I deliberated for a minute whether I should respond. What I wanted to say was, I wish it were you, but that would only hurt her more. And her message was quite clear. She was brushing me off. She wasn’t fine about Chris’s death. That much I knew.
I hurled the phone against the wall. Mason’s drywall survived the assault.
My phone didn’t.
Chapter 39
Nolan
The limo pulled up to the security post of Alyssa’s gated community. After a brief word with the guard, we were waved in. The record label had arranged for the limo. They wanted to ensure we showed up at the movie premiere together, since I was there as her boyfriend.
My mouth dropped open as we drove past houses that were better described as estates. My parents’ home was large, but it was nothing compared to these.
The limo turned in at the driveway of a house that belonged in a fairy tale. Hailey would have loved it. Sighing, I pushed away thoughts of her. This was Alyssa’s big night. The last thing she needed was for me to be moody and ruin it for her.
I waited for the driver to open my door, then I walked to the house and rang the doorbell. A moment later the front door swung open.
Alyssa’s painted pink lips curled up in a smile, and all I could do was wonder why she was wasting time with me. She should’ve been going to the premiere with someone who wanted to be there with her. She shouldn’t have been going with someone who’d been coerced into being her date.
Alyssa was normally gorgeous, but in her silver gown she was stunning. The cleavage-revealing dress was fitted to midthigh, then cascaded to the floor. Her hair was knotted in a bun, adding to her elegance.
“You look great,” I said.
“You don’t look so bad yourself.” Her gaze traveled down the tux that I felt like an idiot in. The record label had arranged it too.
“Are you ready?” To leave. To stand in front of hundreds of fans. To deal with the media storm.
I offered her my arm and I escorted her to the awaiting limo. The driver opened the door and I helped Alyssa in, then joined her. She patted the black leather seat next to her. I took the one across from her.
She giggled. “I’m not going to bite, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I know, but I’m happy here.”
“Okay.” She moved to sit next to me. I wasn’t sure if it was intentional, but she practically sat in my lap.
And that’s when I smelled the booze on her breath. Shit. She rested her hand on my knee and gave it a light squeeze as the limo pulled away from her house.
“Alyssa, you’re a nice girl, but I don’t feel that way about you.” My voice was cautious, quiet, like how you’d talk to an animal you don’t want to spook. I didn’t want to upset her when we were attending the premiere, but I needed to ensure she understood this wasn’t real.
“Why? Because of the girl in the pictures?”
“Yes.”
“But she lives in Minnesota and you live in L.A. Are you really planning to have a long-distance relationship?” Her lips pressed together into a slight pout.
“We’re not having a long-distance relationship.”
“She’s moving here?” The pout disappeared and the corners of her mouth dipped down.
I shifted my knee, subtly removing her hand from it. “No. We’re not together.”
It took a moment for it to sink in. Her eyes widened. “You’re…you’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
I nodded.
“Does she feel the same way?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure.” And I wasn’t. I’d seen her love for me in her eyes, but she hadn’t actually said the words I’d longed to hear.
Alyssa scooted back, leaving more than a foot of space between us. “What do you mean, you’re not sure?”
“Just that. I have no idea if she loves me.”
“Well, what did she say when you told her you love her?” When I didn’t answer, she said, “You did tell her you love her, right?”
“Not exactly.”
Fine lines crossed her forehead. “What do you mean, ‘not exactly’? You either told her or you didn’t.”
“I told her she was my heart and soul.”
Alyssa nodded what I could only guess was her approval. “That’s not bad. And what did she say?”
“Nothing. We were too busy kissing.” I felt like I had back in high school, when Hailey used to give me advice about dating and girls. Or at least she did until our senior year. Then the advice suddenly stopped.
“Okay, so what did she say when you asked her to move to L.A.?”
Now it was my turn to frown. “I didn’t. I mean, I didn’t ask her to move to L.A. She wants to study physical therapy and get into the program back home. I figured she wouldn’t want to move here.”
“But you didn’t give her the choice to decide if she wanted to move here with you.”
“Sure I did.”
Alyssa shook her head as if I was an idiot, and maybe I was. “No, you didn’t. You decided she wouldn’t want to move here because of her goals. You never asked her. Maybe she wasn’t sure if you wanted her to come here to be with you.”
She had a point. I’d just assumed Hailey wouldn’t want to move to L.A. But she had never indicated she would want to or that she would be fine with my constant touring.
I pointed this out to Alyssa.
“What was she supposed to do?” Alyssa replied. “Your record label and my agent decided we’d both benefit from this fictitious relationship they dreamed up. And with our fans so enamored by the idea of the clichéd good girl taming the bad-boy rocker, why would she risk everything when it was already determined you two can’t be together?”
She had a good point. “So what should I do?”
“Ask her if she wants to live with you. She doesn’t have to physically live with you if she’s not comfortable with that. But at least she could live in the same city as you.”
“And what about the record label?”
“Couples break up all the time. If I want to break up with you, there’s nothing stopping me.”
“Except for the recording contract they offered you.”
“I don’t think they’ll change their minds because of that. Tell you what. Why don’t we take one step at a time? We’ll attend this premiere as a couple. Give the audience what they want. Then the first chance you get—sooner rather than later—you go back home and ask Hailey if she wants to move here. And then we’ll see what happens.” She tilted her head to the side. “Does that sound like a plan?”
I wasn’t sure if I was making a mistake or if I was about to cause myself more heartache, but Alyssa’s plan had merit, except…
“How’s this going to help my reputation? If anything, it will only make things worse. I’ll be labeled as a cheating asshole.” And it wouldn’t score Hailey any brownie points either.
Alyssa patted my knee. “It’s going to be okay, Nolan. You just have to have faith. Let people get to know the real you, and everything will be all right. And I’d love to meet Hailey. If I accept her as someone important in your life, the fans will too.”
I hoped she was right.
Once we arrived at the location of the premiere, the traffic surrounding the theater slowed the limo’s progress. As the occupants of each limo in front of us climbed out to greet the crowds lining either side of the theater entrance, my leg bounced with restless energy. But it had nothing to do with the screaming fans.
It was due to Alyssa’s advice. If I could, I would’ve hailed a cab and rushed to the airport to catch the next flight to Northbridge. But as much as I wanted to do that, I couldn’t let the band down again. I needed to stay in L.A. until the record was finished. Or at least until the band’s part in recording the album was completed. Only then could I return to Northbridge and show Hailey how much I loved her and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
I hoped she felt the same way about me.
The limo pulled up to the red carpet. Camera flashes lit the area as fans waited with bated breath to see which celebrity had just arrived. The limo door opened and security helped Alyssa from the vehicle. Adoring screams filled the night sky as the fans caught sight of her. The woman I recognized as her assistant was instantly by her side and spoke to her while I stepped out of the limo.
You’d have thought that I too was starring in the movie, from the way the crowd reacted at seeing me. Feeling a little sheepish at the attention when I was nothing more than Alyssa’s escort for the night, I waved. Alyssa stepped up to me, wrapped her arm around my waist, and cuddled close. I knew it was nothing more than an act, but that didn’t stop me from stiffening.
Flashes of light burst in front of us as fans and the media captured this fake moment. Inwardly I groaned. This wouldn’t help my case with Hailey, especially if she saw the photos and video footage. If I was lucky, she would be avoiding anything to do with Alyssa and me and would never see any of this.
A production assistant indicated for us to keep moving toward the theater. But that didn’t mean we got to escape to the safety of the building. We still had to deal with the various entertainment reporters.
Alyssa held my arm, like the adoring couple we pretended to be. It was easy for her. She was an actress. I was just a singer and songwriter. That didn’t require me to act beyond what was needed for the band’s music videos. Even my years of pretending to be someone else were pretty useless right now.
We approached the first reporter and her camera operator.
“Hi, Alyssa,” the tall redhead gushed in that overzealous way common among entertainment reporters, which often left me inwardly rolling my eyes. “Megan Keyes with We Talk. You look absolutely gorgeous. As always.”
Alyssa smiled graciously, her reaction no doubt genuine. “Thank you, Megan.”
“And you…” Megan looked momentarily thrown as to what to call me. Which wasn’t surprising. I hadn’t really decided myself what name I wanted to use career-wise.
Alyssa gave my arm a light squeeze, reminding me what she had told me in the limo: Let people get to know the real you, and everything will be all right.
“You can call me Nolan.”
Alyssa beamed at me, but not for the same reason Megan assumed. I smiled back, even though it would only further cement everyone’s belief we were a couple.
“Nolan,” Megan said, “you look particularly yummy.” To Alyssa she added, “You have very good taste.” She then asked a few quick questions about the film before we were hustled to the next reporter. She barely had enough to time add “Congratulations, you two” before we were gone.
Alyssa waved to a group of teenage girls screaming at her and waving banners that proclaimed NOLYSSA, WE LOVE YOU and NOLYSSA FOREVER!
“Nolyssa?” I said under my breath.
“Nolan and Alyssa,” she explained. “That’s what our fans have been calling us.” She directed her smile at me. “They’ve accepted you as Nolan. They want to get to know the real you, too.”
“How long has this been going on? With the joint name, I mean.”
She looked at me, slightly taken aback. “They were referring to us as Tylyssa for a while before this. The name changed after the paparazzi leaked your real name.”
No wonder fans reacted the way they had when it looked like Hailey had been trying to seduce me away from Alyssa. But what would happen when Alyssa and I ended our fake relationship? How would these die-hard Nolyssa fans react?
I hoped that if Hailey agreed to move to L.A. to be with me, the fans would realize that she was the right girl for me. But in the end, it didn’t really matter if they agreed or not, as long as they left her alone and moved their attention to another celebrity couple.
“Kiss her!” a girl called out. Before I could react, Alyssa leaned in and kissed my cheek. Camera flashes went crazy.
I scowled at her. “Why did you do that?” I said, a little more forcefully than was warranted.
She smiled sweetly. I didn’t know if that was for my benefit or for the benefit of those watching us. “Because if I didn’t, they’d keep hounding you to kiss me. This way they’re semi-appeased. At least I didn’t kiss you on the lips.”
She was right, but it didn’t make me feel any better about the situation.
Alyssa and I endured being interviewed by two more entertainment reporters before we could finally enter the grand theater. And like with Megan, they commented on our relationship. Alyssa did her best to redirect the conversation to the movie.
Once away from the crowds and the media, our mini entourage found our seats and we settled in for the movie. Since we were no longer in the eyes of the media, we could stop the loving-couple routine. Now we were just two friends out to see a movie—a movie Alyssa happened to star in.
Sadly, because I’d been so involved in my own personal dramas, I’d had no idea what the movie was about. Her previous movies had been romantic comedies. And yes, the title, Forgiven Chances, didn’t exactly scream chick flick, but I hadn’t paid much attention to that either.
Alyssa’s character entered a convenience store with a homeless teen she was going to buy food for. But the store was being robbed and one of the assholes overreacted. He wasn’t armed with a gun like his friend.
He was armed with a knife.
My hand unconsciously shifted to where my father had stabbed me.
Chapter 40
Nolan
FIVE YEARS AGO
My father stood in front of me and Hailey, blocking our escape route. I tightened my hold on her hand, warning her to remain silent.
“We’re leaving.” I nudged Hailey to the side, keeping her as far from him as possible.
“Why was there a fuckin’ cop car in front of the house earlier?”
I was surprised the house didn’t shudder because of how loud he bellowed. Hailey stiffened next to me. She knew he got angry. This was the first time she had witnessed this small taste of it.
My father narrowed his gaze on me. “What kind of fuckin’ trouble you get into now?” Before I could respond, he grabbed hold of my T-shirt with both hands. The stench of booze rolled off him in waves.
With more force than I expected given his drunken state, he shoved me into the wall. My head bounced back hard against it, and the world tilted as if it had shifted off its axis. I was vaguely aware of Hailey and Mom screaming, their panicked voices somewhere in the distance.
I shook my head, struggling to regain my senses. Run, I silently pleaded with my mom and Hailey.
With my gaze locked on my father, I told Hailey to go home. She didn’t move at first, but after what felt like several minutes, she disappeared out the front door. My father didn’t make any attempt to touch her. If he had, I would have killed him.
The front door clicked shut.
“Why was the fuckin’ cop here?” he repeated, voice no quieter than last time.
“Why don’t we eat dinner first, Gordon, then we can discuss it.” Mom’s tone was soothing through years of practice, but even so, it still wavered slightly. If my father noticed, he was doing a great job hiding it. His alcohol-bleary eyes studied me for a moment before he nodded and staggered after her into the kitchen.
A deadly silence suffocated the hallway.
I needed to get out of here. Mom would be fine. I was the one who had fucked up in his eyes.
Since he was preoccupied for a few minutes and wouldn’t know I was gone, I snuck out of the house and shut the door quietly behind me. I needed to see Hailey. Just for a few minutes. Just so she knew I was okay.
Hailey’s bedroom light was on. Her parents had gone out and wouldn’t be back for a few more hours. I rang the doorbell and a minute later the door opened to reveal my best friend, no longer in the wet shorts and my hoodie. Now she was in her sleep shorts and flimsy tank top. My dick jerked to life, its typical response whenever she was dressed this way.
Her gaze searched my body for signs of injuries
. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” But I didn’t feel fine. I felt trapped. Trapped and fucked, and I didn’t know what to do about it. “Can I stay with you for a bit?”
“Of course.” She reached for my hand and led me into the living room. “You want to watch a movie?”
I nodded even though what I really wanted to do was hold her. While she put the DVD in the machine, I lay down on the couch.
She turned around, and an adorable frown crept onto her face. “Hey, where am I supposed to sit?” She eyed the armchair, which wasn’t her favorite. She thought it was lumpy.
I patted the cushion in front of my hip. “There’s plenty of room here.”
The frown became an equally adorable pout. No other girl could pull it off the way Hailey could. No other girl looked as sexy as Hailey did. “But you get to lie down. Why do I have to sit?”
“Nothing’s stopping you from lying here too.” I scooted back. My back was pressed against the couch, giving her a little more space, but not a whole lot. We’d have to get cozy if she didn’t want to end up on the floor.
And that was my goal. I wanted to move our relationship up a level. I’d known her forever and had been in love with her almost as long. I had no idea if she felt the same way about me. This would be the ultimate test.
She lay next to me, her body touching mine. I wrapped my arm around her waist. Her breath hitched, the small movement pressing her back against me. Her sweet vanilla scent had me visualizing all kinds of scenarios, most of them involving her on her back and me kissing her senseless.
Even though we had never watched TV this way before, it felt natural. Her body fit mine perfectly, like we were designed to be together this way.
My mind was only half on the movie—the other half was figuring out the best way to make my next move—when my cellphone pinged in my back pocket. Any other time I would have ignored it, not wanting to end this possibility between me and Hailey. But a warning in my gut told me I needed to check who was texting me, now.
I pulled the phone out and read the message from Sarah: Where are you?
This One Moment Page 19
