He was not there. No matter. Julia went to knock on the door of his study instead. She was so eager to see him that she did not even stop to think what the servants would make of her desperate quest to find him.
Charles was not in the study either. Julia made her way upstairs, checking in rooms at random, wondering why he had not been ready to greet her. She felt no alarm until, finally, she made her approach to the schoolroom. The note of panic in the voices which spilled out into the corridor immediately filled her with fear.
She pushed open the schoolroom door and found Charles and Miss Kelsey standing in the middle of a great confusion. The door of every cupboard was open. The tablecloth had been pulled from the table, revealing its bare legs. A window had been flung open and was letting in an icy breeze.
"What on earth is the matter?" Julia asked. Charles turned towards her with fear in his eyes. He held out his hands as though he were about to embrace her. Julia took a step back and shook her head, willing him to remember that Miss Kelsey was watching his every move.
"Julia," Charles said hoarsely. "Annabelle is missing."
"Not missing, exactly," cooed Miss Kelsey. "You know how fond she is of hide and seek. This may yet be one of her childish games. I will go and check her bedroom, my lord –"
"Do not presume to tell me when I ought to begin worrying about my own daughter," said Charles sternly. "It is not like Annabelle to run off without telling anyone where she was going. Think, Miss Kelsey, what was the last thing she said to you before you dozed off?"
"Oh, she was babbling on about those fairies in the garden again," Miss Kelsey said dismissively. "Rest assured, my lord, we will find her before ten minutes are up."
Charles strode past Julia, taking care to let his arm brush against hers. There was a pain in his eyes that Julia longed to soothe with a loving embrace. She followed him out of the room, letting Miss Kelsey go in the other direction toward Annabelle's bedroom. When they were alone, Julia caught hold of Charles's arm.
"No harm will come to her," she promised him. "Charles, calm yourself. You will do no good to Annabelle if you let yourself panic."
Charles put his arms around her and let his forehead knock against hers. "This is not the homecoming I wished for you," he said. "I am sorry, Julia. Let me welcome you back now." He lifted her chin, raising her lips to his, and kissed her warmly. Julia sighed with happiness. Too soon, Charles let her go.
"Now I am ready to conduct a proper search," he said. "You've really are a wonder, Julia Mallory."
"What shall I do?" asked Julia. "How can I help?"
"Don't trouble yourself," said Charles, much more cheerful now that he had kissed her. "I'm sure Miss Kelsey is right and we will find her in a few minutes. I'll ask Larkin now to have the maids search the house. You go upstairs and unpack your things. Make yourself comfortable. I don't want you fretting about Annabelle."
Julia did as he asked, leaving her bedroom door open a crack so that she could hear what was going on in the house. Annabel's name could soon be heard in every room. As Julia unpacked her things, the calling voices only grew more frantic. Eventually, she gave up on unpacking entirely, and went downstairs to join the search.
She found Charles grey-faced in the drawing room, talking in a low voice to Mr Larkin.
"It seems she is nowhere in the house," he was saying grimly. "You say there was a door left open in the kitchens?"
"Miss Graham cannot apologise for it enough," said Mr. Larkin. "She is very frightened."
"It was not her doing," said Charles. "My flighty little daughter will do what she pleases, after all." He glanced up and saw Julia. "Ah, Julia. It seems we have not found her as quickly as we hoped."
Julia saw Mr. Larkin look up, puzzled, at Charles's use of her first name. She widened her eyes at Charles, hoping that he would take the hint.
"Well, Miss Mallory," Charles continued smoothly, "perhaps you will be of most use in the kitchens. If Miss Graham is upset, she will want someone to talk to. Please assure her that I do not blame her at all for leaving the door open. It was a mistake any of us might have made."
"So Lady Annabelle has made her way out of the house?" Julia asked. A sudden, most unpleasant thought occurred to her. Her skin began to prickle with fear.
"It seems so," Charles sighed. "Though why she wanted to play outside in this weather is beyond me. Larkin, have the footmen search the grounds as we discussed. If she is not found soon, I will send for a constable."
"A constable?" repeated Mr Larkin. "Do you think that is really necessary?"
"I certainly do. I intend to take every precaution until Annabelle is safely back inside."
Mr. Larkin bowed. "I will go and see to things at once," he said.
And Julia was alone with Charles once more. She had been longing for just such a moment all week, but now that it had arrived, she could not enjoy it. Rather, her heart was racing, and she struggled to breathe evenly.
"Charles," she said, "there is something I must tell you."
"If it concerns Annabelle, say it at once."
"It does concern her," said Julia, "or rather, I fear it may. Charles, I am afraid I have not been entirely honest with you. That is, I have never lied to you, but neither have I told you the whole truth."
Charles frowned. "I thought we knew everything there was to know about each other."
"I told you everything that was in my power to tell. But now that Annabelle may be in danger, I can no longer hide my past from you."
"It did not escape my notice that you never speak about the past," said Charles, nodding thoughtfully. "But whatever it is, Julia, surely it cannot affect Annabelle now?"
"I truly hope you are right," said Julia. Charles was looking at her with such patient understanding that it almost broke her heart. She wanted more than anything else to stop talking, to hold him in her arms until Annabelle returned, to keep her shame forever a secret. But she owed him more than that. She owed Annabelle more than that.
"My name, as you know, is Julia Mallory," she said hesitantly. "But that is not all I am. I was born the illegitimate daughter of the late Duke of Westbourne. He never acknowledged me. I was raised in poverty by my brother after my mother died." She stopped, unable to go on. Her confession was even more painful than she had imagined.
Charles took her hands. "Julia, my sweet Julia, do you really think I would judge you for the actions of a man you never met?"
Julia blinked back tears. "It is not my father's actions which trouble me now. My brother is a cruel and dangerous man. He has already committed crimes against the Westbourne family. I cannot know, but I am terribly afraid, that he has now committed a crime against you. He has never forgiven me for leaving him. He never forgave society for allowing him and my mother to care for me in poverty while my father lived a life of luxury. He has a grudge against the aristocracy that can never be erased."
"But what has all this to do with Annabelle?" Charles asked.
Now the tears were flowing freely from Julia's eyes. "Edmund has already come to Chiltern once," she confessed. "It was he who accosted me on the road to the village. He threatened me. I hoped they were empty words – I never dreamed he might turn against you or your family..."
Slow horror dawned on Charles's face. "Did you say Edmund? Edmund Mallory? That blackhearted rogue? Julia, tell me this is some sort of joke – that man cannot be your brother."
All Julia could do was nod. "I see you've heard of him."
"Heard of him?" Charles repeated incredulously. "Half of London has heard of him. Mallory's gaming hell is one of the most notorious dives in London." He passed a hand across his eyes. "I've been there myself on occasion. Do you – do you really mean to tell me that is where you lived?"
"I avoided the gaming hell as much as possible," said Julia. "I never approved of Edmund's work or his business practices. You cannot know how hard it was for me to escape him, but escape him I did. All I want now is to live a respectable life."
&
nbsp; "So this is what comes of taking the word of a Duchess!" Charles exclaimed. "Only imagine if I had gone to a mere Countess in my search for a governess – she would have recommended me a demimondaine!"
Julia flinched. She did not know what reaction she deserved, but his mocking words hurt her deeply. Charles saw her pain and relented.
"I do not blame you for this," he said. "Although I wish you had told me sooner. Especially after Edmund threatened you. This puts matters in an entirely new light. I will have Larkin send a runner to the police station at once." He left the room without another word. Julia stood a moment, trembling, not knowing what to think. Charles had barely begun to absorb the news, but his reaction so far had not been promising.
Had she destroyed his faith in her for ever?
It was unbearable to simply stand around waiting to find out what would happen next. Julia dried her eyes and went to the kitchen to find Felicity Graham. At least they would be able to comfort one another.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Julia found Felicity standing at the kitchen table, her hair dusted with flour, angrily kneading a lump of dough. She smacked it down with such force it was a wonder the wooden table didn't crack underneath her.
"Felicity," Julia began cautiously, "are you quite well?"
When Felicity saw that it was Julia, her eyes flooded with tears. "No, I'm very far from well. I may never be well again. I will not forgive myself for making such a silly, selfish error."
"You are too hard on yourself," Julia said soothingly. "Even the Marquess doesn't blame you. Annabelle is a lively child and these things will happen from time to time."
"But no one has seen her for hours!" Felicity wailed. Julia was struggling to keep calm herself, but she knew she had to pull herself together for the sake of her friend.
"They have not yet made a complete search of the gardens," she said. "It is very likely that Annabelle went out in search of her fairy friends."
Felicity managed a watery smile. "Fairies? What an imagination that girl has!"
"She has been obsessed with them ever since she saw two shadowy figures in the garden one evening," said Julia. "Everything she sees, she attributes to the fairies. She will not accept a natural explanation for anything."
Felicity ground the palms of her hands into her reddened eyes, dusting her face heavily with flour. "Oh, what a fool I am!" she cried. "Shadowy figures walking around the garden after dark? Julia, I'm afraid I have a confession to make."
"You're not the only one," Julia said, smiling wryly. "I have just made a rather unpleasant confession of my own to the Marquess."
Felicity laughed bitterly. "Let's confess to each other, then, and will see who was the most scandalous of the two of us. You go first. That will make me brave enough to tell you what I have to say."
"Do you recall the fright I had when some men in a carriage stopped and harassed me on the way to Chiltern?" Julia asked. Felicity nodded. "Well, I was not entirely honest about what happened that day. The fact is, I knew the men. I knew them extremely well. Their leader was my brother, Edmund Mallory. I doubt you will have heard of him, but the Marquess certainly has. He is not exactly a criminal... At least, his crimes have never been discovered by the police, but he is dangerous, and it was very wrong of me not to let the Marquess know that he had taken an interest in my life here at Harding Hall." A shiver of fear passed through her. "I am so afraid that if Annabelle went outside alone, she may have encountered one of Edmund's men, sent here to spy on me and cause mischief."
Now that she had come clean, Julia felt what a great burden she had been under all this time. Honesty was always the best policy. She only hoped Charles would agree.
"Why, Julia!" Felicity laughed. "I would never have thought a prim little thing like you had such a dark secret!"
"Prim?" Julia repeated, feeling rather offended. She wondered whether Felicity would still call her prim if she knew all that had gone on between Julia and Charles.
"Now, it's my turn," said Felicity. "I'm afraid I'm going to win our little wager. All the evil brothers in the world cannot compare to my scandalous behaviour." She raised her hand to her mouth and let out a hysterical giggle. "I think I have an explanation for Annabelle's fairies in the garden," she confessed. "The fact is, I have been spending a great deal of time sneaking around under cover of darkness. I have behaved in the most appalling fashion, and I have no excuse to offer for it but this: I am hopelessly in love." She glanced at Julia to see how her story was going down.
"In love?" Julia asked. "But with who?"
Felicity looked as though she did not know whether to laugh or cry. "I suppose I must tell you now. I admit that I'm grateful to be able to confide in someone. Things have gone so far now that I fear I have done irrevocable damage. All the same, it's so hard to say the words..."
"Shall I guess?" Julia offered.
"You can certainly try," said Felicity. "But I'm afraid you will not even come close."
"Is it Peter Kildare?" Julia hazarded. Felicity laughed aloud.
"He's a handsome one, no doubt, but he's not the one for me."
"One of the footmen?"
"I'm afraid I have aimed a little higher than that." Felicity let out another hysterical giggle. "Julia, you cannot know how awful it is to love someone so far above you that nothing can ever come of it. Especially now..." Involuntarily, she lifted a hand to her stomach. Julia understood at once.
"Oh, Felicity, tell me you are not with child."
All Felicity could manage was a nod. Julia went towards her and caught her up in a hug, without a care for the floury mess that was smeared all over her dress. "You poor, poor girl," she murmured. "And do you mean to tell me that you are not even engaged?"
"You must not judge him too harshly," said Felicity. "I have only just written to him about the baby. I was hoping to meet with him today – that's why I went outside – and I was so distracted I left the door open. But he didn't come. We have a secret meeting place, somewhere no one ever goes. He can't always make it, but when he can, that's where I see him." She rested her head on Julia's shoulder. "I suppose the time has really come to tell you everything. The truth is, it's Kit. Lord Christopher." She said his name with a reverence that spoke of the depth of her feelings. "So now you understand. There is no hope for me. He is the son of a Duke, and I am nothing but a cook. I have been a blind fool to let things get this far. I blame only myself."
"Lord Kit?" asked Julia, astonished. "Can it really be true?"
Even as she spoke, she knew her question was redundant. Lord Kit was exactly the sort of man to get a woman into trouble and leave her to deal with the consequences alone. True, she had thought Felicity was more sensible, but who was Julia to judge her?
Above all, she was glad that she and Charles had not given into their temptation to go beyond a few stolen kisses. Felicity's dire situation painted Julia's own in quite a different light. What had been romantic now seemed like pure folly.
"You say you went to your secret place today?" Julia asked, a thought striking her. "Is it truly as secret as all that? Is it possible that the footmen searching the gardens will not come across it?"
"It is a little dell in the middle of the forest," said Felicity. "It's entirely surrounded by thick bushes – if Kit had not shown it to me I would never have found it myself. It's the most beautiful place, Julia, especially in the summertime. It's the only place in all the forest where wild honeysuckle grows."
"It has been raining," said Julia. "If you left footsteps in the mud on your way there and back, it's possible Annabelle may have followed them. It would be nothing but a game to her. Following the fairy footsteps."
"It's quite some way away. I doubt Annabelle would manage to make it all the way there herself."
"You clearly haven't had the pleasure of spending a full day chasing her around," smiled Julia. "Besides, even if she has stopped along the way, following your footsteps will lead us straight to her."
"You're abs
olutely right," cried Felicity. "Quick, let's go and look for her. It's certainly a much better idea than waiting around here. I think I'll go mad if I wait a moment longer."
She ran to her bedroom and came back holding a winter coat and a thick shawl for Julia. "Put this on," she said, "and let's not waste any more time!"
The two women ventured out into the grey drizzle of the February afternoon. Just as Julia had predicted, Felicity's footsteps were plain to see in the mud. They led through the wintry beauty of the formal gardens, through a back gate, and out into the wildness of the forest beyond. Julia had explored the forest before, but she was nowhere near as familiar with it as Felicity, who led the way with determined certainty.
After a few minutes walking, the footsteps seemed to vanish into a thicket of impassable bushes. Julia hesitated, but Felicity lifted aside a branch, revealing a path through. Julia's heart lifted when she heard the unmistakable sound of Annabelle's childish singing coming from the glade beyond.
"Lady Annabelle!" she cried, running forwards without a care for the mud.
Annabelle was sheltering from the drizzle underneath a large tree. The ground around her was carpeted with the tiny nodding heads of snowdrops.
"Oh, Miss Mallory!" said Annabelle, lifting up her arms to give Julia a hug. "Look! Look at the snowdrops!"
Julia gathered Annabelle into her arms. "Really, Lady Annabelle, this is no time to be looking at flowers. What were you thinking, running off alone?"
"I found a secret path," said Annabelle. Julia and Felicity exchanged a wry glance.
"It's exactly as I thought," said Felicity. "If the Marquess doesn't dismiss me for this, I'll think less of him."
"Don't tempt fate," Julia warned her. "Particularly not in your situation."
She lifted Annabelle up and deposited her back on her feet. "Come along now, Lady Annabelle. Your father has been worried sick. So have we all. It was very wrong of you to go so far without telling anyone where you were. Do you understand?"
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