by Ashley Jade
“Until I hear you beg harder the only thing you'll be fucking tonight is my face.”
I grunt and dig my nails into the pillar behind me...then hold on when he sucks the fabric into his mouth, trying to absorb every morsel of me and his expression turns ravenous and greedy.
I can see his own control start to crumble and that's what finally does me in, that's what pushes my own desire to dangerous limits—his insatiable need for me that matches mine for him.
“Please,” I beg, my voice straining. “I want you, Ricardo. I can't wait any longer. I need you inside me...now.”
He stands up and I shiver when he leans in close, so close I can almost taste myself on his lips. “Then take off your fucking panties,” he rasps, right before he makes me a victim to another one of his electrifying kisses that ends with him tearing them off for me.
He lifts me up and I push his suit jacket off his shoulders, needing less clothes between us.
“Wrap you legs around me and hold on tight.”
I smile and do what he says but frown when he picks up his jacket and drapes it over me right before he starts walking us out of the basement.
“What—”
“I'm not fucking you with a dead body as our audience. Even I have standards.” He marches us up the stairs and gives me a wolfish grin. “But feel free to keep begging for my cock on the way to my bedroom.”
Any comeback I had dies when he kisses my neck and up along my jaw until he slants his mouth over mine in a kiss that sizzles so much, I dissolve in his arms.
He bolts past the random men stationed throughout the house and keeps sprinting until we reach his bedroom where he tears his jacket off and pins me against the door.
“Please—”
I'm cut off when his knuckle brushes my clit and he dips a finger inside me.
“That's nice but I want your cock.” I scrape my teeth against his shoulder to try and alleviate some of the ache between my legs.
“Then beg harder for it,” he says gruffly as his finger curls and I slam my head back against the wall.
“Please, Ricardo. I'm begging you, God—” Another finger enters me and I yell, “Oh, fuck—”
The end of my sentence fizzles when the first stirrings of my orgasm slam into me.
Blood plunges through my veins when I hear the sound of his zipper lowering and my eyes lock with his. “Please, Ricardo. Make me come.”
Those dark eyes turn downright smoldering, there's so much passion swimming in them it only immerses me further. Instantly my craving grows to a full blown infatuation of frightening levels and I swear, I will die if he's not inside me soon.
“I need you to make me come with your co—”
Ripples of pleasure whip through me when he circles my clit and then those ripples are turning into full on waves when he finally enters me in one swift motion.
I clamp and squeeze around him, pulling and milking his dick like it's my only salvation as the intensity of my climax peaks.
I look up at him and wait for him to start fucking me senseless. But Ricardo doesn't move, he doesn't start thrusting.
Instead, he watches me intently with the sexiest and cockiest look I've ever seen plastered on his face as I proceed to come all over his cock.
I clench around him one more time and that's when I see him let go.
He leans over and braces his arm on the wall beside my head. A muscle in his jaw works and I feel his entire body tense as he squeezes his eyes shut and groans my name.
I was wrong before, this is the sexiest look I've ever seen. Him falling apart for me, losing control because of me.
He bites his lip and curses under his breath when he slips out of me and we both feel the remnants of my orgasm spill out onto him.
My cheeks flame and he gives me a sly smile as he pushes off me and sits down on the end of the bed.
I stand and watch him, but he crooks a finger at me and says, “Get over here.”
There's a darkness in his eyes now, a predatory look that wasn't quite there before and the energy between us shifts again.
I saunter over but not before letting my eyes roam over his chest and those delectable abs of his that I want to lick and suck. His body's just as solid and muscular as it's ever been. Maybe even more now.
When I reach him, his hand grazes the side of my neck and he pulls me closer. I'm about to climb on top of him but he halts me. “Not so fast.”
I narrow my eyes, the games were fun at first, but now it's downright torturous. “Why not?”
My mouth waters when he holds the base of his glistening erection that's still slick with our come and says, “You have to clean up your mess first.” When I give him a look he adds, “With your mouth.”
I'm on my knees faster than my next breath, his dirty words only fueling me to do very dirty things to him.
I take a moment to appreciate his cock, because it really is a beautiful entity all on its own. He's so thick and hard for me. The piercing on his engorged head and the veins and ridges running up and down his long shaft are begging for my mouth to be wrapped tightly around it, and I have every intention of complying.
I open my mouth and he brings his erection closer to me. He purposely teases me by sticking only the tip inside my mouth, giving me just the faintest taste of both myself and him.
I decide to tease him back and the next time he does it, I suck on the swollen head of his dick until he grabs my hair and winds it around his fist.
“More, Lou-Lou,” he rasps and I open my mouth wider before I stretch my lips over his shaft and take him deep just like he wants.
Both his hands tighten in my hair and I inch further down until I'm gagging on him and he grunts, “Fuck.”
His body shudders and a fresh wave of arousal hits me when one hand cups my cheek and he starts fucking my mouth, unable to control himself.
“Jesus—” He growls when I add more suction and gag on him once more. “If you don't stop doing that, I'm gonna come down your throat in two fucking seconds, Lou-Lou.”
His nostrils flare when I continue and stroke my tongue along his swollen head before taking him deep again. I know he's about to come by the way he's pulsing in my mouth, growing thicker for me.
When I add even more suction, his eyes squeeze shut and his hips start bucking into my face.
I watch in awe and satisfaction as he goes over the edge and fills my throat with his release.
I swallow every last drop, and then I slowly lick him from base to head and release him with a pop. “I think I got everything,” I say with a smirk of my own.
I almost yelp when he reaches down, lifts me up, and throws me on the bed.
The room spirals when he spreads my legs and dives face first between my thighs, showing me no mercy. Giving it back to me as good as I gave him, only better.
He's ravenous, licking and sucking on my clit and lips like it's his last meal. Curling and pumping his long fingers inside me like I'm an instrument that only he knows how to play—and fucking me with deep strokes of his tongue until I'm so far gone, I don't care if I ever come back because I honestly don't ever want to.
This cloud of euphoria around us is so dense, so viscous that I will gladly stay drunk on him, his body, and his love for the rest of my life.
“Need you inside me,” I pant out as my orgasm rips through me. “Don't tease me anymore tonight and don't make me beg again. I can't handle it, I need it too much.”
He kisses me deeply and I mewl when I feel him start to enter me, inch by gratifying inch.
I savor the long, slow thrusts he gives me at first, prepping me for the more extreme ones that I know he's holding back from me.
His eyes lock with mine and he cradles my face in his hands and stares at me. He looks at me like I'm the most precious thing he's ever seen, like he's trying to memorize every feature on my face because he's scared he'll either forget or he'll never see me again.
“I love you,” he whispers and the organ i
n my chest springs back to life.
It's such a simple statement, many people say the same exact thing to one another every day.
But when Ricardo says it...he doesn't just say it. He means it...he means it with every single part of him. When he says it, I feel it in my soul.
I interlock my fingers with his and I don't know why but I can't help but start to tear up. There are so many emotions between us it's impossible not to feel all of them whenever I look at him. “I love you, too,” I choke out and he wipes my tears away. “I missed you,” I tell him again, because I need him to know how much it hurt me to be away.
“I know, baby.” He kisses my forehead and studies my face again. “I missed you every second of every day while you were gone.”
“I know you took your place because of me,” I blurt. “I was so mad at you for letting me go, but I think...I think I understand now.”
His eyes turn soft. “I'd do anything for you, Lou-Lou.”
I open my mouth to tell him I know, but he thrusts and a sigh leaves my lips instead.
“I need you to know that I'd do anything to keep you safe,” he continues. “I'd do anything to make sure you have the life you deserve. I'm an asshole, a horrible human being...but I'd burn the world to the fucking ground and take everyone out of it before I'd ever let anyone hurt you again. Tell me you know that.”
“I do.” He picks up his pace and I scratch my nails down his back. “I know you would, Ricardo and I'd do the same for you.”
I grab his face and force him to look at me. “I'm not going anywhere, ever again. Even when we fight...I'll find my way back to you. I won't give up on us. I want this, Ricardo. I want us. I don't want to be free from you, I want you to keep me forever.”
His face contorts into an expression I don't understand before he buries his face in my neck and thrusts into me so hard my eyes roll in the back of my head.
He lifts my leg and angles himself so he's deeper inside me, so deep I feel him everywhere.
And then he fucks me. Just like I begged him to. He fucks me like I know he's always wanted to but was too scared to.
He fucks me like he can fuck the demons out of us both.
I curl up beside him and his stubble grazes my shoulder as he pulls me close and wraps his arms around me.
I lean into his embrace and feel myself drift off, my body yearning for the kind of sleep that being next to him can only provide.
“I love you,” he murmurs again and I tilt my head and look at him.
Before I can say it to him, he rolls me on my back and props himself on his elbows so he's hovering right above me.
“Another round?” I tease, but he shakes his head.
“No.”
He gently nudges my thighs open for him and slips inside me.
I'm thoroughly confused until he whispers. “I need—” He pauses, unable to finish his sentence, looking more vulnerable than I've ever seen him before.
But he doesn't need to, because I need him just as much. I pull him close and trace gentle circles up and down his spine as I feel his body relax into me.
Moments later we both fall into a peaceful slumber, just like we used to.
I dream of dandelions again and this time I smile.
Sometimes wishes do come true. Sometimes two broken people do find each other and become whole again.
Or sometimes, you forget the things that broke you apart in the first place...because you're so tied up in the magic of the moment and nothing else matters.
You forget about the monsters in the dark that never go away.
You forget why the devil was an angel first.
You forget that there are just some things you can never forgive.
I arch against his warm body and breathe him in. I fight the urge to pinch myself, because he's here in my arms and last night wasn't a dream after all.
I lift my hand and rub his sexy stubble that I love so much before I trace the beautiful lines of his striking face.
His lips curve into a slow grin that wake up the butterflies and he lowers himself until his head is resting on my chest, his muscular arms caging me in. “Don't stop touching me,” his sleepy voice rasps, nestling against me. “Don't ever stop touching me.”
My heart feels like it could burst because I'm all too aware of how important that statement is. The list of people who are allowed to touch him is practically non-existent.
I take full advantage, running my fingers through his hair, his neck, and up and down his arms. I map out the chords of the muscles in his back with my fingers and trace the letters in the large tattoo inscribed across his back, the one that somehow makes even more sense to me.
His breathing turns heavy and he snuggles against my chest as he slips into another peaceful slumber, his entire body at peace in my embrace.
I take the opportunity to gently run my fingers over his left bicep, remembering the demonic devil that's situated there. I suppress a shudder because it's still just as disturbing and frightening as ever, despite the immaculate artistry of it.
The irony of him having both a devil and an angel on each arm isn't lost on me now.
I kiss the top of his head and switch my focus to his other arm. The delicate tips of the angel's wings are so pretty and soft. I peer down, trying to get a better look at the magnificent angel and...
My. Heart. Stops.
I close my eyes, convinced my mind is playing tricks on me.
That can't be there...why would he have that there?
When I open my eyes again, they're burning and hazy with tears.
I grip his arm and my eyes focus like lasers on the scripture again.
I shake my head, praying one more time, hoping it's not true.
But there it is.
Right there, in gorgeous script that reaches the angel's wings—my baby's name is scrawled in black ink—held safely in the angel's hands.
Thumper.
My Baby.
My baby that I'll never get to hold in my arms like that sweet angel does.
Because my baby is dead...because I chose him.
It's a reminder that simmers just under the surface and never goes away.
Ricardo doesn't get to wear my baby's name on his arm like a badge of honor, though. Because he's the reason my baby isn't here in the first place.
I squeeze his arm then scratch my nails into his tattoo, desperately trying to dig my baby out of his skin because it doesn't belong there.
Ricardo wakes with a jolt and the sound of my hand smacking him across the cheek echos in the air around us. “How dare you.”
He looks down at the blood now dripping from his tattoo and his expression contorts and twists into agony, but I don't care.
“Thum—” I have to stop myself. I haven't said my baby's name out loud in months and I'm afraid if I do...I'll lose it completely. I will lose whatever tiny thread my sanity is barely hanging onto.
This scar from losing my baby will never heal...because I will always want my baby. I will always want to be Thumper's mother and I will forever mourn the loss of never getting that chance.
Thumper was everything to me...and I failed to protect him the way I should have.
It's the ultimate burden that I bare—the one I'll never be able to carry. Because my baby's gone.
“Lou-Lou.” His voice is straining with emotion, begging me to hear the words he's about to say next, but there are no words that he can say. There are no words that can undo everything. There are no words that will bring Thumper back to me.
“You have no right,” I say, pushing him away from me and getting off the bed.
He has absolutely no right to show any ounce of emotion when it comes to Thumper. None at all. He's the reason he's dead.
“My baby,” I scream, my sobs becoming uncontrollable now. “My baby, Ricardo. Not yours.”
He moves toward me but I make a fist and cock my hand back. “You take one more step and I will punch you, Ricardo. I will punch you with
everything I have in me...I will punch you hard enough that you feel all the pain you've just caused.”
He takes another step forward and raises his chin. “Then do it, Lou-Lou. Let me have it. But trust me when I say, there's no punch in this world that's hard enough. There's no punch that could ever compare to the pain I have inside when it comes to our baby.”
“Mine,” I correct him, my fist shaking. “And what? You think some tattoo on your fucking arm fixes it? You think putting my baby's name on your body honors his death somehow? The death that you're solely responsible for?”
He closes his eyes and staggers back. For a moment, I think maybe I did end up punching him...but then I look at him again and I see it.
Tears...actual tears in his eyes before he collapses on the floor and buries his head in his hands.
I've never seen Ricardo break...I've never seen a fissure in his suit of armor.
Until now.
“The only reason the baby was yours and not ours was because you didn't tell me.”
I feel like I just got sucker punched in the heart with those words.
I open my mouth to tell him I was trying to protect him, but he glares at me with glassy eyes and says, “I wanted our baby, Lou-Lou. I wanted you to be the mother of our child.” He looks up at the ceiling and another tear escapes down his cheek. “And I would have done anything to protect you both, I swear to fucking God. There's no limit to what I would have done if I only knew.”
“No.” I back away. “You would have made me get an abortion because that baby would have put Jackson and Tyrone's lives on the line. It's why I went to the clinic in the first place. Well, that and DeLuca would have killed you if he ever found out. He was already making moves to get rid of you by that point and I couldn't—”
I couldn't let him kill you.
“The baby would have saved you,” he says gruffly. “I never would have made you get an abortion because our baby would have saved your life.”
“Yeah but DeLuca would have killed—”
He stands up, walks over to me, and grabs my face. “I don't care. I knew what the possibilities were but none of them mattered as long as you were safe. That's all I cared about.”
