"Nothing," I answered. My eyes flicked back towards Karson's office, and I put on a cheery, totally fake smile as I looked up at Dane, crossing my legs and interweaving my fingers in front of me. "And what can I do for you, Mr. Stanton?"
"How about joining me for lunch?"
I ought to say no to him, not let the growing, developing... thing that I sensed between us turn into anything more than a bit of fun, adventuresome, admittedly mind-blowing sex. But the granola bar that I'd snatched from Kelsey was no more than a wrapper and a distant memory, and my stomach gurgled in support of the idea.
"You're paying," I told him, making his smile widen. "And I warn you, I don't have a dainty little fashion model appetite."
"And here I was, hoping I could fill you up with a single lettuce leaf." Dane walked with me to the elevators, took me to another little hole-in-the-wall restaurant, this one serving tacos. Did he know every single restaurant in the area?
I asked him as much, and he nodded with a slightly embarrassed wince. "I tend to wander around the skyways and explore when I get too sick of work," he admitted. "Finding all these amazing little restaurants is just a side benefit of not getting fired."
"So," he continued a minute later, as I sank my teeth into a deliciously overstuffed taco. "You grew up around here, you said?"
"Yes," I replied, feeling my suspicions start to rise up.
"Me too, actually. Not downtown, though, out in the suburbs." Dane pointed vaguely off in the southward direction. "Pretty nice life, although nothing ever really felt special about it. Just another kid in the suburbs, going to school and looking forward to working for forty years, getting married, buying a house, and then retiring to Arizona. Just like everyone else."
"Hah, that sounds exactly like what I'm running away from," I said. "Ending up doing the same things as everyone else."
"I think that's why I started the card tricks, to be honest." From a pocket, Dane produced a deck of cards, fanning it out for me. "Here, pick one."
I raised an eyebrow at him, even as I selected a card. "Really? Magic?"
"I figure after we've slept together a few times, I have to reveal my true self," he grinned back. "Now, look at the card, and then shuffle it back into the deck." He handed it over, and I did as requested. Jack of Hearts – how fitting.
"Speaking of that," I said, but then paused. To be honest, I really wasn't sure what I wanted to say or ask him. "Before we go any further, maybe we should have some ground rules."
He sat back, just looking at me, so I continued. "First off, this isn't going to be a long term thing," I began. "I don't know when I'll want to take off, go head somewhere else, but it's going to happen. Don't think that you'll win me over with love, or anything like that."
"Perish the thought," he answered, although I saw the faintest hint of a smile quirk around his lips as he said this.
I chose to ignore it, instead riffling the cards still in my hands in another shuffle. "Second, don't go telling anyone about my past, or what you think I might be up to," I said, holding up a second finger. "As far as you know, I just started working here, and you flirted with me, and I took pity on you. Got it?"
"Sounds believable," he replied. I couldn't tell if this was sarcasm or not, so I chose to ignore it as well. "And if I agree to all of these rules..."
He left the end of the sentence open, dangling. I took a deep breath, scarcely able to believe what was about to emerge from my lips.
"Then, if you agree, maybe we can keep seeing each other – as a short term deal," I added hastily, not wanting to give him even the slightest wrong idea. "Just for physical reasons, nothing more."
"Sounds like a heck of a deal," Dane said, holding out his hand. I looked at it for a second, not sure what he wanted. "The deck of cards," he added, his eyes flicking to the cards still in my hand.
"Oh, right." I handed them over, now very thoroughly shuffled.
Dane grinned at me, tapping one finger lightly against the top card in the shuffled deck – once, twice, three times. "You know, it's not the best deal I've ever been offered," he said, reaching down to pick that top card up, slowly, from the deck, "but I think that I'll take it. For now, let's just see where things take us."
And then, as I opened my mouth, he lifted that top card up so I could see that it was the Jack of Hearts.
My earlier complaints vanished in a burst of astonishment. "How'd you do it?" I exclaimed, staring at my card in his hands.
"A magician never reveals his secrets," Dane answered, and then winked slyly at me. "But maybe if you'll pick up the next round of tacos..."
Chapter Nineteen
DANE
*
I think that this is, bar none, the strangest relationship that I've ever had. And that includes that time back in fourth grade when Stacey Harmon kept on bringing me frogs, because she thought that all boys loved squishy gross things like frogs, and I was too shy to tell her otherwise.
At work, of course, I need to basically pretend that there's nothing going on between Ruby and me. I'll drop her off in the front of the building each day, drive around to park, and then she's at her desk by the time that I get up to the office. Most days, she barely gives me more than a flick of the eyes as I walk past her desk to my own.
And then, as soon as I get home in the evenings, she seems to turn into an entirely different person, practically clawing my clothes off as we climb the stairs. One time, we made it just into the front door of my apartment, and she dropped right to her knees, taking my pants down along with her! I barely managed to close the door before any of my neighbors caught sight of something X-rated.
Not that I'm objecting to this, of course. Although I think that I probably ought to start buying stock in Gatorade, considering how eager this girl is to dehydrate me out through less-than-professional activity!
And yet, over the last few weeks, it's not all the sexy, naked, very adventurous activities that stand out to me. What I keep thinking about at work, when I let myself gaze off and ignore the spreadsheets in front of me, are the conversations that we have.
Inevitably, we do get to talking. Usually it's sometime after the second bout of sex, when I finally manage to pry my body out of the bed – or off the couch, or the floor, or the dining room table, or wherever we ended up. "No more," I begged last night, holding up my hands to fend off another naked Ruby assault. "A break, please!"
Grinning, she just stepped forward, angling her naked chest to press a couple of very distracting things into my hands. "What's the matter?" she pouted. "Aren't you interested in me any longer?"
"Oh, I am, but I do need a little time to recover!" I groaned. "And besides, aren't you hungry?"
She paused for a second to consider this question, and then shrugged. I tried not to watch how that gesture made certain parts of her bob up and down in a most appealing manner. "I guess I could eat," she allowed, putting on a little smile that told me that she'd eagerly devour any food I placed in front of her. "What are you thinking?"
I took the opportunity to retreat back to the kitchen, snagging my pants off of the floor as I went. Something about cooking while completely naked made me pause, as if concerned that hot oil would end up splattering to very, very inappropriate areas.
After a brief perusal of my kitchen's contents, I decided to whip together some grilled chicken and vegetables, maybe with a sweet and sour soy glaze to go on top. In my pantry, I spotted a tempting bottle of balsamic vinegar, and snagged that as well. That would make a wonderful addition to the sauce.
After a minute of listening to me clatter about, Ruby came in, still unashamedly nude. I did have to admit that I certainly enjoyed that view of her. Some girls got self-conscious about their bodies, but Ruby seemed to revel in how hers could hypnotize me at a moment's glance. "What are you making?" she asked.
"Dinner," I answered, pulling out a pair of cutting boards and knives. "Here, I'll get to work on the chicken, but you can help out with the vegetables."
>
To my surprise, Ruby stared at the knife and cutting board that I placed in front of her as if she'd never touched either tool before. "Um," she stalled. "I'm not so great at the whole cooking thing."
"What, you didn't cook with your mom when you were younger?" I grinned at her, but the smile fell off of my face as I saw her just look down. "What, did I say something wrong?"
"My mom..." Ruby began, and then paused, swallowing hard. "She wasn't really around. If anything, I ended up taking care of her, more than the other way around."
"Oh." Shit, I'd stepped into dangerous territory. "Well, it's not so hard. Just take the knife and make sure that, before each chop downwards, you know where all of your fingers are. Slow and steady, that's the ticket. Like this." I reached over and cut a couple pieces of asparagus down to smaller spears. "Can you handle that?"
"I guess," she said uncertainly, taking the knife uncomfortably from me.
"Trust me, I know you can." I smiled at her. "And that's the great thing about vegetables. You can still eat them, no matter how they're cut."
That comment at least put a small smile on her face, and I busied myself with breaking down the chicken as she chopped vegetables. "So," I said after another couple of minutes, not looking up from the meat in front of me. "Dad wasn't around, I'm guessing?"
I waited, wondering if she'd even answer. It took a minute, but it came out, softly and sadly.
"Not since I was really little," Ruby said. "Just me and my mom. And she wasn't so reliable, so it usually fell on me to handle most of the work, most of the responsibilities."
"That sounds really rough, I'm sorry." It really did. I tried to imagine being forced to think about bills, money, rent, groceries, all of that, back before I'd even made it through high school. It would certainly force a kid to grow up quickly, that much was for sure.
Ruby didn't say anything else, and I didn't press her. One revelation per night, I'd decided. Instead, I got a pan with a little oil hot on the stove, watched the oil until it glistened with heat, and then added in the chicken, listening with a smile on my face as it sizzled. I added some of my sauce, and then quickly put together the rest of it in a small saucepan so that it could reduce and thicken.
"Vegetables time!" I called out after another minute. "Can you bring them around?"
Ruby did so, looking on with interest. "So what's the process for this, then?" she asked.
"Pretty simple, honestly," I answered her. "Cooking is really just about following a set of steps, like building a bookshelf, or mixing a cocktail."
"Well, I'm bad at both of those things," she laughed. "It sure smells good, though!"
She was right on that point, I agreed, as I took a deep breath. I'd thrown some minced garlic into the oil with the cooking chicken, and it smelled wonderfully of soy and garlic and just-perfectly-cooked moist meat. The vegetables all sizzled as I added them in, tossing them with the chicken to pick up some of that fat and flavor and deliciousness.
With the pan already steaming hot, it didn't take long for the vegetables to cook through. "You did a good job," I told Ruby approvingly, noting the small, even cuts. "With everything the same size, it all cooks evenly. That's what a good chef does."
The smile that appeared on her face was a different one, I thought to myself. This wasn't the sultry, seductive smile of a woman trying to get me in bed, just looking for her next orgasm. That was a smile instead of genuine pleasure, of someone basking in a well-deserved compliment.
And the smile only grew when she finally got a bite of hot, steaming chicken and vegetables, topped with the thickened glaze.
"Oh wow, this is amazing," she said through her full mouth. "You could start a restaurant and just sell this, and I'd eat there every day!"
I beamed back at her, touched by the compliment despite myself. "Really, it's nothing," I said, and then added, in a flash of inspiration, "and we can make other stuff! Whatever you want to learn how to cook, we can do it together."
For a moment, I thought that I might have pushed too far, overstepped those rules of the relationship. Only physical stuff, she'd said when we started this. No getting attached.
Unfortunately, I could already feel my growing tether of attachment, binding me to this woman. And no matter what I did, I couldn't break it – or even bring myself to really try to do so.
After dinner, I somehow managed to get Ruby to agree to wash some of the dishes for me, and we ended up settled down on the couch in my living room, watching an old black-and-white movie on television without really paying much attention. Ruby had pulled on a pair of yoga pants and an old workout tee shirt of mine. "Look, I'm a total slob!" she declared, turning in a circle and showing herself off.
"You look hotter like that," I told her honestly. "Seriously, how do you make any article of clothing look so sexy?"
But as we lay together on the couch, gazing slightly sleepily at the television, Ruby suddenly stirred in my arms. "It started for my mom," she said softly.
I frowned, not sure what she was talking about. "What did?"
She grew stiffer. "The scams. I was still in high school, and I couldn't get a job. My mom just spent most of the time sitting around at home, staring at the television, not getting up or doing anything. We weren't bringing in any money. And we had all sorts of bills piling up that we couldn't afford."
"So you started finding other ways to get money," I finished for her, not wanting to say anything that might break this fragile moment of openness.
She nodded, her head bumping softly against my chin. "Just little stuff, and I promised that I would only target people who really deserved it. And I stuck to that, even if it meant that sometimes we'd have to skip meals." She turned and looked up at me, her eyes blazing and defiant. "I still do, okay?"
I felt like she was being forced to defend herself to me, as if she was certain that I'd lash out and accuse her of some wrongdoing. So I just tightened my arms around her, leaned in, kissed her gently. I said nothing, and after a moment, she loosened back up, relaxing once again against me.
"It's okay," I murmured to her, just enjoying the weight and warmth of her in my arms. "I promise that I'll never judge you for it."
She turned, took a deep breath, smiled back at me. "Thank you," she said, and kissed me back, a light little peck on the lips.
And inside of my chest, I felt my heart stir, moving up towards my throat, its beating suddenly loud and acutely present to my awareness. I knew what was happening, and it was definitely not a good thing.
I was growing attached to this flawed, temporary woman. Our relationship wasn't going to last, but I still felt myself growing more and more drawn to her. I knew, at least in my head, that I'd wake up one day to find that she'd just vanished, out of my life, just like that first night. I kept trying to brace myself for it, to tell myself that it wouldn't hurt when it did happen. I'd get past it, would find another girl. One who was actually emotionally available, one who could consider the long term.
But I didn't want another girl. I wanted Ruby, and felt that little pang of longing grow a bit stronger every time that I looked at her. I just had to see a glimpse of her smile, and I felt like a fishhook was set in my guts, tugging me towards her.
Maybe if I could talk to someone about this, it would get a little better. Once or twice, I considered letting on to Marcus that Ruby and I were still seeing each other, that the encounter at that back room poker game hadn't just been a one-time thing. But I couldn't find the right way to bring it up, so I ended up just remaining silent.
And as the days passed, turning into weeks, I kept falling for Ruby, until every little smile, every little gesture, every time she looked at me with admiration in her eyes as I showed off a card trick or cooked for her, made my heart sing.
Only that little voice in the back of my head kept on telling me how dangerous it was, falling for this woman. I knew that, as always, it was right.
But there wasn't a damn thing that I could do to stop mys
elf.
Chapter Twenty
RUBY
*
"It's so awful!" I wailed, fighting the urge to put my head down on the bar. For one thing, it was rather sticky, and I suspected that my hair would end up getting yanked out of my head. For another thing, it would mean that the beer glasses would block my view of Kelsey.
Although right now, given Kelsey's skeptical expression as she regarded me, maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing.
"Hold on, walk me through this again," she said, sighing. "So you've started seeing this Dane guy-"
"Only for physical stuff, not for anything emotional, not long term," I interrupted her to add. "I made that really clear from the beginning."
No way that I could miss seeing her roll her eyes. "Right, because you're afraid of intimacy. Got it."
"Not afraid, necessarily," I countered. "Just..." I paused, searching for the right words. "Just not interested in that right now."
"And what is that, exactly?"
I spread my arms out, grimacing. "You know, settling down. Marriage. Kids. Buying a house, getting old, planning out retirement accounts and taxes and whether we should move into a place that has its own washer and dryer. All of that dull, boring adult stuff."
Glancing over at Kelsey, I saw her gazing dreamily off into space. "Man, I'd love to get a place with my own washer and dryer," she sighed.
I snapped my fingers in front of her. "Focus, bestie. The point is that I really don't want to be in that kind of relationship right now."
"And yet, you're falling for him," Kelsey guessed, seeing right through all the walls that I'd tried to put up. "Hah, it's almost ironic, isn't it? Payback for all those guys that fell for you, only to get scammed out of everything."
"Hey – nothing that they couldn't afford to lose," I snapped. "But look, what do I do? How do I make this go away?"
Fool Me Once: A Bad Girl Romance Page 12
