“I’ve never made myself throw up.”
“You don’t need to. You never put enough in.”
“I ate breakfast today,” she said.
“And you’ve had nothing since.”
“I haven’t had the chance.”
“Fine. Will you eat if we stop somewhere?”
“We need to get back.”
“See? You’re making excuses.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” She crossed her arms. “I’m fine.”
Theo shook his head. “You’ve got all the symptoms. You’re always cold because you don’t have enough body fat to keep you warm.”
“I blame Vermont weather for why I’m cold all the time.”
“All I’m saying is that you don’t eat enough. And you’re going to make yourself really sick if you don’t get a grip on it.”
She knew she couldn’t tell Theo the real reason she ate so little. And even if she did, she wasn’t sure he’d believe her.
“Going quiet isn’t going to shut me up,” he said.
“Theo, why can’t you just let this go?”
“Because I care about you!” he yelled. “There, I said it.”
In spite of herself, Annie couldn’t help but smile. “Look, it’s just … complicated.”
“Always is,” he said under his breath.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just that it’s typical. Girls never say what they mean. They talk around what they mean and when we ask for a clear-cut explanation, we’re told it’s ‘complicated’.“
“My set-up is not typical.”
“And how would I know that?” said Theo.
“What do you want from me?” she yelled.
“I want to be with you,” he yelled back. “There, I said it.”
Silence fell between them. Annie closed her eyes.
But what I really want you to know is that I am in love. Never did I think the love of my life would come in the shape and form that it has. I do not know what will become of this love, but just to know that there exists in this world someone so kind, so strong, so extraordinary – that is enough for me.
“I can’t …” Annie started.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. But can you at least tell me this – is it because you can’t, or because you don’t want to? Because I’ll be honest, Annie, there’s something about you that drives me crazy. Maybe it’s because there’s so much mystery around you, but I don’t think that’s it. I like you. I like that you’re so different, but without trying to be different. You’re interesting, and you’re interested. I don’t know any other girl at school who would react so passionately to finding a letter like Samantha’s in her basement. And no matter what you think, that girl at the library wasn’t my type.” He took a deep breath. “So which is it – because you can’t or because you won’t?”
If Annie wasn’t certain of the laws of gravity then she was sure she could float above the roof of Theo’s truck and watch the girl below play out a scene from the movies. She’d never had a boy tell her he liked her. It was thrilling, titillating, something she’d always hoped would happen, yet certain it never would. But this couldn’t have come at a more hopeless time.
“It’s because I can’t,” she mumbled. “I’m sorry.”
Theo half smiled. “So if you could, you would?”
Annie pressed her knees together. For the first time, she wanted Theo to hear the truth. “Yes, if I could, I would.”
“So,” he said grinning, “you like me then?”
More than you’ll ever know, she thought.
“Maybe,” she smiled.
Theo gently punched her arm.
“Hey, careful,” she teased. “I’ve got a knife, you know.”
“Yeah, I noticed. It was sharp enough already. Be careful. You don’t want to hurt someone.”
“You’re right. I don’t.”
Annie put the knife back in her boot.
“I really don’t know where we go from here,” he said.
“Home,” said Annie. “We go home.”
Annie knew there was no way around it: they were on their way back to her house, back to her mother, back to being on the run. Maybe one day she could tell Theo the truth. But there was also a chance this would never be over and she, like Samantha Weston, would have to be content knowing that the love of her life existed somewhere else in the world.
“Uh oh,” said Theo.
“What’s wrong?”
“There’s a police car behind us.”
“What?”
“His lights are flashing. I’ll just pull over.” Theo signaled and brought the truck to the side of the road, keeping his eyes in his rear-view mirror. “Yep, it’s me he’s pulling over. Oh, great – it’s a state trooper. Those guys are known for being brutal. My dad is going to kill me. Annie?”
Annie had grabbed the dashboard and was struggling to breathe, inhaling and exhaling as if she’d just come out from too long underwater.
“It’s okay,” said Theo, turning off the ignition. “I’ll probably just get a ticket.”
She grabbed the door handle, ready to pull. Theo reached over and put his hand on her arm. “Annie, you can’t get out.”
Theo saw something in Annie’s eyes that he’d never seen before. Annie was scared to death.
He held her hand and took deep inhalations of his own. “Breathe with me. It will be okay. I’m here.”
She began to cry. “I’m sorry, Theo.”
“Hey, come here.” He pulled her in and held her. “Everything is going to be alright.”
A state police trooper appeared at the driver-side window and tapped. Theo rolled it down.
“License and registration, please.”
Theo let go of Annie so he could get the papers from the glove compartment. He handed them to the officer.
“Any idea why I pulled you over?”
“I was going too fast.”
“Bingo.” Then he noticed Annie. “This your girlfriend?”
“Yes.”
“Look at me, young lady.”
Annie clenched her fists, then did as she was told. The officer noticed her tears.
“You okay?”
She nodded.
“You approve of your boyfriend driving like a speed demon?”
She shook her head.
He stared at her for too long, then checked Theo’s license. “You two are a long way from Vermont.”
“Yes,” said Theo. “We’re just heading back now.”
He looked at Theo’s license. “To Battenkill?”
“Yes, sir.”
“How old are you, young lady?”
“17.”
“Have you got any kind of identification?”
Annie hugged her backpack. “No.”
“Well, then, that’s a problem. You’re a minor and a heck of a long way from home with another minor. Did you know we have rules about under-18s coming in from out-of-state?”
“We didn’t know,” said Theo.
“Yeah, I bet you didn’t. Now if you can’t produce any kind of ID, young lady, I’m going to have to bring you in.”
“I’m not from out-of-state,” she said.
“No?”
“No. I’m from Virginia. I have a Virginia learner’s permit.”
“You do?” said Theo.
“I still need to see some ID, young lady.”
Annie slowly unzipped her backpack. She still had the learner’s permit she’d got on her 16th birthday, a week before the night everything changed. She’d left Virginia before she had time to get her license. For all the times she’d stolen a car, she’d never been stopped because she drove perfectly, never crossing lines and obeying all traffic signals.
And now it has all been for nothing, she thought.
She passed the permit over, keeping her hand over her name to prevent Theo from seeing it.
<
br /> “I’m going to have to run this through. You two stay here.”
Annie watched in the side-view mirror as he walked back to his car.
“So,” said Theo, slowly, “you’re from Virginia.”
Annie dug her fingernails into the seat. “Theo, drive.”
“What?”
“Go. Drive.”
“Annie, I can’t. That cop has my license. He knows where I live.”
“You can outrun him.”
“No, I can’t! You’re not thinking straight.”
“If you don’t drive right now I’m as good as dead!” she shouted.
Theo undid his seatbelt and leaned towards her. “You need to start leveling with me. What the heck is going on?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“Then I can’t drive.”
“Theo, you don’t understand.”
“How could I? I only just found out you’re from Virginia! What else don’t I know? Have you known where we were going this whole time?”
“Theo, I …”
The state trooper reappeared at the window, full of smiles. “Righty-ho, kids, looks like this is your lucky day.” He returned Theo’s license. “I’m going to let you off with a warning. But we state troopers talk to guys from other states. If I hear of your truck speeding again I’ll tell them to show no mercy.”
“Yes, sir.”
“As for you, Miss Wright, I need to confiscate this learner’s permit. It expired over a month ago. You need to apply for a new one.”
Please don’t say my first name, she begged. Please don’t say my first name.
“Now you two have a good day,” he said. He leaned into the cab. “And Miss Wright? You tell your boyfriend to slow down.”
She didn’t even nod. Theo waited for the trooper to get back in his car and drive away before pulling into the slow lane.
“Are you okay?” he said.
She nodded.
“You want to tell me what that was all about?”
She shook her head.
Theo pulled the truck back onto the highway and drove, slowly.
Neither of them spoke the whole way back to Vermont.
It was dark when Theo pulled in front of Annie’s house.
“Come by the store tomorrow. I think we could both use some sleep. Let’s clear our heads and try again. And let me make you a sandwich,” he grinned.
“Sure,” she said, even though she knew she wouldn’t. By tomorrow, she would be gone. “Thank you so much for doing this today. Really, it’s been great.”
Theo shrugged. “Yeah, well, believe it or not, I’m interested in finding out what happened to Samantha Weston. And I like you.”
Annie shivered. “I like you, too.”
Theo leaned towards her. “I suppose I can’t kiss you goodbye.”
I can’t, she thought. There’s no use pretending that I can. It will only make him more confused once he realizes I’m gone.
“I have to go,” she said and closed the door behind her before he could respond. She stopped at the door and waved, but it was too dark to see if he had waved back.
“Goodbye, Theo,” she said.
She paused at the front door.
I’ve ruined everything, Annie thought. I never should have gone to Virginia.
This was the end. A Virginia state trooper had her name and the location of the town where she now lived. Annie knew she and her mother would have to leave, tonight. She wasn’t sure where they’d go. They had already made it from one side of the country to the other. They were running out of places to hide. Once they reached the coast Annie feared they’d be left with little choice but to swim.
She thought of Theo. Even he knew too much now.
Maybe one day they would meet again. Maybe once she’d found a new place for her and her mother and enough time had passed, she could get in touch. With any luck, by then he would have found out what happened to Samantha Weston. But it was something he would have to do on his own.
We can’t keep doing this, she thought. I have to do something. Emails and photos aren’t enough. He will kill us, unless I kill him first.
Something had to be done. She just didn’t know what.
She opened the door, dreading having to tell her mother that they had to move.
As soon as she walked into the house she could tell something had changed in her absence. The house was eerily quiet. The television had been turned off. The lamp burned in the living room, and she could hear her mother’s voice. It sounded strange, different, like for the first time in months she had something to say.
Annie walked slowly towards the living room. The first thing she saw was her mother, on the couch. She was sitting up, her legs relaxed in front of her. The blanket she lived under still sat on her lap, but it was folded neatly instead of crumpled. As she stepped into the room, what she saw next nearly made her scream.
It was a man, both familiar and a stranger. He was bearded and tired, bedraggled and rough. He stood up and opened his arms.
“Dad!”
Chapter 20
Samantha did not dare admit to Odus and Amira that she did not know where they were going.
They followed the North Star that night and avoided all signs of life – a barking dog, a neighing horse, a chimney emitting smoke into the night sky. She wasn’t certain how far they’d gone by the time the sun poked over the horizon, calling an end to their traveling for the night. They found a fallen tree overgrown with brambles. Samantha and Odus added to the cover with dead branches and brush. No sooner had they crawled into their makeshift cave than Amira fell asleep on the leaves. Samantha covered her with a blanket.
“You stay here,” she said to Odus. “I’m going to see if there’s anything worth foraging.”
She didn’t wait for Odus to reply, but burst out into the sunlight and looked around the vacant woods. She didn’t know where to begin. Despite the warmth of the past week, the forest’s plants were still in hibernation. She scraped her foot over the ground under a chestnut tree; the few nuts she found were already halfway to becoming one with the earth.
Behind her, there was rustling. Samantha pulled out her pistol and aimed, sighing with relief when she saw it was only a rabbit. She paused. The rabbit was an easy shot. It would provide just enough meat for the three of them, but she risked the shot being heard. Then she remembered Eli’s knife sitting inside her boot. As quietly as she could, she pulled it out, drew back her hand and threw. The knife sailed through the air, but the rabbit ran before it landed.
Samantha fell to her knees.
“What have I done?”
Eli was dead. She had fired her gun at his heart. He would have killed Odus, she thought. He never intended to free them. How could she not have seen who he really was all this time? Perhaps because Samantha herself had been an altogether different person, with different dreams and ideals. Odus and Amira had changed all that.
She couldn’t begin to think about all she’d left. Her father. Her mother. Her home. It was too painful to contemplate.
They stayed in the shelter while the sun forged its path from east to west, all three of them falling in and out of sleep. When they emerged at nightfall, Samantha looked up to find an overcast sky. There was nothing to guide them. The clouds were too thick.
“This way,” she said, helping Amira onto Eli’s horse, avoiding Odus’ eyes for fear he’d see that she did not know which way to go.
They walked for what felt like hours, waiting for the woods around them to change, to reveal something that would point them in the right direction. Samantha could feel blisters forming on her feet and hunger taking over her body. She was about to suggest they rest when she noticed the air felt damp.
“The river,” she said and accelerated her speed, swatting away branches with one hand and pulling Eli’s horse with the other. Behind her, Odus’ footsteps quickened to match her pace.
Then she heard it: the sound of water.
“The Pot
omac,” she said.
They emerged from the woods and into tall, thick grass.
“Stay here,” she said, and left Odus and Amira standing on the edge of the woods.
Her feet sank into the watery ground. The Potomac River came into view. Even at night, it appeared to own the land, cutting through it in one wide swathe. Samantha reckoned it was at least a quarter of a mile across.
“Now what?” she said. No one answered.
A high-pitched whistle pierced the air, and Samantha threw herself to the ground, peering through the grass to see where the sound had come from. A few yards in front was a figure, a man holding a rifle and walking along where the grass met the riverbank. The whistling came again and the man stopped. Shouting came from across the river and a gun was fired. Samantha covered her eyes and tried not to cry.
Next time she looked, the man was gone. As she scrambled back towards the woods, she saw more figures on the riverbank. A man was on the ground, a slave. Two white men with rifles kicked him. She felt for her pistol. Two shots would be needed, but she had no way of knowing how many more men were there nor should she draw attention to herself. She hit the ground with her fist. There was nothing she could do.
“Miss Sammy,” whispered Odus when she was back in the woods. “What do we do?”
“I don’t know.”
Rustling from behind made them all turn. Samantha pulled her pistol and pointed it in the dark. A shadow approached, and Samantha squinted. It was a man, about 50 years old, wearing a wide-brimmed hat and high leather boots covered in marsh mud. His hands were in the air.
“Come any closer and I’ll shoot,” said Samantha.
The man continued his approach.
“I mean it. I’m a good shot.”
The man spoke so quietly Samantha had to strain forward to hear. “We need to move you farther along,” he said.
“What?”
“There’s a bit of river to the west where we’ve got our men patrolling, except our men are Moses’ men.”
Samantha did not understand.
“You’re trying to get north,” said the man.
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