Passion Found

by C Zinnia

  “I’ll be right back, amor,” Viola said. “I’m going to shower.” She kissed her. “I love you.”

  “Ditto,” Mel said.

  “Why don’t you go hose off too, Daren?” Papa suggested politely.

  “Aw come on Pops,” Daren said. “I smell great!” He gave Papa a big hug.

  Papa laughed. “Now you quit being silly and go shower,” he said. He was still grinning when Daren left. “I love Daren. He’s got a good heart. Dana and Lee did a good job raising him. You know that he invited me to play basketball with him this weekend? Me! Daren said he knew I could keep up.” He laughed again. His booming laugh made Mel smile.

  “All of you seem to have a great relationship,” Mel said.

  “We have good days and bad days like everyone else,” Papa said. “You just have to learn not to take the bad so personally. Half of the time, the bad doesn’t have anything to do with you! It’s just their problems that they aren’t admitting to themselves or communicating to you. Dana and Silvia used to have terrible fights.”

  “Really?” Mel said. She glanced at Silvia.

  “It’s true,” Silvia said sheepishly. “Not my proudest moment.”

  “They would get in the worst fights!” Papa said. “They would pick on each other and punch each other. We finally had to step in one day because we were afraid they were going to kill each other.

  “Turns out, Silvia was jealous of Dana because Dana was loved by everyone in the pack. Because Silvia didn’t grow up in this pack, she felt like an outsider even with her bond with Bruce. Dana was jealous of Silvia because the first day Silvia was here, she found her mate. Dana wanted to find her mate too.”

  “So, when did Lee join this pack?” Mel asked.

  “Mel, he’s always been in this pack,” Papa said.

  “Dana and I grew up together,” Lee said as he walked into the kitchen.

  Mel was floored by the revelation. She realized Nana had eluded to it yesterday, but Mel hadn’t quite understood what Nana meant. “How is it possible? I thought that you knew instantly when you met your mate,” she said.

  “I did, but it took Dana a while. Dana had been brainwashed by her father that anyone in a position less than a beta was unworthy. My parents ranked as Omegas, so she never looked my way,” Lee said.

  “Prejudice can cloud judgment,” Papa said. “Your heart has to be open to the concept of love to find it.”

  “Yeah, all it took was Lee calling Dana a self-righteous spoiled brat incapable of love,” Silvia said. “We were there to see that.”

  “I did. And Dana slapped me for it too,” Lee said guiltily. “Then she kissed me. It was well worth it.”

  “For Dana and Silvia, it was their jealousy of each other that caused their problems,” Papa said. “And these stemmed from self-worth and fear. Neither one of them had very much self-love, which led to the jealousy. Once these different aspects were addressed, they were able to become the friends you see now.”

  Their advice made Mel think of Jesse. I’m jealous of her beauty and strength, Mel thought. And she’s jealous of my relationship with Viola. How would our relationship be if we set our baggage aside?

  That’ll never happen, part of her thought.

  “Listen to Papa and Nana,” Dana said as she walked in with Nana. She had caught the tail end of the conversation. “They are wise people who know how to put things eloquently. If Silvia and I didn’t have them in our lives, I don’t know if we would have resolved our differences. The people in our lives will either help us resolve our relationships or make it worse. You always want to be careful who you take advice from, especially about relationships.”

  “I agree,” Silvia said. “We were lucky we had adults who know how to resolve conflict in a safe and healthy manner.”

  Nana patted Dana’s arm. “You will be the same way when you get to be our age,” she said.

  “I know you’ve already helped me so much, Dana,” Mel said. “You have a lot of wisdom to offer.”

  Dana smiled. “Thank you, Mel,” she said. “I’m glad to hear that. I just want to spread good in the world.”

  “Me too,” Mel said.

  Mel wondered if she was completely open to love. She believed in love and in soulmates. She was a romantic at heart and believed she and Viola were soulmates.

  Then why am I so afraid? Mel thought.

  What if it was all a lie? A small voice in the back of Mel’s head asked. What if love and soulmates don’t exist? What if I fall in love with the wrong person? What if I prove myself a fool? Mel felt the questions strike her soul.

  Mel’s parents had met and gotten married in a short period of time. After two children, they realized they were not soulmates. It was a stressful divorce to say the least and left Mel frightened at the thought of how vulnerable a person was when they thought they loved someone completely and were proven wrong.

  Mel realized she was inhibiting her own happiness due to fear of being like her parents. I’m not my parents, she thought. The realization created a feeling in her that she could not describe. It was relief and happiness all mixed into one.

  Mel had the urge to go upstairs. “Excuse me,” she said. She went upstairs to Viola’s room. She noticed Viola wasn’t there yet. Mel paced the room. Why is Viola not here yet? she thought.

  Viola came in. She was only wearing a towel. She was surprised to see Mel. “Amor,” she said with a smile. “What are you doing up here?”

  “I- I-” Mel broke off. She felt like such a coward. She wanted to say something but remained quiet at the same time.

  “Why don’t we go downstairs?” Viola said. Her eyes showed compassion and love. She knew Mel was struggling with words. She knew Mel wanted to open up to her. She knew Mel may not be ready to say the things she wanted to.

  “But, I-” Mel stopped again.

  Viola cupped her face. “Amor.” She rubbed her nose against Mel’s nose affectionately. She kissed Mel’s head. “It’s okay. I do not know about your past and the people you have encountered in your life. I don’t know how you were raised to view love. All I know is that I love you with all of my heart. I also grew up in a world where meeting your soulmate is not only possible, but it does happen. When you are ready, you will be able to do the same,” she said sincerely.

  That was all it took.

  Mel felt her heart open up. Her energy melded with Viola’s in a way it never had before. Mel got glimpses of Viola’s past. The landscapes of Cuba. A beautiful woman by the river. Different people Viola encountered during her travels up the Appalachian trail. She felt Viola’s loneliness and heartbreak. Then, it all changed the first time Viola met Dana and Lee. The first time she was accepted as family for all that she was. Viola was grateful to God for the joy and love that surrounded her. The images and sensations were too fast for Mel to keep up with. Mel lost all awareness of her surroundings.

  “Mel! Mel!” Viola grabbed Mel as she swooned. “Mel! Are you okay?” Viola said.

  Mel opened her eyes to find Viola’s face close to hers. “Yes,” she said. “You are an amazing woman and I am so grateful that you are my mate. I’ve never experienced what it’s like to love someone before, but I feel that I love you as much as I could possibly love someone. I hope that my love for you is always able to grow. I love you, Viola, more than words can describe.”

  Mel leaned up and kissed Viola. She wrapped her arms around Viola and held her tight as she deepened the kiss.

  Viola immediately picked Mel up and carried her to the bed. She gently removed Mel’s clothes. She covered Mel’s body with loving kisses.

  Mel fought the urge to cover herself.

  Viola gazed at Mel for a moment. Viola’s energy showed she more than appreciated what she was seeing. “You are beautiful,” she said. “My beautiful amor.”

  Mel tugged at Viola’s towel. “I want to see you too,” she said. Mel gave the towel a hard tug.

  The towel fell to the floor and Mel sighed at the sight of V
iola. “You are beautiful,” Mel said. She grabbed Viola’s arm and pulled her closer.

  Lips met and bodies moved. Mel and Viola lost track of time and presence.

  Life was perfect.

  Chapter 21

  Mel and Viola cuddled in the afterglow.

  “So, were you able to work with Eli on your ability to heal?” Viola asked.

  “I accidentally worked on their dog, Lala,” Mel said. “Eli saw and said I was taking energy from myself and putting into their dog. He said it wasn’t a good idea to do any healing until I learn how to utilize energy from elsewhere.”

  Viola frowned. “How did you accidentally work on their dog?” she said.

  “I was petting Lala and I found a spot that didn’t feel right in her hip and I somehow put my energy into it to help heal the area,” Mel said. “It was really weird.”

  “You’ve never done that with me,” Viola said. Her tone was accusatory.

  Mel froze at the tone of Viola’s voice. She’d never had someone speak to her in that tone and wasn’t sure how to respond. “No,” she said slowly. “I’ve never felt anything on you that needed to be addressed.” She opted not to mention she had managed to work on Eli and Papa because she knew that would only make it worse.

  “Why? Do you like the dog more than me or something?” Viola asked.

  Mel didn’t understand where Viola’s issue was stemming from. It was almost as though Viola was jealous of the dog. “No, don’t be silly. Of course, I don’t like Lala more. She just really needed the work. Imagine, she walks with a limp in her hip. You don’t have any of those issues. I love you. I just told you how much I love you,” she said.

  “Yes, before throwing yourself at me. You probably just told me you love me for sex,” Viola said.

  Mel felt like she had been slapped. Her heart ached from Viola’s words. “That’s not true,” she said. “I told you I love you because it’s what I feel. I didn’t expect sex from it. In case you’ve forgotten, we’ve had sex multiple times before this and I didn’t say I love you then, so it’s obviously not a tactic for sex.”

  “Whatever. It’s fine,” Viola said as she got out of bed. She got dressed.

  “I don’t understand,” Mel said. “Everything was perfect just a moment ago. Why are you being like this?”

  “I’m not being anything. I’m just stating facts. Actions speak louder than words, Mel. Your actions show me how you really feel,” Viola said. “You’re willing to work on a dog, but not your own mate.” She was about to walk out of the room to leave Mel alone.

  Mel panicked. She loved Viola. What if Viola doesn’t love me anymore because I didn’t work on her? What if she never wants to be with me again? she thought. Her gut churned from nerves at the thought of Viola breaking up with her.

  See, you’ll end up alone and unloved, a voice said. It’s what you deserve.

  Mel didn’t want Viola to leave her. “Wait,” she said.

  Viola paused at the door. Her hand was on the doorknob.

  Mel got out of bed and went over to Viola. Mel gently placed a hand on Viola’s arm. She closed her eyes and asked; What needs to heal?

  Viola had some gunk in parts of her legs, back, and arms. Mel felt warmth flood her hand and it poured into Viola. The warmth spread and cleared out the gunk, replacing it with healthy tissue. Mel knew Viola’s body was able to take care of the gunk on her own. She knew it was merely the result of all of Viola’s training. Viola didn’t have the issues that Mel had witnessed earlier with the others she had worked on.

  Viola was grinning when Mel was done. “You see, that wasn’t so bad,” Viola said as she gave Mel a peck on the cheek. “Get dressed and let’s go eat.”

  Mel was relieved that Viola was happy. She still loves me, she thought. Even with that, her gut wasn’t able to settle. Some anxiety remained.

  As Mel dressed, she realized she was exhausted. It wasn’t a physical or mental exhaustion, but one she felt in her bones. In my soul, Mel thought. She didn’t mention it to Viola as they went downstairs to join the others for dinner.

  I’m making it up, she thought. Of course, I can work on Viola. That’s what you do for someone you love.

  ~ * ~

  After dinner, Mel asked to borrow Viola’s phone to call her mother. Viola sourly relinquished her phone but stayed in the living room with Mel as Mel called her mother.

  “Make sure to tell your mom you’ll have a phone by tomorrow,” Bruce said to Mel from the kitchen.

  “Okay,” Mel said.

  Tiffany answered on the first ring. “Do you have a new phone yet?” she asked.

  “Not yet, no,” Mel answered. “But I’ll have one tomorrow.”

  “Good,” Tiffany said. “You sound sad, Mel. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” Mel said.

  “You don’t sound like yourself. Mama said you sounded happy when you spoke to her, but you don’t sound happy now,” Tiffany said.

  Mel noticed Viola appeared shocked then upset.

  “I’m happy and doing well Mom,” Mel assured her. “I got to go, but I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Okay,” Tiffany conceded. “I love you.”

  “I love you too. Bye,” Mel said.

  “Bye,” she said before ending the call.

  “Who’s Mama?” Viola asked.

  “My grandma,” Mel said.

  Viola looked mad. “I didn’t know you spoke to your grandma. Why didn’t you call her in front of me? What did she have to say about me?” she asked.

  “I spoke to her after my session with Eli,” Mel said. “I had asked yesterday to use your phone to call Grandma, but we never got around to it. I wanted to call her today while I had a moment. I knew that once you got home, we would be too busy for me to talk to her. She’s happy for me.”

  “Huh, you should have told me sooner,” Viola said. “It makes me think you are hiding other things from me.”

  Mel was confused. “No, I’m not hiding anything. What would I have to hide? I don’t understand why this is a big deal,” she said.

  “Just tell me next time,” Viola said.

  “Okay,” Mel said.

  “Fine,” Viola said. “I’m going to go for a walk with Daren. Go work on your music.” She walked into the kitchen without kissing Mel good-bye.

  Mel watched Viola leave and wasn’t quite sure how she felt. Why didn’t she give me a kiss? What did I do wrong? She didn’t understand why Viola was upset. Her abdomen clenched from nerves along with other emotions she couldn’t quite define. Whatever the sensation was that Mel was feeling, Mel hoped she never felt this way again because it hurt her heart. It won’t happen again, she thought. It’ll only get better. It has to. She’s my mate, right?

  ~ * ~

  Mel went upstairs and played her guitar. Instead of being upbeat, the melody was sorrowful and pained.

  ‘I offered my love and you demanded more/ Swallowed my soul to overflow your cup/ Leaving me dried up and tossed aside/ The truth is you’ll never have enough.’

  Mel felt the lyrics, but didn’t want to write them down. She didn’t like how effortlessly the words came to mind. That’s not the reality of the situation. I’m just being dramatic. Besides, I want to only write loving lyrics. I only want to write about beauty and positivity, she thought.

  Viola slipped into the bedroom. She noticed Mel looked sad as she played her guitar. She walked over to Mel and lightly tugged the guitar out of her hands.

  Mel began; “Wha-”

  Viola’s lips crashed onto Mel’s. Her hands roamed over Mel’s body, awakening her passion. Mel succumbed to the kiss as her hands traced across Viola’s body.

  Clothes flew in all directions as they tumbled together into bed. Mel tried to keep her moans low as Viola touched and kissed her.

  Viola ended up with her head between Mel’s legs. Her tongue and fingers created a sweet hunger within Mel. Mel climaxed; every cell filled with pleasure.

  Viola’s lips found
Mel’s as she grinded against her. She grabbed Mel’s ass as they rubbed against each other. The sweet friction created another build up within Mel. She and Viola quickly found their release.

  They clung to each other in the aftermath.

  Viola fell asleep, lying in Mel’s arms.

  Mel was tired, but also wide awake and confused. How is it that Viola was so cold when she left, but suddenly was like that after a walk? she thought. And she was mad because she thought I said I loved her for sex, but now she wanted to again and initiated it.

  You’re in love. Fights happen. It’s part of how relationships work, Mel told herself. She was able to comfort herself enough that she fell into a semi-restless sleep.

  Chapter 22

  Mel was running, but she wasn’t moving. Bill stood behind her, laughing as he watched her fail to get away. He aimed his gun at her back. “Soon, you’ll be mine,” he said.

  He fired.

  BOOM! The world exploded. Heat seared against her face. She felt her body disintegrate into nothingness.

  Mel collapsed at her father’s feet. She slowly stood in front of her father. He was watching her with his big sad blue eyes.

  “Why aren’t you saying anything?” Mel asked. “Don’t you care?”

  He didn’t speak as he gently patted her shoulder.

  Memories flooded through Mel. She was a child giggling as her father sang silly made-up songs. She was a child smiling as her father told her grand stories of her choosing about kickball and fireworks. She was a teen, angry at the world and at her parents. She was a teen who felt abandoned by her father when she needed him the most. She was a teen when her father got sick and before she had the chance to make reparations. She was an adult, sitting by her father’s grave during his funeral.

  “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Why was it like this?” Mel demanded. “You’re too kind to deserve a life like this. Why would God allow it? Why? Why did this happen?”

  He squeezed her shoulder and kissed her forehead. “Don’t let my unhealthy patterns become yours,” he said lovingly. “Heal yourself. Heal our line. Break the habit.”