This Child Is Mine

by Mildred Colvin

  Jonathan came out of the house still carrying a baby on each arm. His mother followed with her grandson. Beth felt left out until Jonathan stood in front of her with a grin.

  “Which one do you want?”

  Beth didn’t need to make the decision as Stevie lunged for her. She followed Jonathan to the center of the yard where his mother waited with Robbie. They set the children down and crouched beside them. As soon as their grandfather gave the signal, the adults crowded around the little ones encouraging them to find eggs.

  Jonathan helped Lexie while Beth helped Stevie until they found themselves in front of the same egg. While they held back, not wanting to give either child the advantage, Stevie reached down and picked up the egg. Her dimple flashed as she held it with both hands toward Beth. Just as Beth reached for it, Stevie turned and gave it to Jonathan.

  “Why, you little stinker.” Beth acted as if she were going to grab her little turncoat daughter.

  Stevie squealed and ran into her daddy’s waiting arms. He bent to give her a kiss on the forehead. Then he grabbed her up and sat her on his bent leg to kiss her again.

  Beth recognized the change in his actions. Her heart plunged. Something was wrong. She moved closer. “Jonathan, what is it?”

  He looked up with a frown. “Stevie has a fever.”

  Chapter Nine

  “Stevie has a virus?”

  “Yes, Ma’am.” The doctor barely glanced up from his prescription pad. “It’ll run its course in a couple of days, then she’ll be up getting into things again.” He handed Beth the prescription he’d just written. “This should help with the fever and those aches that come with it.”

  “You’re sure she’ll be all right?” Jonathan held Stevie close in his arms. He had scarcely left her side since the day before when he discovered she had a fever.

  “Oh, yes, she’ll be fine. If her temperature comes up, bathe her with lukewarm water. Unless it goes too high. Then you call me.”

  As they left the office, Beth looked at Jonathan. “Are you sure he knows what he’s doing?”

  “He’s a pediatrician. I’ve always brought Lexie to him. Why?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. He just seemed so unprofessional. So laid back. . .so. . .I don’t know. . . .”

  “Matter of fact? Unconcerned?” Jonathan nodded. “Yeah, but maybe there isn’t that much to be concerned about. Maybe what she has isn’t serious.”

  “I hope not.”

  They stopped to get the prescription filled before going home. Beth assumed Jonathan would go to the office after dropping her and Stevie off at the house, but he insisted on carrying Stevie upstairs. When he sat in the rocker with Stevie cuddled against his chest, Beth turned and went back downstairs in search of Lexie. She found Mary watching cartoons on TV while Lexie stood at the coffee table coloring.

  When Mary looked up, Beth said, “I didn’t realize you like cartoons.”

  Mary smiled. “Oh, yes. I watch at least one every day or so.”

  Beth shook her head with her gaze on Lexie. “There’s so much I don’t know about my little daughter. Stevie has never sat still long enough to get involved in TV. Then, too, I always had the day care, so she wasn’t exposed to it much.”

  Mary stood. “That’s good. We don’t watch a lot here either, but Lexie thinks she needs the noise while she colors. What did you find out about Stevie?”

  Lexie seemed to be ignoring them. She stood quietly, her attention apparently divided between the TV and her coloring.

  Beth turned from watching her little girl. “She has a virus. The doctor said she’d be up and around in a couple of days. Jonathan is with her now.”

  Mary moved to the door chuckling. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he stays with her until he knows for sure she’s going to be all right.”

  “Oh, no, he’ll have to go to work, won’t he?”

  Mary stopped short of going through the door. “Don’t count on getting rid of him too soon.” She nodded toward Lexie. “That baby means the world to him. I look for Stevie to find an equal place in his heart.”

  Beth watched Mary disappear into the dining room. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Stevie becoming so important to Jonathan. She knelt beside Lexie and gave her a quick hug. “May I color with you?”

  Lexie looked at Beth over her shoulder. “No.”

  “No? Why not?” Beth picked up a red crayon. “How about if I color the sweater red?”

  Lexie scooped up her coloring book and stepped around the corner of the low table to lay it back down. She scribbled several lines through the picture before flipping the page over to color more, ignoring Beth.

  Beth sat back on her heels. Jonathan had taken over Stevie and Lexie wouldn’t let her near. Tears of self-pity stung her eyes.

  What had she done? Come to Kansas City to let Jonathan McDuff steal both her girls right out from under her nose?

  Well, he wouldn’t get away with it. She stood and held out her hands toward Lexie. “Come on, darling. Let’s go upstairs and see what Daddy and Stevie are doing.”

  “Dada?” Lexie’s eyes brightened at the name.

  Beth felt a weight drop on her heart. Lexie left no doubt as to who owned her affections. The experts said the first few years of a child’s life set the pattern for the rest of his life. Did that mean she had already lost Lexie? Was there no room in her little daughter’s heart for her?

  Lexie came to her easily enough and Beth knew why. She wanted to go see her precious Dada. Beth carried her up to the nursery where she met him backing out of the door.

  He put a finger to his lips. “She’s asleep. I gave her the first dose of medicine and she was out like a light.”

  “Dada.” Lexie leaned for Jonathan.

  He took her and kissed her on the forehead. Beth would have liked to stamp her foot, but instead folded her arms and with a touch of ice to her voice said, “She’s fine.”

  Jonathan leaned back a bit to see Lexie better. “Good. I want her to stay that way. What would you say if we moved her bed out of the nursery until Stevie’s fever breaks?”

  “Where?”

  “I don’t know. Mary’s room or mine.” Then as if reading the anger in her eyes, he added. “I’d rather she be as far from the nursery as possible. You’ll be busy with Stevie, anyway.”

  Beth shrugged. “I suppose.” She hadn’t been busy with Stevie yet. She hadn’t given her any medicine and she hadn’t put her to sleep. She’d held Lexie maybe two minutes, which was just enough time to get her to her daddy. She was the nanny, not to mention the mother, and she couldn’t get near the children.

  Lexie slept in Mary’s room for the next two nights while Stevie’s fever gradually disappeared. Jonathn popped in and out of the nursery so much Beth wondered if he didn’t trust her to care for her own daughter. About the only time she could be assured of his absence was during the afternoon while both girls took a nap.

  Then in spite of Jonathan’s precautions, Lexie came down with the same symptoms Stevie had, and he moved her back into the nursery. Beth half expected him to blame her for Lexie’s sickness, but he simply shrugged and said, “I guess I didn’t get her moved soon enough. She probably caught the bug when Stevie first got sick.”

  Beth nodded. “My experience in daycare taught me that anything contagious spreads from one child to another almost before you know it’s there.”

  With both girls back in the nursery, Beth became even busier than before keeping Stevie occupied while tending to Lexie’s needs. Lexie fussed at the least provocation and refused to take her medicine.

  Beth held her in the rocking chair, talking to her, trying to convince her to taste the yummy clear red syrup. She held the syringe filled with a teaspoon of antibiotic ready to squeeze into her little girl’s mouth. “Come on, sweetheart. Stevie likes the medicine and you will, too. Can you open up for—”

  She almost said, “for Mama.” They’d agreed to teach the girls to call them Mama and Daddy, but how
did Jonathan really feel about it? Would he care if Lexie began calling her Mama? She glanced toward the door and almost dropped the medicine when she saw him leaning against the doorframe. Had he heard her slip up and did he know what she hadn’t said?

  She willed her heart to slow its rapid pounding. “Hi, you startled me. How long have you been there?”

  “Long enough to see you’ve got a problem.” He pushed away and crossed the room to kneel beside her. “Let me help you. Lexie does not take medicine willingly. I always lay her on her back with her head elevated. Once it touches her tongue and she realizes it isn’t so terrible, she’s fine.”

  Beth allowed Jonathn to position Lexie across her lap with her head on her arm. He held the baby’s head still with a hand on either side of her face. Then he nodded to Beth. “Go ahead.”

  Beth pushed the tip of the syringe between Lexie’s lips, and she opened her mouth to cry. Just as Jonathan had said, when she squeezed a few drops on her tongue, the crying stopped and she swallowed. Beth quickly emptied the rest of the teaspoon into Lexie’s mouth.

  “Wow.” Beth looked at Jonathan and smiled. “You must have done this before.”

  “Yes, a time or two. I usually have Mrs. Garret or whoever is handy help me. Sadly, Lexie doesn’t seem to learn that medicine isn’t a bad thing so each time it’s given, we have to go through the same process.”

  Beth helped Lexie sit up and was surprised when she didn’t immediately launch herself at her father. Beth gave her a quick hug and settled back in the chair to rock her.

  Stevie brought a book to Jonathan and patted his leg. “Wead.”

  Jonathan laughed and Beth’s breath caught in her throat. She had always liked the lone dimple beside Stevie’s mouth, but on Jonathan, it had a devastating effect on her heart. An effect she had no interest in pursuing.

  His amused gaze met hers over Lexie’s head and something in his look changed as he focused on her eyes and then her mouth. For the longest three seconds of her life, Beth stared at Jonathan until he blinked and smiled. Then, as if nothing had happened, he slipped an arm around Stevie and asked, “Is this girl a readaholic or what?”

  He took the book and tickled Stevie until she giggled and struggled to get away. Beth watched with a sad smile. This was what Stevie had missed by not having a father. Jonathan was good for her. She held Lexie close and felt her baby snuggle even deeper into her arms as she kept the rocker going. Lexie needed a mother just as much as Stevie needed a father. They had both missed so much. But would their temporary arrangement heal the losses their babies had suffered or cause an even greater loss at some point later in their lives? Beth couldn’t help wondering what would happen when her services as nanny were no longer needed in the McDuff family.

  She leaned her head back against the chair and closed her eyes as Jonathan sat on the floor to read with Stevie on his lap. Beth breathed a silent prayer for strength and direction while he and Stevie were occupied. How could she stand to lose her daughter again now that she had held her and loved her?

  Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

  Scripture she had known from childhood came to her mind. As she pondered the words, she realized God did not want her questioning His plan for her. If she put her trust in Him and acknowledged His Lordship in her life, she had nothing to worry about. He would direct her paths and as her Heavenly Father, He would lead her only into good.

  She looked down at Lexie and watched her chest rise and fall. She must be asleep. Did all mothers think their child was beautiful far beyond that of other children? She glanced at Stevie and smiled. Surely the delusion had nothing to do with giving birth. Stevie and Lexie were equally beautiful in her eyes.

  Jonathan closed the book and, with Stevie still on his lap, looked at Lexie, then up at Beth. “I see our patient is asleep. Do you want me to put her to bed?”

  Beth started to say no, but changed her mind and nodded. “Yes, if you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all.” Jonathan let Stevie go and hopped up. He picked Lexie up with a gentleness Beth couldn’t help recognizing. When he turned from the baby bed, he returned to his spot on the floor and watched Stevie sort through a shelf of books. When she made her selection and brought a second book to him, he picked up the first she had discarded on the floor and handed it to her.

  “Let’s put this book back before we read another.”

  She shoved the new book at him. “Wead.”

  He took the book and again handed her the first one. “Okay, I’ll read when you put this one up.”

  Stevie took the book and ran across the room to poke it at the shelf of books. Beth watched Jonathan grin at her effort and sighed. Stevie seemed to be bonding with her father. She should be glad, but she wasn’t. Not really. What was she going to do? Selfishness and jealousy were wrong. She needed to get over both.

  “Why don’t you take a break?” Jonathan asked. “You’ve been cooped up in here for three days and probably will be for two more. Go shopping or do something fun for yourself. You need the time away.”

  Beth shook her head. “No, I’m fine.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe you are and maybe you aren’t. But wouldn’t you be a better mother if you had some time to yourself once in a while?”

  “Do you have a problem with my work?” Beth felt the sting of his words although she didn’t believe he’d meant to criticize.

  Jonathan’s eyebrows lifted. “Are you kidding? The girls are clean, well-fed and happy. You treat them both the same. I don't think I’ve ever seen any child get as much loving attention as you give both of these babies. I don’t know how you do it especially when one or the other has been sick and fussy ever since you’ve been here. That’s why I think you need a break. Take a couple of hours at least to do something fun just for yourself. Take the rest of today and tomorrow if you want.”

  Beth laughed at the thought of her leaving Lexie for so long while she was sick. She shook her head. “You know I won’t do that.”

  “Then only take a few hours. Stevie and I can read that long, can’t we, Stevie?”

  Stevie plopped on her daddy’s lap and grinned. “Wead. Book.”

  Beth smiled. “I know Stevie can. The question is, can you?”

  He laughed. “If not, I’ll fake it.”

  “All right.” Beth headed toward her bedroom. “I’ll go.”

  She closed the bedroom door and reached for her purse. Where would she go? What would she do? She didn’t want to go shopping. Then she had an idea. She dropped her purse back in place and went out the door to the hall.

  The housekeeper wasn’t hard to find. When Beth presented her plan, Mary gladly let her have the run of the kitchen. Beth loved to cook and had missed making snacks for the children in her daycare. She washed her hands as she debated with herself whether to make a nutritious snack or let herself go with chocolate chip cookies.

  As soon as she saw Mary’s supplies, she decided on the cookies. Two hours later, Beth pulled her last batch from the oven. She scraped the warm cookies onto a platter already heaped and running over. She washed the cookie sheet and wiped the counter. Mary’s kitchen looked as good as new, except for all the cookies on the table. Three platters held more cookies than the entire McDuff family could eat in a week.

  Beth took a clean plate from the cabinet and selected three oatmeal-raisin cookies, three chocolate chip cookies, and three peanut butter cookies. She lifted her eyes to the ceiling and laughed. Stevie couldn’t eat three cookies, she probably couldn’t eat three cookies, and Jonathan probably wouldn’t want to.

  “Oh, well.” She spoke aloud. “It’s his fault I did this so he’d better eat his share.”

  She poured milk into a sippy cup and two glasses, placed everything on a tray, and headed upstairs. She met Mary on the stairs coming down. When Mary eyed her snack, Beth smiled.

  “As you can see, I got carri
ed away. There are plenty in the kitchen. Please help yourself to as many cookies as you want.”

  Mary nodded. “I believe I’m ready for a cookie break. Those sure do smell good.”

  “Thank you.” Beth went on to the nursery, hoping Jonathan would think the same.

  He looked up when she entered the room. “Back so soon?”

  “I didn’t go anywhere.” Beth set the tray on a low table in the corner. She pulled out one of the tiny chairs. “Come on, Stevie. Snack time.”

  Stevie scrambled to the table, and Beth handed her a cookie and her sippy cup. Jonathan joined them, standing next to Beth. He reached for a cookie and took a bite.

  “M-m-m, this is good.” He reached for another. “You were supposed to get away and do something fun, but I’m not complaining. I hope you made enough.”

  Beth giggled. “Wait until you see your kitchen table.”

  ~*~

  Jon lay back on the quilt Beth spread over the grass and relaxed. Warm sunshine touched his arm and neck making him sleepy. A bird’s trill filled the air. Another answered. He closed his eyes to listen. Children playing called to one another in the distance. Two people walked past talking. A wet tongue slurped across his cheek.

  He sat up, wiping the side of his face. “Yuck. I wasn’t expecting that.”

  Stevie giggled and clapped her hands. Lexie followed her lead. Beth laughed. The guilty puppy placed both paws on Jon’s leg and tried to climb into his lap.

  Jon pushed him away. “Stop. You’ve done enough bonding with me for one day. Go play with the girls.”

  Stevie grabbed the puppy. “Mine goggy.”

  Lexie reached a tentative hand out and touched the puppy’s head. She squealed, jerking her hand back. “Goggy.”

  Jon took Lexie’s hand and helped her pet the puppy. The small animal squirmed in Stevie’s arms until he broke free and both girls clapped their hands and screamed. The puppy, wriggling from one end to the other, bounced between the babies, causing giggles and squeals.

  Jon shared an amused look with Beth as she sat back watching. Bringing his brother’s puppy on their outing to the park had been a good idea. After being cooped up in the house all week, the girls and Beth needed to be out in the sunshine and fresh air.