When He Returns

by Amelia Smarts

  “Have you seen Grace or the others yet?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “No. I was on my way to the cabin when I spotted you struggling with the supplies. Recognized you right away.”

  “I suppose I haven’t changed much. You, though… You look all grown up.”

  He smiled and heaved the other bag into the back of the buggy, then slapped his hands together to rid them of the stray flour. “You look grown up too, and prettier than ever.”

  Heat crept into her cheeks. She wasn’t pretty in the least, never had been, and no one knew that better than Wade. She hadn’t entertained hopes that he’d be kind to her, but she hadn’t expected him to be cruel either. She pursed her lips and turned away to perform a useless chore of checking the wagon wheel, which she wasn’t surprised to discover was as round and wooden as usual.

  Wade cleared his throat. “I’m not pleased to see you wearing such a worn-out dress, Sadie. I thought I was sending sufficient money to buy any material you might need to sew frocks.”

  She stifled a gasp at his criticism and turned back around to offer him a sharp retort. However, when she looked into his eyes, she realized he was regarding her without mockery; rather, he looked concerned and confused. He was thinking like a businessman, wondering how his money was being put to use.

  The tightness in her shoulders softened. “I don’t need new clothes to do chores, Wade. I assure you the amount you’ve been sending us has been more than sufficient.” She swept her hand toward the goods in the buggy. “We have plenty to eat. We have shoes and dusters for the winter. And when you see Grace, you’ll have proof of your money being put to good use where clothes are concerned. She wears the latest fashion.”

  His expression relaxed somewhat. Reaching out, he captured the sleeve of her dress in between his thumb and forefinger, rubbing it thoughtfully.

  She drew a sharp breath at the closeness of his touch. The knuckles of his fingers brushed against the inside of her wrist.

  “This material is very thin,” he said. “I insist you buy or sew a new dress, even if it’s just for chores.”

  Warmth washed over her. She felt like someone was seeing her for the first time in ages, and she found herself willing to obey. “I’ll go shopping for material tomorrow.”

  He nodded and dropped his hand from her sleeve.

  Attempting to recover her composure, she looked away, aware that he was still watching her. “Grace is… She’s somewhere here in town,” Sadie stammered. “I was about to go looking for her.”

  “I’ll join you in your search then,” Wade replied. His near-constant gaze on her was unsettling. He wasn’t glaring at her, but he was studying her with intelligence and a keenness and made her feel like he was looking right through her. She couldn’t help but fear he didn’t like what he was seeing.

  She walked into the empty street, with Wade walking beside her. “She might be at the restaurant,” Sadie said. “She’s taken a shine to Jimmy. Remember him from school? His ma is the cook there.”

  “I remember. Jimmy Cooper… Is he courting Grace?”

  “I’m not sure. Grace doesn’t tell me much about her social life. But I’ve never known her to stay interested in one boy for long. If he is courting her, who knows how long it’ll last.”

  “Ah, that sounds like Grace,” he said in a fond voice.

  “She’s going to be tickled pink to see you. She talks about you all the time and tells us all about your articles in the newspaper. The letters from you are her most treasured possessions.”

  He didn’t respond, and when Sadie glanced at him, she noticed he was staring at the ground with a pained expression. This surprised Sadie, since she would have thought the news would make him happy. He stopped abruptly and touched her arm, bringing her feet to a halt as well. His light touch sent shockwaves throughout her body.

  Their eyes locked when he spoke. “I’m not entirely sure where to begin, Sadie, but there are some things we need to talk about.”

  She blinked. Fear gripped her, for she guessed what he wished to discuss. She felt herself nodding, to which Wade responded with small smile. Breaking eye contact, she stared past him into the distance, trying to settle her beating heart.

  Sadie spotted Grace then. Her spirits sank as Wade followed her gaze. Grace was shimmying out the double doors of the saloon with a man on either arm. It dawned on her then why Grace had been so secretive about her social life. She was entertaining men in a saloon? Did that mean… Sadie couldn’t finish her thought. She felt even more deflated, remembering all the times Grace hadn’t come home at night over the last few months.

  “Is that Grace?” Wade asked, his voice incredulous. “Over yonder, comin’ out of the saloon?”

  A shriek of her sister’s laughter reached Sadie’s ears, as Grace playfully slapped the arm of the cowboy to her right. Sadie winced. She felt ashamed and responsible for how Grace was behaving, and she hated that Wade might think less of Grace, when the girl held him in such high esteem.

  “She’s had a hard time since Pa died. Went a little wild, I suppose,” Sadie said in her defense.

  “Hmm,” he intoned. He continued to stare at Grace with a look of parental disapproval.

  “Can we just walk around the restaurant for a minute?” Sadie asked urgently. She strode ahead and hoped Wade would follow. He did. When Sadie stopped and turned to face him, words tumbled out of her. “I just… I don’t want her to see you now. She won’t be able to handle it if you’re disappointed in her. She thinks so highly of you.”

  His expression softened. “Of course, I understand.”

  “Thank you,” Sadie said, relieved.

  “But I’ll be talking to her about this at a later date,” he added, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t think we should allow it to continue. Do you?”

  “No,” Sadie agreed. “It certainly can’t go on.”

  In that moment, she and Wade were allies, just like they’d been at certain times back when they were the two older kids responsible for the younger ones. She felt a measure of relief at not having to face this problem alone. It seemed too large for her and certainly out of her realm of experience.

  Sadie was by most people’s standards only a hair’s breadth away from being a spinster. No man had ever sought to court her. She knew this was because she was plain to look at and, besides that, she didn’t go to town for social activities. She didn’t have the first inkling about how to have a conversation with Grace about her behavior with men. With Sadie’s limited experience, it wasn’t as though she could provide her sister with a favorable alternative.

  Sadie couldn’t help but wonder if things would have turned out better for Grace and the rest of them if Sadie hadn’t framed Wade for the theft half a decade ago. Perhaps he wouldn’t have been so heartbroken after Clyde’s death. Perhaps he would have chosen to stay with them. A lump formed in her throat, which took considerable effort to swallow down. “I’ll go fetch Grace. Meet us by the buggy in a few minutes?”

  “Yes, I’ll see you there,” he agreed. He sounded sad, and she wondered if perhaps he had the same thought about how things could have been different if he’d stayed.

  Sadie marched up to Grace and her two male companions. Grace’s eyes widened upon seeing her sister, and she quickly murmured her goodbyes to the men. Once the sisters had reached the buggy, Sadie sighed. “Grace, you can’t be seen spending time in the saloon. No good man will marry you if he hears tell you’re ruined.”

  Grace waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about me, Sadie. Those men have been nice to me, so I’ve been nice to them. That’s all.”

  Sadie scoffed. “Of course they’ve been nice to you. Who wouldn’t be nice to you? You’re the easiest person in the world to be nice to.” She stared into her younger sister’s sparkling green eyes, framed with kohl liner and shaded by dramatically dark eyelashes. It seemed silly now that Sadie had worried about what Wade would think of Grace putting on makeup, when he’d witn
essed her doing something so much more scandalous.

  Grace tilted her head. “Are you feeling well, Sadie? You look flushed, like you might have a fever.”

  “Oh, yes. I’m perfectly well,” Sadie assured her. From the corner of her eye, she saw Wade striding toward them. She nodded in his direction. “I’ve got a little surprise for you. Look who’s here.”

  Grace turned. A moment later she gasped. “Sakes alive! Is that Wade?”

  “Sure is,” Sadie said, unable to stop herself from smiling. “I saw him earlier and we arranged to meet here.”

  “I can’t believe it!” Grace cried. She lifted her skirts with both hands so they didn’t drag on the ground and ran, closing the distance between them. She squealed with delight as Wade swept her into his arms and twirled her around. Grace’s entire being was alight with excitement as she strolled hand-in-hand with him back to the buggy. Her eyes danced, and a delicate blush covered her cheeks. Wade was less effusive, but he was very happy to see Grace as well, judging by his broad smile and the adoring look he focused on her.

  “Tell me everything,” Grace said to him. “How was your journey? How long are you staying?”

  Wade chuckled. “My journey was unremarkable, as all the best journeys are, and I haven’t yet decided how long to stay. I’ve arranged with my employer to post feature articles from here, so I can earn a reduced salary that’ll hold us over.”

  “You must remain with us for a very long time. We have so much to catch up on,” Grace said. “You’ll stay at the cabin, of course?”

  “Sure, if no one minds,” he replied. He glanced at Sadie. “I’m fine at the hotel if it’s any trouble.”

  “Not at all!” Grace exclaimed. “You can have your old cot or sleep in Pa’s room.”

  Wade’s smile faltered, just a bit, which Grace immediately noticed. She wrapped a hand gently around his arm. “Wherever you want to sleep is fine, Wade. Whatever makes you comfortable.”

  Sadie nodded her agreement with Grace, regretting that she hadn’t invited Wade to the cabin in the first place like Grace had done so easily.

  Chapter Nine

  That night, Sadie hardly slept a wink. However, there was work to be done, so she couldn’t indulge in sleeping in. Bedding needed washing, butter needed churning, and she needed to kill and pluck a chicken at some point that day. With Wade there, she didn’t want to serve bland potato soup, so she intended to ensure there was a much grander meal of fried chicken or fish on the table every evening he was with them.

  Wade joked and laughed with the twins, talked with Grace about California, and helped Ada with the last of her homework before school. Sadie stayed a distance apart, keeping busy on cooking breakfast, but it gave her a contented feeling to hear her siblings so relaxed. The normal squabbles were absent, and everyone seemed happier with Wade there.

  She spooned scrambled eggs onto six plates and placed a fresh loaf of sliced bread in the center of the table along with the remaining butter. Wade sat in the same spot at the table he’d occupied as a child and offered to say the blessing. A rush of bittersweet memories flooded Sadie. Her pa had always said the blessing, and it felt good to have a man once again doing the same. Though she and Wade had never gotten along as children, there was no denying the family felt more complete with him there.

  “So, Wade, can I go back with you to California?” Grace asked, passing him the salt and pepper. “I want to see more of the world than this sleepy old town.”

  She phrased the question lightheartedly, but Sadie knew she was only halfway joking. Wade seemed to know it as well because he answered her in a serious voice as he sprinkled his eggs with pepper. “That will depend on whether I think it will do you good, Grace.”

  She cocked her head. “How will you know?”

  “I just will,” he insisted gently. “I knew it was better to leave you when I set out before, and I’ll know now if that’s changed.”

  Grace’s eyebrows lifted with surprise at the mention of his disappearance five years previously.

  “Of course,” Wade continued in a regretful tone, “what would have been best was if I’d stayed here instead of abandoning all of you. For that I can’t apologize enough.” He looked around the table at each of them, and Sadie felt that he gazed at her for an especially long time.

  “That was ages ago,” Grace said, giving him an encouraging smile.

  “Yes, it was,” he agreed. “But I fear the repercussions of my abandonment are long-lasting. I hope someday you all can forgive me.”

  “Of course we forgive you, Wade,” Grace assured him. “We’re just glad to have you back.”

  Sadie looked away. She didn’t think the apology was necessary, when the impetus behind his decision to leave was not his fault. If Sadie hadn’t been so cruel toward him all those years ago, he almost certainly would have stayed. She remained quiet throughout the rest of the meal, while the others joked and laughed with each other. She was aware of Wade looking at her every so often throughout the breakfast, but she took great pains not to do the same.

  The meal ended, and people dispersed. Ada walked to school, while Luke and Miles each went to their job at the sawmill in town. Grace had a meeting scheduled with the seamstress in town, who was considering whether to hire her. Before Grace left, she threw her arms around Wade’s neck. “Don’t leave while I’m gone. Promise me.”

  “Oh, Lordy! I won’t. I’m not near finished here,” Wade assured her. He landed a big kiss on her forehead. “I’ll see you at supper, sweetheart.”

  She smiled brightly and then hugged Sadie goodbye.

  “Stay out of trouble,” Sadie called to her.

  “I will!” Grace chirped, and then disappeared, leaving Sadie alone with Wade.

  “I’m going to talk with her tonight,” Wade said, frowning as he looked out the window, watching Grace’s retreat. “I can’t bear the thought of her in that saloon when we’re not looking.”

  Sadie nodded and walked to the basin with a stack dishes.

  Wade assisted her, bringing the rest of the dishes and the silverware to the countertop. “I see everyone left you to do the cleaning up alone,” he observed. “Is that a common occurrence?”

  “Yes, I suppose,” she said with a short laugh. “They’re busy with work and school and various activities in town. My work is here at home.”

  “Still, it’s not right. You should learn to delegate, young lady.”

  Sadie didn’t know what the word 'delegate' meant, but the tone of his voice and use of the phrase 'young lady' made her head shoot up with surprise. Was he scolding her? That thought nearly made her laugh out loud. It also made her feel oddly warm inside. It was unusual for anyone to notice her behavior, and it was flattering that Wade did, even if it was in a disapproving way.

  “You’re getting the short end of the stick here. Everyone should be able to see it,” he continued. “I’ll go fetch you some water from the well.”

  He left and returned with a full bucket, which he used to rinse the dishes she washed. Sadie had to admit it was nice having someone around to help, although the silence between them during the chore was uncomfortable. She tried several times to apologize for what had happened so long ago, but the words kept getting stuck somewhere in her throat.

  “How long has Grace been going to the saloon?” Wade asked finally, after they were nearly through with the dishes.

  Though it was difficult for Sadie to think about the subject, in that moment it was preferable to the alternative of talking about the past. “I don’t know. I only just saw her there for the first time yesterday like you did, but she’s been secretive about her activities at night for some time.”

  Wade shook his head and said firmly, “It cannot go on. I won’t allow it.”

  It surprised Sadie how much Wade had grown up. He possessed none of the sullenness of his youth, and his every word and movement projected strength and resolve. This was good if he was going to make any headway with Grace. Of everyone
, Sadie reckoned that Wade would probably have the most sway because of how much her sister admired him, but Grace always did as Grace wanted. The whole clan was like that—Wade included.

  “Clyde… He was a good man,” Wade said. “I think if…” His voice trailed off.

  “If he were alive, Grace wouldn’t be behaving this way,” Sadie finished for him bluntly, guessing his point. “She struggled after his death. She craved attention from men.”

  Wade’s hands stilled over the plate he was rinsing, and the room felt suddenly somber. “I shouldn’t have left. If I were half the man Clyde was, I wouldn’t have.”

  Sadie shook her head. “It’s not your fault, Wade.”

  He didn’t respond. He resumed dipping the plate in the bucket to rinse it and noiselessly placed it on the counter with the others to dry.

  Sadie knew this was her opportunity to apologize, and she braced herself to say the words and hear his response, knowing Wade had every right to reject anything she had to say. “I-I’m sorry,” she said finally, her voice trembling. “I’m sorry I did something so awful to you. I was jealous that Pa was paying you for the work you did, while not noticing my work, so I wanted to hurt you. It was wretched of me, and I’ve never been able to forgive myself.”

  Wade picked up a towel and rubbed the plate dry, still not speaking. When he finally set the plate down and looked at her, his expression was kind. “Thanks for that, Sadie. I wondered what had caused you to frame me, and I wondered if you would ever tell me and apologize.”

  She nibbled at her bottom lip while trying to chase away the tears that were forming. “I should have apologized years ago, but every time I wrote my apology down in a letter to you, it sounded so trite. It was too little, too late. Pa will never know the truth.”

  “That’s how I saw it at first too,” Wade acknowledged. “I thought there wasn’t anything you could say to make things better. But as the years went by, I hoped you would reach out to me. My anger toward you didn’t last. I forgave you a long time ago.”