"You don't have to be called POW. We can, instead, name something after you. Like, shooting a zombie in the stomach with one of your fire bullets can be called a 'POW Shot.' How's that?"
Hello. Now, we're getting somewhere.
"I've never had something named after me before. That
sounds pretty badass. You know something? I think you and I make a pretty good team."
"Is that right?" she asked. "How so?"
"Well, my awesomeness and your beauty and ability to send my self confidence over the top . . . I feel like we're unstoppable."
"I guess we are pretty awesome together. How are you feeling, anyway? I'm kind of blown away, excuse the pun, that you're up and about. It seems to me like that explosion would have given you a concussion or something."
"Nah. You need a brain to get brain damage. It's just my body that hurts a bit. I'm really just kind of sad I didn't get to see myself get blown up. I bet it looked awesome. Was it awesome? Tell me it was awesome."
"Well, I suppose that, now that I know you're just fine, I can go back and reflect . . . It was pretty damn awesome. You did a backflip off of Shadow, and Shadow's head was blown off and went flying over your shoulder, just barely missing you by a narrow margin. The bags flew away like two cannonballs. The zombie . . . just completely disappeared in a ball of flame. And just to see you stick out your thumb right when it all started. That was pretty damn funny. The look you had on your face . . . I take it that was your first time on a horse?"
"First and last. It was horrible. I think one of my testicles might be missing or destroyed. Would you mind checking it out for me?" I asked with a wink.
"I wouldn't mind taking a peek for you, but honestly, after the first time I saw your penis I don't know if I'd be able to tell if anything was missing."
I laughed a lot harder than was comfortable for my ribs. It was just a small chuckle.
"Ow."
"Sorry, are you okay?"
"The laugh wasn't as bad as the way you said 'penis.' You sounded like a librarian; and not the hot slutty kind of librarian, either, but the old granny kind with curly gray hair that wear their reading bifocals like a necklace and smell like musty Bibles and dust."
"Have I found something that doesn't turn you on? I never thought I'd see the day."
"It's okay though, it doesn't last for very long. Your boobs keep calling my name, begging me to gaze down upon all of their glory."
She punched me in the arm.
"Ow. Fuck." Very macho.
"Sorry. I forgot you were in pain," she said sarcastically. "While they're out hunting, why don't we go and get some rest?"
"I think that's a great idea," I agreed as she pulled me from the couch toward the bedroom.
"There's a catch, though. I'm not sleeping alone in this place, so you're going to have to keep me company. Do you have a problem with that?"
"I think I can make an exception," I said, watching her lie down. I got in the bed and spooned her. I was too tired and in too much pain to try any funny business, but it felt so good to just lie there with her. She smelled good, and her scent intoxicated me. We were both soon fast asleep.
Chapter Seven
The smell of meat. A beautiful girl. What more could a man ask for? This was going to be a beautiful evening. I wondered briefly what time it was. I knew it didn't really matter, though. The enemy never sleeps.
I thought for a second and came to the conclusion that it was time to step up our new relationship one notch. I decided to wake Evelyn up with a kiss on the neck.
Magic rushed into my lips.
She rolled towards me slightly and moaned, "Is it morning already?"
"For all I know, it could be next year. I slept like a corpse," I said, feeling refreshed.
"What?" she asked groggily.
"Never mind. I believe the other happy couple is back. And I think they brought us home some dinner."
Evelyn inhaled deeply to get a good whiff. "Oh yes. That's better than sex."
"I'll have to prove you wrong on that some other time." I gave her one more kiss on the cheek, rolled out of bed, and offered her a hand to help her up.
"Wow, that nap seems to have fully renewed you, Peter."
"I'm not sure if it was the sleep, or the company, or the promise of a full belly, but I feel fantastic."
She let out a small chuckle and a beautiful smile. She was happy.
"I'm glad to hear it. Now what do you say we go see what mom and dad found?" She laughed and cringed at the thought.
"That great idea was just made slightly better by the way you managed to disgust yourself. Let's go, beautiful."
When we came upon the kitchen we saw a beautiful sight.
"Is that.... a turkey?!" I exclaimed.
"Bro, I’ve got even better news. Carolina, here, can really hold her own. She bagged this baby from like fifty-five yards standing. She said she'd be happy to show me how to shoot from horseback if you hadn't murdered Shadow."
Evelyn and Carolina both hung their heads at the mention of the name. I don't know how long they had the horse for, but they were both clearly quite attached to it.
"Well, isn't that wonderful. Thank you both. It sounds like you had fun. And we got enough rest for now. I didn't know how badly I needed it. I should be back at one hundred-ish percent by morning. So really, thank you both."
Carolina looked humbled by my gratitude which seemed to take her mind off the horse.
The expression on Kyle's face told me he knew better. He knew I was just trying to get her off of my ass. Now that I think about it, I can't help but wonder if he brought up Shadow intentionally so that I would try to make up for it (if only to get her to shut her face) so she and I could be on better terms.
"And thank you for letting me take your place. I had such a blast hunting again." She actually smiled at me. I don't think I liked that very much. That reminded me . . .
"So, how did my rifle work out for you? Loved it, didn't you?"
Now that she remembered it wasn't from her own gun safe, she handed it back.
"It got the job done, but I prefer my thirty ought six. This .556 just doesn't kick the same."
What a hillbilly.
"Well . . . It seems to have done the job, like you said. And thanks again." I accepted the rifle, checking to make sure it was on safe.
You don't have to go to that mean lady any more, Jenni, I told my rifle via telepathy.
"Yeah, Mom. It looks and smells amazing," said Evelyn.
"You're welcome, honey. Where were you two? I expected at least one of you to be laid out on the couch when we got back."
"Well, after we saw all of those zombies earlier I didn't want to be alone. And not only that, but it's pretty cold today. Two bodies are warmer than one," she stated factually.
"Don’t worry, nothing happened," I said, trying to reassure Carolina. "I was a perfect gentleman while you were away."
"Yeah. I'm sure if she got on top of you it would have felt like a ton of bricks," Kyle said, clearly doing his best to knock me down a peg.
Backfire; both ladies slugged him, one in each arm.
Like mother, like daughter, I guess.
"I meant because of the explosion, geez. Not her giant rack."
Yeah. That'll make it better.
Slug fest part two.
"Yup. I'm done talking," he concluded.
"I vote we dig in." I threw it out in the open. I was damn hungry.
"I agree," Evelyn chimed in. "But with one addition. I don't know how long it's been since I've had a Thanksgiving, so I say we go around the table and say what everyone is thankful for."
"My little angel," approved Carolina. "Everyone take your seat and I'll go first."
Everyone took their seat. I was between Kyle and Evelyn, across from Carolina.
"Personally, I am so very thankful that you boys decided to come to my aid. And not only that, but to indulge an old woman on her crazy quest is not something that
I had expected. I know I've been hard on you Peter, but you really are a good man. And I truly thank you. For all you're doing for me now and all you've done for our town in the past. That goes for Kyle, too. But we've already had quite the discussion of our lives on our hunting trip, didn’t we?" The two of them exchanged a glance that made me feel uncomfortable. A glance at Evelyn told me she felt the same.
I was blown away for the second time today; this time by her words. I felt soft and sincere. How unusual. I rarely am privy to such thanks.
Carolina turned to Kyle. "Now it's your turn."
"Well, I'm thankful for my homie Pete, too. Without him I doubt I would have stayed in town. Before all of this started, I probably would have gone to fight and been put down by one of them quite a while ago. But, instead I can be here with all of you, enjoying our very own holiday. Not only that, but he's actually making me a better person. I feel like I've always been the heroic type, I've just never been willing to accept it out of fear that if I failed I would let everyone down. Pete helped me get over that, even if it was totally by accident." He slapped me on the back. The pain was minor to the feeling of pride in my heart. How have I helped anyone? Are they trying to kill me with kindness? If so it just might work. I had to fight back a tear.
Nailed it.
"Wow. I feel like I’m at an intervention, again. A bunch of kind people saying nice things about me while I sit here feeling more than a little uncomfortable. I've never really been one for talking and certainly not giving speeches, but I've got to say I'm thankful for a lot of things. I'm thankful for my best friend in the world. Kyle, without you I don't think I would have made it in that town that we call home. For the longest time, you've been the only person I could be around for more than five minutes before wanting to go zombie style and biting someone's face off.
“Evelyn, I haven't even known that you existed on this planet before these past few days, but you've shown me that there are more things out there to live for. Beautiful, strange things. There are people out there worth saving.
“And as for you, Carolina, if it wasn't for your insane mission I probably would have said the wrong thing to your daughter, sending her running for the hills to get away from me. for the hills never to see me again. Not only that, but I've found out an awesome way to make zombies explode. And that shit is just awesome."
Not bad, I thought. Not a dry eye in the house. I rock.
Evelyn sniffled.
"I just love you all so much. I feel like a family and it's nice to sit down to eat with the people you love. It feels normal. So thank you all for that-" she was unable to continue.
I put my hand on her knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. It's okay. We all understand.
"I think it's time to eat," proclaimed Carolina. We all dug in.
***
After dinner and a quick shower—sparing as little drinking water as possible—it was time for bed. Tomorrow would be a long day. Carolina took the master bedroom, and Kyle took the couch. That left the second bedroom as the only other place to sleep, aside from the cold floor.
"I guess it's you and me, kid," I told Evelyn.
"Looks that way," she said as we headed into the bedroom.
"Lucky you, you've got the best seat in the house," I said as we assumed the same position as earlier. "I’m kind of like a human heating pad. I run a little bit warmer than most people."
"I kind of noticed that last night. Lucky me, huh?"
"You want to know something?" I asked her. "I'm not all that tired after that wonderful nap we had earlier today."
"Now that you mention it, I'm not sure if I'll be able to sleep yet, either . . ."
Chapter Eight
It was a new day.
I woke up next to Evelyn. Good start.
I remembered there was leftover turkey for breakfast.
Bonus.
This is going to be a good day, I thought.
"Evelyn, wake up." I put my hand on her hip to shake her gently from her sleep.
She looked over at me and smiled. "Hi."
"Good morning, sunshine. I've got good news. Today we can eat some breakfast!"
"I'm not starving like I was yesterday morning, but I'm down for some more turkey."
We got up and headed toward the kitchen to find Kyle and Carolina already sitting around the table, waiting for us.
"Good morning, kids," Carolina greeted us. That's my line. "I hope you're hungry, 'cause I don't want to have to waste any of this bird."
"I don't think you'll have to worry too much about that," I said, looking towards Kyle. That guy could never get enough to eat, and yet he never gained a pound.
Our little group then proceeded to devour the rest of the turkey.
***
After breakfast, we gathered up everything we had brought with us. After a little bit of searching around the place, I’d discovered a garage and found that it had a car inside. I knew the gas in the tank had gone bad a while ago and there would be no charge left in the battery. I looked around the front seat and found nothing. I checked in the glove box and came up empty handed. There was also nothing useful in the backseat. Nothing. Then, I decided to pop the trunk. When I looked inside, I was able to come up with a crowbar. Sweet, at least I was able to find something that could eventually come in handy.
When I walked out the front door, everyone was ready.
"Let's go. Maybe we'll be able to make it to the town before nightfall," Kyle said. The look on his face said he was ready to get this journey over with.
"The way I see it, we're roughly 15 miles into our trip; even more than that, probably. The camp is 43 miles from our town. That means, we're left with less than 30 miles to go, so we could make it in less than ten hours, including breaks. So, there's no reason to kill ourselves at a breakneck pace. Kyle and I will hold the rifles and each of you can take a pistol. If anyone sees anything that could become a problem, let the rest of us know. We’re a team. The further down this hill we get, the more of them I anticipate will be roaming freely around. Also, there are more threats than the one on everyone's minds. There are mountain lions and bears known to live here, so keep your eyes peeled."
We began our journey deeper into the woods. Kyle and I stayed around fifteen steps in front of the others. After a mile or so, I felt like making some small talk, which I have never been good at.
"Nice having breakfast today, wasn't i-"
"Shut the fuck up, Pete, you know what I want to hear, homie!”
"Yeah man, I just didn't know how to tell you. What you said last night was beau-"
"Bitch! Quit it! How was she last night?" he demanded.
"Well, she hit the turkey, so I imagine she was a good shot, but why the hell are you asking me? You were there hunting with her." It's way too much fun to mess with Kyle. Sometimes I just can't resist the urge.
"Peter . . . We're friends. No, scratch that. We're brothers, man. But if you don't tell me something right now, I will rip your dick off. Then what? Not so funny anymore, huh?"
"Look, dude, we had a nice night together. Can we just leave it at that? I don't want to jinx anything, or more likely, have you scare her away."
"Sorry man, I can't let you leave it at that. You have to give me something more. You know I would if our situations were switched."
"Okay. I'll describe something about her of your choice, but just because I kind of pity you. Take it or you can just go fuck yourself."
"Tits! Go!" he exclaimed a little too loudly.
"Shut the fuck up, dude! They're right behind us. Now we've got to wait a few seconds until they think we're talking about something else," I said, randomly pointing up into a tree.
"What the fuck are you pointing at?"
"Dear Lord, you are really bad at this, Kyle," I said, making further hand gestures in an attempt to throw the girls off our true conversation.
"Just get to it bro, they don't know what's going on up here."
I looked back. They seemed
to be happily involved in a conversation of their own.
"Okay, I give. You’re lucky I feel so bad for your sorry ass. I don’t even remember the last time you got laid," I said, jolly by the thought of breasts once again.
"They are glorious," I said as I brought my hands to my chest and mock squeezed a pair of boobs. I quickly dropped my hands, realizing that the hand gestures were no longer my friends. I looked back for a second to make sure no one noticed that I’d honked my own set of air tits. I think I'm clear.
"Do you remember Sgt. Feltcher?" I asked him.
"That nice? Damn!"
Sgt. Feltcher was a female Tech Sergeant in the Air Force. We’d met when we were deployed together overseas years back. Feltcher was the most attractive woman ever to serve our country, as far as I can tell. One day, Kyle and I were headed to our friend Allison's (I can't remember her last name) room to see if she wanted to go to the gym with us, and as we swung the door open we heard a scream. As it turned out, we were at the wrong room and Sgt Feltcher was in there doing a fully nude cam show on the Internet with a rather large toy. She covered her chest with one hand and her crotch with the other and yelled at us "Get the fuck out of my room!" It was like she didn't want people to see her naked or something. Well, I pulled Kyle back out of the room and managed to shut the door, but Kyle wouldn't give up so easily. He asked me for $20. I gave him $5, and he went back in and asked to be part of the show. She agreed and let him back in. She then knocked him out in front of a live audience.
That chest was, until now, the nicest rack I had ever seen in my life.
"They aren't only that nice, Kyle. They are even better. Remember how Fletcher had those oddly shaped nipples?" I asked.
"I don't think I've ever stopped picturing her jugs, so yeah. I know what you're talking about. They weren't too weird, as I recall."
"These tits are truly flawless, bro. And not only that but, as you can tell, they are quite large. I dare say that they are even bigger than Feltcher’s. They are so nice, in fact, that I have to call them breasts, because any other name would bring them down to a level with every other boob that has ever existed. These breasts make me think there may be a God out there after all, Kyle. They are unquestionably the most amazing breasts ever created."
POW! (Book 1): The Zombie Days Page 5
