“Because.” He whispered softly. “I used to be just like you.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“I used to be just like you.”
The words echoed in her head.
Elena froze.
Stumbling back a step. Her mind whirling with thoughts.
What did he mean he used to be just like her?
“Kieran…” her voice trailed off. She felt her feet moving. The water splashing over her feet, and she stopped. Lifting her head. Staring at him, staring at him from where he stood just feet away from her. “Wh-What are you talking about?” she whispered.
“I was trained just like you were, Elena.” Kieran whispered, ducking his head, and pointing to the scar on the back of his neck. “I had a tracker, just like you.” He whispered. “I was trained to kill, just like you. I did unspeakable things, that I would have never expected myself capable of doing in a million years. Just like you.”
“But how? The organization didn’t start up until…” Elena stopped, staring at him. “Dominic.” She suddenly whispered.
Kieran turned, his eyes boring into her, and slowly he nodded.
“No.” she whispered.
But Kieran didn’t hear her. He was lost in his own thoughts. Stuck in the past.
“I was just a little boy.” He whispered. His voice so quiet, that Elena could barely hear him. “I was ten years old, and it was just me and my father. My mother had been killed in a car accident when I’d just been a baby, and well my father. He wasn’t much of a father.” Kieran laughed a little. “The man had a problem. A big problem. He was addicted to gambling.” He shook his head. “It was bad.” He whispered. “So bad, that we lost our house. We lost our car. We lost our clothes. Our personal belongings, and soon the only home we had was the streets, and the only clothes we had were the clothes on our backs.” Kieran stopped. Staring off into the distance. “Living like that, it was horrible.” He whispered. “Sleeping on the hard ground. Hearing the rats around you. Keeping one eye open, so you wouldn’t end up dead. Eating out of the garbage. It was horrible. It was disgusting. And then one day, a man approached my father.” Kieran’s voice changed. It got cold. Angry. “His name was Dominic. I’d seen him watching us for weeks. Standing across the street. A baseball cap on his head, just staring at us. And he presented my father with an offer he couldn’t refuse. If he gave up his son, he would give him everything he needed. He would give him a house. He would pay for his rehab. He would give my father anything he wanted. Endless money. Endless food. He just had to give up his son. And my father accepted.”
Pain radiated from Kieran’s voice.
Elena’s heart clenched, and she reached a hand forward, grasping his hand.
He tightened his hand around hers. His fingers linking with hers.
“I was furious.” Kieran whispered. “My own father had chosen money over his own flesh and blood. It was something I would never understand.” He shook his head. “I barely remember that day. I know I screamed. I know I cried. I know I tried to run. I know I tried to reason with my father. I wrapped my arms around his legs, not wanting to let go, but Dominic, he knew that I was his now. And he grabbed me by the arms, throwing my body over his shoulder, and walking away from my father who didn’t even shed a tear.” Kieran’s voice turned husky. “And soon, I found myself in this house on the coast of California. It was huge!” he whispered. “There were dozens of glass windows. There was a huge courtyard, with a fence surrounding it. And there were dozens of other kids just like me. They were fighting each other. Shooting off weapons. Running from one side of the fence to the other. They were being trained. Trained for what we all thought was helping our country. But in the end, it turned out, that we weren’t helping the world. We were helping destroy it. Dominic had lied to us. He’d taken advantage of us. Made us believe in him.” Kieran stopped again. “It wasn’t until I was sixteen years old. Holding a knife to a young woman’s throat, that I realized what Dominic had turned me into. Luis was there with me. He was just like me. Another scared kid, wanting so desperately to believe that Dominic loved us. But he wasn’t capable of love, and we did the only thing we could do. We ran.” Kieran’s hand tightened around hers.
“We ran for I don’t know how long. Hiding on the corners of the streets. Fighting off soldiers that tried to bring us back to the organization. And we took turns taking out our trackers. God that was scary, cutting into the back of our necks.” Kieran shuddered. “It was a good thing Luis’s father had been surgeon.” He laughed. “And we went looking for help. We found it in Victor Alejandro.” Kieran smiled wryly. “We must have been quite the sight for sore eyes. We could barely keep our eyes open. We had bruises lining our faces, and we were scared to death. I never expected anyone to believe what we had gone through. I never expected anyone to even help us, but Victor did. He believed every word we said, and brought us to the FBI headquarters where once again we told our story. As it turned out, Dominic had been at the top of the FBI’s most wanted list. So they put together a team and raided the organization. We watched, as Dominic was escorted out of the facility in handcuffs. We watched as the recruits were handcuffed, and the organization was shut down. Or at least we thought it was.”
Kieran pulled his hand away from Elena. And turned, walking down the shore line. “After that day, Luis and I finally had a chance at a normal life. Or at least as normal of a life as we could.” Kieran chuckled a little. “After all we’d gone through, the FBI ended up offering us jobs. If we could complete the training. And of course we did, but that day. What happened to us. It stayed with us. We had a hard time trusting people, and for a long time it was just me and Luis against the world. But I tell you, I never once thought that I would be dragged back into this world.” He blew out a breath. “I’ve been in the FBI for a long time, Elena. I’ve seen a lot. I’ve had access to a lot. And the one thing I made sure I did, was keep tabs on Dominic. He’d destroyed my life. I felt as if it were my duty to make sure he didn’t get another chance his, but all my times of checking on Dominic, I only saw Abel visit him once. He seemed like a decent guy. He had a family. A job. He had a good life. I had no reason to suspect him, until the day Victor went missing.” He turned towards her. Lifting his head. Staring at Elena. “The man saved me, Elena. And even though he was retired, he could never quiet put behind him what he’d done his whole life. So he still had an office in the bureau. He still had contacts. And when he still hadn’t returned, I took it upon myself to go in his office, and what I saw, you could have knocked me over with a straw.” Kieran shook his head. “The place was a shrine. Pictures of Dominic were all over the wall. Pictures of the recruits he’d trained. My picture. Luis’s picture. And then I saw a picture of Abel. There were question marks surrounding his name. Notes that Abel had quit his job. That his house had been burnt to the ground. It was all there on the wall. And then I saw the pictures of his daughters. There were pictures of all the victims. Of the facility. There were arrows pointing everywhere, and in the middle of it were two words that scared me to death. Organization resurrected? And dread filled me. And deep down inside of me, I knew something was wrong. I knew something was very wrong. And my instincts are never wrong. So I took some vacation time. I flew out to where the organization had once been, half expecting it to be up and running again. Except it wasn’t. It was quiet. Real quiet. And then, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. A soldier. He was getting in a car on the other side of the road, and I followed him. I followed him to the hospital, and that’s when I met you.”
“I can’t believe this.” Elena whispered, shaking her head. “You were part of the organization. And you knew this whole time. Ever since you met me. But you didn’t tell me. You and Luis. You told me you guys were in the army.” Elena backed away from him. Slowly. “Kieran, you lied to me!
“I know.” Kieran whispered. “And I am so sorry about that Elena. But I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“It’s a pretty easy thing t
o tell someone, Kieran.” Elena whispered. “Especially when I told you a similar story.”
“What? What am I supposed to say? Oh hey, I’m sorry about the death of your sister. I’m sorry about the loss of your family. About the loss of your life, but you’re not alone I was trained by them too?”
Elena blinked. “Well—“
“Not so easy now, is it?” Kieran whispered.
Elena bit her lip.
“You see, Elena, I know exactly what you’re going through.” Kieran told her, walking towards her. Stopping in front of her. “I’ve gone through it too.” He lifted his hand, grasping her fingers between hers. “I’ve lost a lot. I’ve been through hell. But like you I’ve survived. I managed to escape. I managed to make something of myself and I swear I will help you take them down. I hate them as much as you do.”
“I know.” Elena whispered. “I know that now.”
Kieran stared down at her.
“We’re more alike than we ever realized.” He said, a moment before he dipped his head and captured her lips with his.
Elena gasped.
Her hands reached up, her fingers wrapping around his muscular arms.
Kieran’s hand reached up, cupping the back of her neck.
Elena sighed. The warmth of his kiss touching something deep inside of her.
Kieran pushed her closer to him.
And she stopped, lifting a hand to his chest.
“Kieran.” She whispered, breaking free of the kiss. “Kieran, I’ve never done anything like this.”
“I know.”
“It scares me.”
“I know.”
“But it feels right at the same time.”
“I know.”
“Will you stop saying I know!” Elena snapped, glaring at him. “Dammitt, Kieran, I’m being serious here! We can get into a lot of trouble for this. If he finds out—“
“Shh.” Kieran shushed her, putting a finger to her lips. “We’re not doing anything wrong.”
“He wants to kill me, Kieran.” Elena whispered, lifting her hand and capturing his finger in her hand. “He’s going to do anything he can to destroy me because he knows that I’m out to destroy him. He’ll take anything close to me, Kieran, and if he knows that I care about you—“
“He won’t.” Kieran pulled her forward, dipping his head once again, kissing her deeply.
Elena’s head swam.
She lost focus.
“He’s going to kill me.” She whispered against his lips.
“Over my dead body.” Kieran muttered back.
“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.” Elena whispered, lifting her head. “I don’t want you to die because of me, Kieran.”
“I won’t.” Kieran told her. “And neither are you. We’re both strong, Elena. But we’re stronger together.” He kissed her again.
Elena sighed again.
“That’s nice.” She whispered. “Are you okay taking things slow?”
“Anything you want.” He whispered, pulling his lips from hers, and resting his forehead against hers. He raised a finger, tracing the skin underneath her eyes. “You haven’t been sleeping well.”
Elena grimaced a little. Raising her hand. Her fingers wrapping around his wrist and pulling his arm away from her face.
“It’s only been a couple days, Kieran.” She whispered. “It’s going to take some time.”
“I know.” Kieran whispered, staring down at her. Turning his arm around in her hand. Reaching down to link his fingers with hers. “Come on.” He pulled her back towards the house. The rain washing down over them. “Let’s get you inside. Get you into some dry clothes, and you can lay next to me in bed tonight. My arms wrapped around you, as you to sleep.”
“You’re okay with that?” Elena whispered. Stopping, raising a brow at him. “You don’t want anything more?”
“I’m not a monster Elena.” Kieran whispered. Pulling her forward again. “All I want is for you to feel safe.”
Elena let him lead her back to the house.
Stopping as he opened the door for her.
And turned her head, staring up at him. A smile spreading across her face. “I already do.” She whispered, as she stepped into the house. “I already do.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
He was watching her.
She knew it, even before she opened her eyes.
A groan escaped her mouth.
A hand touched her arm.
And she slowly opened her eyes. Turning her head. Staring up at Kieran, as he stared at her. His finger tracing up and down her arm. And she smiled. Watching as he smiled down at her. Suddenly feeling like the most important person in the world to him. That feeling. It wasn’t one she would trade for anything in the world.
“Hi.” She whispered, watching as a lock of brown hair fell over his forehead. A small giggle escaping her mouth.
“Well, good morning, sleepy head.” Kieran whispered. Leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her lips. “I trust you slept well?”
Elena felt her head swim.
Warmth filled her.
And she felt a sigh escape her lips.
“I did.” She whispered against his lips. “I slept better than I have in years.” She stopped. Pulling her lips away. “What are you doing awake?” she whispered.
“Watching you sleep.” He whispered.
Elena froze.
He’d been watching her sleep.
She felt heat creep up in her cheeks.
And a small cry escaped her lips.
And she covered her face with her hands.
“Hey!” Kieran grabbed her hand, linking his fingers with hers. “What’s that about?”
“You’re watching me sleep.” Elena muttered. “It’s creepy.”
Kieran laughed. “It’s not creepy. And I like watching you sleep. You’re cute when you sleep.”
“No one’s cute when they sleep.” Elena muttered, throwing the covers off of her, and rising to her feet. She crossed the room, and stopped just in front of the mirror holding a hand up to her face.
She had never considered herself a pretty girl, she thought to herself, as she stared at her reflection. Blinking at the woman who stood in front of her barely even recognizing her. Her mother had been a gorgeous woman. Long, blonde hair. Gorgeous green eyes. A smile that could warm up an entire room.
But she.
She was just plain.
Her black hair was long, and straight.
Her face was always pale.
Her nose was too big.
And her eyes always seemed to look a dull blue.
She blinked, staring into the mirror. At her face that was deathly pale. At her eyes that looked still half asleep. Staring at her hair. Her long, black hair that was tangled and sat in a mess on top of her head.
And she blinked at her reflection.
Realizing that she had no makeup on.
She hadn’t worn any for the last several days. Not since she’d left the organization.
Her father would hate it, she thought to herself, a small smile crossing her lips. Remembering how her father had once told her that a woman should always wear makeup. It was their mask. It made them who they are. And it was in the beauty of the makeup that made your targets even easier to kill.
She closed her eyes.
“Elena, a woman is a powerful force in this world.” Abel’s voice echoed in her ears. “She is smart. She is powerful. She is fast. And she can use anyone or anything to her advantage. And she is one of the most beautiful creatures in this world. But only if she wears her mask. Only if she knows how to apply makeup efficiently. It’s important, Elena, because a woman who refuses to wear makeup is by far the ugliest creature on the face of this earth and is not allowed in my presence. This makes you who you are, Elena, and without it. Well, you are just plain. And you are nothing. Nothing but a just waste of space. It’s time to take your place in the world Elena. It’s time for you to show me that you really be
long here.”
His words echoed in her ears.
And her eyes snapped open.
She stared at herself. Suddenly disagreeing with him. Her father was a stupid man, she thought to herself. Makeup didn’t make you who you were. If anything, it hid you really were. And without it, she realized that she suddenly felt free.
Behind her, she felt arms wrap around her waist. Staring in the mirror as Kieran appeared behind her. Resting his chin on top of her head.
“Well I think you’re cute.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple.
Elena smiled.
What was it about this man that made her think she was better than she actually was? She wondered to herself.
Before last night she had never been kissed by a man.
She had never slept in a man’s arms.
She’d dreamed of it.
She’d thought about it.
But those had just been dreams.
They had been wishful thinking.
And one thing she’d learned from her father, was that there was no such things as happy endings. There was no such thing as happily ever after. Except, Kieran, made her feel as if it was possible to live happily ever after.
She turned in Kieran’s arms, laying her head against his shoulder.
She breathed in the scent of him.
All male.
Feeling his muscles rippling in his arms, his strength seeming to pour into her. Surrounding her.
Last night had been one of the most amazing nights she had had in a long time.
They’d been soaked, she thought to herself with a smile, remembering how they’d run up the sandy hill towards the house. The rain pouring down on them.
She’d left Kieran to change clothes, and when she’d walked back into the living room there had been a fire going and he’d laid a blanket on the floor in front of it.
They’d sat there, cuddled in front of the fire for hours just talking.
And she still couldn’t quite wrap her head around the fact that Kieran too had been trained by the organization.
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