by Ashley Jade
Jackson points to Tyrone. “I know, I just wanted to make sure he didn't forget.”
Jackson looks at me and I nod a silent thank you. Granted it's a bad attempt at changing the subject but I'm no less grateful for it. Especially when I see Lou-Lou finally start to eat, no longer looking like she wants to put her fork through someone's eye.
“Can't forget the second happiest day of my life,” Tyrone chimes in right before he stuffs his mouth with more food.
“Did you ever settle your big cake crisis?” Lou-Lou questions, giving him a look.
Shelby makes a face. “Cake crisis?”
Tyrone looks sheepish and opens his mouth but Shelby then says,. “Please, those damn cakes were ordered the second after Tyrone proposed.” When we all give her a look, she adds, “He called up the bakery and ordered ten red-velvet cakes right on the spot. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's the only reason he proposed.”
Everyone laughs, including Lou-Lou.
Shelby's usually quiet and tends not to talk too much except to Tyrone, so I know this is her way of easing the tension around the table.
“Speaking of which,” Shelby continues. “You're coming to the party, right, Lou-Lou? I already have you marked down as Ricardo's date and Momma already gave the boutique your dress size. Granted you'll have to go in and get measured for the big day.”
Lou-Lou understandably looks confused. “I need to order a special dress for the engagement party? Exactly how elaborate is this party going to be?”
Shelby shakes her head, her green eyes gleaming. “No, silly. I'm sorry, that was my fault for not explaining myself better. I was referring to the wedding. You're one of my bridesmaids. So make no plans for the end of October.”
Lou-Lou looks at me for a moment before she turns to Shelby again. “No offense, Shelby, but are you sure that's really what you want?” She bites her lip and shrugs. “I mean we hardly even know one another, I'm pretty sure the honor should be reserved for your close friends and family—”
“Damn, Lou-Lou,” Tyrone says, feigning insult. “And here I thought we were tight.”
Shelby laughs and points her thumb at him. “Tyrone wants you to be a bridesmaid.” Her eyes widen. “I mean I do too. You're right, we don't really know one another, but I'd like the chance to get to know you. Tyrone says you're an amazing person.”
Shelby looks at me and winks. “And with the way Ricardo can't stop looking at you like you're the best thing since country fried steak, I know it's the truth.”
Lou-Lou's cheeks turn pink and she puts down her roll. “I guess that means I should lay off the carbs for the next few months.”
Momma tsks and wags her finger. “Oh no you don't. You best be clearing that plate, young lady. Don't make me come over there and force feed you.”
Lou-Lou sighs and takes a big bite out of her roll. “Here we go again.” She looks at Tyrone who's still laughing. “If I've learned nothing else from living with Momma for two months, it's not to argue with her when it comes to food.”
Tyrone points his fork at her. “Smart girl. There are just some battles in life you can't win.” He gestures to the table. “A Southern woman cooking for you is one of them. It's a two plate minimum round' here.”
Lou-Lou looks at Momma and shoves a big bite of food into her mouth. “It's delicious, Momma. Best food I've ever had.”
Momma fixes her hair and beams. “Why thank you, sugar. It was just a little something I whipped up on a moments notice.”
Tyrone waggles his eyebrows at Lou-Lou and they both share a moment before she focuses those doe eyes on me again.
I bring her hand up to my lips and kiss it, feeling both proud and enamored with her.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Alyssa start to fidget, she's the one appearing uncomfortable now.
I open my mouth to include her in the conversation, but to everyone's surprise Lou-Lou does when she swallows hard and says, “Congratulations by the way.”
Her gaze bounces between Alyssa and Jackson. “Both of you.”
There's another awkward pause before Jackson gives her a smile and Alyssa looks at her and whispers, “Thank you.”
“So are you staying here now?” Jackson questions, looking at me.
Before I can answer, Lou-Lou nudges my elbow and says, “I don't know, I think it all depends on how good my hostage negotiation skills are.”
Jackson and Tyrone snort and Alyssa's lips quirk up before her expression turns serious. “I think you should stay, Lou-Lou.”
She looks at me then back to Lou-Lou.
They hold eye contact for a few seconds and there's a moment between them that I don't quite understand, but since it doesn't end up in a fight, I'll count my blessings.
The rest of dinner goes by pleasantly after that.
It's not perfect, and it doesn't mean things are fixed, but it's a start.
I wake with a jolt when I realize she's no longer lying next to me in bed.
I reach for my gun and spring to my feet, cursing myself for falling asleep in the first place.
I breathe a sigh of relief when I see her across the room.
She's sitting Indian style on the floor, facing the large window overlooking the city, the light from the moon illuminating the dark room.
I also can't help but notice the small pile of dandelions in front of her. She picks one up and squeezes her eyes shut before she blows on it, sending seeds scattering across the room.
My guts knot and my chest aches as I make my way over to where she is, it's such a heartbreaking, yet beautiful sight.
I plop down behind her, kiss her cheek, and wrap my arms around her waist. “What are you doing, baby?”
She doesn't answer right away, instead she brings my hand to her heart and blows on another dandelion.
“Wishing for miracles,” she whispers, leaning against me now.
I bury my face in her neck and kiss the soft spot just under her ear. “What kind of miracles?”
She shifts in my arms and runs her hand along my jaw. “The kind I'm not afraid to fight for anymore.” She lifts her chin and kisses me softly. “The kind I deserve.” She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me in for another kiss. “The kind that make me believe again.”
Lightning flashes outside and she places her legs on either side of mine. “I love you, Ricky.”
She kisses me deeply and I stifle a groan when she rocks her hips against mine.
Thunder soon follows and I grab her neck and force her to look at me. “I love you, Lou-Lou.”
Before she can say another word, I plant kisses up and down her throat, sucking and nipping at her soft flesh. “I love you more than anyone or anything.”
She raises her arms and I pull her nightgown over her head and toss it on the floor. Then I pull down my boxers and enter her in one swift motion.
“Il mio piccolo superstite,” I whisper, lifting her hips as I start rocking into her.
She whimpers and grips my shoulders. “Make love to me, Ricky.”
I slide my hand to the nape of her neck and pull her close with my next deep thrust. “Ti amerò fino al giorno della mia morte...e non solo.”
“Keep saying that, keep telling me how much you love me,” she moans, tilting her head back.
I repeat the statement, pick her up, and lay her down on the bed— where I proceed to spend the entire night and all of the next morning letting her know just how much I love her.
Until my dying day and beyond.
Chapter 31 (Lou-Lou)
I knock on the door and stomp my foot, hating that Ricardo's putting me in this position.
He said he had to leave for a few hours to handle some business, and if I wanted to continue staying at the apartment, I had to go over to Jackson and Alyssa's while he was gone.
In other words, he basically hired them as my goddamn babysitters.
I never thought I'd miss Marlene, but then again I guess there's a first time for everything.
It's weird as hell when Alyssa opens the door and we stare at one another for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say to the other.
On one hand, I know I should give my condolences for her mother's passing, but I can't really do that without bringing him up, so that's not happening.
I also really don't want to talk about her being pregnant.
Basically, I don't want to talk to Alyssa at all—I'd almost rather talk to Jackson and he's about as interesting as cabbage.
I don't like either of them, and the more Ricardo keeps pushing them on me, the more I want to explode.
We've only been back for 5 days, but every single day, he forces me to make contact with them in some way, shape, or form.
Today I've officially reached my limit. I've had enough of these forced pleasantries, and I have every intention of telling him that once he gets back.
But for now? I have no choice but to deal with baby bump Barbie and her jackass Jackson Ken.
I cross my arms and she moves to the side, silently inviting me in.
I glare at her and she glares right back at me.
For a moment, I wish I had a gun so she could experience how it feels to be taken hostage at gun point after inviting someone in.
Yeah, I guess some things you just don't forget.
I haven't had many relationships with people in my short 25 years...but out of all of them? The one I have with this chick wins the award for the most awkward relationship in the history of ever.
I don't exactly hate her, sometimes I even tolerate her.
And by technical standards, she's my step-sister—but neither of us dare to bring that fun fact up.
And now thanks to my sick, pedophile father having just killed her drunk, poor excuse for a mother—I'm guessing the chances of us ever reconciling our differences are pretty damn slim.
Yet, for reasons I can't fathom, Ricardo keeps insisting on it.
I stride past her and settle in on the couch, making myself comfortable since I'm going to be here for a few hours.
She sits on the couch next to me and the silence continues.
I think we're both grateful when Jackson walks into the living room.
He rubs the back of his neck, his gaze ping-ponging between the both of us.
“Did Ricardo say when he was going to be back?”
“Nope,” I answer, reaching for the remote. “You guys have cable?”
“Yeah, but—”
I sit up. “But what?”
“I don't think it's a good idea to watch television...considering the circumstances and all.”
He looks nervously between the both of us again. “I'm gonna call Tyrone and Shelby, see if they want to hang out with us—”
“They can't...they're out doing wedding stuff,” Alyssa answers, looking like she's sucking on a sour grape.
Jackson looks up at the ceiling. “Momma?”
“With them doing wedding shit,” I answer, crossing my legs and averting my gaze away from them.
“This is gonna be a fun afternoon,” Jackson mutters under his breath.
“You're telling me,” I mutter right back.
“You know, you don't need to be such a miserable bitch right now. Not for nothing, but you are a guest in our home,” Alyssa spews and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
Jackson opens his mouth but I bolt up from the couch. “Yeah, a home I have no desire to be in.” I shift my weight to one foot and narrow my eyes. “And last time I checked, the DeLuca's owned this apartment complex now.”
Jackson pinches the bridge of his nose and Alyssa snorts. “Which DeLuca exactly? Because quite honestly, it's getting a little hard to keep up.” She shoots me a cruel smile. “In fact, I'm starting to forget one of them is dead since I can hardly tell the two apart anymore.” She puts a finger to her lips and her eyes narrow into tiny slits. “Can you? I mean, do they screw the same or do the similarities end at being sick, evil, manipulating, murdering, assholes?” She sits upright. “Who can't even manage to kill the right people because they're nothing but traitors.”
Oh hell no.
I charge at her, pregnant or not, there's no way in hell I'm going to let her talk about Ricardo like that.
She waddles toward me but a thick arm wraps around my waist and tears me away.
“Enough,” Jackson barks, loud enough the windows rattle.
Great. The stupid bitch provoked this side of Jackson. It's on the tip of my tongue to remind her that Jackson's not exactly Mr. Sunshine either, but Alyssa starts crying and Jackson's expression softens. “I'm sorry, Jackson,” she cries, reaching for a tissue. “But this is ridiculous. Everyone was better off without this psycho. She comes back in like a storm and rips everyone's lives apart. I'm sick of it, I'm sick of dealing with the DeLuca's.” She juts her chin out. “And their crazy whores.”
If Jackson wasn't still holding me, I'd probably stumble back from that blow.
I knew Alyssa didn't particularly like me, but even I misjudged just how deep her hatred ran.
I open my mouth, I'm not sure whether it's to call her a nasty name or to rip up one side of her and down the other, but to my utter surprise Jackson comes to my defense.
“No, Alyssa. Everyone wasn't better off without her.” His jaw flexes. “And for you to call her that after everything you've been through...is just...wow. Usually you amaze me in a good way, but not right now.”
He releases me and walks over to her. “I know you're sick of dealing with the DeLuca's, Alyssa. I know what that family has taken from you. But Ricardo's part of our family. He's not a traitor.”
He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I'm sorry about your mother. I'm so sorry you didn't get to mend your relationship and I'm so sorry she died...but this isn't the way to deal with the loss. Lashing out at Lou-Lou and blaming her and Ricardo won't make anything better. You're better than that, damsel.” He plants a quick kiss on her lips. “I know you are, because you're the best thing in this world.”
She squeezes her eyes shut and Jackson turns to face me.
“I'm not usually one to admit when I'm wrong, but I think I might have misjudged a few things about you in the past.”
His face hardens. “Don't make me think my original thoughts about you were spot on. And don't ever charge at my girl, who happens to be carrying my baby, ever again.”
He takes a step forward and glares down at me. “Or you will break both mine and your man's heart...because I will burn the bridge between us and wipe my ass with the match. Feel me?”
“I wasn't going to hurt her.” My eyelids fall shut. “And I would never hurt your baby.”
My eyes cut to Alyssa. “Ricardo's not Bruno DeLuca. I'm sorry your mother died. I'm sorry he's still—” I pause, trying to get some control over the way my voice shakes. “I don't know why he's still alive...but if you're thinking it's because I asked DeLuca and Ricardo to spare him...it's not.”
She crinkles her nose. “I thought maybe—”
“No. Trust me, I want him gone more than anyone.” I fold my arms around myself protectively. “You saw my meltdown in the hallway a few days ago. That shit wasn't for show...it was real.”
I draw in a shaky breath. “I'm not sure why DeLuca kept him alive, I can only assume it was so he could have the ultimate leverage to use against me in case he wanted me to do something even more messed up than usual and I protested.”
I open my arms wide. “Because that's pretty much how me and DeLuca's relationship worked...I was no better than one of his lackey's. Only difference is, he controlled me, used and abused me, and called it love. He made the 15-year-old me believe he was her savior all those years ago when he was anything but.”
I push my bangs out of my face. “Ricardo's not like that though. I don't know why he's still alive, Alyssa. But whatever the reason is, I know it's an important one. I also know that the situation will be handled soon. I don't know when or how. I don't know any of the details, and quite frankly, I'm not sure I want to...but I trust it will happen. Ricardo loves me too much not to kill him.”
I look her right in the eyes. “I'm really sorry your mother got caught in the cross fire in all this.”
Hot tears run down my face because if she didn't hate me before, she's going to hate me after my next statement, but it's the only thing I can honestly think of to say to her. “I'm sorry she's gone...but maybe you can find solace in knowing she's not in any pain anymore. Because trust me, Alyssa, being with him—there was nothing but pain.”
I take a step in her direction. “But now she can be at peace. Hate me all you want, but I truly hope you find some kind of closure in that, because it's the truth. She's at peace now, Alyssa. She's free.”
I don't even have time to brace myself before she's throwing her arms around me, crying so hard I have to look at Jackson to make sure she's okay.
He gives me a smile and squeezes my shoulder. “Thank you,” he whispers.
I'm not exactly sure why he's thanking me, instead of dealing with this himself now, but I nod anyway.
Alyssa's still a blubbering mess in my arms, but he spins around and walks backwards, pointing to what used to be Tyrone's old bedroom. “I have to finish putting some stuff together in here, but if you need me don't hesitate.”
A smile stretches across his lips. “I love you, Alyssa,” he calls out, but she just waves a hand in his direction and he leaves.
I'm at a loss of what to do, I never thought I'd be in a position of consoling a hysterical, pregnant Alyssa in my arms.
“It's the hormones,” she blubbers. “It makes me a raging bitch one second and a basket case the next.”
I pat her back awkwardly, since she's making no move to stop this strange hug-fest. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Just hold me,” she wails.
So I do.
After what feels like hours have gone by, she finally pulls back. “Thank you for saying what you did. It was messed up, but it was the truth.” She exhales sharply. “I hate that she's gone and I'm pretty sure this is a loss I'll never get over. But it was something I needed to hear.” She smiles through her tears and looks up. “I know she's with my dad now...where she belongs.”
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