“Let’s see,” she said. “How about I don’t roast you?”
I put my hands up in mock surrender. “You know how hard life is… Roast away.”
She shoved me. “Lance!”
Laughing, I put my hand on her leg. She swatted it off immediately but her smile didn’t fade.
“What?” I asked. “I figure we’re going to be married, why not get to the fun stuff now?”
Her eyes bulged. “I never said we’re getting married.” She sighed. “Get over yourself.”
She crossed her legs and turned to me, threading her fingers together. “So tell me, what does Gwen think about all of this?”
A pang of uneasiness settled at the pit of my stomach. I hadn’t seen her since I, ahem, set my plan in motion. If I was being honest, I felt a little relieved to put some distance between us. Four years on the road had changed me. I grew, physically and emotionally. I was starting to suspect I’d grown closer to Merlin than I knew when we’d returned to Bullhorn.
My tunnel vision on Gwen blinded me to the fact that she was the same dramatic, attention-seeking girl she was years ago, and that might not fit with me so well anymore.
“Oh, uh, we got in a fight.”
Her gaze moved to the door. “Yeah, she told me.”
Typical.
I felt Merlin’s gaze move to me, searching for information, but I knew better than to offer any. What I’d done was cruel, and though it appeared to have served its purpose, it was nothing to be proud of.
“Let me get something straight,” Merlin said, the volume of her voice startling me. “We’re getting married. As friends. There will be none of, whatever.” She stuck a finger in my face. “Understand?”
I grinned. “You must really want to impress Arthur.”
Her gaze dropped to her hands. “Yeah, well, after Charlotte…” She tucked a braid behind her ear and took a breath before continuing. “Well, before… Arthur was the first to see my worth.”
I threw my hands up. “What? I saw your worth first.”
Her eyelashes fluttered. “That’s a lie. You still don’t see my worth.”
“I just asked you to marry me.”
“I just agreed,” she smiled, “to a friendship marriage.”
I huffed. “You women always think you have so much willpower. You’re fine with being friends until you aren’t. We’ll see how long it lasts.”
“You’re the worst.”
Laughter cut through me, splitting my stomach. “You didn’t deny it.”
She tossed a braid over her shoulder. “That’s because it’s foolish.”
“Prove it,” I said.
She stood. “I’m sure that kind of thing works on the Gwens of the world.” She turned to me, putting a hand on her hip. “But I don’t think you’ve met a woman of my caliber before.”
“You know Gwen’s the queen, right?”
She chuckled. “Queen?” She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
With that, she left my chamber, leaving me to wonder two things: whether I should talk to Arthur or Gwen first and what winning the heart of a woman of her caliber would actually be like.
39
Charlotte
I awoke the next morning feeling lighter. The decision had been made and all that was left was to tell Young and accept the consequences.
Minseo was impulsive, jealous, and sometimes childish, but I loved him for those things. He wore his heart on his sleeve and always tried to do what was best by me. I craved his levity and the fun our imagined future held.
Young was my husband, Morgana’s father, and I wanted to give us a chance, but even as his wife, he was hard to be close to. He rarely shared his feelings and I had to expel a great deal of effort just to know him. Sometimes it felt like shooting arrows in the dark, at an invisible target. He’d give me one-word answers until I hit my mark. Even after all this time together, he had hardly spoken a word about his time in Bullhorn. I wanted someone I could share my life with—someone I was certain wanted to share his life with me.
With Young, I was never certain, and when we were together I still longed for the effortless nature of my relationship with Minseo. Was it so wrong to want something a little easier? Someone I didn’t have to teach how to love me?
Young was loyal, strong, and fair—a born leader and a far better royal that I’d ever been, but Minseo had my heart, and I knew it would stay with him.
As I dressed for the day, I considered when a good time was to tell Young that I’d chosen Minseo. I certainly couldn’t blurt it over breakfast. Both guys had just lost their brother and the funeral was waiting for our return. I sighed as I pinned my hair up, my thoughts moving to Young as he cried in my arms the other night. I didn’t want to hurt him. Maybe it was better to postpone it for a little while.
A knock sounded at my door, startling me. I slipped one last hairpin in my curls before pulling open the door. Young and Minseo stood side by side, Young with his intense, princely stare and Minseo with a charming smile. I bit my bottom lip to keep from laughing and pushed away the daze that smacked me from the sight of them. The Viran princes.
Minseo spoke first. “Ready to meet King Ruban?”
I nodded and, after a painfully quiet breakfast, we headed out into the streets of Faresa. I was surprised to find that there weren’t many people out for such a lovely and temperate morning. And even more strange were the few people who passed us rushed by, all headed toward the castle. As we neared, we saw a large crowd congregated around the small patch of land where we flew in the night before.
My stomach dropped. Garix. I could see his reptilian frame at the center of the crowd. It was impossible. We’d left him at the farm. I’d told him to stay there until we returned. Had he disobeyed? Had he hurt someone? My heart pounded in my chest as I instinctively ran toward him, shoving strangers with both arms to get through. Garix wouldn’t disobey… Unless. I understood a second before I burst through the last line of people.
I gasped as Morgana reached her hands to me. I snatched her into my arms. “Morgana, how did you get here?” I said breathlessly.
“Garix came to get me,” she said, burying her face in my neck. Minseo and Young stepped out of the crowd and rushed over to us. “What happened? How’d she get here?” Young asked.
Minseo rubbed her back. “Are you okay?”
“You left without saying goodbye,” Morgana said, her eyes tearful.
“How did she call Garix?” Young asked as he turned to me. “How far away do you have to be to communicate with Garix?” I shook my head, my mind reeling to put together how Morgana got here. “I never tested it before.”
Minseo clenched his jaw, his gaze moving to Garix. “Why didn’t he listen to you, Charlotte?”
I took a breath. “We think,” I said, my gaze moving to Young, “Morgana can overpower my orders.”
Minseo exhaled loudly. “So she what? Called Garix all the way from Vires and said, ‘Take me to Mommy’? My god, they must’ve flown through the night. She could’ve—”
Young interrupted. “She’s very brave.”
The sound of trumpets rang out, pulling our attention to the castle which was partially blocked from our view by a lofty church on the corner of the block. The crowd chattered with excitement. “It’s the king,” I heard someone say. “He’s come to see the dragon.”
I had more questions than answers. How had Morgana gotten away from Gabriel? How did Garix feel her command from that far? How did she hold on for so long? But the mystery of Morgana would have to wait. The king was approaching and we needed to convince him that we not only had full control over Garix but that, with his support, we could win a war against Camelot.
Young leaned closer. “Let’s not talk about this in front of—”
“We got it,” Minseo said, and a cold glare I didn’t understand passed between them.
Garix, spread your wings, I willed.
Tired, hungry, he said in a slew of oranges and yel
lows at the pit of my stomach.
Soon.
I reeled, trying to keep as much of my panic from my face until I found a royal mask inside me I hadn’t worn since Besmium fell.
The onlookers parted and, sure enough, the king strode fearlessly into the grassy plot. Forgetting my manners completely, I gawked at the king. I wasn’t struck by his power or obvious wealth but by his uncanny resemblance to the tavern bard.
In fact, where was Finn?
“Your Majesty,” Young said, and my attention snapped back. I curtseyed as best as I could with Morgana in my arms. The king scratched at his beard as he examined Garix. Garix was, as far as I knew, the only living dragon in the world, but the king lacked the standard disbelief, excitement, and terror that usually came with seeing Garix for the first time and instead appraised him like a collector.
After only seconds in his presence, I was no longer suspicious that this was the same man from the tavern. The two couldn’t have been more dissimilar in temperament and personality.
King Ruban spoke. “Who does he answer to?” he asked.
Minseo, Young, and I swapped loaded gazes, silently agreeing. “He answers to me, Your Majesty,” I said.
He eyed me. “May I?” he said, reaching his hand out to Garix.
“Yes, of course,” I said, stepping out of his way. The onlooking crowd was silent with anticipation, as if expecting some tragic event to occur, and it rightfully fit the uneasiness of the meeting.
King Ruban put his palm on Garix’s shoulder and closed his eyes as if recalling a fond memory. After several uncomfortable moments of everyone in attendance waiting, he took a deep breath and his eyes opened once more, turning his attention to Minseo. “Let’s head to the castle to discuss our business. The girl can stay with the dragon.”
Minseo and Young looked like they’d been struck, and I choked back a laugh. I shook my head to signal the boys to let the king’s behavior slide. “Yes, Your Majesty,” I said.
We needed Faresa on our side no matter what, but if I was being honest, I had no interest in their meeting, especially with Morgana half asleep in my arms.
40
Merlin
I strode through the moonlight of the courtyard, where Charlotte and I had once trained Garix, the empty stable a continuous reminder of the choice she made to be with her family—her real family. Now it was my turn to think about family. Because of her, my hard-fought respect had crumbled. I lost the faith of Arthur and, along with him, it took Lance to convince the other soldiers to train with me. As if I’d accomplished nothing in my life, I was alone in the world again—except for Lance. I wasn’t sure if he was someone I could trust, but in my darkest hour, he offered an alliance. A marriage. I could feel this part of me soften, the part I never showed to anyone. The part I hid behind threats and magic. I wanted someone to stand by me. Anyone. And if they did, I would earn it. I would die for them. I would— My head split with pain as a vision slammed into view, blocking my sight.
I was looking down at Arthur’s throne room from the view of his window, the room uncommonly quiet and empty with only two figures below. Lance stood in the light of the stain-glass window and Arthur looked down on him. The daylight splayed about the room told me the vision wasn’t happening in the present, but Lance and Arthur looked no older or younger than they were today.
Arthur’s voice filled the room. “Merlin has become a problem. I’m short a dragon and someone must be punished.”
Matter-of-factly, Lance said, “You’re afraid of her.”
“I am the king,” Arthur bellowed. “ I fear nothing.”
But the way he stood a step higher than Lance gave him away.
“Where do your loyalties lie, Jeremy?”
“With you, Your Majesty,” Lance said obediently.
Arthur grinned. “Then you shall kill her.”
I blinked back into the courtyard. “No,” I said, straining back to the vision, but it was gone and I was once again alone in the empty courtyard.
I clenched my hand into a fist. I knew it. I felt my throat tighten and choke of tears threatening to rise. No. I refused to be hurt by these heartless demons. I pushed my body into numbness as I planned my next move. I’d tried to make peace. I’d been a loyal soldier and friend. To Charlotte, to Arthur, and to Lance. They would all pay for making a fool out of me. I wanted nothing more than to watch them burn one by one. I looked up at the moon to be sure I remembered what it looked like the night they turned me into the witch they feared. The moon was just as beautiful as the sun, without hurting the person who looked, yet it was unappreciated and unloved by the day-worshipping masses. It would all stop tonight, and Lance would be the first to die.
With a flick of my wrist and a wave of concentrated air, I thrust myself toward the castle at the pace of a sprint. Even with my focus, I couldn’t keep myself in the air without using a few steps on the ground to regain my momentum. I slid through the hallway, my powerful gusts ripping the tapestries off the walls as I passed. I slowed just as I was about to turn the corner to Lance’s hallway. I took a deep breath, hoping to find a touch of humanity inside, but the last of it had been slain with a single vision, the death of my last hope.
The sound of footsteps put my hair on end. I pushed myself against the wall, listening to the steps around the corner as they drew near. I had every right to walk the castle at night, but I felt the words murderer, witch, and traitor carved into the flesh on my forehead and I didn’t want them to be seen until my deeds were done.
As the person passed, seemingly unaware of my presence on the other side of the wall, I peeked to see who would dare roam the dark halls in the castle with a murderous witch on the loose. My heartbeat skidded to a stop when I saw it was Lance. This was my chance. He was nothing, just flesh, bone, and evil. Everything he’d ever said to me was a lie, a set up to kill me.
If anything, this was self-defense. Yet, as he moved farther away, my body remained frozen behind the wall, until finally I stepped out, stalking my prey through the dark corridors.
He stopped outside a familiar room, the private room of Queen Gwenevere. Typical. This was going to be two for one. I crept toward the door and put my ear to it, waiting for my moment to attack.
“I know you’re still mad about what happened,” Lance said. “But I’m not here to make up. I’m here to end things officially.”
“What are you talking about?” Gwen said, her voice hard and icy.
“I’m going to marry Merlin.”
She gasped. “Wh-what is this? Is this some kind of joke? Are you and Arthur plotting against her or something?”
My palm burned blue and I turned the doorknob.
“It started that way,” Lance said, “but I don’t know… Something’s changed. I care about her.”
I slowly let go of the doorknob. Was this another trick? Did he know I was here?
“Arthur wants her killed,” Gwen said. “They’ll call you a traitor too. You’ll go down with her.”
He sighed. “I already spoke with Arthur. I staked my life on her loyalty. He’s ready to forgive her.”
“Why are you here, Lance?”
“I want you to leave us alone,” Lance said. “You made your choice.”
“You’ll get bored with her too,” she said, her shrill voice piercing through the door.
Lance said, “You don’t get bored with a woman of her caliber.”
My heart swelled and I pulled myself away from the door and down the hallway, ducking around the corner to avoid being seen when Lance left. It had to be a trick, right? Or had Lance really changed his mind some point after my vision?
The words that he used were so tied to our last conversation.
It was several panicked, sweaty minutes before I heard Lance leave Gwen’s room, but he didn’t go in the direction I’d expected, back to his room. Was he headed to my room?
In a panic, I flew down the hall, the long way to my room, in hopes I’d make it there before him. I
peeked around the corner, but I was too late. He was already standing outside my door. He took a deep breath before he knocked, fixing his hair in rushed, nervous swipes.
Aww. I bit my bottom lip, standing up straight and walking around the corner.
“Lance?” I said. “What are you doing here?”
His green eyes widened when he saw me walk into view. “I uh, I need to tell you something. Is this a bad time?”
I pushed open my door and waved him in, curiosity clawing at me.
I crossed my arms defensively. “What is it?”
He sighed and said, “A while back, Arthur asked me to kill you.”
Bold. I stared back, unflinching.
He clenched his jaw. “Oh. You knew. Of course. Why did you agree to marry me then?”
I shrugged. “Curiosity.”
“I’m so sorry. I quickly realized how bad of a mistake it was to agree, and I’ve been trying to fix it.” He walked toward me and I instinctively took a step back.
“I told Arthur I wouldn’t go through with it and that he can trust you.”
I put my hands on my hips.
“I just started to think about what it would actually be like if we did get married, and the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea.”
I nodded. “So I’m just supposed to forget that your entire proposal was a plan to murder me?”
“No, no. By the time I proposed to you, I meant it.”
I looked around my bedroom, hoping to rid myself of the weakness I felt growing inside.
He reached out and touched my arm. “I’m not expecting you to forgive me, but I want you to know that I don’t want you to accept my previous proposal.”
I threw my hands out. “Okay, great.”
He stepped forward, staring into my eyes, an intensity pulsing between us. “I don’t want a friend marriage. I want us to try the real thing.”
I gulped back a wave of nerves that tore through my body.
He leaned in, and I feared he was going to kiss me, but instead he knelt in front of me, reaching for his pocket.
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