The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress

by Stein, Gertrude

  This kind of them as I have been saying are those having in them attacking passion. As I was saying I know just now pretty well three of them. I know too this one that I am now describing, that makes then four of them. In a way as I am saying Redfern was one of such of them. There are some connected with this kind of them that have this being in them passionate attacking as highly suggestible emotion in them. That is one kind of them, sometime there will be much description of such of them. Some are connected with this kind of them that have it in them to be so stupidly in them that it really makes of them that all their life they are obstinately resisting everything, these are connected with Mrs. Redfern, these are connected with Julia Dehning, these can sometimes sometime in their living get an impression but mostly all of their living they are obstinately resisting losing their attacking passion. There will sometime necessarily be very much description of them. Then there are some who have attacking passion so sensitively so delicately in them that mostly they are delicately vibrating and only sometime is the thing going fast enough in them to make such of them really attacking. Some of such of them are very lovely ones in all their feeling living, sometime there will be a long description of a lovely one. These then will be leading to a whole group having in them flavor realising as complete existing and sometime I will tell so very much about such a kind of them. And then there is the group that do not have it at all as passion but as affection as I was saying. And then there are some that are steadily pressing in attacking, some who perhaps in their living are always really winning. Then there are some in whom passion is emotion before it can be acting as passion and all these groups are of course extremely interesting. Now I am describing one group of this group of them who have it in them to have attacking passion in them and some have it in them poignantly and they are weak in living, and some have it poignantly and their natures are not abundant in them and some have it in them poignantly and they are rich in beginning and they are always all their living in beginning and some have it poignantly in them and are rich in being and are rich in developing in being and in living and some have it poignantly in them and nothing is good enough to hold them and some have it poignantly in them and they are not strong enough to keep anything and some are practical with it and some are not at all practical not even sensible with it and some do not have it poignantly in them and this musician Alfred Hersland knew in his younger living was one of such of them.

  I like thinking about kinds of them in men and women. I like feeling men and women each one as of one kind of them and that I can that sometime I will know others like them. It makes it to me a very pleasant world for living. It makes it simple to be certain that each one every one has their own being in them that each one every one is of a kind in men and women and that always there are existing very many of each of these kinds of them. This is a pleasant thing for me to have as certain in me. I know then there can be a history of each one and of all kinds all the kinds in men and women. This is a pleasant feeling, this is comforting to me just now when I am thinking of every one always growing older and then dying, now when I am thinking about each one being sometime a sick one each one being sometime a dead one. This gives to me then a pleasant feeling knowing kinds in men and women now when I am thinking that sometime each one will be an old one and then each one will be a dead one. I can understand that knowing there are kinds in men and women would not be a comfort to every one. I can understand this thing. I have it in me as a very pleasant feeling that always there are kinds in men and women and always there are very many existing of each kind of them. I have it in me then as I am saying this thing as a very pleasant feeling as a pleasant complete feeling, as a completely contenting feeling and I am knowing sometime each one will be a dead one and I am knowing each one has their own being in them and I am knowing each one is one of a kind in men and women and as I am saying I am having a pleasant completely completed feeling and always then it is a comfortable and calming thing this being certain that each one is one of a kind of them in men and women and that there are always very many of each kind existing, that each one has their own being in them is then completely interesting, that each one sometime is to be a dead one is then not discouraging, and so then I am having a completely pleasant and completed feeling, I who am completely certain that each one is of a kind in men and women, I who am always almost always knowing several of each kind of them I come to know in living, I who am expecting sometime perhaps to be knowing all there ever can be, were or are or will be of kinds in men and women. I have then even with sombre certain feeling that each one is always an older one and sometime a dead one I have then knowing each one is of one kind in men and women I have then a pleasant feeling, a contented a completed feeling as I have been saying. I have a quiet sombre feeling I have not so much an afraid feeling in being living now when I am certain, and I am knowing them, that there are a number of kinds in men and women, not such a great number of them, quite a number of them. Each one is themselves inside them, each one every one is of a kind in men and women. This is to me a completely satisfying thing. I am beginning again now to describe one kind of them, one of one kind in men and women.

  This musician, whom as I was saying Alfred Hersland knew in his younger living was of the sensitive passionate attacking kind in men and women but passion was not really poignant in him, sensitiveness was very spread out in him, to himself and to mostly every one passion was poignant in him and he could be ruining himself by loving but passion was not poignant in him and in a way this made him a very good musician, sensitiveness was in him and not concentration and this is a kind of them that to very many knowing them are those who are not successful because of passion and of weakness in them. Mostly those of this kind of them who have passion as poignant in them they have a different way of not succeeding, they do not come so nearly to succeeding, they do not appear again when they have gone down with the sensitive passionate weakness in them, they have less power of recuperation. Some of these succeed very well in living, there certainly are some of every kind there is in men and women who succeed very well in living, very many of this kind of them come very nearly to completely succeeding, very many of them have very much weakness, I am getting a little diffused about them, I have several in me all at once and they are crowding and they are coming out as a facile mixing and I am beginning again now with each one of them.

  Very many of this kind as I have been saying have not passion poignantly in them, very many of this kind of them have passion very poignantly in them, all of this kind of them are very sensitive in being, they are all of the sensitive passionate attacking kind in men and women. Two of those who were and are crowded in me just now are of the kind of them not having the passion poignantly in them. Three of those that were crowding each other in me of this kind of them are of the poignant kind in passion of this kind of them. I will go on a little with these poignant kind of them and then I will go on with Arragon the musician who had not passion as poignant in him.

  To begin then again. To begin with those having passion poignantly in them of the sensitive passionate attacking kind in men and women, the sensitive passionate attacking independent dependent kind in men and women.

  This one that I am now thinking about describing had passion poignantly in him that is certain. He had the conviction of being always completely creating everything in his living. He had passion poignantly in him that is certain, he was creating some part of his living, he certainly was not in any way completely creating all the living he had in him. Very often he was certain that he would be creating everything in his living if there were not so many things to make him nervous to disturb him. Mostly to himself he certainly could be creating everything in his living. He certainly did create something of his living, he certainly had passion poignantly in him. As I was saying to himself he was completely creating all his living, not that to himself he really was creating all his living for always and that he was always feeling he had very much to make a nervous restless pers
on of him, but certainly he was to himself a being that could be creating everything in all his living. Passion was poignantly in him that is certain, he did create something in his living that is certain, more and more in his living he was having nervousness in him and not creating everything in his living in the way that to himself it was certain he could be creating everything in all his living. Always more and more then it was right for him to be seizing creating everything he could be seizing creating in his living. More and more then he had this in him, always all his living he certainly was creating something of his living, always lie was certain he could be creating everything in all of his living, always he had nervousness in him and this was to him that things were interfering to keep him back from creating everything in his living and so more and more he would be seizing creating anything and so more and more to every one he was such a one and more and to himself, always to himself he was one who should be creating everything in all his living. This is then a complete history of him. Passion was certainly poignantly in him, he certainly was not ever creating everything in his living, he was to himself one who certainly could be creating everything in all his living, he was then one who always more and more in his living would be seizing creating anything. This then is a complete history of one, a very complete history of one and I am understanding this complete history of this one.

  Every one has their own being in them, every one is of a kind in men and women. Only a very little sometimes this is not an important thing inside me to me. Sometimes it is not an important thing inside me, sometimes it is a little a dreary thing, making of everything that there is not anything inspiriting to be a live one. Sometimes it is a little this way in me but mostly always it is an important thing inside me that every one is their own self inside them, that every one is of a kind of men and women. Always to me, to be a dead one is a sombre thing, to be certain that it is existing, always there has been in me the being very much afraid of this thing, always it is to me a sombre thing in living, sometime later in the history of David Hersland there will be very much description of this sombre feeling in some. Mostly as I am repeating it is an important thing inside me that each one is themselves inside them that each one is of a kind in men and women. Mostly and I am saying it again and again it is an important thing, always an important thing, mostly always an important thing. Each one is themselves inside them, each one is one of a kind in men and women, this is an important thing always in my living, it is sometimes a very pleasant feeling, it is very often a very pleasant feeling in me, mostly always it is completely an important thing inside me. I am living, I am certain, I am important in me in my realising that each is themselves inside them that each one is of a kind in men and women, I have very often a very pleasant feeling, I have sometimes a very sombre feeling. I have just now a good deal a quite sombre feeling. I am beginning now again telling, feeling, being certain of the kind of being there is in one kind in men and women. Always each one is to me completely their own selves inside them, I have never a sombre feeling that that is not a certain thing. Always each one is themselves inside them, always each one is of a kind in men and women Always kinds are connected with other kinds in men and women. Sometimes I want to be describing lots and lots of kinds in men and women, I want to be going on and on and describe one and then another one and then connections between them and then perhaps I am mistaken and I am hurrying and crowding and then I am not certain and then I am wondering perhaps it is not completely an important thing, perhaps not anything is inspiriting in living, but always in me really I am certain that it is an important thing in me and I am telling that each one has always their own being in them that every one is one of a kind in men and women, mostly then this in me is important feeling, mostly this is in me pleasant and exciting, sometimes there is in every sombre feeling, always there is in me that it is interesting that each one is themself inside them that each one is of a kind in men and women. Mostly always I am important with this thing.

  I am important with this thing. There is a kind of them then of the attacking kind of them that I have been describing. These have sensitive passion in them. In some it is a very poignant thing in them, in some it is not such a poignant thing. I have described one in whom it was a poignant thing. In some in whom it is a poignant thing it is religion in them, in some it is denying in them, in some it is aspiration and these are disappointed idealists in living but this is not what I am telling, I am describing now a musician, one having a very good concentrating intelligence in him, a spread out vibrating sensitiveness in him, an aspiration to be religious and exalted in all feeling, a wanting to be always loving, a succeeding in being very often very complicated in much loving, a success in living and then a good deal of failing and then a very great deal of failing and then not altogether failing. As I was saying passionate being was not poignant in him, he had a very great deal of it in him, he was a good musician, he was a foreign one, he was in Gossols and then he was not altogether failing not altogether succeeding, there he was living, he was to very many knowing him an adventurer in living, really he was one not having passion as very poignant in him but having in him a good deal of it in him of this non-poignant passion, a very great deal of sensitiveness and aspiration in doing much loving and perhaps having religion, not so very much aspiration for succeeding or failing.

  Alfred Hersland as I said in beginning about his knowing this man came to know him when Alfred was coming to the beginning of the ending of his young living. This one was then a little important to him, not very important to him, not any one was very important to him then, he was slowly growing up then and he had his being in him and he had it as being that at that time in his living not any one was very important to him, this friend and teacher was as important as any one was then to Alfred, he was a little important to him, I am remembering very well now the being in Alfred Hersland.

  Alfred Hersland had it in him that he was then living the living of people near him, he was doing then everything those near him were doing in living, he was then living the living of Mr. Arragon and doing everything he did that he could do with him. Alfred was as I was saying of the resisting engulfing kind of them having in him very much aspiring in living, having in him a fair amount of passion in living, having in him a very considerable feeling for distinction and elegance and beauty and richness in living having in him very considerably at times violent feeling in him of wanting to be doing with every one he was knowing what they were doing that he wanted to be doing with them. He had then very much pleasing feeling in doing with him what Arragon was doing in living, as I was saying Alfred Hersland really had musical feeling and musical understanding in him, he never had it at all in him that he wanted to be a musician. As I was saying Mr. Arragon was a little but was not very important to Alfred Hersland inside him, not any one could be then really important to Alfred Hersland inside him then, Alfred had his being inside him then, Alfred was of a kind in men and women, that was all the history of Alfred Hersland then and he was living the living of those near him and he was doing everything he was doing in his living with those he was then knowing and he was then doing everything they were then doing in their living. He was as I said before in a way then of the feeling of his natural rich American living but really always he was living the living and doing everything that they were doing of those near him. He was as I was saying of the engulfing resisting kind in men and women and he had in him a fair amount of passion in living and always then he was living, he was doing everything those near him were doing in living. Mr. Arragon was at one time very much with him. He was a little important as important as any one to Alfred Hersland then. Not any one was or could be really important to Alfred Hersland then. Alfred was of the engulfing resisting kind in men and women, not very strongly really resisting, not very strongly really engulfing, quite very strongly aspiring, quite strongly feeling distinction and elegance and beauty in living and richness as I was saying, quite often angry in resolving and very angry in beginnin
g doing what every one near him was doing in living. He had his own being then, he was of a kind in men and women.

  He was very pleasant to himself in being with Arragon and he liked it very well and it was a rich feeling in him that Mr. Arragon was having him with him in doing his living. Not anything was completely important to Alfred Hersland then.

  I am not content, I have not had it come out without pressing the description of Mr. Arragon the musician. It should come out of me without pressing without any straining in me to be pressing, I can be doing thinking to be helping, I should not be doing any pressing and any straining, I have been doing a little it has not come to be a complete thing simply coming, it is to be then to rebegin to come out from me. Always each thing must come out completely from me leaving me inside me just then gently empty, so pleasantly and weakly gently empty, that is a happy way to have it come out of me each one that is making itself in me, that is the only way it can come to be content for me in me, it can come out fairly quickly very slowly with a burst or gently, any way it feels a need of coming out of me, but being out of me I must be very pleasantly most gently, often weakly empty, this one then Mr. Arragon is not so happily then out of me, he is then still there inside me, I will let him come again when he is more completely ready, of the kind he is in living that has come out very pleasantly from inside me, his own being in me has not come out to be out of me so satisfactorily. Sometime then he may be better done, to begin again then the being and the living Alfred Hersland had in him.