Now that was a graduation party.
“My parents are coming in to town.” Why did everything have to happen at once? “I won’t be able to leave until Friday. Will that still work?”
“Like we’d leave without you.” I jumped at the sound of Devon’s voice. “And I think going to graduation is perfect. Especially for all those people who told you that you were wasting your time with us.”
Everyone grumbled, mostly things like ‘fuckers’ and ‘assholes.’
“We should hand out free downloads at Abby’s graduation,” Devon continued. “Let them all know she made this possible, so they can be as proud of her as we are.”
“Who’s this?” My mom’s discomfort being in New Orleans was tangible as she stood in the post-graduation crowd waiting for me to finish hugging classmates. Since I started college, I’d only seen my mom at Christmas, and always on her turf. She hadn’t been thrilled to hear that I could only meet with her and Dad for dinner because we were leaving for Oklahoma the next day. It bummed me out, I wanted to see them, but at least now they could see working with the band was a real job. And I wasn’t totally leaving them in the dust. They still had Mallory.
“This is Eli.” We’d approached her holding hands, with Devon and the rest of the band in tow. She wasn’t the only one who did a double take. Everyone in my classes had heard all about Sinister Riot, and Devon. Eli stepped forward, shook her hand, and did all the proper boyfriend things.
“We were going to take you and uh, a friend, to dinner.” Mom’s eyes darted to Devon and then quickly back to Eli. “But we can’t take all of them.”
“The guys actually have to go back to pack things up for the show.” Thank God for good timing. “So it’s just us.”
We picked a restaurant near the river, one of my mom’s old favorites. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her until I saw her here, and it felt like nothing had ever changed, until we both ordered Hurricanes.
“That’s the same Eli from the reality show?” Dad asked as my mom took her first sip of Hurricane and sighed happily. I nodded, we’d never talked about anything like this before and I was nervous. I had no idea what they would think. I mean, Dad watched The Spotlight? From the reaction, I don’t think Mallory had briefed them. Devon had come with me to Chicago the last few Christmases, and I never really explained that fully, either. “I didn’t realize he was from New Orleans.”
“He’s not, he was part of the record deal.” I realized how strange that would sound to someone who wasn’t part of the negotiations. “The record company wanted Sinister Riot, but they thought that Eli’s guitar playing would make the band stronger, so now Eli is in the band.”
“When did you break up with Devon?” Mom cut to the chase of what Dad was actually trying to get at, and I choked on my drink. After I recovered, she continued. “He seems to be taking it pretty well. But I always expect you to show up for Christmas with a ring on your finger.”
“Adjective,” Devon called out from the back of the van. He’d brought a ton of stuff to keep us all entertained with for the ride to Oklahoma, but he’d saved the best for last: Mad Libs. We’d only road tripped once before together, to Houston to see KISS play, and that time, he’d insisted that we paint our faces like Gene and Paul for the ride. Imagine explaining that when we stopped for gas in the middle of bayou country.
“Vulgar,” Eli answered. Everyone was getting along so far on our adventure, after Devon gave Eli the obligatory stare down when he sat next to me in the middle seat. I put a quick stop to that with a glare of my own, and ever since everyone was on their best behavior. I didn’t need them using their instruments as weapons on stage.
“Female name.”
“Abby!” Frankie yelled from the driver’s seat. The rest of the band whooped in agreement. My cheeks burned, I had no idea if this was one of Devon’s dirty Mad Lib books, but we were certainly about to find out. There was enough speculation about me on this road trip already.
We had three hotel rooms. There were six of us. We needed to double bunk. I choked on my own breath every time I thought about it. Every time the van fell silent, I fought the urge to bring attention to it, and ask what the hell we were going to do. Of course, everyone in the band knew that Eli and I were a couple, and it was probably assumed we’d room together.
It was all the other assumptions that came along with our room assignments that terrified me.
“Name of place.”
“Come on, Dev.” I’d just been about to blurt out my answer when Mo groaned, he was usually the first to tire of Devon’s enthusiasm for things like this. “This is starting to feel like a test. No one wants to take a test.”
“That’s cool.” Devon took it in stride.
“New York City,” I whispered to him before he put on his headphones. Devon winked and scribbled in the book. Eli turned toward the window. I wasn’t sure if he shook his head or not.
“Holy shit, you guys.” Frankie whistled low. “This is a party.”
The tiny town that hosted Rocklahoma was overwhelmed in the best possible way. Guys with long hair pulled coolers down the side of the road, accompanied by girls in tiny shorts and cut-up T-shirts. Music that sounded similar to what we’d been listening to blared from the cars we drove by. The party spilled into the parking lot of our hotel, and Frankie pulled into the last empty space.
“The rooms are in my name.” I unbuckled my seatbelt and slid the van door open. “I’ll go get the keys.”
Eli caught the door before I closed it. “I’ll come with you.”
I gulped and nodded. With him next to me, I could barely pull my ID or the confirmation paperwork out of my bag. Eli didn’t notice; he’d been distracted by a couple of fans of The Spotlight who were very happy to have a sighting. So on top of everything else, I watched my boyfriend take pictures, sign autographs, and hug girls he’d never met before, because everything about being here was so normal to begin with.
It was surreal. This is what we’d all worked so hard for, and to see it in action, it was like it was happening to someone I didn’t know.
“They’re going to come early and catch the show.” Eli slid the keys off the counter while I shoved everything back into my purse.
“What?” I was so rattled that I lost all the control of the situation.
“Those girls.” Eli frowned. After all, I’d just watched the whole thing happen. “I told them about Sinister Riot, made sure they had the website address so they can hear the new songs.”
“Oh. Awesome.” I followed him back out into the parking lot. The other guys had gotten out of the van, and had already made friends. “I could have done that.”
“Why? You were busy.” Eli laced his fingers through mine, and stopped in the middle of the lot. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” No. “Just tired, that’s all.”
“It’s not like anything important has happened in the last twenty-four hours or anything.” He smirked, and his fingers brought my chin up to meet his eyes. “We’ll just relax tonight, how does that sound?”
Utterly fucking terrifying. “Great.” I smiled, then pulled him back toward the guys.
Two girls who looked like Lexi knock-offs flanked Devon. Apparently he had some sort of tramp radar, and Frankie was already drinking out of bottle in a paper bag. Mo and Caleb were talking to some guys about what sounded like music stuff.
Only Devon noticed we’d returned. He pushed himself away from the van. “Who’s rooming with who?” he asked loudly, getting everyone’s attention.
Mo put his hands up in surrender. “I take Caleb,” he announced. “I’m too old for all your crazy shit.”
“You live in the party house.” I reminded him. “You have taps in your kitchen.”
“These two?” Mo motioned to Frankie and Devon. “And all of this?” He swept his hand across the parking lot. “No way. Out of my league, ladies and gentlemen. I’m tapping out early.”
“You and me, man?” Frankie raised his free han
d to high-five Devon. Devon smacked his hand without any hesitation. “This is going to be fucking epic.”
Eli had gone around to the back of the van and retrieved my overnight bag, and already had it over his shoulder, paying no mind to how pink, sparkly, and leopard print it was. He hoisted his guitar case on the same shoulder, and then rolled his suitcase behind him. We didn’t have to bring much equipment with us, just guitars, microphones, and drum accessories. The festival didn’t have enough time for a full set change.
Devon’s eyes were glued to the pink bag. Even though it was ninety degrees with an equal amount of humidity, I shivered.
“I can take that.” I needed to do something other than watch Devon’s glare turn incendiary before he put his arm around one of the Lexi clones, and turned his back to me. Eli didn’t even hear me; he was already unlocking our hotel room door.
“It’s time to celebrate.” Eli crawled next to me, I’d collapsed on one of the two beds in the room, emotion getting the best of me. My shirt rode up when I’d landed, and Eli’s fingers drew circles around my belly button.
“Oh yeah?” I propped myself up my elbows. “What are you thinking?”
I tried to remember to breathe.
Eli held up his other hand, the top of a bottle stuck out of a paper bag.
“Who do you think you are, Frankie?” I sat up, trying pry the bag from his hand, but he kept moving it just out of my reach. I followed his body, and after a few failed attempts, I wound up on top of him. “What is that?”
Still holding the mystery bag away over his head, he wrapped his free hand around my back and kissed me. If I hadn’t already been having trouble with the breathing thing, I certainly was now. I’d almost forgotten all about the damn bag when he lowered it between us.
I pulled out a bottle of Jim Beam Devil’s Cut Bourbon. “Nice.”
“An occasion like this calls for the best.”
“Damn straight.” I rolled back on my knees, smoothing my shirt back down to where it belonged. I left Eli, rumpled as the comforter, lying on the bed almost like he’d surrendered. “What are we mixing with this?”
“Shit.” He sat up. “I can go get soda out of the vending machine.”
I twisted off the cap and raised the bottle to my lips. “No worries.” I knocked back way too much. The spice burned my throat, but I kept my cool and smiled when Eli’s eyes grew huge.
That fuzzy calm already greeted me, just what I hoped for. I took another sip, much smaller this time. My brain slowed down to the point where I couldn’t focus on anything but what was happening in this room right now.
Thank God.
“You can handle that?” Eli took the bottle away from me but didn’t drink. He looked back and forth from the bottle to me.
“Can’t you?” I took it back from him and laughed. “I’m a professional.”
“How so?”
Another sip. “I graduated from college yesterday. This is what we do.” I smiled, warm and loose all over.
Eli grabbed the bottle, took a sip, and winced, topped off by a whole body shudder. Wimp. “I play guitar in a rock band.”
“So?”
“I’m a professional, too,” he said, like it should have been obvious.
I crawled back to him, kissing the taste of the bourbon off of him before I stole the bottle back. “You’re a boy scout.”
Eli grinned, but looked away from me. He had nothing. “How do you know I didn’t earn a badge in drinking?”
I rolled my eyes. “Because that’s something frat boys do.”
He shrugged. “There’s something else I like to think I’m good at.”
“What’s that?” I asked, my face still so close to his.
Eli took the bottle away from me one more time, this time placing it on the nightstand. He turned back to me, his eyes falling from my face down to my body, smiling when he met my eyes again. My heart skipped a couple of beats before he put one finger under my chin to kiss me, as hot and slow as the heat of the bourbon.
My brain might have been hitting all the panic buttons, but my body wasn’t listening to that nonsense anymore. I tangled my hands in his hair, pulling him in closer to me. Eli leaned against my forehead, his smile on my lips. His chest rose high, and I let one hand fall over his heart.
I didn’t think it was possible that it could be beating as hard as mine. But it was.
Someone banged on the door. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Eli muttered, then sat up enough so he could yell. “What?”
“We’re going to find food,” Frankie yelled back. “You guys want to come?”
“No!” We shouted in unison, then stifled giggles.
Frankie’s voice faded as he said something about leaving us kids to something. I didn’t care about Frankie right now.
But I did wonder if Devon was with him. Damn it.
Eli turned my face back to his. “I lied.”
“You did?” I could barely speak above a whisper. “About what?”
I felt his smile again. “I am hungry.”
“For what?” Frankie had taken some of the magic away with him, and I needed to get it back.
A kiss on the forehead. “For that bourbon.” Another on my nose. “And most importantly,” Eli’s lips grazed mine, “for you.”
My mouth fell open, and Eli caught my bottom lip between his, his teeth moving so lightly against my skin it tickled. I jumped with the sensation, and Eli guided my back down onto the mattress. “I’m so glad to be here with you,” he murmured.
“You’re the reason we’re here.” I wasn’t sure Eli heard me, he nuzzled against my neck and I was turning to jelly under his touch.
He picked his head up, shaking it. “No. If it wasn’t for you, I’d never be in Sinister Riot. Playing this show.”
I could have told him a thousand reasons why everyone was here to see him, but all I could do was move my lips against his. Usually, when we kissed, I’d hold his neck and follow his lead, but the alcohol gave me other ideas. My hands felt down past his shoulders, and I rubbed his arms as he held himself up over my body. Eli moaned when I touched the small of his back, the skin under his shirt scorching my fingertips.
Eli pulled up from me, my back rising to follow him. He took his shirt off and threw it on the floor; my hands were drawn to all that skin, tracing the lines of his bare torso with the same wonder as I would a treasure map. His eyes followed my every move. Just before my fingers brushed against the button of his jeans, I stopped.
I sat up, bringing my fingers against his cheek, a place I was much more confident touching. Eli caught my hand, kissing each one of my knuckles before placing it back down in my lap. In a fluid movement, he pulled my shirt over my head, my limbs rising and falling like they belonged to a rag doll. Instead of dropping it on the floor like he did with his shirt, he folded it and placed it on the corner of the mattress. He kissed my bare shoulder, following the line of my bra strap. My breath caught in the back of my throat.
So focused on the sensation of his lips against my body, I hadn’t noticed when Eli had unhooked my bra until the lace slid forward, and he pushed the straps down my arms. Once it was free of my body, he carefully folded it in half and placed it on top of my shirt.
His fingers circled my breasts, and I trembled so violently I thought I might shake out of my skin. I couldn’t meet his eyes. Blood thundered in my ears. Eli must have heard it, because he brushed my hair away from my face and kissed my cheek. That he knew I could handle. “Hey,” he murmured.
“Hey.” I wasn’t sure if it had any volume.
Eli pulled me into his lap, his skin pressed against mine. “How you doing?” His lips were against my cheek.
I nodded. I wasn’t sure if it made sense, but all of my emotions wrestled with each other and I was afraid words would betray me. I knew I didn’t have any reason to be so scared, Eli wasn’t going to hurt me. As much as I wanted this, especially right now, I couldn’t make that fear go away. To make sure he
understood what I didn’t, I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder.
He played with my hair, and I relaxed with every stroke. The feel of his skin under my fingers slowly built my confidence, my hands exploring his back, and again we were kissing like we weren’t meant to do anything else.
Eli stretched his legs out, his body leading me down to the mattress. I forced myself to meet his eyes, and I couldn’t do it for more than a couple seconds. In my defense, he looked pretty damn good without his shirt on. Not overly built, but lean and defined. And in his defense, he wasn’t all that interested in my eyes, either. He mashed his lips together as his gaze fell over my body, like he had something to tell me, but couldn’t. He lowered his mouth to my breast, his tongue hot against my nipple, and I gasped, my breath noisy. Eli held me down on the mattress by my hips, one hand sliding lower until my skirt was at my feet.
I held on to him for dear life. With every move he made, this became more real.
Eli rolled back on to his knees, his fingers against his fly. He stopped, and I couldn’t read his face.
He shook his head. “I can’t do this.”
“What do you mean?” I balled the sheets in my hands so I wouldn’t cover my body. The room spun around me and I felt seasick. Was I that hideous that he couldn’t continue? Was there something actually wrong with me? What had I done wrong?
Now I could read the look on his face all too well. Sadness, disappointment, and maybe a little bit of anger. His smile made it worse. “You don’t want to do this.”
I sat up and reached for his hand, but he moved before I could touch him. “That’s not true.”
“With me.” He looked away from me, and I could barely hear him. “You don’t want to do this with me.”
“Eli,” I choked out before the first tear hit my cheek. “Please look at me.”
He didn’t. Instead, he rubbed his face, hard. “You flinch every time I touch you.”
“No, I don’t.” God, did I? He met my eyes, and I wished he hadn’t. “I didn’t mean to. You know…I haven’t done this.” And at this rate, I probably never would.
Too Many Reasons Page 9
