Neither did I. If I left, where would I even go? I had no money. No trade skills. I could fight. Maybe I could become a private tutor for some rich family.
"But what I do know,” Aster continued, “Is I’d go with you if you wanted me to."
"I would never ask you to do that."
"You wouldn’t have to ask." He kissed the top of my head. I didn't know if his words were sincere, or if he just wanted to make me feel better. Still, he was sweet all the same.
"Thank you."
"I'm the last person you should be thanking. Most of this is all my fault. If I hadn't of come—”
"That is true,” I said, interrupting him. “I suppose you have to make it up to me."
"You weren't supposed to agree with me..." he mumbled. "But anyway, should we head back, or would you like to stay at an inn?"
"No, let's just go back. It would only cause more problems if we disappeared for a whole night." We sat there in silence trying to stay warm. We couldn't immediately go back, but we didn't want to stay out here forever. Finally, after enough shivering, we had enough.
"Let's go. It's freezing out here." Aster suggested.
We stood up and headed back to my small home, where I was no longer welcome. I wasn't sure what to do from here. We had been out here for hours waiting to go back, but what would I face when I returned? We came out of the woods and all the lights in the house were out. All that was left was the fire burning bright. We walked inside and took off our boots. We went to my room. I took off my outer layer clothes and got under the warm coverings on my bed. Aster laid on the floor.
"Come up here,” I said.
“It would be smarter if I just slept on the floor.” He said.
I left the conversation alone and tried to close my eyes. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to sleep, but I had to try. I might have a long journey ahead of me soon. Who knows when that might start?
I awoke the next morning to a sore body. Fighting with my father must have done more damage than I thought. I groaned as I sat up. I looked to the floor and Aster was still out. I tried my best not to wake him as I dressed for the day. I walked out of my room as quietly as I could and went to the front door and put my boots on. I was going to run to town to get something to eat so I wouldn't have to eat here.
The less I saw of my family, the better. I stepped outside to snowfall and started my trek towards town. I would have awoken Aster, but I wanted some time to myself. I'd bring him back a loaf of bread.
I made it into town after a half hour walk and noticed something strange. Nobody greeted me. Everyone just looked at me. My only guess was Raina had spread the rumors about Aster and me. I kept my head low and tried to avoid everyone’s gaze. I went into the bakery and tried to order some bread.
"Two fresh loaves, please."
"I'm sorry, Noah. We are all out." I looked to the window and could see the steam from the ones in the window. I shook my head and took the hint. I tried the inn to see what they were serving. I walked inside and nothing was different.
No one would come near me, until finally, the single barmaid in town walked up to me. "Noah. You should go. You won't find peace here."
Everything had been flipped on me. Knowing that being here was pointless, I walked back to my home. Ian was outside swinging his sword and pacing. I couldn't blame him. I wasn't so sure I’d take the news as well as him.
"Morning, Ian," I said as I walked passed.
"Wait, Noah."
I stopped but didn't look back.
"About yesterday..."
I turned to face him. "What about it?"
He let out a deep breath. "Have you thought about what I said?"
He wasn’t going to apologize, he just wanted to know when I was leaving.
"I have."
"And?"
"I will be leaving soon. Happy?"
"Of course not but—"
"Leave me alone, Ian. I'm going to do as you asked."
"I will do no such thing. If anything, you owe me answers. Not the other way around."
"What do you want to know?" I asked, louder than necessary.
"An explanation for one."
"I tried yesterday but you wouldn't listen."
"Would you?"
"Piss off, Ian." I turned but he grabbed my arm.
I shrugged him off. "Don't touch me again."
"Or what?"
"Or I'll put you in the ground." I stated.
He pushed me and I drew my sword. "This isn't the time for this, Ian. I am warning you."
"Let's make a bet, shall we? You win, I forget last night happened. I win, then you leave without saying a word. Deal?"
I looked around. Maybe this was the best way. Even if I won, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be welcome back here. I took off my cloak and rotated my arms and shook out my legs. "I accept."
He removed his cloak as well and we circled one another. This time I had to be patient. He came at me swinging, and I easily dodged. He left himself wide open to a counter attack. Is that what he wanted? For me to come inside his guard? I took a step closer to see what he would do, and he swung down, trying to cut me in half. It was what he was planning. I backed up in time and countered, I hit his blade so hard he had to take two steps back.
"Maybe you have gotten better." Ian said.
I didn't reply. I just kept moving. Our swords clashed again at mid body as we pushed off one another. I came up on his left, trying to take advantage of his awkward posture.
"Then again, maybe you haven't." Ian taunted.
He came to swing overhead, but I was waiting for it. I went down to my knee and spun, putting my blade to his throat.
I won. I was breathing hard as he sheathed his sword.
"You haven't killed me yet. I think it’s time for Father to know." Ian said avoiding the tip of my sword.
"Like I would let you do that." I stood and kicked his legs out from underneath him. I mounted him and he punched me in the face. He split my stitches and blood ran down my face. I trapped his arm and punched him back. Again, and again, I connected. His eye was starting to look like mine, swollen and bloodied. "Are you finished?"
"Never. You stole that spot. It could have been mine. Instead, it was wasted on you. A liar." Ian said as blood ran into his mouth.
I punched him again as I sent blood into the snow.
"Come on!" he screamed, and I hit him again as tears streamed down my face. "Use your magic, Noah! Come on. End me. Show us all the power of a seven!"
I hit him again and he finally shut up. I got off him and stared at my bruised knuckles. What had I done? Ian turned over, choking on his own blood.
“Why… you just let me do that. Why didn’t you defend yourself?”
Ian stood up and spit blood at my feet in response.
"I'm sorry, Ian. I lost control."
He ignored me and walked inside.
Father came out, looking confused. "What happened out here?"
"We fought and he lost." I sheathed my sword.
"Well, congratulations, I suppose."
I turned to walk towards the barn.
"Noah. Wait." Father said.
I looked at him.
"I'm sorry about what I did. I just don't understand." I picked up my cloak and wiped my knuckles off on the black material.
“I know. I doubt you ever will. We all have secrets, don't we? Sides to the story nobody ever sees."
Father frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm not even sure I know anymore. Leave me alone." I swung the cloak around my shoulders still stained with blood.
"Noah!” he screamed. “I'm trying to fix this!"
"Fix it? If you want to fix it, let me be who I am!" I took a step towards him.
"You know you can't do that with him,” he muttered.
“I wasn't talking about Aster. I was talking about me. I’m so sick of this secret. It’s brought me nothing but pain.” I turned my back to him. “Forget it, you wo
n’t ever understand.”
"Then help me." He whipped me around. He had a frown on his face. His eyes were searching mine for any type of answer. But he wouldn’t find it there. Maybe he really was trying to make amends.
"I'm a..." I tried to finish my sentence, but my thoughts flashed to Ian and how he’d taken the news I was a girl. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't tell him the truth.
"You’re a what?"
"Seven. Some things are better left a secret."
My father stood there in silence. I was changing. Not only from school, but from my experiences. I saw firsthand what my closest family member would do once they knew the truth. Imagine if Gabriel or Lucius found out. Our entire lives would be turned upside down and I couldn't be responsible for that. My father sighed deeply and walked away without saying a word.
* * *
Three days passed and nothing was resolved. Soon, Aster and I would be traveling back to the school, and I wasn't excited.
“I think we should leave today.” I told my mother as I threw some belongings in my bag. Aster was sitting on my bed next to my bag with my mother at the door.
“I don’t think you should, love. I know it has been hard for you but leaving now wouldn’t solve anything.”
“Me staying isn’t helping my cause at all either.” I paused and looked to her. “So what do you want me to do? Everyone else is telling me how to live, throw in your two coppers.”
“That’s not fair…” My mother came over and embraced me. “I’m sorry for everything. I truly am. But please stay. It’s only one more day.”
I backed away and nodded in agreement. Besides, there was still ends I needed to tie up before I left. I finished up packing so we could leave at first light. Aster remained in my room as I sought out Ian so I could have one more final talk with him.
He was outside moving supplies into my father's wagon. I walked up to him but he just continued moving boxes from the ground to the cart.
"Ian, can I talk to you?"
"What about?" He slammed down a box and paused to look at me.
"I think we both know the answer to that."
"I don't know the answers to anything lately." He stated.
"That’s not fair, Ian."
"Seems fair to me." He turned away.
I grabbed his arm to face him towards me.
"Ian, I need to know you aren't going to tell Father."
"You won our bet. I won't tell him." He shrugged off my arm and started working again. "Is that all you wanted? I need to finish loading these goods by afternoon."
"No, that’s not it! Ian, talk to me. Am I so revolting that you would turn your back on me?"
"These days... Yes." I stumbled backwards. I clutched my chest as his words pierced my heart.
“I don't know how to respond to that.” I wiped a tear that fell down my face. “I should have just left.” I walked towards the door only to find Aster coming outside with his mouth wide open.
I ran up to him. "What's wrong?”
"We should leave. Just come with me." He tried to grab my arm.
"What's happened?" I pushed past him and walked inside to find my mother crying at the table. All my brothers were looking at me with wide eyes. All except for Lucius. He just stood there smiling.
What had Ian done?
My father stood there with his sword drawn.
Ian came in behind me and whispered in my ear. "I promised I wouldn’t tell Father. I never said anything about anyone else.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Forbidden
"Why do you have your sword drawn?" I asked.
My father looked down like he didn’t recognize his own sword. He was in shock.
"What have you done, Ian?" I whispered.
"How about what you have done, Noah?" My father leaned against a chair for support. “Don’t you realize you could have killed us all? Do you know how serious this is? The crown will have your head, and there's nothing I can do to stop it."
I ran up to him and got on my knees. More tears fell down my face. "Papa, I can fix this."
"No, you can’t! Boys go pack. We have to leave."
They all separated and left.
"As for you." He pointed to Aster. "You will leave tomorrow as planned, but you’re going back alone." He set his sword against the wall and stared down at my mother. "How could you?"
She started to cry.
I stood up to take his attention off her. "It's not her fault."
Aster grabbed my arm to prevent me from going any farther.
"Not her fault?” Father asked. “She lied to me, to all of us for eighteen years."
"So, you wouldn't be disappointed!" I screamed trying to get face to face with him.
"How could she have known that? I would have loved you all the same!" My father screamed back. He took a step back, trying to control his anger.
"Tell me, Father, do you love me now? Now that I am our family's shame?"
He stood there, unmoving.
"You think I haven't sacrificed?” I continued through tears. “That I haven't hurt? That Mother hasn't?"
"That has nothing to do with this.” My father cut the air with his hand. “This is about a lie. Not some petty pain. You claimed to be a seven, Noah. We all claimed you as such and now we will die for it. I won't let that happen to our family. You will not be returning to that school. You are coming with us."
"Like hell I am."
He reclaimed the ground he backed away from. But this time he approached with clenched fists. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. I'm finishing school. I'm number one and I already have a sponsorship. I'm sure they will understand!"
"No, they won't!" he screamed. Absolute silence filled the room. "I have killed sevens for this, Noah. And their families. That’s how important they are to the kingdom. You are nothing now."
I am nothing.
My own father thought I was worthless.
I wrapped my arms around myself. "Then I shall die as nothing. I'm not going anywhere with you."
My father stepped up and slapped me across the face.
Aster’s magic flared into action, pushing my father back. "You will not touch her again," he stated with his hand pointed at my father.
My father tried to push against his magic, but it was useless. Aster was too strong. The wind inside was creating havoc with all our paintings and loose parchments.
I placed my hand on Aster’s. "It's okay,” I told him. "Calm."
The winds slowly died down but Aster didn't remove his gaze from my father.
"You are coming with us, Noah. I will not leave you here to die." My father said.
"I'm not going to. I can do this." I said firmly.
"You can't, dammit!"
Maybe he was right. Maybe I couldn't. I wasn't even sure why I wanted this so bad. But if I left now, I would be running from everything I accomplished. I was number one. I beat Tye. I knew I wasn't a mistake. I turned and walked towards the door.
"I don't need to tell you what happens if you leave." My father warned.
"I die." I took a deep breath. Saying it out loud was even frightening.
"That… And you are no longer a part of this family. As things are, we can get through this. Boy or not, you are my blood.” Father said.
“Why don't you want me to succeed?" I asked.
"I do, child. But not like this." Father’s voice waivered.
"Your father is right." My mother sat up straighter in her chair. "I'm not sure what I thought would come of keeping this secret for so long. But this… All of this, is finished." She looked around our home. "I brought this upon us. Stay, Noah."
"I'm with you. It’s whatever you choose." Aster said.
I took Aster’s hand and kissed it. He seemed to be the only one who would support me no matter what, and I needed that.
"Tell me, Father, why did you have your sword drawn?" I asked walking over to my father. I already knew the answer, but I wanted to hea
r him say it.
"I was going to kill Aster. I was going to kill him so he couldn't tell anyone your secret."
I stepped between Aster and my father. My hands went behind my back and I squeezed Aster’s tunic. I had to make sure he was still there. The threat of my father killing him was still a very real possibility.
"Know that I will always love you all. Even you, Papa. But I am a seven. Goodbye."
"Don't!" My father screamed as I dragged Aster out with me. I stepped into the snow and paused. I was now a woman without a family. I had nowhere to go. I had to stay strong. I continued walking until we got to town and called a carriage. I didn't care what anyone thought, I was a seven and I was going to prove it. They would see. They would come back to me.
"Are you sure about this?" Aster asked as I started walking again.
"Absolutely not. But I won't run."
"I wouldn't blame you if you did. It’s the smart move." He stopped me in my tracks. "I know how strong you are, Noah. You have nothing to prove anymore. Look how far you have come."
"Not far enough." I placed my hands on his face. "Aster, I'm pretty sure I love you. Not to surprise you or anything. But I need to do this, and I want you next to me."
He placed his forehead on mine and smiled. His knuckles caressed my cheek send a brief sensation of warmth swept through my face. That what Aster was to me. Warmth. He kissed me, pulling me in close to him. He pulled away and looked me in the eyes.
"Then that’s where I shall be."
I embraced him and felt his warmth all over again. We could do this. I could do this. We pulled apart and continued walking.
"You know if I die because of you, I'm going to be very upset." Aster tried to lighten the mood.
"I wouldn't expect anything less." I walked closer to him.
We walked deeper into town and looked for an open carriage. We sat down at the town center for hours waiting for some type of way back to the castle, but the roads were dead due to the snow.
"I guess we wait till tomorrow?" Aster finally said.
"I don't see another choice."
We stood up and went to the inn. Gazes swept toward me, putting me on edge. Their expressions held a warning that let me know I wasn’t welcome. The same barmaid walked up to me from before.
The Prisoner of Fate Page 15
