by Ann Jacobs
Now life had to go on without Mae Caden at the family’s heart. Everybody but Deidre had seemed to manage moving on just fine.
On a loveseat by the tree, her brother Bye sat with his bride Karen. Married three months now, they still could barely keep from humping each other in front of God and everybody. She’d heard the two of them played almost every week at that exclusive sex club that Karen’s cousin Buck Oakley owned, halfway between Caden and Lubbock. The Neon Lasso, where domination and submission were the games of choice. Yeah, she’d only read about that kind of thing in erotic romances, but she’d been reading a lot of it lately. She might not know a lot about it, but she was sexually adventurous. Soon as she could do it, she was going to fly over and join that club. She’d run her own way all her life, been stubborn and headstrong as Four himself, but sometimes she imagined what it would be like to find a Dom who would make her want to be obedient, to please him as much as he pleasured her. She wanted to explore the idea. On her own terms, of course.
Maybe she’d find a Dom who would love her as much as Karen seemed to love Bye.
Yesterday Deidre had gritted her teeth and forced a smile as she’d watched Jack marry neighboring rancher Liz Wolfe. She’d managed not to cry when he’d said the vows to Liz that she’d once hoped he’d say to her, but just barely and just by repeating Bye’s assurance that Jack had done her a favor by passing on her even before he’d known they were related. And by reminding herself that crying was for babies. She was a grown woman, no matter that Four and her brother thought differently.
The sweet, innocent Deidre Mom had shaped was no more. She’d had enough of the sorrow and grief she used to think was meant for others, not for the sheltered daughter of Four and Mae Caden.
In nine short months she’d learned the hard way that money and position couldn’t protect a woman against heartbreak. They couldn’t even buy her fleeting happiness. It was too bad that she hadn’t learned that lesson soon enough to keep her from getting torn apart on the day of her mother’s funeral. The two losses, one inevitable but the other one that should have been easily preventable, had rocked her world and nearly torn her apart.
Maybe she wouldn’t have felt so lost if she’d had some purpose other than being Four’s daughter and Bye’s little sister, with a useless college degree that wouldn’t even qualify her to mix drinks at The Corral. Sure, she could rope and brand cattle with the best of them but nobody ever saw her as anything but a decoration, even at roundup. Damn it, she’d been trying to find herself, discover where she belonged in this world.
For the past seven months she’d gone wild, trying to find the love she so desperately wanted with cowboys and roughnecks who had only wanted her for the Caden money, the Caden name. She’d hidden out with a college friend outside San Antonio for a while. While she’d stayed there she’d played house with a handful of college boys only to find they’d been on the prowl for an heiress just as much as the string of ambitious wranglers.
To her shame, she’d also gone to Houston and shacked up with a man as old as Four, thinking at the time that he’d wanted her for herself since he owned a Fortune 500 company, only to discover accidentally that he’d zeroed in on her while still very married to a nice woman almost as sweet as her mom. Deidre had dumped the cheating asshole the minute she’d learned the truth, but for weeks she’d felt as dirty as Marianne Duval, the slut who was Jack’s mother and had been Four’s mistress for more than thirty years.
That had been when she’d figured out that she’d been looking for love in all the wrong places, as that old song went, and decided to come home to stay.
I’m through fucking every man in pants thinking the next one will be the one who loves me, but I’m not going back to being Mom’s sweet little girl either. I think I like the idea of getting my jollies by submitting to hot hunks one at the time, not looking for a relationship or anything but the pleasure of the moment. Of course, if the right man comes along…
Come off it, Deidre. Four and Bye may treat you like a princess. The cowhands may practically jump all over each other to do your bidding, but that’s only because they know Four will boot their asses off the Bar C if they don’t. You’ve learned the hard way that there’s no such thing as Prince Charming.
Deidre liked sex and she wasn’t about to go through life with her pussy aching for fulfillment. She’d treat sex as a game, submit to a hot Dom for a night without wanting or accepting any emotional connection. Experience had taught her what she read in her erotic romances was fantasy. She’d keep on reading, but she’d guard her feelings. No slick operator was going to get a chance at breaking her heart again.
Back here in the house, surrounded by her family, Deidre felt out of place. She figured she probably always would. The big, beautiful house wasn’t home without Mom in it, but when she was out on the range on horseback, the winter wind tugging at her hat and sending shivers clear to her booted toes, she knew the Bar C was where she belonged. As hard as she’d tried to stay away from this place with all its memories, she couldn’t deny she was a part of the rugged, beautiful land.
The sounds of familiar Christmas carols drifted through the house as the family sat down to dinner served on Mom’s favorite holiday dishes by servants Deidre had known all her life. A standing rib roast with all the trimmings—no turkey had ever dared to find its way onto the Bar C’s holiday menu—shared the spotlight with a sideboard weighed down with pecan and pumpkin pies, a coconut cake and a crystal bowl full of her favorite ambrosia.
Deidre was home to stay. Whether it was for better or for worse, she didn’t know.
* * * * *
The first of January brought bitter cold to northwest Texas. Everyone, even Karen who was a rank amateur at ranch chores, chipped in to get all the horses and as many as possible of the cattle in to shelter. For three days, every available hand rode out to break ice in streams and water troughs while Deidre and Bye joined Four and Dave, the Bar C pilot who ran the ranch’s hangar and maintained the planes, taking turns dropping feed to the stock out in the pastures. When the feed situation became critical after five days of near-zero temperatures, Dave had even unretired the old Piper Cub she’d learned to fly in years ago so they could take care of three pastures at once.
For a week, Deidre had no time to become bored. She realized how much she liked being able to help, especially on the second day when she’d managed to rescue a calf from a frozen stream and bring her back to the horse barn by the house. Today, though, the cold front had finally blown off to the east and the sun had come out from behind ominous gray clouds.
She missed being needed. At loose ends once she’d fed and played with the calf, she curried her mom’s favorite mare and even helped Manuel to muck out the stalls.
Deidre missed hanging out with Karen. A conscientious lawyer, though she’d cut back on accepting clients since her marriage, she’d gone to her office in Caden now that the road was clear, so Deidre’s brother was at a loose end too.
“Want to go for a ride, sis?”
When Deidre looked Bye’s way, she saw him watching Manuel tighten the cinch on Vampire’s saddle and admired the big thoroughbred. Bye adored the horse, even though Four insisted he was useless as a cow pony. Deidre was glad her brother had rescued the beautiful animal from a cruel owner because she hated to see any animal be mistreated. “Sure, if we’re going to end up in town. I haven’t been to The Corral since I got back.”
“Are you sure you’re still welcome? If I remember correctly you had your two bodyguards tear up the place the last time you were there.” Bye’s grin told her he was teasing.
“I’ll take my chances. Is there any horse in this barn that can keep up with Vampire?” Deidre eyed a sleek palomino gelding she had ridden a few times before she’d gone away.
“Probably not, but Golden Boy will give you as quick a ride as you’re able to handle. I’ll hold Vampire back so you can keep up.” Bye took the reins from Manuel and swung up into the saddle as the
horse pawed the floor, obviously anxious for a run. “Manuel, please saddle Golden Boy for Miss Deidre.”
Some things never changed, such as Four’s rule that as long as stable boys were around, family members would never saddle their own horses, even though they were expected to work as hard as any cowhand during roundup. Deidre watched the young stockman hurry to get her tack. After adjusting the bridle, Manuel tossed her hand-tooled leather saddle with its silver conchos over the gelding’s gleaming back. When he’d tightened the cinch and adjusted the stirrups, he helped Deidre to mount.
She followed Bye out toward the farm road that led to town, anxious for a brisk gallop.
“Watch out for ice on the road,” Bye called out as she was about to let the palomino have his head.
Why couldn’t Bye trust her to take care of herself? She hated the fact that Four had instilled his compulsion to wrap her in cotton wool not only in Bye but also in the ranch hands. Nobody trusted her to know how to keep herself safe. When Deidre felt like being fair, she figured they might be right. She had to admit she’d done some scary things, such as taking off in a beat-up ranch pickup and running all the way to San Antonio last summer.
In the crisp, cold air, a familiar aroma of exhaust fumes and manure perfumed the road with the essence of home. Deidre spurred the palomino and caught up with Bye, who’d reined in his eager mount at the junction of a private ranch road and the farm road to Caden, the county seat.
“We’re glad you’re home, Funny Face.” Bye held Vampire back so they could trot along side by side.
“Me too,” she said, smiling at the nickname her brother had given her years ago. Being home again felt better every day, but she was still unsure she felt as though she truly belonged. So much had changed since their mom had died.
Soon she spied the courthouse in their path, a white limestone relic of a slower, more peaceful time. Deidre knew every nook and cranny in the small town where she’d gone to school for thirteen years. She hoped she’d still be welcome to eat open-pit barbecue and drink Texas-brewed draft beer at The Corral, after the brawl she’d caused the last time she’d been there. Since Four had paid for the damage, though, she was pretty sure that Mac would welcome her with open arms.
“Everything seems pretty dead today,” Bye commented as they tied their horses to the rail in front of The Corral.
“Yeah.” When she glanced along the street she saw the new red Lexus two-seater Bye had given Karen for Christmas, Doc Baines’ tired-looking SUV and a late-model black Toyota Camry she assumed must belong to some elderly patient, because it was parked in front of Doc’s office across the square from The Corral. Otherwise the street was empty. “It looks as though we may be the only ones at The Corral today.”
“I’ll call Karen to come downstairs and join us in case you think you’ll get bored with my company.” Bye grinned. “I imagine Doc Baines’ new associate will be coming in for lunch. His name is Les Fourchet. Nice guy, about thirty, just finished his training. He’s from Natchitoches, Louisiana—it’s south of Shreveport.”
“A Cajun?” Deidre pictured a swarthy guy who spoke with the lilting accent that had captivated her when she’d visited friends in New Orleans.
“I didn’t ask. But he is single, and he has no attachments as far as I know.”
Deidre’s defense antennae went up. An unattached doctor, young and single, sounded just like the boring sort of man her family members would love her to take up with. As much as she longed to be loved, she wanted excitement, and she’d learned that nice guys tended to finish last in that department.
On the other hand, it might be interesting to consider this guy instead of rebelling just because she thought he might be Bye and Four’s choice. “Is this new guy in town the reason you so readily agreed to come here with me today?” she asked, trying to sound more annoyed than she was.
“No ulterior motives, sis, I promise. Vampire needed exercise and I wanted to come here and enjoy a few minutes with my busy wife.” Bye held the swinging door for Deidre and followed her inside the nearly empty bar and restaurant.
* * * * *
Stomping snow off his boots before going inside the office from the landing strip at the edge of town, Les set down his bag and took off his jacket. Damn it was cold, but at least the snow had stopped and the wind didn’t seem quite as frigid as it had for a week, since Christmas afternoon. His eyes ached from over an hour looking out over the brilliant white landscape from the cockpit of Doc’s Piper Cub, so he sat at his desk and laid his head on his forearms for a moment before switching on a lamp, putting on his reading glasses and continuing the endless chore of familiarizing himself with Doc Baines’ antiquated patient record-keeping.
After an hour he’d had all he could take. He took off his reading glasses and closed his eyes, then massaged his aching temples. Doc had never moved into the world of computers and didn’t intend to do so as long as he was still around and kicking. As soon as the old guy retired Les would have the records computerized—hopefully before his eyeballs popped out of his head from trying to review Doc’s scribbled patient notes, which had been tossed haphazardly into dog-eared manila folders.
Hey, I’ve actually decided to stay here.
Les still complained occasionally about the vast, unchanging scenery and the lack of big-city conveniences, but truth was that Caden was growing on him. He was coming to like the wide-open spaces and the rugged, hardworking people who seemed to appreciate what he tried to do for them far more than the masses of sometimes pathetic humanity who had passed through the doors of the Houston.
Although he hadn’t run across a woman who made him think about wine or roses or forever, he’d found an acceptable sexual outlet at the Neon Lasso, playing with several club subs who seemed as anxious as he to avoid establishing emotional connections. In less than three months, he’d settled comfortably in a small house located within walking distance of the office, where he could hang his hat when he needed privacy.
When his mentor poked his head through Les’ office door he said, “Hey, Doc, I think I’ll break for lunch. Afterward, if you want, I’ll make the rest of the house calls for you.” He couldn’t help noticing how tired the older man looked, or the way he seemed to be growing frailer by the day.
“No thanks, son, you took your turn this morning. Going to see the housebound patients who live within driving distance makes me feel useful.” He frowned, showing how it troubled him to have failed the physical required to renew his pilot’s license just before Christmas. “Besides, most of my older patients would think I’d deserted them if I sent my associate instead of going myself.”
Les sighed as he took off his lab coat and shrugged on a shearling jacket to ward off the chill from the fierce winter wind. Wishing, now that he’d pretty much decided to stick around Caden, that Doc would slow down the way he’d said he wanted to during the pre-hiring interviews, Les headed next door. Seeing two fine pieces of horseflesh tied up in front of The Corral, he couldn’t help grinning. As he’d felt the day he’d arrived here, he could almost believe that he’d just stepped into a piece of the Old West.
Caden certainly was different from the lazy, warm west Louisiana town where he’d grown up. So far, though, he liked the people he’d met and the relaxed atmosphere of a community where everyone pretty much knew and depended on everybody else.
Inside The Corral, he waved a greeting to Bye Caden and Bye’s wife Karen, one of the two lawyers who shared office space above The Corral. Then he saw her—a hot, gorgeous blonde whose shoulder-length hair kissed her rosy cheeks. The woman who was sliding into the booth opposite Karen and Bye more than did justice to her snug jeans. A flannel Western shirt fairly caressed firm, high breasts he’d like to examine up close—for pleasure, not business.
“Hey, Les, come join us,” Bye said, motioning toward the empty seat next to the blonde. He noticed that they’d taken the best spot in the place, in front of a window that provided a view of the town’s main str
eet—its only street worthy of the name.
Les wasted no time sliding into the booth, or breathing in a strangely arousing mix of the blonde’s musky, sweet cologne and saddle soap. He must not be playing at the club often enough, because just her nearness had his cock swelling in his pants.
“What’ll it be, Doc?”
Les looked up at the hovering bartender. “I’ll have a sliced barbecue sandwich, Mac, and coffee.” He told himself the spicy beef on a bun was no less healthy than the crawfish pie and gumbo over white rice that his mom’s cook had often fed him back home.
“Deidre, this is Les Fourchet, Doc Baines’ new associate. Les, meet my sister Deidre.” Bye had one hand on Karen’s knee and the other on the handle of a pitcher he was using to fill an empty mug with foaming draft beer. When the mug was half full, he pushed it toward Les. “Help us finish off this pitcher. We’ll be switching to coffee too.”
“Better not, I’m seeing patients this afternoon. Thanks anyhow.” As he slid the mug back toward Bye, Les was still processing the fact that the blonde was the only daughter of the man who owned the ranch that surrounded the town of Caden on three sides and extended for miles in all directions. “I’m glad to meet you, Deidre. I have a cousin whose name is Deidre too.”
That seemed a strange name for such a vibrant woman. Les remembered his mother saying the name meant sorrow or grief. This Deidre seemed anything but troubled, with her winsome smile—until he noticed a fleeting look of sadness in her beautiful blue eyes.
