every one always knew the whole being of this one. This is now some description of this one.

  This one is then of the independent dependent kind of them, this one is all independent dependent being in solution. Of this one now I will give a very little description.

  This one is all independent dependent being in solution, this is now a little description of this one, one of the independent dependent kind of them, one always all her living always a whole one, one being independent dependent being in solution, one being all her living always of the same concentration of being, the same whole one, when this one was a baby, a young one, an older one and then an old one and then dying and then no longer one and always then there are others like this one. Always there are many many millions of every kind of men and women and this makes many stories very much realler, there being so many always of the same kind of them. It makes it realler then when in a story there are twelve women, all alike, and one hundred men, all alike, and a man and a woman completely resembling the one to the other one of them and always then it makes circuses, more interesting for always then each one doing something in a circus is a kind of men or women and each one is completed, concentrated at the moment each one has the music stopped and does the hard thing one has been preparing all his life and that makes a living for that one, makes the living of that one; this is then very interesting and always circuses more and more are interesting to any one interested in kinds in men and women and now to begin again with this one the one that was of the independent dependent kind of them, that was all independent dependent being in a flabby state of being, that was always a whole one for this one had a skin that held this one from flowing over everything and that made this one a whole one, that m
ade this one an individual one as every one is who ever is a man or woman and so then this one is a real one and now there will be of this one here now a very little description.

  This one was then once a very little one, a baby and then a little one and then a young girl and then a woman and then older and then later there was an ending to her and that was the history of this one.

  This one always was the same one to herself and to every one when she was a very little one, a baby, and then a little one and then a bigger one and then a very considerably bigger one and then a sick one and then no longer one.

  This one was always the same whole one to herself and to every one when she was a very little one, then when she was a little one, when she was then a bigger, when she was a very considerably bigger one and then when she was just continuing and then when she was ending and dying.

  This one always then was the same one, sometimes she was bigger than at other times, sometimes she was fatter, sometimes she was sicker, sometimes she had children around her, always she was held together to be one, to be a whole one by the skin of her, always she was of the independent dependent kind of them, always this was all the history of her.

  In some the nature in them is clearer when they are very young, in some when they are young, in some when they are not so young, in some when they are getting older, in some when they are old ones. This one was always to every one the same one. This one always was the same one. When this one was a little one, a very little one, an older one, a very old one, always this one was the same one, always this one was all independent dependent being in solution. Knowing this one completely is then a very important thing, knowing this one completely will make it easier to know all of the men and women having in them independent dependent being, all the kinds there are of independent dependent kinds in men and women.

  This one then was in the beginning a little baby and then a little girl and then a woman and always every one knew all the being in this one, the being that was never changing in concentration or in action. This one was a flabby mass of independent dependent being held together by the skin surrounding for so this one had individual being. This one then was one that had this meaning, the being all independent dependent being in possibility of formation. This one then was a very important one, there are always many millions of them living and each one of them is held together as a whole one by the skin of each one. This one then is independent being in solution.

  As I was saying those having independent dependent being have attacking as their way of fighting, loving, winning. Resisting in such of them as I was saying is mostly in them stupid being. This is the natural being in them. This one was so slow always in her attacking that it mostly was resisting in her as it mostly, the attacking being in this one, just was barely in motion.

  This one was of the independent dependent kind of them, attacking being was so slow in action that it made of this one a mass that was resisting, that was mostly all stupid being. This one was as I was saying of the independent dependent kind of them. This one started somewhere into action, it all would be slowly wobbling and so make what was attacking being but any one coming against this one would only be feeling it as a mass to stick in and so think it as a mass resisting, really this one was of the independent dependent kind of them, really this one had attacking as a way of fighting, as a way of loving. This one was a whole one because this one was held together by a skin, as I was saying. This one always was a whole one, when this one was a young one, a very young one, an older one, a very old one. This one was like many other men and women, this one was like many many other men and women as having independent dependent being. This one then was like very many other babies when this one was a baby too, this one was like many other children when this one was a child, this one was like many other young men and young women when this one was a young woman, this one was like many other men and women when this one was a woman, this one was like many other old men and old women when this one was an old woman, this one was different from all the others of them for this one had her own skin and so was separated from all the others of them that have or had or will have the same kind of being to make them, they each one of them are different from all the others of them like them for each one, every one, has their own skin that cuts them off from all the other ones and so each one, even of this kind of them, are individual ones, whole ones to themselves and to everyone; this one was like many very many men and women, this one was like all of them that have in them independent dependent being, that have in them anything of independent dependent being. This one then is interesting, knowing this one is then an important thing. I know this one very completely in the whole being of this one. This one is then the simplest form of independent dependent being. Every one having in them anything of independent dependent being is connected with this one then by the being in that one and by the being in this one. This is then now the beginning of really knowing independent dependent being in every one ever having in them any of such being. More and more there will be much description of independent dependent being. More and more I will know more of independent dependent being. More and more there will be more understanding in every one of independent dependent being.

  Some have their real being in them in young living, some do not have it then in them. Now there will be some description of young living in some.

  Some have their real being in them in very young living, some do not have it then in them. Now there will be a little description of very young living in one.

  This one, and the one I am now beginning describing is Martha Hersland and this is a little story of the acting in her of her being in her very young living, this one was a very little one then and she was running and she was in the street and it was a muddy one and she had an umbrella that she was dragging and she was crying. “I will throw the umbrella in the mud,” she was saying, she was very little then, she was just beginning her schooling, “I will throw the umbrella in the mud” she said and no one was near her and she was dragging the umbrella and bitterness possessed her, “I will throw the umbrella in the mud” she was saying and nobody heard her, the others had run ahead to get home and they had left her, “I will throw the umbrella in the mud,” and there was desperate anger in her; “I have throwed the umbrella in the mud” burst from her, she had thrown the umbrella in the mud and that was the end of it all in her. She had thrown the umbrella in the mud and no one heard her as it burst from her, “I have throwed the umbrella in the mud,” it was the end of all that to her.

  It is very hard telling from any incident, in any one's living what kind of being they have in them. Kinds in being is a subject that is very puzzling. Martha Hersland had independent dependent being but this that I have just been telling might have been in the living of a little one having independent dependent being, might have been in the living of a little one having dependent independent being, might have been in the living of a little one having a mixture in its being. This then was in the living of Martha Hersland when she was a little one but as I was saying it is very hard to know from anything in any one's living the kind of being in them. Slowly some one comes to know the being in some one. Slowly then now every one reading will know all the being in Martha Hersland. This is then a beginning.

  Some have the real being in their living in their young living, some do not have it then in them. Now there will be some description of young living in some.

  Sometime there will be a history of all young living, feeling, talking, thinking, being. Some have their real being mostly in their young living, some do not have it then at all in them. Later there will be a history of all these, of every one.

  There are many ways of making kinds in men and women when they are in their beginning when they are children. They are then each one of them like some others, like some other children, they are each one of them something of themselves then, always somehow a little, some much very much, themselves inside them, each one, and each one are like many other ones, many ot
her children. There are many ways of making kinds in men and women in their beginning, there are many ways of making kinds in children. In each way of making kinds of them there is a different system, a different way of feeling, a different way of thinking them as being resembling one to others of them. Martha Hersland as I was saying was of the independent dependent kind of them. Martha knew in her early living a certain number of children, some I have already been describing, now there will be more history of some, more history of others of them. As I was saying Martha was throwing the umbrella in the mud with angry feeling as she was telling and nobody was hearing. As I was saying no one knowing this as having been Martha's way of acting then when she a little one was filled full of angry feeling, with despairing feeling, with responsible feeling, with frightened feeling, no one then could be very certain of the kind of being Martha had in her. Not any one could know then whether Martha was of the kind of them having attacking as their natural being, the kind of them having resisting as their natural being. Some have their real being in young living, some do not have it then in them. In those having it then strongly in them sometime some one watching them can know it in them. Mostly it is harder to know it in them then in their beginning than in their later young living. Always it is a difficult thing, in some it is almost impossible in their beginning living to know the being in them, in some it is easy then. Now there will be a little description of young living in some.

 

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