by Peggy Jaeger
But he knew he couldn’t have her.
A cold fist of reality punched through his desire-drenched body. She needed him to protect her, not seduce her. The notion that she wanted him as much as he did her didn’t change that fact.
“Kandy. Open your eyes.”
When she did he almost lost the small amount of sanity he still possessed and took her right there, braced against the sink.
Her beautiful blue irises were transparent crystals filled with heat and longing. Josh swore he could see to her very core; he could have melted into them without thought. Her gaze raked down his face to his lips, and she pulled a hand from his hair and traced a delicate line in the dimple under his bottom lip, just above his jawline.
Josh’s abdominal muscles contracted. He grabbed her hand, placed a chaste kiss on the open palm, and watched her expression change from captivated to confused.
“Josh—?”
“Shhh.” He placed his own finger against her lips. When he shook his head, she pulled back.
“You don’t want—?” Her brow creased, a frown forming on her lips.
His hands rubbed her upper arms. “We can’t.”
“Why not?” she asked, trying to pull away. He kept her prisoner, the sink ledge behind her. “We’re both adults. Single. Free to do what we want. And I want you, Josh. So much I can taste it,” she added, a nervous laugh trickling from between her lips. She brought her hand up to his hair to try and pull his mouth back to hers, but he stopped her.
His hand went to her lips and he gently rubbed them back and forth. When she sucked one finger into his mouth, her gaze never leaving his face, Josh groaned and tugged his hand away.
“Don’t.”
“Josh, I want you. Now. Isn’t that all that matters? Both of us, here and now?”
He shook his head. “I was hired to protect you, Kandy. To keep you safe. Not to sleep with you.”
He saw the lust in her eyes turn from sultry heat to artic frost in a heartbeat and guilt flooded through him.
“Let go of me.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“Kandy, please—”
“I said, let go of me.”
The curtailed fury in her voice gave him no room for discussion. When his hands came down to his sides, Kandy pulled away, turned, and quickly quit the room.
Josh stared down at the mop lying on the floor in front of him. Exhaling, he picked it up and pulled the bucket from the sink.
* * *
Idiot, her mind screamed as she bolted up to her bedroom.
Why don’t you just wear a sign around your neck that reads desperate.
She threw herself down onto the bed and scraped her hands over her face.
More than embarrassed by her wanton behavior, Kandy was disgusted for having no control.
One kiss. That’s all it had taken. Just one kiss and she’d begged him for more.
The second his tongue wound with hers, sucking and tugging it ravenously, her mind stopped functioning. The challenge for domination of the mop was over the moment their lips met.
She’d released her grip on the handle, vaguely hearing it slam to the floor between them, and snaked her hands up and around Josh’s neck, massaging the prickly hairs at the nape of his collar. Twining her fingers into his thick, coarse hair, she pulled him down and deepened the kiss further, her galloping heart almost leaping out of her. As his hands floated down her back to circle her waist and pull in her tighter, she felt her legs start to give out from under her. When he gripped her butt a heartbeat later and pressed their bodies closer, imprinting and molding himself to her, Kandy thought she could die from pleasure.
He felt so damn good. So unbelievably good.
Better than anything she’d ever felt before.
She wanted more, much more, than just a stolen kiss in the kitchen. Kandy wanted to be under him, staring up at him, calling his name when he made her come.
The very thought as it passed through her mind made her blush scarlet.
She pulled a pillow from under the covers, punched it, and threw it behind her neck.
How many times had he told her over the past few days he was with her for one reason and one reason alone? To find out who was harassing her.
He’s here to help, that’s all. When he’s done, he’ll leave.
How ironic is that?
She’d spent her whole life concentrating on building her career, never wanting to be bothered having to choose between a man and her goals, knowing the goals were always the prime objective, never wanting to have to make a choice between her head and her heart. Now, when she’d finally found a man who might be worth sacrificing for, worth letting in, she was nothing more to him than a responsibility.
Oh, he desired her, all right. The proof hit her squarely in her midsection when she was in his arms. But, apparently desire wasn’t enough. No, he wasn’t going to do anything—including her—but the job he’d been hired to do.
Karma really was a bitch to bring a man she could be comfortable with, one she could laugh with, who appreciated her skills and career choices, and, more important, a man she could trust in her private sphere, only to have him deny both of them the pleasure of a physical relationship because his job came first.
She rose and crossed to the bathroom. To the reflection in the mirror she said aloud, “He’s right about one thing. You need sleep.”
Face washed, teeth brushed, she changed into pajamas.
Kandy wanted to hear the lonely roll and call of the surf as it broke on the shore so she left her lanai doors open. Rhythmic and hypnotic, she hoped the sound would lull her to sleep without any further thoughts of the man downstairs. The man who, she knew without doubt, was rapidly becoming something much more than just her bodyguard.
An hour later when she was still wide awake, remembering the fiery taste of him, the firm and forceful feel of him against her, the craving his body had so blatantly shown to her, Kandy knew sleep, if it ever did come, would be troubled.
* * *
At four thirty her eyes peeked open and she turned to the clock on her bedside table.
She’d slept a total of half an hour. A forty-minute run was the last thing on her mind. Turning to her side, she pulled the blankets up and drifted back to sleep.
The next time she opened her eyes it was after ten.
“Oh. My. God.”
Kandy sprinted from the bed, wrenched her pajamas off, and jumped into the shower. She didn’t even give the water a chance to warm, but stepped into the stall while it was still regulating.
Teeth chattering against the chill, she denounced the wasted hours lying in bed when she still had so many things to do before her guests began arriving.
Hair sopping, she pulled it into a high ponytail and threw herself into jeans and a T-shirt, her body still glistening from the shower spray.
How could he let her oversleep, she railed, running down the spiral stairs? Because, of course it was Josh’s fault she had. She rolled to an abrupt stop at the bottom of the stairs when she saw some of the decorations hanging in the foyer and heard laughter coming from the kitchen.
Kandy recognized one voice in particular, and her eyes widened as she guardedly approached the room.
Through the pass-through window connecting the dining room with the kitchen, Josh, a coffee mug in one hand, a filled balloon in the other, smiled as he listened to the voice of a woman.
And not just any woman.
“So I simply said to myself, Hannah, don’t be so selfish. Your youngest only has one twenty-first birthday. You should be there when she arrives. So I forfeited my appointment with Carlo and drove out early with Abby to help Kandace decorate. If I’d known you were going to be here, I’d have come last night.”
Kandy winced at the forward coquettishness in her mother’s voice and was shocked to her core when Josh threw back his head and laughed, a full-bodied belly shaker.
“Hanna
h, I have to tell you, your reputation precedes you and doesn’t do you any justice at all.” He smiled across the breakfast bar at her.
“I think there’s a compliment in there,” she replied. “Or if there isn’t, I’ll take it as one.”
Hannah turned when Kandy came through the doorway.
“Honey, there you are.” Hannah Laine sauntered to her oldest daughter and pulled her into her gym-toned arms.
“Mom.” Kandy inhaled the familiar fragrance of Chanel N°5 as her mother’s arms snaked around her waist. “I didn’t expect you until this afternoon.”
“I know, dear. Josh told me you got my message last night when you returned from Mario’s.” Hannah pulled back and scrutinized her eldest. “How is he, by the way? Still cooking his sinful shrimp bolognaise?”
Kandy stared at her mother’s beautifully made-up face.
At forty-eight, Hannah looked ten years younger in any lighting. The hard and emotion-laden years she’d spent with her inept husband had done nothing to mar her basic God-blessed beauty. The crystal blue of her eyes, so similar to that of all her daughters, was as vibrant and clear as ever. Her original jet-black hair had been softened with time and a colorist’s brush to fall in soft auburn waves down to her shoulders. Skin, still relatively unlined, glowed with health and radiance. She was dressed casually in linen cropped pants and a silk baby blue–colored shirt, which, on her toned and tanned body looked like couture.
“Mom, you look great,” Kandy said, pulling her in for an exuberant hug.
“Oh, how sweet you are.” Hannah smiled and patted her daughter’s back with affection.
“Did I hear you say Abby was here?”
“She’s at the dock getting the lobsters,” Hannah said. “We’ve already decorated the deck, and Josh set up the volleyball net and croquet kit for the kids. He and I were just going to finish with the rest of the house when you finally decided to join the living.”
It was said with warmth and love, but Kandy blushed anyway. “I can’t believe I overslept.” She crossed to the refrigerator and pulled out the cake tiers. “I haven’t done that since the sixth grade.”
“Well, with all you’ve been going through it probably did you a world of good to get some extra rest.” Hannah took one of the trays from her and placed it on the counter. “Oh goodie. Mama’s vanilla cake,” she said, taking a whiff. “Ellie will be so pleased. She’s always loved this cake.”
Kandy slammed the refrigerator door and threw an accusatory glare at Josh.
He held up his hands in surrender. “Not me.”
Kandy turned to her mother. “What do you mean all I’ve been going through?”
Hannah wiped her hands on a dishrag and stared at her daughter. “Gemma called me last night and told me what’s been going on. I called Lucy and Callie for confirmation.”
Kandy closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. “I now know how it feels to want to commit murder. How could they? I asked them to keep it a secret from you.”
“But, honey, why? I’m your mother. I should know if someone’s trying to hurt you.”
“I didn’t want you to worry,” she said, gathering Crisco, sugar, vanilla, egg whites, and butter for the frosting. “I knew you’d be upset by the news.”
“Of course I’m upset, Kandace Sophia. This is your life we’re talking about.” Her voice had risen and lost some of its soothing tone.
Kandy rolled her eyes and stared at her mother. “This is what I was worried about, Mom. I don’t want you upset about all this.”
“Too late.” Her mother fisted her hands on her slim hips. “I don’t know what makes me madder: you being stalked or you not telling me about it.”
Kandy plugged in the mixer and began creaming the butter and the shortening.
“I don’t know I’d call what’s happened stalking,” she said over the machine’s whir.
“What then? You’ve been harassed by phone, had a potentially fatal car accident, you think someone broke into your apartment, and I hear a dead rat was left for you at the studio. Not to mention narrowly being injured by a falling light. What do you call all that?”
“Bad luck?” Kandy asked, grimacing.
“Kandace Sophia Bernadette Laine, I know you’re trying to make light of this for my sake, but I don’t like it one bit.”
“Oh boy. When you call me by my whole name I know I’m in for it.”
Over the sound of the mixer Josh said, “Hannah, you can understand Kandy’s reluctance to tell you, especially when only very few people knew. She didn’t want to concern anyone.”
“I’m her mother,” Hannah said. Her expression was firm and resolute. “It’s my lot in life to be concerned. I live for my children.”
Kandy burst out laughing at the theatrical, deadpan tone in her mother’s voice, and the tension of the moment passed. “Oh Mom. You’re too much,” she said, and gathered her in for another hug.
With what looked like confusion, Hannah patted Kandy’s back again and said, “Well, I guess I am if you say so. But I’m still worried about you. You may be an adult, honey, but you’ll always be one of my babies.”
Pulling back, Kandy smiled and said, “I’m a little tall for a baby. But look, you don’t have to worry about any of this. Josh is handling it. That’s what he’s here for,” she added, trying to keep the bitter edge from her words.
Hannah stared at her daughter for a second, her eyebrows rising in an expression Kandy couldn’t read.
“Hey, I’ve got ten crates of squirming, snapping crustaceans out here and I’d appreciate a little help.”
“Abby,” Kandy yelped, springing to the door.
For the next few minutes, the sisters and Josh were engaged with the unloading and storing of the live lobsters in Kandy’s large, walk-in storage refrigerator in the garage, while Hannah watched from the kitchen.
Chapter Fifteen
“How do you plan on cooking these?” Josh asked as he stowed the last crate.
“Well, that’s where I hope you come in.”
Josh’s left eyebrow rose almost to his hairline. “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout cooking lobsters.”
Kandy’s easy grin split from ear to ear. “Cute. But I really need your help.”
“What can I do?”
“Dig a pit in the sand. About two feet deep, six wide. I have five lobster pots and four corn pots that will fit perfectly in that footage. There’s firewood on the back of the deck and a metal grating I can use to balance the pots. If you could put it all together for me, it’ll be a big help when it’s time to cook.”
Josh nodded. “Want me to do it now, or help decorate?”
“Let Mom and Abby decorate. You’ve already done the sports stuff, and I need to finish the cake, so now’s a good time. Do you mind?”
“Not at all.”
She stared at him for a moment longer, looked like she wanted to say something else, but at the last minute decided not to.
While she walked back into the house, he went in search of a shovel.
After she’d fled the kitchen, he’d been consumed with guilt at what he’d let happen between them. Her emotions were right on the edge, deny it though she did, but the second he’d pulled her into his arms, all reason and thought left his head, replaced by longing and the simple craving to just love all her concerns away.
He’d never been with a woman who was such a dichotomy of strength and need before. It not only intrigued him, it captivated him.
Josh was well past thinking of Kandy as just a client or a job. From the moment her lips met his he knew it. He’d opened himself to her as he had to no other woman. He’d never even told his brothers about the incidents after the shooting, but he’d confessed it to this woman he’d known for such a brief time, and felt so comfortable doing so. It seemed right to him. Balanced.
They would have ended up first on the kitchen floor and then in Kandy’s bed if Josh hadn’t put an end to the
ir actions. That she’d desired him as well made it all the more difficult to stop.
But he had, and in so doing he knew he’d hurt her, something he’d never planned on. As savvy and smart as she was in business, Josh knew in the area of romance Kandy was almost an innocent.
It was his job to be responsible for her safety, but the feeling swirling around in the center of his chest whenever he looked at her, thought of her, was near her, had nothing to do with work, or the lust he’d first thought it to be. No, Josh realized Kandy was becoming important to him in a way he wasn’t sure was good for either of them.
After his first broken engagement and then the shooting, Josh had sworn to never again mix work and a relationship. He could live with the reason his first fiancée had broken off with him. In hindsight he knew they’d both been too young and immature to make a lifetime commitment when she’d been so worried about his safety.
But after the shooting, when the woman he’d thought he was in love with had summarily thrown him out of her life, Josh swore he’d never make the same mistake again. He vowed to keep his work life separate from his personal life. Always.
Until now he’d succeeded. He’d dated, but it never lasted longer than a few casual months. He kept all women at a very long arm’s length. Numerous protection jobs had placed him directly in contact with women who had told him in no uncertain terms they were interested in pursuing something more with him. Beautiful, successful, and powerful women. Women most men wouldn’t have thought twice about becoming involved with.
Josh had resisted up until now and had been satisfied with his decision.
His mother had assured him one day he’d find an everlasting love just like his parents had. He would know the woman he was meant to spend the rest of his life with when he saw her.
And he was starting to think Kandy might be that woman.
Now, if only he could discover who was tormenting her.
Josh slammed the shovel into the soft sand and went over everything he knew about the people closest to her again.
