And she stopped. Leaning her hands on the edge of the rooftop. Staring below her.
People were running frantically on the sidewalk. Pushing, shoving one another.
Car horns were blaring.
Men in black lined the streets.
The sound of gunfire echoing in her ears.
She closed her eyes.
The wind brushing against her hair.
And a raindrop fell on top of her head.
Her eyes jerked open.
And she stared up at the sky. So black. Clouds rolling through it, allowing her only a glimpse of the stars. Barely being able to see the moon.
“Pretty, isn’t it?”
Elena started. Turning her head. Staring at the figure that stepped out onto the rooftop, a black hoodie covering their head.
“Yes.” She whispered. “It is pretty.” She turned her head, staring down at the chaos below her. “Too pretty, and something that I should be forbidden from seeing.” She whispered. “I’m a murderer. I’ve killed too many people. I’ve taken too many lives. I should do the world a favor. I should just jump now.”
“Oh, but then I wouldn’t have the satisfaction of killing you myself.”
Elena froze.
“Who are you?” she whispered.
“Oh, just someone you used to know.” The figure whispered. Taking another step forward, and pulling the hood down.
Elena gasped, stumbling back a step. Her eyes wide.
“Carmella?” she whispered. Staring at her sister for the first time in eight long years. Not being able to take her eyes off of her. “Wh-What are you doing here?”
“Cleaning up your mess, apparently.” Carmella whispered. Taking another step forward. “You’re a traitor, Elena. You’re going against Abel. You’re killing his men. Our family. You’re ruining everything.”
And she raised her hand. Aiming the gun right at Elena.
Elena stared at her sister.
And a laugh escaped her mouth.
“Do you really think I’m afraid of dying, Carmella?” she asked. She stepped away from the edge. Raising her arms, spreading them wide. “Go ahead, Carmella. Do it! Kill me! You’ll be doing the world a favor. Trust me.”
Carmella laughed. “Trust you? You’re a liar, Elena.”
“I’m not the liar, Carmella.” Elena whispered, taking a step forward. “Abel’s the liar.”
“No. No he’s not. He’s trying to do good in this world. He’s trying to make the world a better place. He’s getting rid of those who are trying to destroy it.”
“Oh, Carmella, look at what he’s done to you.” Elena whispered. “That drug he put inside of you. It’s made you believe that he’s the good guy. I have news for you. He’s not, Carmella. He’s been lying to you for eight long years. He’s using you to take over the world. He’s kept you locked up, fed only bread and water. He’s made you forget, that he’s your father. He’s made you forget that I’m your sister.”
“I don’t have any sisters.” Carmella whispered, and she pulled the trigger.
Elena dove to the ground.
The bullet whizzing past her ear.
And she jumped to her feet. Racing across the rooftop. Wrapping her arms around Carmella. Holding her close.
Carmella screamed, struggling against her grip.
Elena’s eyes tightened around Carmella’s waist. She brought her lips to her ear.
“Abel is the one who’s destroying the world.” She whispered.
“No.”
“You do have sisters.” Elena whispered. “You have nine of them.”
“No.”
“He’s trained you to kill.”
“No.”
“He’s making you kill innocent people.”
“No.”
“You’re helping him take over the world.”
“No.”
“I love you, Carmella.”
“No!”
Carmella screamed. Slamming her elbows back.
Elena gasped. The air knocking out of her. She stumbled backwards, falling to the ground. Staring up at a sister she no longer knew. Her eyes so cold. So black.
“I hate what he’s done to you.” She whispered, tears rolling down her face. “He’s made you into a monster. He’s using you. And when he’s done with you, he’ll kill you.” She rose to her knees. A sob rising up in her throat. “I have always thought of you, Carmella. I have always thought of our sisters. You have always been my top priority. Which is why it pains me to do this.”
And she raised her hand.
Pointing the gun right at her sister.
And pulled the trigger. And again. And again.
The bullets hit Carmella right in the chest.
She gasped, stumbling backwards.
Her foot slid.
And she fell right off the roof into the traffic far below
“No!”
Elena screamed, her eyes snapping open.
Her body jerked up in the bed.
And she wrapped her arms around herself. Rocking back and forth on the bed.
Sweat drenched her body.
Goosebumps rose up on her skin.
And she rubbed her hands up and down her arms. Trying desperately to ease the chill that ran through her body, as she blinked into the darkness of the room.
“Carmella.” She whispered. Tears running down her cheeks.
Carmella, her sister, was dead. And it was all her fault.
A sob rose up in her throat.
She rose to her feet.
Her bare feet seeping into the carpet as she walked across the room. Pulling open the door and stepping into the hallway
The sound of the rain pelting on top of the roof, echoed in her ears.
Lightning flashed through the house.
She took another step forward. Her hand brushing along the wall as she walked and she stopped in front of a doorway.
Kieran’s room.
Her heart thudded.
Her breath hitched.
And she wrapped her hand around the handle. Slowly peering into the room. A smile spreading across her face as she caught sight of him lying in the middle of the bed, sound asleep. Looking almost peaceful.
Not a word she would usually use to describe him, she thought to herself. The man was a mystery to her. He had this kindness. This gentleness to him that she hadn’t experienced in anyone in a very long time. But there was also a streak of danger to him that she caught a glimpse of every once in a while. It intrigued her. The way he fought. The way he moved. The way he protected her. Protected himself. Protected the people of this world. It made her wonder what he’d been through. Where he’d learned to fight? It made her wonder, just why, he had been in that hospital at that point in time.
“I’ve been tracking them.”
The words echoed in her head.
She stumbled backwards.
Her back hitting the wall.
He had a secret, she thought to herself. He had a big secret.
“Of course he has a secret, Elena.” She muttered quietly to herself, turning and continuing down the hallway. “Everyone has secrets. You of all people should know that. Just as you know, some things are better left in the dark.”
She took another step forward.
Her feet hitting the cold, hardwood floor. Sending a chill running through her body.
And she reached a hand forward. Wrapping it around the door handle, and pulling it open.
The cold wind hit her hard in the face.
She gasped, stumbling forward, the door slamming shut behind her and wrapped her hands around the railing of the deck. Lifting her head to stare out into the darkness of the night. Watching as the ocean waves danced in the darkness. Seeming to glow under that black mass. The stars twinkling high above reflecting off of the water.
The rain washed down over her.
Running down her hair. Down the back of her neck, and she started, shivering as it chilled her.
And watched
as a streak of lightning rolled through the sky.
And she sighed, closing her eyes.
Her fingers tightened around the railing. The wood biting into her skin.
The smell of the rain filled her senses.
The sound of the ocean waves filled her ears.
And she thought of Carmella, her sister she had loved with all her heart. And who she had watched plummet to her death.
Her breath hitched.
She remembered all the lives she’d taken. The soldiers working for Abel. The innocent people she’d killed for Abel.
And dread filled her.
She slowly opened her eyes.
Staring below her. At the hard ground far below her, and wondered, for a split section that if she jumped would she be doing the world a favor? Would the world be a better place without her in it?
And she froze. Blinking, as the thought crossed her mind.
Good God, what was wrong with her? She wondered to herself. Blinking, as the rain ran down her face. Tears filling her eyes. As she realized, that a small part of her really did want to jump and that was nothing like her. Nothing like her at all.
She didn’t consider herself suicidal.
She didn’t consider herself weak.
She’d always considered herself a strong person.
Someone who could fight her way thought anything.
Someone who never took the easy way out.
But ever since she’d come out of that trance, she’d come to realize that she was not the same person she used to be. She had taken so many lives. She’d been tortured by those men. Yelled at. Turned into a monster. She had so much blood on her hands. How could she live with herself, knowing all the bad things she’d done the last eight years?
She bowed her head.
Tears and rain streaking down her face.
A sob rose up in her throat.
And behind her, she heard the sound of the door creak open.
“Elena?”
She turned her head, watching as Kieran walked out onto the deck.
“Hi.” She whispered, sending him a forced smile.
“Elena, what are you doing out here?” he stepped forward, putting a jacket around her shoulders. “You’re going to make yourself sick.”
Elena shrugged. “It’s a small price to pay for the view.”
“The view?” Kieran looked at her, lifting a brow. “You came out here in the middle of the night, in the middle of the rain, because you like the view? Come on, Elena, what’s really going on. You can trust me, just please don’t tell me you were thinking about jumping.”
A laugh escaped Elena’s mouth.
“What? What’s so funny?”
“The truth is, the thought did cross my mind.” She whispered, staring at him in the darkness. “I’m not a good person, Kieran.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because, I’ve done terrible things. Horrible things. Things that I will never be able to make right no matter what I do.”
“Elena, you didn’t know what you were doing. Those things you did. They were out of control. You were under the influence of that drug. You can’t blame yourself for something you had no control over.”
“But I pulled the trigger, Kieran!” Elena cried. “I let my father drug me. I let him train me. I let him tell me what to do. And dammitt, I killed my own sister, when I wasn’t even under the drug!” A sob sounded from her mouth. Tears ran down her face, and she quickly turned her head. Not sure why she was so embarrassed to cry in front of him. “I’m a monster, Kieran!”
“No, Elena, you’re not!” Kieran grabbed her by the soldiers. Turning her towards him. “Elena, you didn’t kill your sister. She fell off the roof. You didn’t shoot her with a gun. You didn’t stab her with a knife. She fell. It was an accident. If anyone’s to blame, it’s Abel, Elena. He’s the one responsible for all this madness. Not you.”
“But I could have saved her!” Elena cried, her hand clenching into a fist, and she slammed it down on the railing. “I could have saved her, Kieran, if she would have just given me a chance. If she had listened to me. But she wouldn’t listen! No one will listen to me! No one will believe me when I say that Abel is a monster.” She hiccupped. “I don’t understand this, Kieran. I don’t understand any of it. Would Carmella still be alive if I hadn’t gone after her? If I hadn’t pushed her? If I hadn’t tried so hard to get her to see what’s true? Why am I the only one, out of all of us, to break free of that drug? Why do I have to remember all the people I have killed? Why am I paying for all the horrible things I’ve been forced to do? Why am I seeing myself for who I really am? Why!” She bowed her head. “Kieran, why, am I the only one who is suffering? Is this my punishment? Is this my punishment for all I have done?”
“Elena. Look at me.”
Elena slowly shook her head. She couldn’t.
“Elena. Look at me.”
She heard his voice again.
And she shook her head again.
And she felt his fingers underneath her chin.
And found her staring into Kieran’s bright blue eyes.
“You are not a monster.” He told her. Staring into her eyes. “Do you hear me, Elena? You are not a monster. Nothing that has happened, is your fault. Do you hear me? Everything that has happened is because of your father. He has an evilness inside of him, Elena. An evilness that you and I can never understand.” He stopped. Staring at her a moment. “I know you believe that you’re a bad person, Elena. That you can never right the wrongs you’ve done. But you’re wrong. You know how I know that? Because of all the good you’re doing now. You saved the president today, Elena. You’re trying to take down the organization. You’re trying to take down your father. You’re trying to save this world. That, I think, is redemption all by itself.” He smiled, raising a hand, touching her cheek. “I don’t know why you are the only one to break free from that drug, Elena, what I do know though is that you are the strongest person I have ever met. You’re brave. Braver than anyone I have ever known. You stand there, staring death right in the eye, and you don’t even flinch. I envy that about you. Your will to live. Your will to do what’s right. You’ve lost a lot in life, Elena. But you don’t back away from it. You don’t cringe from it. You move forward, but you have to stop blaming yourself for everything that’s happened, Elena. You have to, or it will destroy you.”
Elena stared at him.
Tears streaking down her face.
“I feel so broken.” She whispered.
Kieran stared at her.
And his fingers wrapped around her shoulders.
“You’re not broken.” He whispered, pulling her towards him.
Elena wrapped her arms around him. Resting her cheek on his shoulder. Tears streaking down her face. Soaking his shirt.
“I hate him!” she cried. “I fucking hate him, Kieran! I hate everything he’s done! Everything that he’s taken away from me! He’s taken away everything! My life. My family. Because of him, I don’t even know who I am anymore.” She hiccupped, burying her head in his shoulder. “There was a time when I knew exactly who I was. I was this little girl who loved life. I loved everything around me. The world was this amazing place. I knew that I wanted to go out and see the world. That I wanted to go out and help people. That I wanted to make my mark on the world. Now, because of him, I don’t even know what it’s like to walk on the sidewalk without looking over my shoulder. I don’t know what it’s like to walk on the beach, feeling the sand between my toes. I don’t remember what it’s like to stand on the shore of the beach. Feeling the waves wash over my feet. Over my ankles. I don’t even remember how to dance, Kieran.” She sobbed. “I’ve barely lived, Kieran. And I don’t know who I am anymore.”
“Yes you do.” Kieran whispered. Pulling back. Staring at her a moment. “You know exactly who you are.” His hand wrapped around hers. “Come on.” He whispered, pulling her forward.
“Kieran!” she cried. “Where are we going
?”
“To remind yourself of who you are.” He told her. Unlatching the gate at the end of the deck and pulling her down the stairs.
“Kieran! Are you crazy?” Elena cried.
“No. I am not crazy.” Kieran told her. Stopping to unlatch the gate at the end of the stairs.
Elena let him pull her forward.
And a few moments later, she felt the feel of the sand underneath her feet.
“Kieran.” She whispered, stopping.
“You remember the feeling now?” he whispered.
A smile spread across her face. “Yes. Yes I do.”
He smiled back. “Come on.”
They raced across the beach, until they reached the edge of the beach and Elena felt the feel of the ocean waves on her ankles.
The ocean.
She shrieked, the first wave freezing cold on her skin.
Then as she stood there, it got warmer.
She raised her head, closing her eyes.
“It’s wonderful.” She whispered, turning her head, and looking over at Kieran. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet.” Kieran told her, pulling her forward, then spinning her in a small circle in the waves of the ocean. “Just dance.”
Elena laughed, as he pulled her close, falling against his chest.
And she lifted her head. Staring up into his face. Totally in awe at him. At the way he moved. At the way he talked. He always knew the right things to say. He always knew when she needed to be held. When she needed him there. He always believed in her, even when she didn’t. How did he do it?
He had saved her so much.
Her life. Her sanity.
She owed him everything.
“I’ve been tracking them.”
Again the words echoed in her ears.
And she stopped.
“Kieran.” She whispered. “How do you know so much about the organization?”
“What do you mean?”
“At the hospital. You said you were tracking them. Why? You removed my tracker. How? And the way you fight. You fight—“
“Like you?”
Elena froze. Staring at him.
“Yes. Like me.” She finally whispered.
Kieran stopped.
His hands dropped away from her.
And he turned. Walking down the shoreline of the beach. Stopping a few feet away from her. Turning to stare at her. His figure glowing underneath the brightness of the moon.
Fearless Page 18
