This Child Is Mine

by Mildred Colvin

  As Beth came out of the bathroom, she heard what sounded like a dinner bell clanging. She had started to wear her new expensive jeans and western shirt, but after Cecelia’s promise that she would be working like a ranch hand, she opted for the old pair of jeans and shirt she’d packed. Cecelia might not mind getting muck and dirt on her designer jeans, but Beth did.

  She could hear people stirring from one end of the second floor to the other. Doors opened and closed and the murmur of voices drifted through her open door. Beth sat on her bed and pulled on the new boots Cecelia had insisted were necessary equipment for life on a ranch.

  With some free time on her hands while everyone else dressed, Beth reached for her Bible and read from the Psalms. Then, as others began drifting downstairs, she grabbed her hat and, feeling like a real cowgirl, clomped down the stairs to the dining room.

  The aroma of bacon and eggs caused her stomach to growl as she sat in the chair Jon held for her. She glanced at him when he sat beside her and wondered if the only time she’d be near him was when they ate.

  He flashed a grin her way. “Hi, how did you sleep?”

  “Fine.”

  “What’s wrong? Are you missing the girls?”

  “I suppose a little. Why? Am I acting homesick?”

  He chuckled. “I hope not after only one day. You just seem quieter than usual.”

  They bowed their heads as Gene Timmons led the prayer of thanksgiving for their food. At his “Amen” Jon leaned closer to Beth. “After breakfast we’ll go out to the barn. There’s a few little chores we do before the ride. Carol’s in charge of the kitchen and she’ll need help getting enough lunch packed for the trail ride. I know you like to cook. Would you like to help her in here while we take care of the horses?”

  Would she! Beth thought of her new clothes folded out of sight in her suitcase upstairs and wished she could run up and put them on. Fixing lunch for sixteen would be easy and leave little chance of getting dirty. She smiled at Jon. “I’d love to, but how do I go about getting the job?”

  “No problem.” Jon leaned forward and looked toward the end of the table where Carol sat. He nodded and lifted his thumb. Carol Timmons, a petite woman in her early thirties seemed to have a perpetual smile on her face. Now her smile widened as she met Beth’s curious gaze. She gave Jon a thumbs-up gesture, and the deal was made.

  “You had that prearranged.” Beth accused Jon. She laughed at his innocent look. “What’s wrong? Do you think I’m too much of a sissy to muck out a barn?”

  Jon shrugged. “If you insist we can always tell Carol you’ve changed your mind.”

  “No, you don’t.” Beth grabbed his arm as if to hold him down. “I know a good thing when I see it.”

  Jon’s eyes grew even darker as they searched her face. Beth felt as if she were tied to him in some unexplainable way. Then she became aware of her hand still on his arm and pulled it away, breaking his hold on her. Her fingers tingled and her breath came in short bursts.

  How could this be? She was not supposed to fall in love again. At the moment, she could barely remember what Steven looked like as his image had been replaced by Jon’s. Beth attacked her plate of pancakes with bacon and eggs simply because she felt the need to keep busy and ignore the intense attraction for the man by her side.

  Jon seemed to ignore her while they ate. Once, he asked for the butter, but took the dish as far from her fingers as possible. No doubt to avoid touching her. Surely he’d felt the same attraction she had and was just as confused by it. At least, she hoped so.

  Beth breathed a sigh of relief when Jon left with the others. She stood and pushed her chair in then turned when Carol approached.

  “I’m so glad you offered to stay and help me. Most of our guests want to get out on the range as soon as possible and forget there are indoor chores to do as well.”

  “I’m glad to help.”

  “You’re Beth, aren’t you?” Carol began stacking plates so Beth gathered the table service. “Jon mentioned this is your first experience with a dude ranch. It’s been tame so far, but we’ll get out on the trail here in a little bit. Have you ridden before?”

  “Yes, and no.” Beth laughed. “I’ve ridden very little and never learned to ride.”

  Carol smiled. “That isn’t a problem. We’ll find a gentle horse for you.”

  Beth enjoyed Carol’s chatter as it took her mind from Jon and the new, strange feelings she had for him. By ten o’clock, she and Carol had the dining room and kitchen clean. They had enough sandwiches, potato salad, and beans packed for sixteen people with hearty appetites.

  “This looks like plenty for twice this many people.”

  Carol laughed. “I assure you, it isn’t. By the time we stop at noon, you’ll be able to eat twice what you normally do. Everyone will.”

  Beth patted her full stomach. “After such a big breakfast, I don’t know how. I’ll take your word for it, though. You are coming on the ride, aren’t you?”

  Carol nodded. “Oh, yes, I wouldn’t miss it. Anymore, I don’t get out as much as I’d like, so this is my way of finding time to ride.”

  Beth didn’t know what to expect as she and Carol joined the others at the barn. Everyone appeared clean enough, although one man had a streak of mud down one leg. Beth could only imagine what had happened to him.

  Jon greeted her with a smile. “You missed some fun.”

  “Oh, really?” Beth couldn’t control the flutter deep inside that his dimple caused.

  “Yeah. Johnson, the guy over there with dirt caked on his pants thought he’d be smart and mess with Gene’s stallion. Gene told him to stay away from him, that he wasn’t broke yet.”

  “He didn’t listen, did he?” Beth shook her head. A grown man acting like a child deserved some humiliation. She was glad he hadn’t been seriously hurt, though.

  “Nope.” Jon took Beth’s arm and led her to the corral where their mounts waited. “The stallion took a side step and twist and Johnson hit the ground in a slide—right through a mud puddle.”

  Beth saw the stallion Jon was talking about standing in an adjoining corral. He stood alone watching the people with wary eyes. Why anyone would want to bother a wild horse didn’t make sense. Especially after being warned to leave it alone. Beth could count the times she had ridden horseback on one hand so her biggest concern at the moment was finding a gentle horse.

  “I don’t suppose they have any very short, extremely gentle horses, do they?” She looked hopefully at Jon.

  He laughed. “I got you a gentle one named Lady. Gene says she’s been trained for beginning riders.” Jon helped Beth pick her horse out of the others and stood to one side, holding the reins while she mounted.

  “Lady.” Beth leaned forward just enough to pat the horse’s neck. “I hope you’re as nice as your name. Let’s keep in mind how easy it might be for someone like me to fall from up here.”

  Lady twitched her ears as if she understood. Jon rode into place beside her on a sleek brown and white horse that stood several hands taller than Lady. He grinned at Beth. “Are you ready to ride?”

  She nodded and grabbed for the saddle horn. “Oh, let’s not do that again.”

  He frowned. “Are you all right?”

  “Yes, I’m fine.” She kept her head still that time and didn’t feel so much as if she might fall. Her fear came from a lack of confidence. She tightened her knees just a bit and straightened her back. She could do this. She turned slowly toward Jon and caught him watching her. She smiled. “I’m ready anytime you are.”

  Rather than going in one long line with the horses riding nose to tail, each ranch hand took a few riders as they were ready and headed out. They would all meet at a pre-arranged spot for lunch. Jon and Beth went with the second group which included Robert and Cecelia as well as the ranch hand they called Buck.

  Jon rode beside Beth behind the other three. He probably stayed close so he could catch her if she fell off her mount. For the first mile or s
o, she saw the wisdom in such a precaution. After a while, she became used to Lady’s swaying motion and began moving with it. As she relaxed, she became more comfortable in the saddle. The more she allowed her body to move with the rhythm of the horse, the more she enjoyed the ride. By the time they reached the designated stop, she felt like a seasoned cowgirl.

  Jon swung off his horse as if he rode every day. Beth watched him and tried to figure out how he had gotten down so easily. While she thought about it, he appeared by her side and with a little coaching and some hands-on help had her on the ground.

  “You may need to move around a little to loosen up your muscles.”

  Beth frowned when her leg and back muscles protested. “Now you tell me.”

  He laughed. “Don’t feel bad. I’ll probably be sore for a week after we get home.”

  “That’s not much consolation.” Beth made a face. “If you’re going to be sore for a week, I’ll be sore for two.”

  Jon took her hand and they began walking. Cecelia and Robert were also strolling back and forth as were several others. Why had she let Cecelia talk her into this?

  The first group waited for them and the third rode over the rise within a minute or so. With the third group came the Timmons and the food. As Carol and Gene lifted the bags containing lunch from their horses, a cheer went up.

  Beth found a grassy spot to eat and Jon settled beside her.

  After they ate, he pulled her from the ground and helped her climb back on her horse for the return trip. She was amazed at how comfortable she felt in the saddle by then. Still, by the time she saw the barn rise to full height on the distant horizon until she slid from the saddle in the barnyard, Beth longed for a soaking bath.

  Thirty minutes later, after unsaddling and brushing her horse, Beth’s wish was granted. Just before she closed and locked the bathroom door, Cecelia handed her a bottle of liniment. “I promise this will help. Even if you aren’t sore now, you will be tomorrow, but not as much after using this.”

  Beth held the liniment close. “Thank you. I’d say I owe you for this, but you were the one who talked me into coming.”

  Cecelia laughed. “I’m not sorry.”

  With a wave, she turned and went down the hall.

  Beth locked the door and soon sank into the waiting tub of soapy water.

  Three hours and a nap later, Beth woke to the clanging of the supper bell. She took one look at her new clothing still folded in her suitcase and decided this would be the perfect time to wear them.

  Jon strode down the hall as Beth emerged from her room. She thought she saw a flash of appreciation in his eyes before his smile warmed her heart. He took her arm as if she belonged to him and she didn’t pull away.

  “Come on, pretty lady. If we don’t hurry, we’ll miss supper and if we miss supper we’ll miss the ride.”

  “Ride?” Beth’s voice rose. “As in horseback riding? Again?”

  Jon laughed. “Yeah, horses pulling a wagon filled with hay. I think the kids usually call it a hayride. And, yes, you are going.” He paused before adding, “With me.”

  Beth looked up into his eyes and her heart beat against her ribs. She would go anywhere with him. Hadn’t she proved it by going on this trip?

  When she didn’t answer, but kept looking at him, his dimple deepened and he slipped his arm around her waist, stopping her just outside the dining room. “You’d better stop looking at me that way, Beth, or I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

  Less than an hour later, Beth snuggled into the hay-filled wagon close to Jon. Cecelia, sitting across from them with her husband holding her close, smiled at Beth when Jon’s arm went around her. She knew Cecelia thought Jon cared for her. Beth glanced toward the red sun, slowly sinking behind the barn, and wondered if his actions were a product of the romance of the ranch.

  Regardless of Jon’s true motivation, Beth decided to take advantage of his nearness. She snuggled close into the circle of his arm and released a soft sigh of pleasure.

  “Are you glad you came?” Jon’s breath caressed her ear.

  She nodded, not trusting her voice to remain steady.

  “Me, too.” Jon pulled her against his side and repeated. “Yeah, me, too.”

  As the sun sank from sight and darkness covered the prairie, Beth relaxed and absorbed Jon’s warmth. She breathed in his masculine scent and smiled.

  “Are you happy?” His voice vibrated against her.

  “Mmm.” She nodded. “I like it here.”

  This is where she belonged. Beside Jon. Under his arm, close to his side. If only this ride could go on forever. If only this moment would last.

  But much too soon, the dark silhouette of the ranch house and barn stood against the darkening sky, and Gene turned the wagon onto the long drive leading to the house.

  “I guess this is it.” Jon sounded as reluctant to end their moment together as she did.

  Beth turned to look at him. His gaze met hers and drew her even closer. His eyes burned a trail over her face to her lips. When he moved forward, she lifted her face to meet his. The kiss was long and sweet. And over far too soon.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Beth cuddled her two babies close. She sat on the floor in the family room in Jon’s house, glad to be home. “I didn’t know how much I would miss you two little sweethearts.”

  From the enthusiastic greeting they had received when she and Jon picked the girls up at their grandparent’s, she assumed they’d been missed, too.

  Although she couldn’t see around the corner and down the hall, Beth heard the front door open and close. That would be Jon coming inside. Since Saturday night and the kiss they shared, she had become as sensitive to his presence as she was hurt by his withdrawal. How could a man kiss a woman the way he had and ignore her the next day?

  Saturday night and the hayride had been wonderful. Beth would never forget any part of it. If only this morning hadn’t brought such a change in Jon’s attitude toward her.

  Beth looked up as he stepped into the room. The girls squirmed away from her to run to him. Jon scooped up both girls, one on each arm. His dimple flashed as he sat on the sofa to play with them, making them squeal and laugh.

  Beth blinked away the tears that wanted to fall as she sat on the floor, hugging her knees and watching them. Was it only last night when Jon held her close in his arms? This morning his greeting might have come from a stranger. If she could only understand what had happened overnight. Where was the warm, gentle man she loved? Obviously, he regretted the kiss they’d shared as much as she treasured it.

  For the next week, Beth’s emotions continued to bounce between the two extremes of Jon’s behavior. Rationalizing his actions brought her no comfort. She soaked up the sweet hugs and kisses from her babies and enjoyed an occasional few moments of woman talk with Mary, but Jon’s presence became a strain as he held her away with his polite aloofness.

  Friday afternoon Cecelia stopped by while the girls were napping. Beth took her into the family room where they could visit in comfort.

  “Where’s Robbie?” Beth sat in an overstuffed recliner as Cecelia took the sofa.

  “At Mom’s. I didn’t want to be distracted, which is why I’m here during nap time.”

  “Oh, dear, this sounds serious.” Beth tried to make her voice light.

  “It is.” Cecelia crossed her legs and relaxed against the back of the sofa. “It concerns my little brother and his next wife.”

  The air rushed from Beth’s lungs as if Cecelia had punched her. “What are you talking about?

  “I’m talking about you and Jon. What is going on between you two?” She leaned forward, planting her elbow on her knee. “I saw him kiss you, Beth. The next morning he treated you like dirt and now he’s a bear at the office. What happened?”

  Beth willed herself to not cry even as a tear ran down her cheek. She swiped it away. “I guess you’ll have to ask Jon because I have no idea.”

  “I have asked him. He t
old me it’s none of my business.” Cecelia shook her finger at Beth. “That tells me something is wrong. How does he act here? Is he still treating you like an employee?”

  A sound that could have been either a laugh or a sob came from Beth’s mouth as she tried to speak. “I’ve been wondering how to describe it. Employee who he doesn’t much like would be even better.”

  Cecelia leaned back again and smiled. “Well, I guess that pretty much proves my theory. Jon is in love with you and he doesn’t know what to do about it because he thinks all women are out to get something from him. Sharolyn wanted his money. You want his children.”

  “Yes, I want his children. But they are my children, too.” A spark of anger rose in Beth’s heart. “Doesn’t he know children need two parents? A mom and a dad both would be nice, don’t you think?”

  Cecelia laughed. “Maybe Jon doesn’t know you’re willing to share. It’s up to you to convince him. You’ll have to fight for his love, Beth. It may not be easy, but if you love him, it will be worth it.”

  The girls woke from their naps shortly after Cecelia left. Beth took them to the backyard to play and then Jon came home.

  He lifted Lexie high into the air when Beth brought the girls inside to clean up for dinner. Stevie tugged on his pants leg. “Me, Dada, me.”

  He gave Lexie a kiss and set her down then reached for Stevie. He held her high over his head and grinned at her. “So me wants attention, too, huh?”

  He laughed and brought her down for a hug and kiss. Then he scooped Lexie up and headed for the dining room without so much as a word to Beth.

  “Maybe I’ve become invisible and don’t know it.” Beth held her hand out and looked at it. Could invisible people see themselves? She rolled her eyes toward the ceiling and shook her head before following Jon and the girls. Invisibility might be the answer, but in order to become invisible to Jon for real, she would have to leave his house.

  If it hadn’t been for Mary and the girls, Beth would have left the table after five minutes. Never had she been so sick of politeness. If Jon directed even one sentence toward her during dinner without using “Please” and Thank you” she decided she would jump up from the table and give him a hug. But he didn’t.