This Child Is Mine

by Mildred Colvin

  When Jon turned into her driveway and stopped, Beth reached for the door handle.

  “Please, tell me something. Why are you so angry?” His voice stopped her.

  “Oh!” Beth made an exasperated sound. “As if you don’t know.”

  His breath rushed out.

  She turned in the seat to face him. “Listen, Mr. McDuff, I don’t know how things are done in Kansas City, but around here, we don’t buy babies.”

  Oh, he was good. The shocked look on his face appeared real. “I did not offer to buy Stevie. I offered to adopt her.”

  “With money. I don’t see the difference.”

  He glanced toward her house. “There’s a lot you could do with that kind of money.”

  “Not without Stevie. And that is what you meant, isn’t it, Mr. McDuff? You expected me to turn my baby over to you. That’s why you brought a car seat. Because you expected to go back to Kansas City with my baby. And you had no intention of handing Lexie over to me, either. Or even letting me see her.” Beth jumped from the car and jerked the back door open before she shut the front door. She unhooked the belt holding her sleeping baby and lifted her to her shoulder. She grabbed the diaper bag and almost ran over Jon in front of his car.

  With dignity she didn’t feel, Beth stepped past him and marched to her front door. There she fumbled with baby, diaper bag and key until a warm masculine hand close over hers.

  “I’m sorry I made a mess of things. Let me open the door.” Jon pulled the keys from her hand.

  She pushed the door open and flipped on the lights. Disillusionment filled her heart. Tears stung her eyes. She turned to the man standing in her doorway. “What did you expect from me? Did you honestly think money could take the place of my baby? How could anyone be so cold?”

  Before he could answer, she took the keys from his hand. “Mr. McDuff, I meant what I said in the restaurant. I don’t ever want to see you again.”

  Chapter Four

  Ten o’clock the next morning Jon pulled himself from bed. After a sleepless night in a motel room and a couple of tablets to knock the edge from a swelling headache, he headed toward Brewster and Web Law Offices in downtown Bolivar. Maybe a visit with Mr. Web would straighten out the confusion in his mind about Mrs. Elizabeth Carter.

  He parked on the square and made his way to the store front law office. After giving his name to the receptionist, he eased into one of the metal and vinyl chairs lining the outer wall then leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. Without conscious thought, the vision of Elizabeth Carter came to his mind.

  All night he’d tried to shake the memory of her eyes so like Lexie’s. The hurt in them gripped his heart just as Lexie’s baby hurts always brought a protective instinct from deep within him. Knowing he was the cause of Mrs. Carter’s pain troubled him. He’d been so sure she would be willing to discuss the possibility of adoption with him if he dangled enough cash in front of her. She hadn’t even asked what he considered just recompense. Instead she grabbed the baby and ran.

  “Mr. McDuff?” The receptionist’s voice penetrated his troubled thoughts. “Mr. Web will see you now.”

  Gary Web looked to be about ten years older than Jon. He stuck out his hand with a smile. “Good morning, Mr. McDuff. What can I do for you today?”

  Jon shook hands and sat in the chair he indicated. “I’d like some information. But first I need to tell you I’ve been to see Mrs. Carter.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yes, last night. I took her and Stevie to dinner in Springfield.”

  “I see.” Mr. Web’s eyebrows lifted. “Do you mind telling me what prompted that?”

  Jon shrugged. “I wanted to discuss the possibility of adopting Stevie.”

  After a chuckle, Mr. Web said, “I’m surprised you’re able to tell about it this morning.”

  Jon didn’t see humor in the situation. He frowned. “I offered to pay any expenses she has been out over the past year and a half.”

  Mr. Web laughed before apologizing. “I’m sorry. You see, I attend the same church Beth does, so I know her fairly well. I’d guess she’s pretty steamed at you about now. Am I right?”

  Jon nodded.

  “Did you honestly expect her to hand over the baby she’s raised from infancy for a few dollars? Or any amount for that matter. By the way, I’m sure you know buying and selling babies is illegal not to mention immoral.”

  “That is not what I proposed.” Jon shook his head. Didn’t these people understand anything?

  The other lawyer nodded. “I see. Let me ask you this. I understand your wife is no longer living. If she were, would she have given up her baby? Would your mother have?”

  “My wife? Yes. My mother? No.” Jon looked across the desk at Mr. Web. “Not all women have a strong maternal instinct. To such women, money is more important than a child that isn’t theirs in the first place. Mrs. Carter has limited income, and since Stevie is not actually her child, I merely suggested she allow me to adopt her. That, in itself, should relieve her financial difficulties. Paying back expenses would only be fair.”

  “I see. Now you know Beth is like your mother—not your late wife.” Mr. Web leaned back in his chair. “Let me tell you something about Beth. When she first came to me, I encouraged her to bring suit against the hospital. She refused, saying she understood how the error was made. She said the hospital was not at fault. Instead, circumstances, the confusion of the freeway pile-up, and probably one nurse’s error caused the switch. No amount of money would entice her to cause pain to another person who had not hurt her intentionally. I don’t know what your intentions are regarding the hospital, but Mrs. Carter will not sue. And she wants to keep this all quiet. Her concern is for the babies. Just as I believe yours is.”

  Jon sat for several minutes trying to take in this new picture of motherhood that was nothing like Sharolyn had been from the time she first discovered she was pregnant. His father’s investigation had uncovered Beth’s financial situation, but had not touched on her heart and soul. Now, he realized she was more than a struggling single mother who barely met the bills each month. She was a mother in the true sense of the word. Like his own mother.

  Shame washed through him, and he stood to shake hands with the lawyer. “Thank you for your time and your advice. I can see what I did was wrong and not well thought out. Although my intentions were not to buy a child but to simply bring my child home where she belongs, I see where Mrs. Carter may have gotten the wrong idea. I suppose I would be just as angry if the tables were turned. I love Lexie as if she had been born to me. Mrs. Carter obviously feels the same way toward Stevie.”

  Mr. Web nodded. “Yes, she does.”

  ~*~

  Jon stepped out on the sidewalk as the sun peeked from behind a blanket of clouds. He’d been so convinced Mrs. Carter needed and wanted money. He’d assumed she would be like his wife. Maybe not eager to be rid of the baby but at least willing to discuss the possibility. He walked to his car and unlocked the door. Sharolyn still held power over him. Somehow she’d convinced him that all women were like her. But they weren’t. How could he have forgotten his mother or his sister?

  He drove slowly through the streets of the small town going ever farther from the busy hub of the square. When he stumbled upon a park in the north part of town, he pulled into the deserted parking area and stopped. There he saw water from a small lake glistening in the sunshine. Swan and several white geese swam across the surface. Reminded of a similar lake in the park near his home, he climbed from his car. The tranquil movement of the water had a calming effect when life’s troubles pressed too close.

  Jon sat on the bank and stared at the rippling water as a warm breeze touched its surface. Strange how the weather could change so quickly from freezing cold the night before to sunshine and warm breezes the next day. Just like a woman. What about Mrs. Carter? Was she as changeable as Sharolyn had been? Not that Sharolyn ever changed her mind about wanting their baby. She had
n’t. But she’d been master at freezing him out one minute and snuggling against him the next. Anything to get her way.

  For several minutes Jon watched the water lap gently against the bank of the lake. He breathed a prayer for direction. Lord, help me know what to do about Stevie and Lexie. Sitting back while the courts decided where the girls belonged wouldn’t be sufficient. Not for him. Surely he could do something to insure both girls would be part of his life. From what he’d learned about Mrs. Carter, she wouldn’t be content with visits, either. Actually, he was surprised she hadn’t tried to get custody of both babies. If Gary Web knew her as well as he thought he did, the babies were of paramount importance to her. So much so that she might—

  Jon’s mind whirled as a new possibility occurred to him. It just might work. If only he could figure out the details then convince Mrs. Carter it was the best way. If she agreed to his plan, they would both win.

  Jon stayed by the lake, praying for wisdom, going over details in his mind, and trying to foresee any possible complications. Finally, a rumble in his stomach reminded him he hadn’t eaten breakfast and it was after noon. He glanced at his watch. Four more hours until six o’clock. It had been about that time last night when the two children had been picked up from Mrs. Carter’s day care. He wanted her full attention when he presented his proposal so he’d wait until straight up six before dropping in on her. In the meantime, he’d grab a bite to eat then try to get some rest.

  ~*~

  Beth kept the swings going for her two- and three-year-olds while she watched the rest of the children, especially Stevie. With the children’s excited calls and laughter as they tried to release an entire winter’s pent-up energy in the space of one warm morning, Beth was afraid she might not hear an intruder. She didn’t really believe Mr. McDuff would try to kidnap Stevie. She gave him more credit than that. But she knew of the dogged determination Stevie displayed when she wanted something. Mr. McDuff had unfinished business in Bolivar. Beth knew it as well as she knew Stevie had inherited her stubborn streak from someone besides her or Steven.

  Beth let the swings slow to a stop and pulled the sleeping baby from his infant swing. She adjusted the blanket around him and started toward the back door. “Let’s everyone line up. It’s time to go inside.”

  “I’m stayin’ outside.” Three-year-old Jackie turned to go the opposite direction.

  Beth sighed. Everyday Jackie pushed the limits.

  “That’s fine, Jackie. You may stay outside and play alone while the rest of us go inside to paint a picture.”

  As she expected, the other children quickly got into line chattering and asking questions about the painting they would be doing. They followed her to the door while Jackie took a few minutes to make his decision before trailing after them.

  Painting supplies waited in the kitchen where Beth had left them the night before. Allowing the children to paint in the kitchen served two purposes. Cleanup was easier, and she could fix lunch while they were occupied in the same room with her.

  “Sit around the tables while I put the baby in his bed.” Beth watched Jackie jostle another child to get the seat he wanted. When no fight broke out, she stepped through the dining room and into the living room where the baby’s playpen stood.

  She carefully lowered the sleeping baby, then stood and looked out the window to the street beyond. No silver SUV in sight. She breathed a sigh of relief and went back into the kitchen.

  She made sure each child had a plastic apron over their clothing before she handed out paper and small bowls of her own homemade paint made of food coloring, soap and corn starch mixed with water. While the children smeared red, blue, and yellow streaks across their paper, Beth started water boiling for noodles.

  By the time lunch was ready, her small artists had tired of painting and were ready to help clean up so they could eat. Beth hung the paintings by clothes pins to a small umbrella line she kept in the corner for that purpose. Four-year-old Amanda placed the freshly washed brushes in a cup and put it on the shelf.

  After lunch, while the children slept, Beth played on the floor with the now wide-awake four-month-old and listened for the sound of a motor outside. After several minutes of startling every time a vehicle passed, she moved to the rocker in front of the window so she could see both the street and her driveway. She looked out at the empty street and almost wished Mr. McDuff would show up. At least then she could stop worrying that he might.

  The children woke from their naps and he hadn’t come. When Jackie left at three o’clock, Beth looked out the door. Still no sign of a silver SUV. By the time Debbie and her baby brother left minutes before six o’clock, hope blossomed within Beth. Jonathan McDuff could’ve gone back to Kansas City. Maybe he had taken her seriously when she told him she didn’t want to ever see him again.

  Not likely. Beth picked up her little daughter and gave her a hug. “How would you like to go see Aunt Lori tonight?”

  Stevie grinned and jabbered something in her own baby language that Beth didn’t catch.

  Her baby’s lone dimple flashed with each movement of her mouth. The dimple she’d thought was so cute before now served as a stark reminder that their lives were no longer their own. As much as she longed for the baby she’d given birth to, she dreaded the day she would have to hand Stevie to Jonathan McDuff and watch him walk away with her even for only a few minutes.

  The thought spurred her into action as she grabbed the diaper bag on her way out the door. She should call Lori first, but she hadn’t planned to run away until the last minute, and she didn’t like using her cell phone in the car. She pulled to a stop in front of Lori’s ranch-style house and looked at the closed garage door. Not knowing whether the door shielded a car or an empty garage, Beth turned to Stevie.

  “Mama’s going to see if Aunt Lori’s home. Okay?”

  Stevie nodded, her large brown eyes showing trust Beth knew she didn’t deserve. Then Stevie said, “’Kay.” Her baby smile warmed Beth’s heart.

  Beth dug her cell phone from her purse, found Lori, and hit send. If she wasn’t home or didn’t have time for them tonight, Beth didn’t know what she would do. One thing was for certain, she didn’t plan to return home and confront Mr. McDuff.

  After what seemed longer than it probably was, Lori answered. “Hi, what are you doing?”

  “Sitting in your driveway. Are you home? Is it all right if we come in? I thought you might like to take in a movie or something tonight.”

  “Sure, it sounds like fun. What’s going on?”

  “Why does something have to be going on? Can’t I goof off once in a while?”

  Lori laughed. “Goof off, yes. But you act like you’re scared of something. You know, like the boogy man is after you.”

  Beth sighed. Lori knew her too well. “Let me get Stevie out, then I’ll tell you what’s been going on.”

  ~*~

  One pizza and two movies later, Beth packed a very sleepy Stevie out to her car. Lori trailed behind carrying the diaper bag. She remained silent until Beth closed the back door and turned to take the bag.

  When Lori handed it to her, she said, “It’s going to be all right, Beth.”

  Beth blinked against the stinging in her eyes. She nodded. “I know. I keep telling myself that. Then I look at Stevie and I realize I’m going to lose her. I’ll have to share her with her real family, Lori. What’s she going to think when she’s old enough to understand? Maybe she’ll want to live with them. She may not want anything to do with me after she’s met them and she knows they’re hers in a way I’ll never be.”

  Lori touched Beth’s shoulder in a gesture of comfort. “You’re the only mother Stevie ever had. This is a mixed-up mess, but God knows what He’s doing, Beth. Don’t ever think He doesn’t care about you. You’ll always be Stevie’s mother—in her heart and yours, too. And now you have another baby.”

  “Mr. McDuff may remarry.”

  “So what?” Lori gave Beth a quick hug. “You prob
ably will, too. That will just give the girls two more parents to love.”

  “One more. I’ll never find anyone who can make me forget Steven.” Beth opened the car door and slipped inside. She smiled up at Lori. “I’ll try to hold to your optimism when Mr. McDuff confronts me as I know he will. I’m surprised he didn’t come today.”

  “Maybe he’s given up and gone home.”

  Beth’s laugh was not as cheerful sounding as she would have liked. “You are the optimist, Lori. Mr. McDuff is probably just as determined to have his way as Stevie always is. You know how she can be. He wants her, and I’ll bet the only reason he didn’t show up today is because he’s been trying to figure out the best way to get her away from me.”

  With Lori’s reassurances ringing in her ears, Beth drove the short distance to her own house. Maybe she should have stayed home. A confrontation might be better than looking over her shoulder all the time, hoping there was no one there.

  She glanced at the clock on her dash. It was just after ten o’clock. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about him stopping by this late at night. She breathed easier until she turned on her street and saw the dark shape of a vehicle parked near her house. Her head lights picked up the silver color as she reached her driveway.

  Although she was tempted to keep driving, Beth steeled herself for the inevitable. She’d have to confront Mr. McDuff sometime. It might as well be tonight. She turned into her driveway and watched her head lights sweep the front of the house. A man sat on her porch swing waiting. He lifted his head to watch her come to a stop at the end of the driveway.