by Roya Carmen
I told myself this would just be sex. I was a fool.
Thankfully, extreme arousal has not yet rendered me a complete idiot. A pressure grows at my core. With every touch, every lick, it grows into a big ball of doubt. Remorse. Culpability.
Touching Ruby feels like a betrayal. I was responsible for Olivia’s death, and as punishment, I vowed to only ever love her. I swore to myself that I would never love another. She was to be my only one until the day I died. I’ve resigned myself to a life of solitude, cut off from the world. This is the only way – I can’t live through another heartbreak. To let myself love is to lay out the welcome mat, push the doors wide open, and yell “Come in!” to heartbreak.
I was sure there was no one else for me. No one could ever measure up to Olivia. And then I met Ruby. She is sweet and perfect, and she has opened her heart to me. I don’t deserve her love, and she certainly would be better off without mine.
I pull away swiftly. My lips ache for hers. My hands are restless, my cock livid. My whole body revolts, wanting to reach for her. Fucking get it together. This is just sex.
That’s when I lose control again. My cock takes over and leads the show. It beats my heart into submission. My poor, weak, sympathetic heart.
She’s no different than Anita, my cock scoffs. What makes her any better? This is sex. This is just about getting off. Stop kissing her and just fuck her already. Get a taste of that sweet pussy.
I stand abruptly. She’s still on the floor, and her hands cling to my leg. She seems so small at my feet.
She isn’t sweet. She isn’t beautiful. She’s just a sweet wet pussy, my cock screams. She wants this as much as you do. I struggle to justify this, to finally let myself have her. She’s done this before. This is just sex to her.
This woman loved my books, and there isn’t much beauty in my books – only angst and ugliness. This is playtime, I remind myself. Show her a good time. It’s all she wants. It’s all you want.
Her gaze fixes on mine, confused, and I get absolutely lost in those lovely eyes. They say eyes are windows to the soul, and right then, I feel as if I can see her soul in all its glory. And what a beautiful soul it is. All sweetness and squeaky clean – not a single stain. She is devastatingly beautiful. No matter what I tell myself, she is not just a sweet wet pussy.
She’s too sweet for this. I need her to really understand the reality of our situation. Unfortunately, I’m not available. I know she wants sex too, but she cannot get emotionally involved with me. If she’s looking for something more than sex, I can’t be with her.
I just need to make sure.
I smile at her – it’s a forced gesture. “You’re very zealous, Miss Riverstone.”
She smiles and rises to her feet. I pull her toward me, hard. I bury my hands in her hair and grab her skull firmly. I turn her head slowly to the clock on the wall.
“It’s four forty-five,” I point out. “I can’t have you yet.”
Her lips curl into a wicked smile. “Why, Mr. Hyde, you sure are a stickler for details.”
Ruby
Damn, these rules.
His eyes are a amazing shade of green when he says the dreadful words, “I can’t have you yet.”
I feel playful, and I’m definitely up for this game. All I want is for him to sink his teeth into me and gobble me up. “We haven’t even signed the agreement yet. It’s just a little detail.”
He traces his finger along my collarbone softly. “If we are to bother with an agreement, we should try to stick to its stipulations.”
And with those words, he turns from me. I’m shocked. I stand there with my pencil skirt around my waist, confused as all get-out. He was all over me a few seconds ago, and now this…
My sex aches as it clings to the hope that he will slide his hand across my desk, throw everything to the floor, shove me over its top, and take what I desperately want to give him. I shimmy to slip my skirt back over my hips and let it slide down my legs. He cocks a brow, pinning me with his stare. He makes his way around the desk and grabs the sheet of paper. He sinks into the swivelling chair.
A smile traces his lips as he signs his name at the bottom of what I assume is our agreement. His signature is wild, masculine, and somewhat illegible. “You do realize that this agreement is just a formality between the two of us? If it were a true binding contract, it would need to be overseen by an attorney and witnessed as well.”
I nod. “I understand, but in the event…” I don’t want to think about the consequences of our actions, so I stop myself right there.
I stand against the desk, across from him, with the edge of the heavy wood pressed against my hips. He swivels the sheet in my direction. I stare down at it as he hands me the pen. Without reading the agreement, I scribble my name eagerly then turn to the clock. It’s almost five o’clock.
“Only ten more minutes,” I point out with a smirk.
“Ten minutes is perfect. I want to talk about this… about this arrangement.”
I nod and sit on the edge of the desk.
He sucks in a deep breath. “At the risk of sounding like a completely insensitive jerk, I need to say this. I need to make sure we’re on the same page.”
I nod again.
“I like you a lot, Ruby. I’m very fond of you. I appreciate you as an employee and a friend, but I cannot offer you more. If you harbour any idyllic fantasies about me – about a serious relationship of any sort – I need to tell you right now that that just won’t be possible.”
My chest tightens. Not so much because I want to be serious with him but because I find him arrogant. He presumes I will fall madly in love with him as soon as he lays a hand on me.
“Don’t worry. We’re on the same page,” I say. “Actually, we’re in the same paragraph. In the same sentence even. I have no interest in being in a serious relationship with you. For one, you’re too old and serious for me. I’m too young to settle down.”
He seems stricken by my words, but he recovers quickly. Yes, I can be arrogant too. Two can play that game.
His mouth settles into a straight line. “Perfect then.”
I look at my watch again.
A playful smile curves his lips. “It’s almost that time.”
We stare at each other for a long beat.
“Anticipation,” he says quietly. “It’s delicious. Lovemaking without anticipation is akin to a recipe without spices. We should take our time and savour it.”
I smile. “I agree… but perhaps we’ve had enough anticipation already.”
He shakes his head. “There’s no such thing as too much anticipation. It’s something I can’t get enough of in my writing.”
“I’ve noticed,” I say with a chuckle. “I’m usually thinking, ‘Get it on already!’ But all the while, I’m glued to the pages.”
He laughs. “That’s the intent.”
The sound of Millie at the door startles me. August looks as surprised as I am to see her.
“Sorry to interrupt,” she says, “but the guy is here about the water softener. I was expecting him earlier, but he’s late.”
August cocks a brow, clearly confused. “I thought you’d left.”
“I was about to, but then the water softener guy showed up.”
“What about your son?”
“Oh, I called him, and his girlfriend is picking him up,” she says.
“Oh good. How long will you be?”
She shrugs. “I have no clue.”
Way to ruin the mood, Millie. I bite my lip and look at August.
He smiles. “Like I said… anticipation. Sometimes it’s best to wait for things.” He turns his gaze toward Millie. “Thank you, Millie. I appreciate you staying. Feel free to come in a little later tomorrow morning.”
“Sure, boss,” she says, then she disappears.
“You, Miss Riverstone, are free to leave for the day.” He looks at his watch. “It’s almost five o’clock.”
I laugh, but then I realize h
e’s serious. “But, August…”
He turns from me. “You should go.”
I sulk a little when I ask, “It’s not a great time, is it?”
He shakes his head, looking as dejected as I feel. I frown, inwardly cursing Millie and that idiot of a water softener guy. He’s ruining my sex life.
“I think you’re right.” I reluctantly wiggle off the desk. “Did you want me to make a copy of this contract before I leave?”
He smiles. “Sure.”
I take the sheet of paper and walk away. Just as I get to the copier, I turn to see him gazing at my backside. He seems as frustrated as I am.
He offers to walk me to the door when I leave, and I accept, wanting just another minute with him.
Oh my…
My heart is still hammering as I peel off my chunky heeled boots and hang my jacket. Today is Wednesday, and that means it’s family dinner night. I sigh, wishing I could excuse myself. I’m so damn worked up that all I want to do is dash to my bedroom, lock the door, stare at the ceiling, and dream about August. I want to relive every touch, every taste, and every single second of that naughty make-out session. And let’s face it – it would be a lot of fun to rub one out. I still can’t believe that just happened. I can’t believe he left me high and dry like that. He’s definitely a strange one, unlike any guy I’ve ever been with.
Maybe I can pretend I’m sick. I mull over the option, but I really don’t want to deal with Amber’s pestering concern. What’s wrong? Are you coming down with something? I have some Tylenol and Pepto-Bismol. Besides, I’ve never been a good liar.
I saunter into the kitchen, still winded and flushed. Amber is chopping away, apparently working on a salad – this one has mangos. I smile and offer to help, so she puts me right to work whipping up some whipped cream for the strawberry shortcake. The old red KitchenAid whirls, and my thoughts get lost in the noise. I imagine August swirling whipped cream all over me then licking it off…
Damn.
Amber reminds me to add a bit of sugar – I always forget. I want to tell her all about August. I want to dish. But I know she wouldn’t approve of me getting involved with my boss. Maybe it’s wrong, but it feels so damn right. And still, I can’t stop thinking about him. I’m brought back to his touch, the feel of him as he played with my ass… such a dirty boy. A smile traces my lips as the memory consumes me.
No one else is here yet. Flynn and Aiden have yet to arrive, and Trevor is watching cartoons in the living room.
I check my watch. “How long until dinner?”
Amber turns to me. “About thirty minutes.”
Mmm… plenty of time…
“Um, I’m kind of worn out,” I say, feigning exhaustion. “Do you mind if I go take a little nap before dinner? I know I usually help you out but—”
Her brows furrow. “No problem. Are you sure you’re all right? You look a little flushed.”
I blush even more. “Uh, I’m fine. I should probably get out of these work clothes. And I just need a little nap…”
A little nap…yep, that’s what we’re calling it these days.
I bound up the stairs to my room. As soon as I set foot in the small space leading to my bedroom, I lock the door. I don’t even bother walking up the stairs to my bed. I lean my back against the door and close my eyes. I suck in a long breath and reach for the hem of my skirt. I’m brought back to August’s touch – he hiked up my skirt so slowly, so sensually. And when his warm hands finally made contact with my ass, I almost melted. My legs wobbled; my sex throbbed. With just at the memory of it, my pussy swells.
I peel off my panties, the same panties August so skilfully got into when he explored and teased me. I sweep my hand along my wetness, and I press my fingers against my clit, imagining they’re his. This feels a bit depraved and so damn good. A tingle runs up my spine as the delicious pressure builds. I close my eyes and tilt my head back when I finally get my release. I moan softly as the sensation overtakes me. I imagine August again – his sweet lips on mine, his soft kiss.
When I come to, I feel a bit ridiculous, standing there against a door with my lace panties still tangled around my ankles, the red tips of my toes staring back at me. What in the heavens is wrong with me? Who absolutely needs a quick jerk-off before dinner? The infamous, sexy-as-hell August Hyde has turned me into a lust-filled, out-of-control, sex-crazed woman.
I run to my bathroom and wash my face and hands. I was just a little worked up and needed to ease the tension. That’s a nicer, less embarrassing way of saying “mad horny.”
I lie down on the bed and stare at the ceiling. I try not to think of the consequences of our actions today, but I can’t help it. This is huge. This will change everything. I close my eyes and slip away…
I wake with a start and jump off my bed. I slip into some comfy leggings and a long colourful T-shirt and head downstairs. I feel really embarrassed for some reason. As I turn at the landing of the stairs, I remind myself that I’m a healthy, vivacious woman and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with masturbating once in a while. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a little playtime with the boss either. Consenting adults and all that…
“There she is,” Flynn quips. “Always so fashionably late.”
“What kept you so long?” Amber asks.
I blush crimson. “Um, you know, stuff… nap.” God, why did this sex-fest have to happen on a Wednesday? I take a seat next to Trevor, across from my big brother.
As he digs into roast beef, Flynn catches my eye. “So how’s the job, Ruby?”
I feel a blush creep across my cheeks again. I look at my plate and make a production of pressing a little reservoir into my mashed potatoes. I pour the hot gravy in it slowly, not once looking up at him. “It’s good. He keeps me busy.” I bite down a smile. Yep, he sure does that.
“He’s probably working you pretty hard,” Aiden chimes in. “From what I remember, the guy was a real stickler. He must be a pain to work under.”
My future brother-in-law knows August Hyde… but not quite in the same way as I do. I can’t help myself when I say, “He’s actually rather fun to work under.”
Aiden cocks a brow. “Really? I thought he was a bit of a jerk when I worked for him.”
“He’s not so bad,” I tell him. “He’s pretty cool. And his bird is pretty cute.”
Thankfully no one seems to clue in. Everyone is too busy stuffing their faces. Amber has outdone herself tonight – everything is delicious. Despite my earlier reservations, I’m glad to be here with my family. I know I’m blessed to have them.
“So, Trevor,” Amber starts. “What was the most special part of your day today?”
Oh no… not this… not now.
This is a little ritual Amber, Aiden, and Trevor have. It’s a family bonding thing, and of course, I always get roped into it too.
Trevor’s face lights up. “When I brushed Joey at the barn. Uncle Flynn said I did a good job.”
Flynn beams, and I’m struck by the resemblance between him and Trevor: the ginger hair, the big expressive eyes, the infectious wide smile. “He sure did.”
“So what about you, Flynn?” Amber asks. “What was your best moment?”
He smiles. “Same as Trevor’s.”
So sweet… these two.
“How about you?” I ask Aiden.
He smiles in Amber’s direction. “When I got home to my gorgeous fiancée.”
Oh please….
Flynn and I laugh a little.
“Good answer, Aiden,” Flynn says.
Aiden shrugs. “What? I mean it! What can I tell you? I’m in love.”
Seriously, Amber and Aiden are so sweet together it’s mildly sickening.
And then Amber, as sweet as she is, poses the question to me. “How about you, Ruby? Best moment?”
I stare at my plate and twirl my fork around in my food. I’ve inherited the annoying Riverstone Irish blush – there’s no getting away from it. I’m convinced th
ey can all see through me
“Um… I…” My brain scurries to compute an appropriate answer, but my dirty mind is chock-full of only the filthiest images: August on his knees licking my ass, August’s playful fingers leisurely travelling between my legs, my release against my bedroom door. “Um, there are so many to choose from. I had a pretty good day.”
“Just choose one,” Trevor presses.
Oh God… I shake my head and knock some sense into myself. “Well, I had a really good lunch actually. Millie, this woman at my work, makes the best crab salad sandwiches. Lunch was my best…”
“Ewww,” Trevor spews. “Crab sandwiches. That sounds really gross.”
I dig my fork into Amber’s tender roast beef, but when it lands on my tongue, it feels chewy.
“Did you know that there are two kinds of elephants?” Trevor asks. “There’s the African elephant and the Asian elephant. The Asian elephant is smaller. It has smaller ears too.”
I smile, thankful for the reprieve.
Trevor goes on. “Both the male and female African elephants have tusks, but only the Asian male has tusks.”
Flynn grins and ruffles Trevor’s hair. “Fascinating.”
I smile at them. It’s just another night with my amazing family. I finally manage to push away thoughts of August. Yet a small part of me wonders what’s in store for tomorrow.
August
Her devastatingly beautiful eyes almost did me in. We had a plan already set in motion. I had her in my arms. I owned her. Her lips were begging for mine. But in the end, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t use her for my own pleasure and treat her like a sex object. She’s too good for that.
Sex without strings…
Ruby isn’t the kind of woman who does sex without strings.
I could see it in her eyes. The way she gazed at me – there was hope, vulnerability, a certain naiveté. Ruby Riverstone is already falling for me. And I have to admit that I’m slipping too. Love… this was not on the agenda. Another stipulation needs to be added to the agreement. No falling in love.
