Lauren did her best not to frown. Devlyn hadn’t strayed from her side for more than two minutes at a time since the accident. At first she was more than happy to have any excuse for Devlyn to have a little down time. Now, however, she was starting to believe that Dev watching over her like a hawk had done nothing more than trade one stress for another. “Okay,” she said slowly, not wanting to hurt Devlyn’s feelings but resolving not to let this issue go another day without discussing it.
Dev brushed her knuckles against the downy-fine hairs on Lauren’s cheek. “How’s your head?”
Lauren’s medical test had revealed a concussion, albeit a mild one. “Mmm.” She stretched a little, tugging the sheet up over her pajama-clad hips. “Sore like the rest of me.” A yawn. “Better though. How about you?”
The smile slid from Dev’s face. “I’m fine, Lauren.” Her voice cooled a little. “Just like I said.”
“I can see that.” Lauren noted the faint but clear lines of exhaustion that still ringed her partner’s eyes. She girded her mental loins. “I won’t ignore what’s staring me in the face forever, honey. We need to talk,” she said, but admitted privately that she didn’t have a clue where to start. “Do you want to tell me about the dreams?” As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt Devlyn stiffen in response.
Without warning, Devlyn threw off her covers and jumped out of bed, her feet slapping loudly against the floor. She stalked towards the bathroom, her anger clear from the set of her shoulders. “Nothing to tell,” she said flatly, not bothering to turn around. “I can’t remember them. I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”
Lauren opened her mouth to say something just as the bathroom door shut. “Dammit,” she grumbled, tossing off the remainder of her own blankets. “Not this time, Devlyn,” she said loud enough so that she was sure her partner could hear her, even over the running water.
But before Lauren could make it to the bathroom, there was a gentle knock on her door. She stopped and stared back to the nightstand, trying to make out the fuzzy numbers on the clock across the room. She cursed again, spying her glasses on the table next to the clock, and rubbed her eyes with irritated fingers.
“It’s me,” a quiet voice said from behind the door.
“And us,” came two more chorusing voices, both a little louder than their sister’s.
Lauren opened the door and looked down at the children. “What are you guys doing up?” she asked softly. The kids were still in their pajamas, though Aaron, for some unknown reason, was only wearing his bottoms, and they were all sporting various stages of bed head. Lauren’s hand went to her own head, knowing she looked the same, but doubting it was as cute on her. “You don’t have to get up today. Your teachers are at a convention. Remember?” She yawned and stepped aside when all three kids plowed past her and crawled into her and Devlyn’s still-warm bed.
“We know,” Ashley said happily. “But we wanted to get an early start on today.” Despite trying not to, she mirrored Lauren’s yawn.
“You do know what today is?” Aaron asked, giggling as he pulled his mother’s pillow from Christopher’s hands and wrapped himself around it. “Hmm?” Expectantly, twinkling blue eyes fastened on Lauren.
“Gee, I don’t know,” she drew out the words playfully, waiting until all three children were moaning and whining before she gave in. “Ahh… yes,” she finally said. “I seem to remember…” She tapped her chin with one finger. “…Something.”
“Mama!” Ashley cried, very aware she was being teased, but unable to withstand it for another second.
Lauren grinned broadly, as much at the endearment that still sounded new and exciting as the teasing. “I remember, evil ones. We’re off to the shopping center.” The rare trip to such a public place with the children had been planned for weeks, and Lauren hadn’t seen them as excited about anything since Disney World.
Ashley licked her lips nervously, her eyes trained on the stark white bandage that still covered Lauren’s forehead. Her voice took on a fearful edge. “Can you still go?”
Christopher, who was propped up with Lauren’s pillow and was lying with his head on the foot of the bed, sat up a little as he anxiously awaited Lauren’s answer.
Most of her mind still on Devlyn, Lauren walked over to the bed and sloppily crawled over Ashley to plop down between her and Aaron. “I don’t see why not. But um… I’m still a little sore, so we might have to take a rest at… oh, McDonalds or someplace after a couple of hours.” Another excursion that was rare in the extreme for the children and had required more planning than Lauren had dreamed possible for such a mundane task. “Sound good?” She prepared herself for the explosion she knew would come.
“Yeah!” they all cheered and Lauren closed her eyes and covered her ears in a vain attempt to keep their joint cry from rattling her brains.
The bathroom door opened and Devlyn reentered the room, her face glowing and pink from being freshly scrubbed, her toothbrush still dangling loosely from one hand. “What’s all the noise about?” She looked at the clock, then arched an eyebrow at her offspring. “And why aren’t you getting ready for school?”
“No school today, Mom,” Chris said.
“Today’s the day I get my ears pierced,” Ashley informed her. The girl was bubbling with excitement.
“And Toys-R-Us and McDonald’s,” Aaron added, laughing as Lauren reached down and tickled his exposed belly.
“Ahh… Right. The teachers’ convention.” Dev trained her eyes on her daughter. “Are you still sure about the ear thing, Ash? It’s gonna hurt.”
Warily, Ashley glanced at Lauren, who nodded her agreement. “You know how I feel about needles, kiddo. I was too chicken to get mine done until college.” She shot Devlyn a warning look when she heard the taller woman snicker. Ashley had been spared the version of the story that included Lauren having the procedure done in her friend’s bathroom after consuming more than her share of liquid courage and passing out in the tub after the first prick.
Ashley swallowed hard, and both women could see the wheels in her mind turning. But the girl’s voice didn’t waver when she spoke. “I’m sure I’m ready, Mom. I’ll be brave.”
Dev nodded. “All right then.” In truth she thought Ashley should wait a few years, but the little girl had been working them both over hard to get her way on this and her persistence had actually paid off. Ashley had even successfully talked the biographer into calling her teacher to confirm that all the other girls were doing it. The argument was still weak at best, but during a late night conversation between just the two of them, Lauren had mentioned that she thought Ashley was already struggling to fit in and that keeping her from doing the typical things other girls her age were doing only served to make her stand out even more.
It was the first time that Lauren had ventured into parental decision-making and she had been so hesitant and unsure of herself that it made Dev’s heart clench just remembering. It had been a big step for the younger woman, and so, hesitantly, Devlyn had allowed herself to be persuaded. Now, as she watched her daughter’s dark eyes dancing with happiness, she couldn’t help but feel better about her choice. “I think I’ll come with you guys today,” she announced, surprising everyone in the room.
Ashley and her brothers exchanged confused, then worried glances.
“It’s not Sunday,” Ashley reminded her mom.
Dev scowled. “I know. But I’m going to stay home today in case Lauren needs me.”
“That’s okay,” Aaron said quickly. “You don’t need to go, Mom.”
“Yeah,” Ashley agreed, both she and Christopher nodding. “You have to work.”
Stunned, Devlyn could only stare at her children, blinking slowly. “What’s going on?”
Lauren could hardly believe her ears.
“Well, we know how busy you are, Mom,” Ashley tried again.
“You don’t want me to come?” Dev finally asked, feeling stupid that the answer suddenly mattered more than she could
say.
Sensing impending disaster, Lauren sat up. “Devlyn—”
Dev held up a forestalling hand. “I want them to answer.” She turned intent eyes on her children, who instantly began to squirm under her stare. “Well?”
“You have to work,” Christopher answered bravely. “That’s okay. We want Lauren to take us. We can count on her.”
“Chris!” Lauren turned disbelieving eyes on the middle child.
“Don’t worry, Mom, we won’t be gone forever. We’ll make it up to you,” Ashley soothed, the familiar words reaching out and slapping Devlyn harder than any blow she could imagine.
Dev’s jaw worked for a few painfully silent seconds.
Lauren could see Dev’s white-knuckled grip on her toothbrush and swallowed hard. “I don’t think they meant it the way it sounded, Devlyn.”
“I think they meant it just like it sounded,” Dev finally murmured, reaching up and rubbing the bridge of her nose with one hand. Then, without a word, she turned on her heels and marched back into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
The children shared uncomfortable looks as Lauren ran an agitated hand through her hair.
“What was that?” Lauren demanded, knowing how badly Devlyn’s feelings had just been hurt. “You beg her to spend time with you every single day and then when she offers you tell her no thanks?”
“We do want to spend time with Mom,” Ashley explained reasonably, her face and voice so earnest that Lauren believed her at once. “But we want to go to the mall today. We’ve been waiting for weeks.” She began gesturing with her hands, fearing that their trip would now be cancelled because they’d done something wrong. “We don’t want to wait anymore.”
“Yeah,” Christopher said. “And if Mom says she’ll come with us then we’ll never go today.”
“She’s busy,” Aaron said simply, moving out of his brother’s reach as the older boy tried to steal the pillow back. He didn’t understand why Lauren looked so upset. “Mom has to work,” he repeated as though it was totally obvious.
Lauren covered her eyes with one hand and let out an explosive sigh. Shit.
“Is Mom mad?”
“No, honey,” Lauren advised her. “But I think you guys hurt her feelings pretty badly.”
Chris gulped, his blue eyes round. “We did?”
Lauren nodded. “I’m afraid so, sugar. It’s not often she offers to do something with you. And I don’t think it felt very good when you all shot her down.”
Ashley sucked her bottom lip into her mouth as her guilt-filled gaze drifted towards the bathroom door. “Will you tell her she can come if she wants?” She frowned unable to muster much enthusiasm for this last part. “It’s okay if she has to cancel.”
Christopher nodded quickly. “Yeah, it’s okay. Will you fix it? We don’t want Mom to feel bad.”
Aaron, feeding off his brother’s worried tone of voice, whimpered. “We didn’t mean to be bad, but I don’t want her to cancel!”
“Shhh... It’s okay,” she assured them kindly. “You guys weren’t bad.” She tried to kick her brain into mom mode, which was a little difficult considering she couldn’t blame them for their reaction. “But… um… just try to think of other people’s feelings before you speak, okay?” She looked at them expectantly, hoping that bit of advice sounded reasonable.
Her words were met with three instant, eager nods.
Lauren smiled, a little proud of herself. “Okay then.” She gently patted Christopher’s leg, his flannel pants feeling soft against her palm. “We can tell your mom—”
There was another knock at the bedroom door and Jane’s voice that interrupted them. “Does anyone want breakfast?”
“Me!” the kids answered, scrambling off the bed and heading for the door, more than happy to have an excuse to hide out in the other room. When they opened it and darted out, their nanny, Emma, who was clad in her bathrobe and pink fuzzy slippers, reluctantly poked her head into the bedroom. “I’m sorry they disturbed you.” She grimaced a little. “Last night, I told them to wait until you were awake before barging in on you and Dev.”
Lauren wrapped her arms around her up-drawn knees, and then made a dismissive gesture. “That’s okay. We were already awake.” She heard the shower and bathroom flare to life. “The kids are just excited.”
Emma laughed, the movement causing her large bosoms to jiggle merrily. “That’s an understatement. Will you and Dev be joining the children for breakfast?”
Lauren tore her eyes away from the bathroom door. “Hmm?”
The older woman’s heavy eyebrows drew together with just a touch of worry. Lauren seemed a little out of sorts. And after the trials of the past few days, that was saying something. “Breakfast?”
Lauren shook her head. “No, thank you, Emma.”
Emma nodded and began to withdraw.
“Wait, Emma.” Lauren got out of bed and went to the door. “Could we get a pot of coffee?” She chewed her bottom lip for a moment. “And could you keep the kids out of here until it’s time for us to go? Our agents should be here by 9.” She paused. “I… umm… I need some time alone with Devlyn first.”
“Of course.” Normally, Emma would tease the newlyweds over a request like that, but something told her that wouldn’t be a good idea this morning.
“No phone calls or interruptions unless it’s an emergency, Emma.”
The matronly woman didn’t know what was going on, but doing what came naturally rarely failed her. She walked over to the bed and leaned over to pull Lauren into a gentle hug, feeling the other woman relax into the calming embrace and then, after a few seconds, return it fully. “Whatever it is you’re going to do, good luck.”
Lauren closed her eyes, soaking in the rare moment of maternal or, more precisely, grandmotherly comfort. Anna Strayer, Lauren’s mother, rarely had had an appetite. And the infrequent hugs she and her daughter shared unerringly made Lauren think of what it must be like to wrap your arms around a walking skeleton. Despite being short in stature, Emma had a bulky, dependable presence that was so much easier to sink into. It surrounded Lauren, making her feel safe and boosting her confidence. “Thanks, Emma. This is something I can’t afford to screw up.”
* * *
Still towel-drying her dark hair, Devlyn emerged from the bathroom wearing a thick white robe with the Presidential Seal emblazoned across her right breast.
Lauren was dressed in a well-worn pair of jeans and a soft, red denim shirt. Her socked feet dangled off the end of the tall bed, as she sat waiting and fiddling nervously with the glasses in her hand.
Dev took in Lauren’s outfit. “That’s cute,” she commented neutrally as she headed towards her dresser.
Lauren smiled, but she was too worried for the gesture to reach her eyes. “Thanks.”
Dev let the robe fall to the floor and tugged out a pair of socks, panties and gray sweat pants. She turned slightly as she began to dress and Lauren’s eyes swept over her nude body, lingering on the scars that marred the pale skin of Devlyn’s hip and shoulder.
The blonde drew in a deep breath and padded the few steps to the dresser and her wife. She moved behind Dev and laid her cheek between broad shoulders, and she reached out and traced the scar with sensitive fingertips, only to have her hand pushed away as Dev pulled up her underwear, then sweats. “It took a long time, but they’re all healed,” Lauren began, hoping that pushing Devlyn wasn’t the wrong move all together.
Devlyn’s body stiffened, but after a few seconds she reached down and squeezed Lauren’s hand. She already knew where this conversation was going, and she steeled herself. “We’re going to have the talk I kept putting off while you were in the hospital, aren’t we?” Dev pulled away a little to pick up her robe and drape it over a nearby chair.
Lauren nodded. “I think we should.” She reached out, silently asking for Devlyn’s hand.
Troubled blue eyes glanced at her for reassurance.
“Please,” Lauren
said, knowing that Devlyn wouldn’t refuse her.
Dev’s eyes darted down to her own naked chest. “I need—?”
“No, you don’t, honey.”
“But—”
“I know you feel vulnerable right now. But it’ll be okay.”
Dev’s eyes widened a little as the remark hit home.
Lauren stepped closer, her hand still outstretched, her head cocked invitingly. “Maybe vulnerable is good. I need every advantage when it comes to you.”
Dev reluctantly took Lauren’s hand and felt an instant squeeze as her reward. “I already feel like I’m walking around without my skin. Trust me, you don’t need any more advantage.”
“Do you really think you need to be perfect with me? You’ve seen me at my lowest and my worst and you love me anyway.”
“Damn straight I do.”
Lauren smiled fondly. “Why should it be any different for you?”
“I umm…” Dev looked away, the image of how she’d handled the stresses of late at odds with the image she had of herself. “I just thought you might be getting a little sick of seeing me so….God, I don’t know.” She rolled her eyes at herself. “Weak. Indecisive.”
The younger woman’s forehead puckered. “I know I didn’t have a good marriage with Judd, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what one is. If I had wanted to go it alone, I wouldn’t have proposed in the first place. We’re a team and when one member gets a little tired, the other just works a little harder to pick up the slack, right?”
Charmed, regardless of the sick, niggling feeling in the pit of her stomach, Devlyn managed a smile. “Yeah,” she said softly.
“So c’mere.” Lauren gave Dev’s hand a gentle tug and their arms wrapped around each other in a heartfelt hug.
First Lady Page 34
