“Have you told Nolan that you love him? And I don’t mean as a friend.”
“He told me I was his heart and soul and, well…” What exactly had I said when he told me that?
Nothing. I’d kissed him, but that was it. Yes, I’d thought about how he was my heart and soul too, but I hadn’t actually said the words. I wasn’t sure if they meant the same to him as they meant to me. Maybe that was why I’d been hesitant to believe he was declaring his love for me. More than likely, in guy talk, he’d been hoping to have sex with me again.
“I kissed him,” I said.
Kayla’s mouth flopped open. She blinked. “Shit, girl. The guy says he loves you and you’re sitting on this couch, hanging out with me, when you should be in L.A. with him.”
“One, he didn’t say he loves me.” Except he did, in the note he’d left the morning he returned to L.A.
Kayla threw me a look to tell me I was an idiot. I couldn’t disagree with her there. There was a small chance she was right. A very small chance.
Kayla continued giving me the look.
Okay, a big chance.
“It was implied in his words,” she said. “In case it’s skipped your notice, Hailey, he’s a musician. And musicians are more poetic than your typical male.” She threw her hands up. “I swear, sometimes you’re as dense about these things as Dylan.”
Ignoring her outburst, I went on. “Two, the record label is pushing for this relationship between Nolan and Alyssa, to save his reputation and to help the band become even bigger. A bad-boy reputation can only get you so far in the industry.” A similar reputation had killed several promising careers in the past few years. Those musicians had never been heard of again. I didn’t want that to happen to Nolan.
Kayla gave me the you’re-an-idiot look again. If she wasn’t careful, it might become permanently etched on her face. And her boyfriend might not appreciate that. “Right. Because everyone knows that celebrity relationships last.”
I folded my arms. “Theirs could.” Hell, why was I defending their relationship?
Kayla snorted. “You’re right. His touring schedule and her movie schedule will be super-conducive to a solid relationship. The record label’s stupid if it thinks their relationship—fake or real—will last and help Nolan’s reputation in the long run. The paparazzi will be constantly hounding them, ready to do anything to poke holes in their relationship. That will be enough to destroy it. Happens all the time.”
I laughed. “Tell me what you really think.”
She shrugged. “I just think you and the label are wrong. Nolan doesn’t need a celebrity girlfriend to save his reputation. He needs a sweet, loving, down-to-earth girlfriend. A girlfriend who isn’t constantly in the spotlight.”
“But I’ve already been in the spotlight,” I pointed out.
“That’s only because you, in the eyes of the paparazzi and fans, tried to destroy what Nolan and Alyssa supposedly had between them. But think about it. How many non-celebrity boyfriends, girlfriends, or spouses end up in the tabloids? None of them. Not unless they do something illegal or immoral that drags their celebrity lover into their mess. I don’t care what you believe. You’re perfect for Nolan’s reputation.”
She was right. But…“I’m not sure the label will see it that way.”
“The label isn’t what’s important. Nolan should have a say in who he’s dating, not the label. Look, all I’m saying is you need to go to L.A. and tell him how you feel. Tell him you love him and tell him that you’re willing to move there to be with him.” I opened my mouth to speak, but she didn’t give me a chance to say anything. “I know you’re scared of being hurt again, but you need to do this or else you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what if.”
I released a long, slow breath. “You’re right. But it’ll have to wait until he’s finished recording his album. The last thing he needs is for me to go to L.A. now and disturb him.” Kayla opened her mouth, no doubt to argue against what I was saying. I raised my hand to stop her. “No, it has to be my way. This album’s important to him and the band. If I’m gonna do this, it’s not at the risk of that.”
While my romantic-at-heart best friend would have preferred that I rush to L.A. in some grand gesture, she nodded, seeing I wouldn’t budge on this point. No matter what happened between me and Nolan, his music career came first. He’d worked so hard and defied all kinds of odds to get where he was. I wouldn’t take it away from him. He deserved everything and more.
My phone played a generic tune. I glanced at the number but didn’t recognize it. I accepted the call. “Hello?”
“Is this the slut who’s trying to steal Tyler Erickson away from the sweetest person alive?” The menace in her voice caused the air in my lungs to stop moving. I quickly hung up on her and stared at the phone as if it had turned into a viper.
“What’s wrong?” Kayla asked. I barely heard her over the pulse pounding in my ears.
“Hailey?” She waved her hand in front of my face, breaking my trance.
I swallowed. Hard. “That was a member of the Nolyssa fan club.”
Kayla’s eyebrows drew together, forming deep crevasses. “What did she say?”
“She asked if I was the slut who was trying to steal Tyler away from Alyssa.” I figured there was no point telling Kayla exactly what the fan had said about Alyssa. She was already angry enough as it was.
“You’re fucking kidding me!”
I shared her sentiment. “I don’t even know how she found my number. It’s not like I give it to everyone I meet.” Although who knew what I’d done during those five days I still didn’t remember.
Kayla narrowed her eyes at me. “Don’t even think it.”
“Think what?” I gulped down some soda, stalling.
“You’re going to use this call from some crazed fan to avoid telling Nolan the truth.”
Kayla knew me too well. But really, who could blame me? This wasn’t the life I’d signed up for. I didn’t do well having people hate me. I’d always done things to avoid that. And for good reason.
“This wasn’t a fan who wrote a comment on a fan site,” I reminded her. “She tracked down my number. She might not have found out where I live or work, but that doesn’t mean someone else can’t. Someone who is even more pissed off at me.”
The lines on Kayla’s forehead deepened. “You need to tell Nolan.”
I shook my head. “No, he doesn’t need to know about this. And you can’t tell Brandon either.” Because he would tell Nolan.
“Then tell the police.”
“And what are they going to do? It was one phone call. It’s not like she threatened my life.” Nor was it linked to what had happened to me and Chris in Northbridge. That was their bigger priority. They wouldn’t care about some crazed Nolyssa fan.
Not unless she was connected to the attack and murder.
Chapter 43
Nolan
The final note of the song faded away and I glanced at Daniel Maynard, sitting behind the impressive mixing console in the control booth. He nodded, which was good, but I also recognized his expression and what it meant.
“That was good, Nolan,” he said through the microphone. The rest of the band was standing behind him, listening. “But I’d like you to sing it again, this time with more emotion during the chorus. The song is about finding the girl you love after losing her. Show the listener how broken you were and how seeing her again gave you hope.”
I nodded and waited until the engineer started the instrumental track of the song again before pouring my heart out. I thought about how this time tomorrow I would have told Hailey that I loved her and asked her to move to L.A. to be with me. True, she could say no and break my heart, but it was worth the risk.
By the time I finished singing the song, Daniel was grinning. “Perfect. She’s one lucky girl.” He winked at me, clearly knowing the song was about a real girl. But I had no idea if he assumed the girl was Alyssa.
The doo
r to the control room opened and my supposed girlfriend walked in. At the unexpected intrusion, all six guys in the crowded space turned to her. I couldn’t see their expressions, but I could imagine Mason’s at the sight of Alyssa’s short skirt, stilettos, and long legs.
She waved to me and spoke to the guys in the room. They nodded. In contrast to what the fans and media believed, the band knew I wasn’t in love with her. They were aware I’d been doing exactly what the record label had requested. And even though none of them had protested at what I’d been forced to do, I could tell Jared wasn’t thrilled with any of it.
I joined everyone in the control booth. They peered expectantly at me as I walked through the door, all curious about what Alyssa could possibly want with me.
She placed her hand on my arm. “Can I talk to you for a moment? It’s important.”
I looked over at Daniel, since he was the one calling the shots. As it was, he’d been very accommodating by allowing me an hour off twice during our recording sessions, so I could meet with my therapist. Talking to my supposed girlfriend was pushing things.
“Go ahead,” he said. “We’ll start laying down the final track. Just don’t be too long.”
I led Alyssa down the hallway to the office where my therapy sessions had been conducted. I knocked on the door. When no one answered, I opened it and waved her in.
Calling the room an office was generous. It was more like a cross between an office, a storage room, and a place where staff and musicians could crash for a few minutes during late-night recording sessions. A naked bulb hung overhead and cast eerie shadows around the room.
Alyssa gracefully navigated her way around stacks of sheet music, books, and paperwork and sat on one side of the couch. I removed a pile of sheet music from a plastic chair and turned it around. The corners of her mouth momentarily twitched down as I sat opposite her.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Have you seen the social media and fan sites since the premiere?”
“No, we’ve been too busy.” Not to mention that I never bothered with any of those things. Kirk and Jared were the ones who had taken over the responsibility of dealing with social media. Mason was banned from it because we were worried what he would say, especially if he’d been drinking.
“You don’t know, then?”
“Know what?”
“About the rumors of our breakup?”
Shit, that had been fast, but I couldn’t say I was disappointed. “No, but that’s good. I’m flying out to see Hailey tomorrow and asking her if she wants to move in with me.”
And if she did, we’d have to find a new place to live. One without Jared, my current roommate.
Alyssa cringed. “You might want to wait on that.”
I frowned. “Why?”
“The rumors are claiming Hailey’s the reason there’s trouble in paradise. It was leaked to the media that you bailed on me during the premiere.”
I felt the frown deepen. “I didn’t fucking bail on you.”
“I know that, but unless you go public with what happened, you won’t be able to contain the rumors.”
I grunted. “They’ll pass. As soon as the next celebrity scandal comes along, everyone will forget that you and I were ‘dating’ ”—I finger-quoted the last word—“and everything will be fine.”
“I hope you’re right.” Her shoulders raised and lowered in a long, slow movement. “There are some pretty die-hard fans when it comes to Nolyssa.”
She tapped the screen on her iPhone, handed it to me, and left the room.
Confused why she’d given me her phone, I looked at the screen. At first I couldn’t figure out what I was looking at. But then I pieced it all together. It was a fan site dedicated to Alyssa’s and my relationship. Some of the fans were disappointed at the rumors the relationship was possibly ending. Others weren’t too surprised, because most celebrity relationships didn’t last.
But a few comments had me wanting to smash my fist into the wall. The individuals wanted to physically harm Hailey for being responsible for the demise of Nolyssa.
Deciding to spare the wall, I sent a knee-high pile of paper flying across the room. The pages scattered, creating a huge mess. Much like my life.
I stared at the comments for several minutes until a knock on the door intruded on my not-so-pleasant thoughts. When I didn’t answer, the door opened.
I expected to see Alyssa there, but instead Jared stood in the doorway. “You ready to do this?” he asked.
“Yeah, sure,” I mumbled.
I reached the door, but Jared didn’t step out of the way. “Why do you look like someone keyed your car?” he asked.
I briefly explained what was going on.
“Shit. What are you going to do?”
“Nothing for now, I guess.” Other than contacting the Northbridge police. But who knew if they would take it seriously. “It’s just empty words. I can’t see anyone actually tracking Hailey down.” After all, they weren’t the paparazzi—they were just fans. I hoped that Hailey realized that too, especially if she’d seen the comments. Otherwise, no way would she agree to be my girlfriend, let alone move to L.A. to be with me.
—
“Okay, that’s a wrap,” Daniel said five hours later, after we’d listened to the song’s final mix. Smiling, he nodded at us. “I thought your debut album was good. But this one is much stronger.”
Mason hooted and high-fived Kirk. “We’ll kick the hell out of the charts this time.”
We laughed at his enthusiasm, but I had to agree with Mason and Daniel. The album was our best one yet.
And it was the album that would show the world Hailey and I belonged together. The songs existed because of Hailey, like “This One Moment” from our debut album. I’d written it when I first realized I’d fallen in love with her.
As we packed up to leave, a nervous energy twisted inside me. My flight wasn’t until tomorrow morning, but in ten hours I’d see Hailey again—and this time it wouldn’t be in the hospital because she was in a coma. This time when I kissed her, unlike the last time when I first arrived in Northbridge, she’d be able to kiss me back.
She would be able to hear how much I missed her, how much I loved her.
Chapter 44
Hailey
“Are you home?” Kayla asked me on the phone as I packed my suitcase for the week.
“I am for a few more minutes, then I’m heading over to my parents’.” They’d left for their Mexican cruise this morning and had asked me to house-sit.
“Have you received any more letters or phone calls?” she asked.
“Only the one letter from yesterday, and I haven’t received any more calls since the last one.” After calling me three times, the Nolyssa fan had given up phoning me when I’d quit answering her calls. The cops hadn’t been able to identify where the calls came from, but they did have the letter. It hadn’t threatened my life, unlike some online comments I’d seen. It contained a rather lengthy explanation as to why I was lacking compared to Alyssa when it came to being Nolan’s girlfriend.
But the fact the girl knew where I lived disturbed me the most. If she could figure it out, then maybe so could some of the more ardent Nolyssa fans. Eventually things would die down when Nolan and Alyssa officially broke up and both of them moved on with their lives, or once the rumors ended that they were headed for splitsville. But until then, my life was still potentially at risk.
“Have you told Nolan?” Kayla asked.
“No, I think he’s still in the recording studio.”
“But are you going to tell him?” Her tone wasn’t so much a question of whether I’d do it or not. It was a demand.
I removed a couple of pairs of jeans from my closet and folded them into my suitcase. “If you’re asking if I’m gonna talk to him, the answer is yes. As a friend.” I missed him more than the last time he’d left, and that had been unbearable. This time it felt like all the air in the room had been sucked away, and
I was no longer able to breathe.
“But you’re not gonna talk to him about being his girlfriend and moving to L.A.?” The demand in her tone had been replaced by the desire to whack me on the back of my head for being such an idiot. But this was Kayla. I was used to it.
“No, I’ll continue being his friend and see what happens between him and Alyssa.” I’d decided on this in case he was falling for her, as the media suggested. I couldn’t compete with her and I wasn’t going to try. That was more than my poor heart could handle.
Kayla sighed. “Okay. I’ll support you in whatever you do. But I really hope it works out for you two. You’re perfect together.”
If only Nolan’s fans agreed with her. “I know. But it is what it is. I’m just happy for him no matter what he ends up doing.”
We continued talking as I wheeled the suitcase to my car.
“Let me know if you need anything,” Kayla said as I approached the trunk. I scanned the area for crazed Nolyssa fans. Other than an elderly couple I recognized from the floor below mine and a sleek blue car pulling into the parking lot, no one else was around. The late afternoon sun peeked from behind a random cloud.
At my parents’ house, I parked my car in the driveway. My parents had taken a cab to the airport, and their BMW took up most of the space in the two-car garage. I glanced at the neighbors’ houses but did my best not to look at the one that would cause me the most pain.
A memory slipped in from the last time I’d been in the house. It was a memory that I had forgotten until now. Dad had called me, asking if I could find some legal documents in Nolan’s house. He didn’t have time to come back to find them, and wanted me to take a look.
That’s when I had accidentally found the letters I wasn’t sure Nolan had known about. The letters from his mother to her lover.
Unease spread through me at the memory, but I couldn’t figure out why.
Still avoiding looking at Nolan’s old house, I removed my suitcase from the trunk and wheeled it to the front door. I unlocked the door and entered the house I hadn’t visited for a few weeks now.
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