I survived?
Hot wetness dripped from the corners of my eyes.
I survived.
With the onslaught of memories—sliding down the abandoned slides at Rush Ruins, making promises I desperately wanted to keep, the taste of her supple lips—also came a bombardment of other memories and concerns. There were too many questions in my brain I knew without a doubt would hurt to have answered.
I closed my eyes, desperately seeking unconsciousness.
It didn’t come.
My eyes found the angel. Couldn’t handle looking away. I wondered what she was dreaming about. Her bottom lip twitched, as if she were speaking, but I couldn’t make out her words. Her legs started to shift and then her head moved to the other side of the chair, starting a new drool puddle. All the while, hot tears seeped from my eyes.
There was an unfathomable ache inside of me. It went too deep. It was too much.
I’d spent my life knowing how it would end. People who grow up on the streets don’t bother looking beyond today. But I had, in my own way. In my heart I wanted out. Better. But when I met Rya, my fears flipped. I was so worried about her being in danger, I forgot that the real target the entire time was me.
I was both terrified to see her eyes and holding my breath.
Nothing made sense right now but her.
It didn’t happen for an excruciatingly long time. I lay there, unmoving, studying her. I didn’t know why or how, but it felt like I was seeing her for the first time. Through different eyes. Honest, fearless eyes. I wasn’t afraid to love her anymore.
I couldn’t wait.
A sound clicked on my right and then blinding lights exploded overhead. I groaned, unable to lift my hand to shield my eyes. I closed them instead.
“Are you awake?” someone asked, a shocked, amazed quality to her tone. “Mr. Moreno?”
I ordered my lips to move. Quickly, I learned that speaking was similar to moving my limbs. The connection between my brain and lips was broken. I knew what I wanted, but my body couldn’t do it. Along with the fragile clarity came other doses of awareness. One of them being pain. Twisting in my chest and throat. I hurt. All over. Even though I looked fine. Actually, I couldn’t see myself.
For all I knew, I was half a person.
Or paralyzed.
The beeping on the monitor went crazy. The hot liquid in my eyes spilled over like scorched waterfalls. I hurt worse. Bile rose in my throat.
A face came into view. I didn’t know the person it belonged to. She wore dark blue scrubs and her voice sounded far away. “Mr. Moreno, please calm down. I know it’s scary but putting stress on your body and mind could have life-threatening consequences. Relax. You’re safe.”
I tried to get my mouth to work. Gurgling bubbled out of my throat, the ache inside like swallowing needles. But I managed to say one thing. “Rya.”
I hadn’t meant to say that. I’d had questions. But with my mind struggling, it had to condense the only thing that mattered and all of my fears into the one word that mattered. A name.
“Romeo.”
The beeping on the monitor soared.
The nurse tried to insist that I calm down, but my name on those sweet lips snagged my attention. My head turned slowly to where Rya had been sleeping.
She was sitting up, her blanket on the floor. Tears sparkled in her jade green eyes. Those tears said a lot. They answered questions I had before the shooting, and they answered questions I had after the shooting.
I saw shock, hope, relief, fear, and something else in those tears. Something I’d looked for my entire life. True, unwavering love. Papa loved Mama and the gang. I could admit that to myself now. If he loved his family, he wouldn’t have forced us to live in poverty and violence. Mama loved Papa, maybe even more than Diego and me, more than the twins. But she was my mom. I loved her without trying. She created me. But she wasn’t here, in my hospital room, with tears in her eyes that said so much the way Rya’s did. All my life I’d been positive I wouldn’t have one.
But looking into Rya’s eyes, I wanted a life. So incredibly much I couldn’t tell whose heart was begging more.
Hers or mine?
“Miss Triston, he needs to calm down.” The nurse’s voice wobbled in and out, deep in some places, far away in others. “It’s imperative we lower his stress. Maybe you can help me with that.”
Rya nodded. I hadn’t looked away from her. “Okay. Yeah.” She wiped her eyes and fixed her face, but her eyes said it all. They always had. “Everything is okay, Rome. I promise.” She patted her chest, right over her heart. “Please breathe.”
Shockingly, I found that I could. Even with all the ache and horrors in my mind, I could finally breathe. The beeping on the monitor slowed; my chest didn’t hurt as badly.
The nurse blew out a relieved breath and touched her hands to my face. “We’ve been waiting for you to wake up for a long time, Mr. Moreno. But you’re not out of the woods yet, so please remember that. I’m going to get your doctor. He can better explain your situation to you.” And then she looked at Rya. “I think it’s best if you come with me.”
My heart monitor went off the deep end.
“Or not.” The nurse scuttled out of the room, leaving me alone with the angel.
Maybe it was being alone with her that brought forth the excruciating ache inside, but the moment it was just us, I remembered everything missing. But mostly, I remembered everything I almost lost.
Rya stood there, body slightly swaying back and forth. Clear tears cascaded down her beautiful face.
My left hand obeyed my orders and rose slightly off the bed, my fingers twitching.
Hers was in mine without a hint of hesitation. The moment her palm pressed against mine, I felt the horrors and hope amass into one throbbing pain in my brain and heart.
“Angel.”
Her other hand went over her mouth. “Romeo.”
She let my hand go and fell across my chest, pressing her face against mine. Her smell overwhelmed me. Warm vanilla and sweet pineapples. My mouth watered. My soul, too. I inhaled her hair, her shoulder; I wanted her to fill my lungs, to erase the memory of acrid gunshots.
Her tear-soaked lips kissed my face. “I’m so happy you’re awake.” Her sobbing overtook her entire body, and she moved her face to my neck.
Her pain was so strong, it made mine okay to exist. “It’s hard to talk,” I attempted, the scratchy gravelly tone of my voice unfamiliar.
“Don’t talk. Rest.” She kissed my chin and then she met my eyes. “Breathe.” Her soft lips pressed delicately to mine, both of our eyes open. She stood up and wiped her eyes and then she wiped mine.
The door opened and two people came in. An older man in scrubs and the nurse who’d been in earlier. When he saw me awake, he looked heavenward and whispered something, touching the cross necklace around his neck.
“Romeo Moreno, you have no idea how happy I am to see you awake.” He touched my right hand, giving Rya a wink. “See what happens when you keep faith alive? I’m Dr. Brandt. You’ve been in a coma since the beginning of October. It’s a week from Christmas. December eighteenth. It’s been about ten weeks since your accident. I have some questions I’d love to ask if you’re up for it. If not, it’s perfectly okay to rest and get your bearings. I know you must be confused. What about pain? Squeeze my hand for intolerable, blink for manageable, and close your eyes for in the middle.”
“I can talk,” I choked out, my throat so cracked and swollen. “But it hurts to do.”
He gave me a patient smile. “Squeeze, blink, or close.”
I blinked for manageable.
“Great. If it gets too much, let Nurse Hayden know, or me. We’re reluctant to give you anything heavy because you were in a coma, so we’ll start off slow. And honestly, feeling pain right now is a blessing.”
I let out a pained breath.
“As for your throat, you were intubated for a long time while you healed from your injuries and during you
r surgeries. We didn’t want to risk removing the breathing tube until we were positive you could breathe on your own. Which you have been doing just fine.”
He leaned close and moved apart the gown on my chest, revealing my entire bare torso.
“This is where the bullet entered your chest, shattered your sternum, and narrowly missed your heart. This bullet however nicked one of your arteries and you were in surgery for eight hours. Initially, we were reticent to administer too much anesthesia. In your case, the more oxygen the better, but your injuries were so severe I made the choice to put you under full anesthesia.”
He met my eyes. “I wasn’t sure until today if that saved your body or saved you. I think we can both agree it was the latter. But the stress of the injuries, the extreme blood loss, and the anesthesia put you in a coma. I’ll be honest with you. We weren’t sure if you’d wake up at all, and if you did wake up, if you’d maintain your full faculties.”
He grabbed his cross, continuing. “We’ll do full neurological scans to determine the extent or if any damage was done to your brain. As for these wounds,” he said, moving on to point to five other bullet wounds. “This one shattered two of your ribs, but both have mended. These four went in and out, missing all major organs. Your coma saved your body a lot of damage and pain. It had time to heal, but this is the wound I’m worried about.”
He pointed to the nastiest one. A puckered raw mass of scar tissue in the middle of my chest. “You’ll be in pain for quite some time and your heart cannot, under any circumstances, manage stress right now.” He gave Rya a look before returning to me. “Right now, your only focus should be healing and resting. When you’re strong enough for physical therapy, we’ll start working on making your heart strong again. Although something tells me it has no problem in that department.”
He squeezed my hand again. “Rest for a few hours and then I’ll have you brought up for brain scans. In the meantime, Nurse Hayden will take care of you. Rya, a word, if you don’t mind?”
She nodded, her eyes trying to give him her attention, but they kept drifting over to mine. “Yeah, of course.”
I watched her leave, my chest throbbing when the door closed. The nurse toyed with the tubes and wires coming from my body. As I lay there, an overwhelming rush of exhaustion overtook me. I tried to stay awake with everything I had, but I could barely lift my eyes.
Darkness eclipsed the lights and I felt myself drift.
When my eyes opened again, it was a replay of the first time. Only, Rya wasn’t there and the doctor had to come back in and tell me everything he’d said to me all over again. That time, I managed to ask one question and stay awake long enough to drink some water.
“When will Rya be back?”
My nurse gave me a soft smile and checked her watch. “Soon, I’d bet.”
But I passed out before she did. It was a game of tag but we both kept losing. It felt like years and only seconds passed between waking up and falling back asleep.
Until finally, I woke up and she was there.
Relief lodged in my throat and I cleared it.
Her head snapped up. The book she was reading was instantly forgotten. She set it on the table beside my bed. The table alerted me to the difference in this room compared to the last one. It was less terrifying and sparser.
“They moved you to a private room,” Rya said softly, reading my thoughts. She took my hand.
I managed to squeeze her fingers, meeting her eyes.
It was sweet torture looking into her eyes.
“How long has it been since I woke up?”
“Two days.”
I let out a frustrated groan. “Why can’t I stay awake?”
“You’re healing,” she insisted gently. “It’s tiring on your body. Your heart. Don’t stress yourself out trying to stay awake. Sleeping is good for you. Sleep as much as you want.” She brought my hand to her lips, kissing the back of it. “As long as you wake up.”
“Where do you go?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“When you leave? Where do you go? I can’t picture… anything.”
She hesitated for a second and then she pulled her chair close and rested her chin on our conjoined hands. “I go home.”
“Home?” I tried to remember her home. I tried to remember my home. I knew what both looked like, but it felt like a different me had seen them first. “School?”
She shook her head slowly. “No, it’s Christmas break. We don’t go back to school until January.”
“We?”
“Kenzie. The twi—” she began and then cut herself off, her eyes trying and failing to cover up her hesitation. “How do you feel?”
“Why are you lying to me?” She was keeping things from me.
She bit her lip, her eyes getting teary. “I can’t tell you anything, Romeo. Dr. Brandt made me promise. If you need to worry about it, I can tell you. But if you don’t, I can’t tell you. And since I’m doing my best to intercept any and all of your worries, you don’t need them. Okay?” she stressed. “I’m taking care of everything.”
“What is everything?” I demanded, frustrated that I knew the exact questions she didn’t want to answer.
Which started to make me nervous. A sick feeling moved over me, and I forced my mind to delve. Deep. Go where it was afraid to go; the heart monitor sped up. There were gunshots, blood, screaming—some bloodcurdling, some smaller but no less horrific.
“Romeo, please,” she begged, kissing our fingers. “Don’t do it.”
I fought through the panic in my body. “The twins. Gabby. Antony. Where are they? Rya! Where are they?”
“Don’t yell. You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“Why aren’t you answering me? Did they—? Are they—?”
“No,” she insisted. “Gabby and Antony are fine. Physically.”
A wave of emotion hit me. I closed my eyes and thanked God. The three people I loved the most in the world were okay. “Wait. Physically? What does that mean?” I knew what that meant. They’d watched their older brother get gunned down right in front of them. “Oh no,” I wailed, losing my mind. “They were probably so scared. So traumatized. And you. Rya, you were there! You could have— we all could have—” Nausea slammed into me and I lay back, squeezing my eyes shut.
“Romeo, please, please calm down. I promise with all my heart that they’re okay. I would never ever let them suffer. Look at me.” I did. A fierce truth burned in her eyes. “They’re taken care of. I promise. You have to trust me.”
“I do trust you.”
“Then let me worry about them. They’re much better anyway since they found out that you’re awake.”
Realization dawned on me—the things she wasn’t saying, the things she had. “Wait. They’ve seen me like this?” I pointed at my broken, scarred body. “How could you let them see me like this?”
She pointed at me, her finger wobbling, her voice wobbling too. “Don’t you dare berate me for that. Those two kids have been through hell and they deserved to replace the last memory they had of you with this one. Because trust me, you in a hospital bed was a lot better than you in a car covered in blood.”
Deep regret settled over me. “Rya, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
She backed away from me, sobbing too hard to stop. “I can’t forget seeing you like that. I can’t.” She doubled over, hyperventilating.
I wanted to get out of my hospital bed and go to her. “Angel, please.” I reached for her, thankful that I could do that. “Breathe, baby. You tell me to breathe, you need to do the same.” I tried to sit up just as the door opened and my nurse poked her head in. “Give us a second, please,” I growled.
She shook her head. “Rya, I think it’d be better if you came back tomorrow.”
That made Rya cry harder.
“She didn’t do anything,” I said. “She doesn’t need to leave. Rya, don’t leave.”
Nurse Hayden put her arm around Rya, w
hispering something in her ear. Rya looked down and nodded, grabbing her bag.
“Rya. Don’t leave. I’m sorry.”
She came over to me, clutched my face in both of her hands, and looked into my eyes. Her tears made them shimmer like jade stones. “Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t want to stress you out. I don’t want to hurt you, Romey. With the truth or my hurt. Every time you look at me, you should see your toffee midnight eyes. They break. I don’t want to break you.”
Was she insane? “You’re not breaking me, Angel. You’re the only thing holding me together.”
She pressed her forehead gently to mine. “Rest. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
I sighed in frustration. “What if I’m not awake?”
“Then I’ll wake you up.” She pressed a kiss to my lips and then walked out of the door.
I cut my eyes to the nurse, too pissed to speak.
She poured me a glass of water and set it in my hand. “Your health is my main priority. Not your relationship.”
“Why can’t she answer my questions?”
“Because sometimes, Romeo, the answers are more painful than the questions.” She nudged my hand. “Drink. The doctor wants you to try eating real food today. Now that we know your brain scans showed your cognitive functions are operating smoothly, we need you to get your strength up so you can run after your girl.”
I snorted. “I thought you didn’t care about my relationship.”
“It’s hard not to root for love. She’s an incredibly strong girl. And you’re as strong as they come. One day, beauty with outshine this darkness.”
I drove myself crazy after Rya left, trying my hardest to remember everything. Unfortunately, I succeeded. I was numb and shattered by the time she came back. I was awake, sitting up, having just finished eating breakfast. I missed Mama’s cooking. I missed a lot, and that scared me. I wasn’t sure there was anything left in my old life to miss. Most of me was okay with that. I wanted to leave the past in the past no matter what. I wanted a future.
Romeo and the Angel: Impossible Crush Chronicles Page 20
