by Fiona Keane
“No,” I replied. “Your story belongs to you. I’d love to hear it someday, though, if you ever feel like talking. I know just what I need to know, and only because I was there that day and…”
“Because you’re falling in love with one of my best friends,” Sean murmured, chuckling to himself. My heart stopped; it was his accusation and the distraction of everyone rushing into the dining room. Avery complained of her hips hurting as she wiggled into a seat between Sean and Jesse, Ella was laughing about something while carrying in the bottle of champagne, and Lizzie…
“Mermaid,” she nudged my arm with her hip, nodding to the center of the table already full of food and cutlery, “can you move the trivet, please?”
I complied, still feeling it was difficult to breathe as I let my gaze wander along her arm, up to her bare shoulder, and down the curve of her side. I knew exactly the color of lace she wore under her dress, but thinking of how quickly I wanted to take it off once her friends left wasn’t what had my heart and lungs in a knot.
Their conversation swirled before anything was sliced or served. The lasagna, which we agreed was too hot for a summer night, but the only thing Lizzie said she knew how to make, sat in the center of the table, cooling while a quiet observer of their epic friendship. Lizzie’s fingers intertwined with mine, squeezing reassuringly while everyone listened to Ella discuss a plot to sicken her boss and Avery’s divulgence of her complex food cravings.
“Noah?” I heard Avery’s voice over the overwhelming silence. I blinked a few times, glancing around once Lizzie squeezed my thigh and brought me back to the moment. I didn’t know where I went or how long I’d been out, but everyone stared at me expectantly, and I felt like a damn fool.
“I’m sorry,” I uttered. I turned to Lizzie, her expression full of concern. “I had a really rough shift today. I guess I’m just out of it.”
She squeezed my leg once more, letting out a proud laugh to break the silence. “Damn straight. He saved lives today. What did you all do?”
“I made the garlic bread.” Ella shrugged, pouting when Jesse shook his head.
“I’m growing two lives,” Avery quipped. “Garlic bread, Ella. Seriously.” I dropped my head forward, listening to them while Lizzie rested her head on my shoulder. I turned slightly, just enough to softly kiss her hair.
“Speaking of saving lives,” Jesse cleared his throat as he stood from his chair, “I’ll be right back.”
Sean pushed back his chair, leaving just enough space for him to lean over the table and refill everyone’s champagne. “Want me to blow some bubbles in your water, Bean?”
Jesse returned, carrying his laundry basket of crumpled towels, before Avery could use her knife to filet Sean, who had already lowered his face to nuzzle hers. Their noses rubbed back and forth, his hands knotted in her hair, and she sighed blissfully. It was…precious.
“This is nothing, really,” Jesse huffed as he put the basket on the table, squeezing it between Lizzie and me, “but just some things to thank you. The pan of snickerdoodles is for Lizzie, though.”
“I love you, Jesse.” She winked at him and squeezed my hand. “Open it, Noah.”
I glanced around the table, everyone’s stares fixed on mine, and I reminded myself to relax. Why was I so wound up in that moment? I met Sean; the hard part was over. It was him, though, and his meddling he probably didn’t even know he was doing. I watched his green eyes light up when he smiled at me like a bastard. I now understood his gift, getting into people’s minds so they wouldn’t stop thinking of him and the crap he said. I felt for Avery in that moment. And Lizzie.
“Dude,” Jesse called out. “If you don’t open it, I will.”
“Don’t you dare touch my snickerdoodles,” Lizzie warned, her voice bringing me back. I snuck a glance at her, grinning like mad when she laughed while swatting Jesse’s hand away from the basket.
“Thank you,” I interjected, “but I really don’t need anything. You’re incredible people, and you’ve welcomed me into your lives like this, and really just your company is all I need.”
“He’s so damn perfect,” Lizzie sighed, dropping her head to my shoulder, “you’re all jealous. I know it.”
“You win,” Avery teased, giggling while she and Ella nodded in agreement. I laughed off their jokes and reached inside of the basket. Lizzie eagerly took off the towels, letting me see the massive piles of beer bottles and…holy shit!
“This scotch is like three hundred dollars a bottle,” I gaped at Jesse, who tipped his head toward Sean.
“We take care of each other,” Sean replied. “And Lizard’s a pile of work. You deserve the best.”
I smiled at Lizzie, feeling my damn cheeks blush. “He already knows,” she told him, eyes fixed on mine. I lifted my right hand to her cheek, forgetting we weren’t alone, and traced my fingertips along her jaw.
“I’m so happy,” Ella cooed from across the table. My forehead met with Lizzie’s, and I swear she shivered. Jesse settled back into his chair, helping Sean refill our glasses while Lizzie and I used only our eyes to communicate.
“It’s taken way too long for us to be together tonight,” Sean placed a hand on my shoulder, “but that’s something we’re all guilty of. The torture of waiting, worrying, never knowing when the moment is right or if it’s even right. But if there’s something I learned in the last year, it’s that the wait is absolutely worth it, but it doesn’t need to exist in the first place. Life is too short.”
“Sure is,” Jesse agreed, picking up his champagne flute and tipping it in the air.
“Why do I feel like my dad is about to give us the talk?” Lizzie whispered into my ear, giggling as she pulled away. “Where is this going, Sean?”
“I love you, Lizard,” he grinned, “but tonight’s about this guy.” I hated attention. Maybe that’s why I was drawn to Lizzie; she took the attention for me, pulling me right into her extroverted protection. I felt awful for not hearing everything Sean said, especially with our dinner being significant for all of us, but I couldn’t pay attention to anything once Lizzie started tracing circles on my thigh.
“Mermaid,” she practically purred in my ear. “Cheers.”
“Cheers.” I swallowed, worried about standing from the table. Please, God, let this be a sitting toast. I noticed everyone’s arms extended toward me, their glasses sloshing with water or bubbles, and they didn’t seem to notice my mind was focused on my girlfriend and what her touch did to me. They were jovial, continuing to laugh and talk while praising me.
“Cheers,” Sean repeated, clinking my glass with his, “to the one who saved us.”
“To the one who’s more than my friend,” Lizzie whispered to me before standing. We clinked, we chatted, we ate, and everything seemed right. I’d never been around such genuine love—I wanted to bottle it all up and save it for a dark day.
Stuffed and exhausted, our night continued with their banter and collective taunting of one another, everyone welcoming me into the family without a second glance. Ella snuggled between Jesse and me on the floor, Lizzie on my other side, while Avery spread out along the couch with her head in Sean’s lap. He was protective of her, and it showed, from the gentle way he caressed her cheek while speaking to anyone or how he was twisted in an uncomfortable knot just to ensure she was comfortable.
Lizzie’s pie was devoured almost immediately. We didn’t wait for plates, and most of it fed Avery. When she fell asleep on the couch, Jesse found a blanket for her before cleaning up with Ella. I tried to keep up with their conversation, hoping to make a good impression for Lizzie while she and Sean found their way outside. I’d learned more about Jesse and Ella, sort of figuring them to be the big siblings of the group: reliable, loyal anchors to the rest of them. Watching everyone smile, hearing their laughter, I couldn’t help but grin. These were my people now and at exactly the right time. I wanted to know more, but I also wanted to find Lizzie.
I stood just inside the kitchen doorway t
hat led out to Lizzie’s patio. Sean held his arm around her while they looked over the street below, swallowing more champagne and laughing. Their devotion to friendship, and each other, was evident in their comfort within each other’s arms, their routine and casual demeanor. I was smiling too just watching them, like their happiness was contagious.
In the sandwich of muffled laughter behind me in her condo and the warmth radiating from Lizzie and Sean, I felt grounded. Maybe a little out of place, but stable…and that felt…nice. Muffin scampered through the open patio door, barely brushing against my leg in a pathetic greeting, and wandered right over to Lizzie. I watched them bend to scratch Muffin’s ears, the bastard rolling over like a tramp when Sean tickled his nose. Even my dog loved them. Loved. Thanks, heart and balls. Second time in my life you’ve agreed on something.
My cheeks reddened while I watched Lizzie snuggle Muffin, her laughter filling the space between her and Sean, warming me further. I looked once at Sean, silently thanking him for caring so much for Lizzie. He was right. Did she know? I was falling in love with her.
Chapter Eleven
By the time we cleaned up, let Muffin out, and fed her cats, Lizzie and I were spent. She was still giggling and talking, high on her friends, even as she changed into my t-shirt and brushed her teeth. I said a lot of “yeah” and “uh huh” while she brushed her teeth and washed her face, totally unable to make out what she was saying.
Curling into bed sometime after two in the morning, I didn’t want to let go of Lizzie. The knot we tangled into, the perfect curve of her body against mine, it all seemed so right. Sean’s words tossed and turned, and I wondered what else he had to say. Everyone stayed, letting Avery sleep on the couch while we sat on the patio and talked as though I’d known them my entire life. Lizzie’s friends were like that, inclusive and safe. They were like the cousins or best friend you had that, no matter the time or distance, you picked up from where you left off and it just fit.
“I told Sean about you getting called away someday,” she admitted, her voice muffled with fatigue as she spoke into my forearm. I loved that about her, the bold and unforgiving blunt Lizzie who would speak whatever was on her mind because time really was too short for bullshit.
“Did you tell him you stole my heart?”
“I did,” she mumbled, and I almost couldn’t understand as her lips pressed against my tattooed skin.
“Did you tell him I’ll come back for you?” I felt her body move as she giggled, her response an unintelligible whimper. I grinned into her hair, loving the way she felt in my arms, the way her mouth tickled my skin, the way I was in love with her.
“I love you, Noah.” Now that I understood. My throat tightened and went dry, stifled by my pounding heart. Lizzie rolled over, wiping away the loose curls which fell with her movement, eyes barely open while she stared at me.
Her left hand was heavy on my cheek, her right spread against my heart. “My best friends waited years to be together, and one of them almost died. I don’t want to wait to be with someone. I don’t want to wait that long to be with someone I like, Noah. Maybe it’ll be real love. Maybe we really will be married. Maybe we’ll realize we’re soul mates. I don’t know! But I can’t think of maybes and what-ifs. I can only think of now. If now means this, then I want it. If now means not you, I’m out.”
“I guess that makes me your boyfriend after all,” I told her, my gaze flicking between her eyes while Lizzie nuzzled her head under my chin.
She hummed softly against my collar bone before looking up at me with a hesitant smile, barely squinting her eyes. “Even if you’re called away.”
“Even then,” I assured her, pressing my lips to her forehead.
“It only makes sense. Right? Being boyfriend and girlfriend before getting married? I mean, let’s not rush into anything here, mermaid,” Lizzie bantered, her sarcasm and giggle infectious.
I peered down at her. “You do realize you’ve spent the last seven nights in my bed…and we…”
“Twenty times. I know.” Lizzie winked at me, biting her bottom lip. “So, when this fight is over…make up for the twenty-first?” She moved her hand from my heart, torturously slow fingertips gliding down my body and under my shirt, tickling my bare skin. Twenty-first and twenty-second. We were tired but not that tired. Twenty-third…
***
That dark day I warned myself about came sooner than I’d hoped, in a moment I refused to give up. I couldn’t get off work to go with Lizzie to their next friends’ dinner two weeks later, and I wished I had. Every second we owned was precious, and its clock started to tick when I rolled over in bed to answer my ringing phone. Lizzie was asleep when I got to her condo, and I could tell she and Ella had been drinking because there were three open packages of cookies on the coffee table, next to three empty bottles of white or pink wine.
She was snoring in bed, competing with Muffin for acoustics. Me climbing into bed woke her enough to give me some kisses before she fell asleep again. Hours passed while I tossed and turned restlessly, having spent my shift bouncing between the hospital and fire station, unable to settle.
When the call came, I didn’t believe it. The vibration was quiet compared to the snoring duo in my company, so I missed it. The phone number was enough; I knew what the message would say.
“We understand you love your work and that you signed up for this life before you met Elizabeth Jacqueline Lewis, but we own you. Report for duty.” Essentially. It really was a captain calling to tell me I’ve been summoned to medic duties in two weeks. He apologized for the short notice, reminding me I “know how it goes.” I stared at Lizzie while listening to his words, not sure which world was real in that moment…or which needed me more. Sitting in bed, I wanted to puke.
I spun my phone around in my hand, the metal warm from my sweating palms. The device weighed a ton against my skin, holding the heavy reminder of a life I’d signed up for to save lives before I met the one who saved mine. She stirred at my side, just enough to roll onto her back while still sleeping. I wondered what she was dreaming of, whether it was us, her friends, the future. It was Lizzie; she was probably dreaming of pizza, wine, and what kept us up all night.
I flipped my phone around and around, trying to anchor myself to the moment while I watched Lizzie’s chest rise and fall, the message from my phone pulling my heart lower into my stomach. She hadn’t a clue our world was about to hit a bump, and I didn’t know how to tell her. We’d talked about it; it’d been there, the risk always hanging over us. But instead of a plan, we pushed the unknown to the side like a bill we’d neglected, knowing we’d need to deal with it eventually…just not today. Today was here, and so was the beautiful woman sleeping next to me. She twisted the sheet around her, tugging it to her chin.
“Lizzie,” I whispered, lowering my face to hers. She didn’t flinch, and I…I didn’t want to wake her. I wanted her to have a few more minutes in her dream, a few more minutes for me to quell the throbbing anxiety in my throat. I slid from bed, pulling on my sweatpants, and decided to let out Muffin before Lizzie woke, ensuring his clicking claws against her hardwood floor wouldn’t wake Lizzie or her cats.
It was half past five in the morning, and I’d never wanted a beer so badly. Once Muffin was done and plopped back on Lizzie’s couch, I took one of her cold brew coffee bottles from the fridge and found a spot to think on her porch. The paint chipped a little more with each step, and I told myself to paint it for her as soon as…before…before I go.
Staring out along the street, I took in the neighborhood I’d known before Lizzie and the same block I’d strolled with her hundreds of times by now. The sun peeked over the lake, filtering through the trees with promise of a beautiful day. I consumed the coffee in a flash, still not feeling its effects as I limply sat with my arms dangling over my knees. The warm summer breeze that tickled the leaves along her block was refreshing against my bare skin, a memory I’d hold while away.
Paint Lizzie’s pat
io and steps. See if Silas can take Muffin. Contact my landlord. I was making a mental list of how to take care of everyone before packing my bags when my phone buzzed once more. I glanced at the screen, swiping to ignore Ben’s call. I put the glass bottle in Lizzie’s makeshift flower pot recycling bin and went back inside, leaving the patio door open.
Her kitchen was dark as I wandered through, lit only by the rising sun. I saw her two cats curled in their massive circle of fluff not too far from my snoring dog, with so much fur I couldn’t tell where one began and the other ended. My phone buzzed once more, and I silenced it, placing it on her dining table and letting everything it stood for that morning remain in another room while I went back to check on Lizzie.
“Come back to bed,” she grumbled with her eyes closed. Lizzie tried to tug the sheet back for me, but her hand was so limp that nothing moved. I stepped toward the bed, kneeling on the edge so I could lean over and kiss her forehead.
“Come back,” she repeated, opening her eyes. “It’s too early to be awake.”
“We need to talk,” I mumbled, hovering my lips outside of her ear. She grunted in defiance and turned her head toward me, closing her eyes. “Lizzie.”
Lizzie’s chin tilted up, exposing part of her neck. I lacked impulse control with her, always wanting to be with her, to hold her, to fall for her…I couldn’t help it. I lifted my right hand to her jaw, letting my knuckles run the length of her neck before I lowered my lips to her throat, kissing her skin until her head dropped and I pressed one final kiss to the hollow of her clavicle. She tasted like lavender and honey, and I found myself salivating, insatiable for her.
“Noah,” she whimpered, fueling the desire burning between my lips and her skin. In that moment, it didn’t matter the weight of my phone, its impending torture. All that mattered, all I cared about, was the woman turning to lift her arms around my neck and pull my mouth against hers.
