by Melissa Hill
‘No, it feels better now.’
‘OK Heidi. That’s good.’ Kim sat back. ‘I think you’ll be fine. It’s still very early days and I think you just had a case of Braxton Hicks, known as false labour. I’ve had it myself. It can usually be stopped by changing position, like we just did.’
‘So he’s not coming early?’ Heidi opened her eyes.
‘He?’ Kim repeated, raising an eyebrow.
She nodded. ‘Yes, we are having a boy.’
She smiled. ‘You never said anything . . .’
‘You never asked.’
Kim shook her head. ‘Point taken. I’m sorry.’
‘I didn’t think you were that interested, because you’ve been telling me to stop being silly and to stop going on about it all the time.’
‘I know, and that was wrong of me too,’ said Kim softly. ‘I hope you will forgive me. I have to remind myself that everyone is different, especially when it comes to this. I know I can be a bit dismissive about certain things, especially when it’s something I’ve been through before.’
Heidi smiled a little. ‘I know, and I suppose that I can be a bit – dramatic sometimes.’
Kim arched an eyebrow. ‘Sometimes?’
Heidi laughed. ‘Actually, I can probably be a real pain. But it can be a bit scary you know.’ She met Kim’s gaze. ‘Thank you Kim, I was . . . I was really worried,’ she admitted reluctantly.
‘Understandable, but it’s fine honestly. You’ll both be fine.’
Heidi closed her eyes again. ‘I guess it must have been very scary that last time for you – with Lindsay I mean.’
Kim looked at her. ‘It was. Very scary. I wasn’t sure if either of us would make it.’
‘I didn’t understand . . . why you wanted to do it a different way this time. Before now I mean,’ she said, referring to Kim’s plans for a C-section. ‘Being honest, it’s the first time I’ve really thought about the baby, and how frightened you can be for it, especially when you don’t know what’s going to happen.’
Kim nodded. ‘That’s why in some cases, control is good. Still, I think you’ll be fine. You come from a family of strong women, your mother especially.’
Heidi followed Kim’s gaze to where Betty was sitting.
‘So what do you think about this thing with Cara? What happens next?’ There was no denying that Heidi still felt as if her world had been rocked.
‘I don’t think it changes anything, not really,’ Kim replied.
‘I guess . . . I guess I always wondered why Mum and Dad preferred her so much over me,’ she said, before she could think too much about it. ‘Now I know.’
Kim looked at Heidi as if seeing her for the first time. ‘I don’t think parents favour any one child over the other,’ she began, but then paused as if realising something. ‘Although, I guess we instinctively react to the one who might need us that bit more.’
‘You think that’s all it is?’ Heidi asked, slightly amazed at herself for confiding her feelings about this to anyone, least of all Kim.
‘Absolutely. You’ll see, when you have your own.’
Heidi sighed afresh. ‘This family is totally messed up now.’
‘Not really,’ Kim said. ‘We are all family, Heidi. And this stuff with Cara and Danielle and your parents – it doesn’t change that. There’s a lot more to sisterhood than biology.’
‘But we can’t go on as if nothing happened,’ Heidi replied, trying to get her head around what Kim was saying.
‘No, I suppose not. But maybe it means that all of us talk more, and become closer. Family is family, you can’t change that, no matter how hard you try. If anything, maybe this brings Danielle back closer to the rest of us. Maybe it’ll mean a new beginning.’
Heidi thought about it all, but still wasn’t so sure. ‘Kim,’ she said, shaking her head, ‘you always did have an interesting way of looking at things.’
Chapter 36
On the other side of the room, Shane wrapped his arms around Cara as she cried out all of her shock and frustration. He was completely unsure of what to say. After all, what was the proper protocol for handling a situation where your fiancée finds out that her older sister is actually her mother?
‘I just don’t know how to go on from this, Shane. I feel so betrayed.’
‘I know honey. I . . . I just don’t know what to say. I don’t have an answer.’
‘They all lied to me. My entire life.’
‘Cara, let’s think of it this way. They lied to give you a good life.’
She moved back and stared up at him, her cheeks tear-stained. ‘How do you mean?’
‘Well,’ he said hesitantly. What did he mean? ‘Your sister, I mean your – I mean Danielle – was just a teenager when you were born. Think of how different your life would have been if you had been raised by anyone other than your mum. Your real mum, not Danielle. Danielle might be biological but that doesn’t mean she’s your mother.’
‘But it’s so weird. And Conor too – it’s just so . . . sick . . .’
‘I’ll give you that. And I have no idea how you must be feeling about it all.’
‘I feel like everything has changed; how can I just go on with everyday life? Maybe we should call this wedding off . . .’
‘No, you are still you. You are the same person, irrespective of what’s just happened. You are Cara, the woman I am going to make my wife the moment that this bloody hurricane passes over us.’
‘You mean the one in here, or the one outside?’ she said, smiling a little.
‘I mean it Cara, we will get through this. You and me. Because we are a team.’
She shook her head sadly. ‘Why would you want someone with so many issues?’
Shane laughed. ‘Last time I checked, it wasn’t you with the issues, it was everyone else.’
‘I don’t even know what to call them any more. I mean my mum is my grandmother and my dad—’
Shane shook his head. ‘No she’s not. Betty is your mum and you would be doing her a disservice by considering her to be anything else. She raised you, she made you who you are, helped you become the woman you are, the woman I fell in love with. She did the right thing. And Danielle, she is still your sister. She wasn’t ready to be a mother, and it takes a brave woman to admit that. Conor might have called her selfish, but really what she did was anything but. She gave you a future, allowed you to be raised by a woman who had your best interests at heart.’
Cara took a deep breath and considered his words. Of course, he had a point, but then again, there was another loose end in all this.
‘And what about Conor?’ she asked. She hated thinking about what he must be going through now.
‘I think that you and Conor will work it out. You have always been good friends, and maybe it’s just fate that you started working for him when you did and developed that great relationship you have. Maybe this was all meant to be. Fate might have a cruel sense of humour, downright sadistic if you think about it really, but maybe she thought that having this all out in the open was better for everyone involved. No more secrets, remember?’ he smiled, and she recalled their own vow to not keep anything from each other.
‘And you still want to marry me, after all this?’ She looked at him doubtfully. She wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to run for the hills.
‘Not a doubt in my mind.’
‘Not even when considering the thousands we are going to have to spend on therapy for me after we get back home?’ she said archly.
Shane smiled and pulled her into his arms and Cara rested her head against his chest. She could hear his heart beating; steady, constant, unwavering. A constant. That was what she needed in her life.
She sighed. ‘You know Shane, you really are the whole package.’
‘Only when I’m with you, honey. Only when I’m with you.’
They both stood still, content in their embrace, feeling as if at that moment they were the only two that mattered, that existed. Th
e rest of the craziness could just bugger off.
Then a tentative voice interrupted them.
‘Excuse me? Cara, is it possible for you and me to have a little chat?’
It was Conor. He wanted to talk. To his daughter.
‘I’ll be over there if you need me,’ Shane said encouragingly. He gave Conor a brief pat on the shoulder as he moved away.
Cara shifted from one foot to the other. To say that she was uncomfortable with this situation would have been a gross understatement. She could barely meet the eyes of the person, the man, who had, only moments previously, been her good friend and boss.
‘So, um,’ Conor said, fumbling for words. ‘I suppose we need to talk, eh?’
‘I suppose.’
‘So it’s been quite a day.’
‘You think?’
He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. ‘Look Cara, I knew nothing about this, not at all. If you think I did—’
‘No Conor, really, I know you didn’t, you’re not that good an actor.’ She couldn’t help it; she smiled. ‘What I don’t understand is, I don’t know how you didn’t know – or make the connection – that Danielle and I were related.’
He shrugged. ‘Well of course I knew you had an older sister who lived in America. But back then I didn’t know anything about Danielle’s family background, and she went by Danni at the time. Anyway it was all so long ago, a lifetime ago, and I guess I tried to forget about her by the time I came back from London, so maybe that’s why the penny never dropped.’
‘And you loved her.’ It was less of a question and more of a statement.
Conor nodded. ‘I did. We were both very, very young, Cara. Danni was very spirited, your mother was right there. I mean, Betty – the one who raised you, um . . .’
‘Go on,’ encouraged Cara. She didn’t want to think about logistics at that moment.
‘Well, she and her mother fought a lot, I remember that much. She was always sneaking out, heading my way. I was quite mad for her really. She was such a free spirit, she just did whatever she wanted. She was so full of excitement and adventure. All the guys I hung around with were in love with her. She was like oxygen. And then suddenly, she was gone from my life. Now I know why. I remember hearing from around that she’d moved to the city, and then not long after that I myself went to London so . . .’
‘And what about now? Do you still have feelings for her?’
‘Being honest Cara, it was a lifetime ago and we were just kids. Yes, I was crazy about her back then, but we’re two completely different people now.’
Cara nodded, understanding. ‘I’m not sure how to think of you right now,’ she offered, wondering about his thoughts on the subject.
He sighed. ‘Truth be told, I’m in the same boat.’
She bit her lip, construing his words to mean that he probably wanted out of here as fast as possible, and away from her.
‘Conor, if it’s any help, I’m happy to offer my resignation. Right here, right now on the spot. I’m sure you don’t want me around the office. I think that would be a bit too much. And for the record, I also completely understand if you want to catch the first flight out of here.’
He frowned. ‘Would you shut up Cara?’
‘What?’ she said gently. ‘I’m giving you an easy out. That’s all.’
‘I don’t want you to leave the job, and I’m not going to leave either. Look, I realise this is not a normal situation, but maybe we just, you know, roll with it.’
‘Roll with it?’
‘Why not? I consider you a friend, and I hope you think of me as the same, but this honestly explains a lot.’
‘Like what?’ she asked, curious.
‘Like, well, the protective feeling I seem to have whenever you are around and how I want the best for you and for no one to ever hurt you. I feel close to you. I think you are an incredible woman.’
Cara smiled. ‘Fatherly concern?’ she said, trying to keep the laughter from her voice.
‘Would you shut it?’ Conor laughed. ‘I mean, look, maybe we aren’t father and daughter from a relationship standpoint, but maybe there is something there that my sixth sense identified when I met you. Some type of instinct. Maybe there is a part of you that reminds me of Danni, but at the same time, you’re your own person, the whole way through. Does that make sense?’
She nodded, appreciative of his comments. Appreciative that he was willing to still be a part of her life. She had to admit, she was certainly surrounded by some wise people. Maybe they could help balance out the crazy.
‘Yes, Conor. It makes sense.’
‘And look, it’s not like I am altogether just fine and dandy with all of this. This has been a serious shock to the system. And I am probably going to have to check straight into a mental hospital when we get back . . .’
‘Join the queue,’ she said.
‘But I suppose what I’m saying is, if you are willing to accept all this, so am I. And maybe, I don’t know, we can figure out how to make it fit into the rest, work and all. Maybe we can figure out our relationship. I can’t guarantee it will happen overnight, but I suppose we will figure it out as we go along.’
Cara looked at the floor and thought about the whole situation. Indeed, it was all too bizarre for words. But then again, what exactly was normal anyway?
Again, she tried to find the humour. ‘So, I have a question about how this all works . . .’
Conor looked nervous. ‘OK, fire ahead.’
‘So say I needed some money . . .’ Cara met his eyes, a smile breaking out on her face.
He snorted. ‘You go to your other dad. Smart-ass.’
Chapter 37
The storm that had both literally and figuratively borne down upon the wedding couple and their guests eventually passed.
The group, amidst all of the new information that had been presented to them and the revelations that had been made, were able to return to their rooms late on the evening of September 12.
‘So what’s a day in the scheme of things? Especially when you have the rest of your lives together,’ Kim laughed as, the following morning, she straightened the veil on Cara’s head. ‘And lucky number thirteen too!’ she winked.
Cara stood by the window, bedecked in all of her wedding finery. She smiled at Kim, realising that while the entire family dynamic had shifted, at least nothing had changed between the two of them. ‘You know, I think I am going to need more than an unlucky number to stop me from getting married today.’
‘Well, you have made it through plenty of obstacles at this stage. Family issues – to say the least – a prenup and potential deal-breaker, an almost break-up with your wonderful fiancé, a hurricane and then finding out your boss is your dad . . . I’d say you had a trial by fire.’ Kim’s eyes sparkled with mischief. ‘You know, if I was a bookmaker, I would place more than a few hundred quid on your marriage. I think you and Shane can get through anything.’
Cara pulled Kim close to her, tears sparkling in her eyes. ‘Thank you.’
‘For what?’ Kim said, as she returned the hug.
‘Just for being you.’
Kim waved an arm. ‘Oh stop it.’
From across the room, a knock sounded on the door. Cara and Kim turned as Heidi peeked her head into the room. ‘Knock knock . . .’ she called out.
‘Is it time?’ Kim asked, as Heidi, looking pretty in her bridesmaid dress, walked to Cara’s side.
‘It is,’ she replied. Since her little scare the day before, Cara had noticed that her younger sister had been much more at ease and relaxed, and she guessed she had Kim to thank for that too.
‘All right then. Let’s go get you married,’ Kim said, tucking her arms into Cara and Heidi’s.
As they were about to leave the room, Betty and Danielle entered, a new peace between them that was plain for all to see. It seemed confession truly was good for the soul and, with the identity of Cara’s father finally revealed, Betty’s worst f
ears about her daughter had been assuaged and her long-held disapproval evaporated.
Danielle and Cara had since had the opportunity to discuss at length the events of all that time ago, and while Cara still felt unbelievably hurt and betrayed at being misled about her parentage all this time, she was doing her best to try to understand and come to terms with Danielle’s decision. It was strange, but despite all she’d learned, she still couldn’t view her as anything other than her sister.
Trying to put herself in Danielle’s shoes back then, she wondered if she herself would have been able to take on the huge responsibility of caring for a young baby, especially when Betty seemed so determined that she wasn’t able for it. And they both knew how forceful their mother could be with her opinions. Danielle hadn’t a chance really. Still, she couldn’t argue that she’d had a wonderful upbringing and Betty and Mick had done an amazing job. She was thankful to Danielle for that much at least.
And she was looking forward to getting to know her sister better. Now that the secret was out, the ice had very clearly thawed between Danielle and Betty, and Cara hoped that this would all go some way to healing rifts and the Clancys being a proper family once again.
‘Oh pet, you look beautiful,’ Betty cried tearfully. ‘Oh no, I think I’m going to cry!’
Cara walked over to the woman she realised would always be her mother. ‘Thank you, Mum. For everything. I love you.’ The two women embraced and as Cara pulled away, she looked at Danielle. ‘Thank you too’.
Danielle looked at the ground, still unable to meet Cara’s gaze. ‘I’m not sure what for,’ she said nervously.
‘You made a tough decision. I can’t imagine being put in that place. But you did make the right one when all is said and done. I am lucky to have such a family.’ She embraced Danielle, who also began to sniffle. Cara pulled away and laughed. ‘Now don’t you cry too, OK? Come on, let’s get out of here quick! I want to get married before anything else can go wrong.’
The sun was heavy on the St Lucia horizon as Cara walked barefoot down the aisle of white sand, a balmy breeze on her skin, her beloved father by her side.
