The longing in his heart would reverberate throughout an empty ranch house.
The instant the Jeep rolled to a stop before the trailer, he outlined his plan. “I’ll work straight through the night shift. I figure you’ll be able to sleep more comfortably without me around.”
Expecting to see Caitlin brighten at the news that he had figured out a way to minimize their contact, Grant was surprised to see a look of disappointment flicker across her face.
After a moment’s hesitation, she ventured a surprisingly wifely suggestion. “You’re probably hungry by now. I’d be glad to fix you something to eat.”
A rueful smile played with the corners of Grant’s lips. “Honey, you only have to pretend to be concerned about my welfare when we’re in front of the men. I’m perfectly capable of fending for myself. I’ve been doing it for a long, long time.”
Stung, Caitlin wondered if his honeyed endearment was merely a rehearsal for when they had an appreciative audience. Why that silly little word would make her blood throb hot and fast through her veins was not a question she dared to answer just yet.
“Fine,” she replied tersely, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing his words held any power over her. She hopped out of the Jeep, not waiting for him to open the door for her as was his usual custom.
To heck with whoever is watching! she thought to herself. Let them all think our marriage is starting with a spat.
It certainly wouldn’t be out of character. Slamming the door behind her, Caitlin stalked into the trailer.
All the emptiness of the prairie could not compete with the magnitude of the solitude that filled that small trailer. For the first time, Caitlin grasped the full impact of what life might be like without her father. She found herself wandering into his bedroom just to touch his things, just to catch a hint of his aftershave still lingering in the air. Unclasping the locket that she always wore close to her heart, she looked for some sign of reassurance in the familiar faces in that faded, old photograph. The thought of her parents together again after all these years was of some comfort. If they could just keep from killing one another, maybe they could find some special healing for themselves.
Dabbing at the tears that welled up in her eyes, Caitlin told herself to be strong. If they could just make this rig pay out big, she was convinced the good news would provide her father with the will to live.
She slipped out of her clothes, hung the suit neatly in the closet, and changed into clean work clothes. Whether Grant wanted to be around her at all was of no consequence. Caitlin was not here to wallow in self-pity or pander to her husband’s whims.
She was here to make miracles happen.
Twelve
“Let’s take a short break, sweetheart,” Grant suggested, stopping what he was doing to wipe the sweat from his brow with a red handkerchief.
As the crew exchanged meaningful glances, Caitlin blushed furiously to see one man elbow another in the side and surreptitiously mouth the word “nooner.” Putting his hand protectively on the small of her back, Grant guided her away from their crude speculations.
As always at his touch, Caitlin was engulfed in sweet flames of desire. It amazed her to see how easily Grant donned the role of a loving husband. Ever since they had arrived back at the rig, tender endearments had tripped off his tongue with unexpected glibness. No matter that they were calculated to deceive an audience, those loving words turned her warm and gushy inside.
Unfortunately Grant’s acting ability presented more problems for Caitlin than it solved. Those hot glances he kept sending her way not only convinced the most skeptical among the crew that Grant was utterly smitten, they were also making it almost impossible for Caitlin to concentrate on her job. If he didn’t tone it down a notch, she was afraid that she might just accidentally walk right off the drilling rig floor. She knew that marriage was supposed to be a big step, but with forty-some feet to ground level, Caitlin worried that first step could well be her last.
“What is it you want?” she asked, deliberately concealing her irritation in front of the crew by imitating the kind of simpering looks that her girlfriends had donned those numerous occasions when they had fallen hopelessly in love.
“There’s something I want to give you.”
Taking her by the hand, Grant led her off the floor, down the steps, and toward their trailer. He opened the door for her, but before she had a chance to step inside away from prying eyes, he swept her up in his arms and carried her across the threshold amid the whoops and hollers of their appreciative audience. Squealing in surprise, Caitlin wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tight.
Playacting aside, it felt incredible to be held in a pair of arms as strong as steel, to breathe deeply of Grant’s unadulterated masculine scent, and to fall headlong into a pair of crystal blue eyes mirroring the hunger in her own.
Beneath such piercing scrutiny, Caitlin feared her every secret would be exposed. Then again, she reasoned over the pounding of her heart, the fact that she wanted this man as she had never wanted anyone before him was hardly a secret to anyone. Her own father had most certainly known and, in his own indubitable fashion, had taken extraordinary steps to get his little girl whatever she wanted.
She knew only too well how little effort it would take on her part to get caught up in this fantasy, to embrace it heart and soul. In fact, Caitlin would have loved to request in a sultry, sophisticated voice her desire to be carried off to bed and truly wed. Unfortunately the image of bloodstained sheets and the fear of an inept sexual performance on her part blew away her lovely girlish visions with the force of a chilling Wyoming storm.
In college the boys had called her cold and untouchable. Her throat tightened around the memory of one particularly odious frat rat whom she had spurned. He had retaliated by openly pronouncing Caitlin the campus Queen of Ice. She wore the title with a regal, aloof air that belied her hurt.
She pulled the door shut behind them. “You can put me down. Nobody’s looking now,” she murmured.
Grant looked so disconcerted by the request that Caitlin feared he might just accidentally drop her. But with an aplomb that she was just beginning to expect, he recovered with a charming smile.
“All the better reason not to,” he suggested, tightening his grip.
The touch of teasing in his voice didn’t quite reach those amazing sky blue eyes as they searched hers for some sign of assent. Finding only hesitation, Grant acquiesced with an exasperated sigh.
To her chagrin, Caitlin’s knees buckled the instant he set her down. Feeling suddenly and unaccountably bereft to be standing on her own again, she steadied herself against the solid wall of Grant’s chest, longing to rest there forever.
“What do you want?” she asked, her voice an embarrassingly hoarse croak.
The purely masculine look Grant gave her defied her to hear the truth and not back away from it. Unable to maintain contact with eyes that saw too much, Caitlin demurely diverted her gaze.
“Wait here a minute,” he ordered, leaving the room.
Caitlin’s curiosity was piqued as she heard him shuffling through things in his bedroom. She certainly hoped he wasn’t planning to return with some sexual safeguard that would set her cheeks aflame with embarrassment and force her to hotly reiterate the celibate nature of their arrangement.
Grant reappeared a moment later looking far more cautious than she had ever seen him before.
He thrust a small velvet box at her.
“I want you to have this,” he said in a tone that struck her as oddly defensive.
Opening the case, Caitlin discovered a wedding ring, a modest diamond of quality cut bordered on either side by matching chips. Taking the ring in her fingers, she was surprised to find it warm to the touch. She could almost feel love and trust emanating from the thin gold band.
“It was my mother’s.”
“It’s lovely.” Caitlin was astonished to see his broad shoulders visibly relax.
> “I want you to have it.”
When Caitlin lifted her eyes to meet his directly, Grant found that the tears glistening in their emerald depths rivaled any earthly jewel, making his humble offering pale in comparison.
“I couldn’t possibly accept this. The sentimental value alone—” she began to protest.
“I said I wanted you to have it,” Grant interrupted gruffly. He took the ring from her and slipped it easily upon her finger. “I don’t want anyone questioning the validity of our marriage. Besides, every bride should have a ring—most certainly one as pretty as you.”
Caitlin thought her chest was going to explode. Was it only because she had convinced herself that modern-day chivalry was dead that Grant’s gallantry touched her so deeply? Could it be simple coincidence that this particular ring fit as if it had been made especially for her?
Holding it up to the light, she considered its brilliant reflection. “Even brides in trumped-up kinds of marriages that entrap poor unsuspecting bachelors who let their loyalty get in the way of their good sense?” she asked in a tiny voice.
Tipping her chin up with the pad of his thumb, Grant forced her to look directly into his eyes so there would be no mistaking what he was about to say. “Most especially them, darlin’.”
His kiss was inevitable. Caitlin tilted her head expectantly and allowed her eyelids to drift shut. She felt Grant’s breath, warm and fresh, against her cheek. Slowly he brushed his lips against hers, coaxing them open with expert finesse. His tongue swept inside, plundering the sweetness she had to offer. Waves of liquid heat swept through her, carrying her off to some faraway place where the sensation of Grant’s relentless touch was all that mattered.
The moan of pleasure that met each erotic thrust was almost his undoing.
She tasted of ambrosia, he decided. Pure intoxicating ambrosia.
He kissed her until she went limp in his embrace. Reveling in the power he held over her, Grant dragged his mouth from hers to scatter more kisses upon her eyelids, her cheeks, her temples, her earlobes, her long, slender neck before returning once again to concentrate his efforts on lips swollen and pouty.
As a young girl, Caitlin had dreamed of such kisses, yearning for the kind of spiritual transcendence that would leave her breathless and pliant in the arms of some young god. Abandoning all vestiges of resistance, she opened her heart and soul to this wonderful, confounding man who was her husband. The sense of awe that she experienced at the mating of their tongues sent her spinning out of control. She braced herself by wrapping her arms around the strong column of Grant’s neck. It was a foundation so solid that she marveled that it could truly be made of flesh and bone. She ran her hands across the expanse of his shoulders and back. Clawing at the thin material of his shirt, she sought desperate reassurance that she was not dreaming.
Despite her frenzied attempts to tear the shirt off his back, Grant continued exploring the delicious secrets of her mouth at his leisure. A moan emitted from somewhere deep inside her as tiny pinpricks of pleasure spread across the surface of her skin. The erotic path his kisses took along the line of her long, slender neck raised goosebumps and made her whimper in helplessness.
Grant gave her no time to consider the matter of modesty as he unbuttoned her shirt to hastily expose full breasts spilling over the lacy top of her bra. He paused a moment for worship before capturing them ever so gently in his hands.
“You are so beautiful,” he murmured, bending his head to place a reverent kiss upon each one.
The world bucked wildly beneath Caitlin. The sight of Grant’s dark head nestled between her breasts stirred her to such a fervor that she feared reason would never again return to her. Throwing her head back in silent supplication, she splayed her fingers through the dark thatch of Grant’s hair to hold him captive against her heart. Its wild, savage beat stirred in him a primitive reaction.
“I want you,” he said simply, raising his head to meet her gaze.
Caitlin’s voice was whisper soft. “I want you too.”
Only the bravest of women would not have flinched from the feral flame flickering in those eyes of deepest blue. Rising to his full height, Grant issued a velvet warning. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”
Caitlin felt far from courageous as she paused to consider the gift she was offering him. Presenting her virginity to a man who would undoubtedly be surprised by it would surely complicate the deathbed covenant he had made with her father. She knew enough of Grant’s character to suspect he would feel obligated to her for life. Obligation born out of pity was the last thing Caitlin wanted from this man.
Such a terrible, wonderful thing is pride that it held her head up at the same time it tore her heart in two. Stepping back, she tugged her blouse shut.
“I do mean it, but we shouldn’t forget that…”
She prayed he would not press her for an explanation. Surely he would not force her to admit that somehow mysteriously and against her will and better judgment, she had somehow fallen hopelessly in love with him. Not wanting to offer such a startling admission after rendering her chastity in what may well prove an unsatisfactory performance on her part, she added weakly, “We shouldn’t forget that we have an agreement.”
Swearing softly, Grant looked at her incredulously. Then, as if to rid himself of the intoxicating effect she had upon him, he shook his head.
Twice.
He wasn’t sure what kind of cruel game Caitlin was playing with him, but he doubted she knew how dangerous it was. Few men had the restraint necessary to stop when so obviously aroused. The temptation to take her on the spot was stronger than anything he’d ever felt before in his life. But Grant was gentleman enough to know that when a woman said no, the answer was no.
Even if her body was screaming yes and his was on fire.
Even if the woman was his wife.
It took every ounce of self-control that Grant had to rein in his urge to do what he was longing to do. To make her his in the most elemental fashion.
“Of course. How could I forget our agreement?” he asked with a sneer.
Caitlin felt the lash of his disdain. Unable to defend herself against it, she could not fault his anger. From his perspective, she supposed it might look as if she had purposely led him on. Indeed, rather than stopping his kisses, she had encouraged them. Puffy lips and dazed eyes betrayed her yet. Still aching with desire, her body was a willing accomplice. There was no doubt that physically she wanted him. Insecurity was all that was holding her back. Drawing a hand lightly against his cheek, she tried apologizing in her own fashion with a tender caress.
“Stop it,” Grant commanded, grabbing her by the wrist. “I made a promise to you, and I’ll do everything in my power to keep it, but I’m only human so, darling, unless you’ve changed your mind again, I’d suggest you stop giving me mixed signals before I lose all control and do something we’ll both regret.”
A wave of indecision rocked through Caitlin. She was jealous of the certainty shining in Grant’s eyes. He was a man who knew exactly what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to grab it.
But would he want her permanently? Rather than engaging in some roll in the hay that was certain to leave her feeling empty and used and ever longing for more, in some old-fashioned part of her being, she secretly hoped the consummation of their union could be the beginning of a real marriage. One entered into willingly by both parties instead of being coerced by her father or out of a sense of guilt over “deflowering” her.
“I didn’t mean for… I’m sorry…”
Finding that she could not finish such a lame apology while her body was still tingling from the effects of his hands and lips upon her, Caitlin’s words trailed off. She swallowed hard and tried again.
“Considering how you were forced into this marriage, I could only accept your mother’s ring with the understanding that you’ll get it back when this is over.”
“Keep it,” he growled as he turned on his heels. “I don’t n
eed any more reminders of what a joke marriage is.”
She held out her hands to him and called out his name. But it was too late. Grant was already out the door. Its reverberating slam shook the whole trailer.
Caitlin sank to the floor in a puddle of conflicted emotions. The diamond on her hand sparkled in the harsh light. That it had meant so much to the poor woman who had worn it before her was unbearably tragic. The thin gold band made her long for the kind of powerful commitment that could not be severed by even death. The kind that could not be bought by a deathbed wish of a well-meaning father. Or the wishful thinking of a virginal bride.
Diamonds and tears blurred together, jarring in Caitlin’s memory a time long ago when her mother had caught her rummaging through her jewelry box. Always lenient about indulging her daughter’s penchant for playing dress-up, Laura Leigh had reacted with unusual depth of feeling. In fact, the sight of her wedding ring dangling loosely around her little girl’s finger caused her to weep openly.
Only now could Caitlin begin to understand her mother’s pain as she tested her own tears against the brilliance of a cold, precious stone. There was no comfort in knowing that she was repeating the same melancholy mistake her mother had made. It seemed she was just as frightened, if not more so, of love than Laura Leigh had been. A pattern of broken hearts could well serve as the family coat of arms. Having always prided herself on being her own person, Caitlin resisted the thought that fate controlled her life.
The Cowboy Takes A Bride (The Bridal Bid #2) Page 12
