“I have never really given it that much thought honestly.” He admits. “From the moment I was old enough to start learning the business that’s what I did. My father used every opportunity he had to bring Ryan and me along with him on trips and business endeavors. Hell, I was sitting in a board room before I was even a freshman in high school. We were bred to take over this business. It’s just part of me.”
“Then why do you think you feel like the outsider?” I ask, genuinely curious.
“I’m just not like anyone in my family. Ryan and I couldn’t be more different. It’s almost like my father has never truly seen me for who I am. I have taken a backseat to Ryan since my mom died.” His voice trails off.
“What was she like?” I ask the question hesitantly, knowing this is a sensitive subject.
“Like me.” He sighs, his hand moving from my back to my hair, his fingers sliding through the wavy ends. “Only way prettier.” He adds on a light laugh.
“Do you think maybe that’s why your father favors your brother, because you are more like your mom and he is more like him?” I ask, still not having a full grasp on Nicholas Scott and just what kind of man he is.
“I think it hurts my father to be around me too much.” He shifts beneath me, rolling to his side as he tucks me into his chest, my head resting on his arm. “Sometimes he will just look at me, really look at me, and I know it’s because he sees her. I have her eyes, her dark hair. I am so much like her in so many ways. After she passed he moved to the city, he couldn’t bear to stay at our Santa Monica beach house where he had lived with my mom, where Ryan and I spent most of our childhood, whereas I couldn’t bear to leave it. I’ve lived there by myself ever since.”
“Wait, so you’ve lived by yourself since...” I cut in.
“Since I was fourteen.” He finishes my sentence. “Ryan chose to go to the city with my father. I liked it better that way. I mean, he hired a housekeeper to occupy the guest quarters and make sure I stayed out of trouble, didn’t starve to death or burn the house down, and a driver to ensure I made it to school but other than that, he walked away from being my father the exact same week I lost my mother. I guess it was for the best.” He shrugs, his body relaxing slightly against mine.
“I’m sorry.” I say, not able to hold back the sadness I feel for the boy he used to be; the boy who lost his mom, and for all intents and purposes lost his father too, at such a crucial time in his life.
“It was a long time ago.” He kisses my forehead.
“Even still, I’m sure a loss like that sticks with you.” I say, choking back the emotion that thickens in my throat.
“I guess in a way it does. But a past shouldn’t define a future. The cards were dealt and I played the hand the best I knew how. I think it worked out as it was meant to.” His ability to just simply let go leaves me a bit in awe of the man lying next to me.
I wish I possessed that strength; to just let go and let the past be the past.
“And you don’t resent your father for abandoning you the way he did?” I ask, not able to stop myself.
“No.” He answers simply. “If anything I’m grateful. It’s hard to say what the impact may have been had I remained with my father. I mean look at Ryan.” He shakes his head.
“My examples were all set by my mother. She taught me the difference between right and wrong, what separates good people from bad, what truly matters in life. My mother was the best thing about my father. She was the only one who knew how to love him the way he needed and wasn’t afraid to put him in his place. She forced him to prioritize family over work and insisted he be the father she felt we needed. Once she was gone he let his work consume him until he had nothing left. Nothing but his company and the one son that was blind enough to follow him into the same life. I love ScoTech don’t get me wrong. It is my father’s legacy and I will always strive to make him proud. But I also know there is more to life. My father doesn’t feel the same way. Him and Ryan have that in common which is primarily why Ryan was selected to take on the company after my father retires. Like my father, my brother is driven by power. I know that running my father’s company is all he’s ever wanted and he’s gone to great lengths to ensure he gets to do just that.”
“What do you mean?” I try to keep my voice calm.
“Nothing.” He shakes it off. “Let’s not talk about my brother right now.” He tenses slightly against me and I am suddenly reminded that in his mind I am somewhat dating Ryan.
“You’re right, let’s not.” I agree, knowing that this is probably the last time I will ever get to be in Luke’s arms.
Ryan has taken enough from me but I won’t let him have this. This moment, this memory, the way I feel right now, is something he will never be able to touch. Snuggling deeper into Luke’s embrace, I place my lips lightly to his chest and breathe in his scent as deeply as I can, trying to commit it to memory.
“Will you promise me something?” I ask, closing my eyes.
“Anything.” I can hear the smile in his voice.
“Promise me that you won’t ever lose who you are. No matter how lost you may feel or how much of an outsider you may be, don’t ever conform to be like them. There are so many of them out there.”
“I promise.” He laughs lightly, nudging me. “Besides, you can always shove me in the right direction should I ever steer off course.” His statement is enough to gut me right here on the spot.
I don’t have the heart to tell him that this is all he will ever have from me, that when we return to California tomorrow it will be as if these last two days never existed, or that once my plan is complete he will never see me again. Not because it’s what I want but because sometimes we have to sacrifice our own happiness for the sake of what is right.
Besides, when and if he learns the truth, he will probably never want to see me again so I guess ultimately I am doing him a favor. The sooner I end this, the less of an impact it will have on him.
I know my path.
I’ve made my choice.
Allie is already preparing to let Luke go, I just hope Samantha can handle the fallout of losing him.
Chapter
Eighteen
Luke
I feel the warmth of Allie’s body against mine before I even fully wake. Her sweet scent is the first thing I smell, her soft skin the first thing I feel; I think I could wake up every morning just like this. Peeling my eyes open, I turn to see Allie curled into my side, her dark blonde hair sprawled across her face obstructing my view.
Hesitantly reaching out, I brush the hair away from her face, sucking in a deep breath at how incredibly beautiful she looks right now, how at peace. There is something about this girl, something that makes me want to abandon everything I know and just be with her.
I know that I shouldn’t, I know how wrong it is of me to take advantage of her vulnerability this way. I just can’t stop myself. I have never craved a woman the way I crave this one. I have spent weeks trying to not think about her as anything other than my assistant but now, now there’s no going back. Now that I have tasted her nothing will ever satisfy that thirst again, nothing but her.
She shifts slightly against me, her nose crinkling in the cutest fucking way as she snuggles deeper into my arms. It’s the best fucking feeling in the world. But even as I watch this peaceful angel sleep in my arms, this perfect beautiful girl that seems so innocent, I can’t help but wonder what she’s hiding behind those big chocolate eyes of hers.
I can sense it when she looks at me, the way she averts my gaze when the conversation turns to her. Something just doesn’t quite add up here and yet I can’t seem to put my finger on it. Trying not to put a damper on the morning, I quickly shake the thoughts away.
Allie once again shifts, this time rolling away from me, her petite body becoming even more tangled in the white linens that cover the bed. I can’t resist the urge to reach out and trail my hand lightly down the smooth curve of her back, loving the way her skin seem
s to react to my touch even though she is lost to sleep.
Finally deciding I should get up, I reluctantly roll out of bed and quietly cross the space of the bedroom, slipping on a pair of boxers and a white t-shirt on my way out the door.
Deciding to order some breakfast, I have the coffee table in the living area lined with every single item on the hotel’s breakfast menu by the time Allie stumbles out of the bedroom forty-five minutes later in an oversized t-shirt She hits me with a crooked smile, pushing her disheveled hair away from her face as she slides down on the floor across from me and snags a piece of bacon, biting the tip off before saying even one word.
“I’m so hungry.” She laughs, giving me an apologetic look after swallowing her bite of bacon.
“Good.” I laugh, gesturing to all the food I ordered.
“What time did you wake up?” She seems surprised to find me up so early given how late of a night we had.
“About an hour ago.” I stack a couple of pancakes onto the plate in front of me. “You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“I can’t remember the last time I slept so well.” She admits, her statement immediately bringing a smile to my face.
“Perhaps when we get back to California I can show you what a good night’s sleep really entails. You wouldn’t believe how incredible it is falling asleep to the sound of the ocean waves crashing around you.” I say, noticing instantly the way her expression falls as if I have just reminded her of something she didn’t want to remember.
Setting down her half eaten bacon, she grabs a napkin and wipes her hand, refusing to meet my gaze.
“Allie?” I question, feeling like I just said something wrong.
After several long silent moments she finally meets my gaze, the sadness behind her eyes damn near knocking the wind right out of me.
“What is it?” I pry, needing to know what happened that changed her demeanor so quickly.
“We should probably talk about what happens when we return home.” Her voice shakes as she speaks and it’s clear to see she’s very nervous.
“We don’t have to rush things Allie. This doesn’t have to change everything the moment we return.” I reassure her. “There’s no pressure here.” I tack on, sensing maybe she feels like I have certain expectations.
“That’s not it.” She shakes her head, the sadness in her eyes only growing. “Look, these past two days have been probably the best in my life.” She looks down, knotting her hands in front of her as she considers how to say whatever it is she plans to say next.
“It’s just... Well, I can’t...” She hesitates.
“You can’t what?” I push, the anticipation reaching a boiling point inside of me.
“I can’t continue to see you outside of a professional manner Luke.” She hits me with an apologetic look. “I’ve really enjoyed our time here, more than you know, but you are my boss and then there’s Ryan to consider.” Her eyes widen slightly as she immediately takes in my reaction.
“Ryan?” I spit his name like its acid burning my tongue.
“You knew coming here that him and I were... Well, I’m not really sure what we are.” She admits.
“I knew you two had seen each other a couple of times. I just kind of assumed after the last two nights that this would no longer be the case.” I state, trying to keep my voice calm.
“I just... I don’t know.” She lets out a deep sigh, clearly trying to hold herself together.
“What don’t you know Allie?” I cock my head slightly. “It’s pretty simple really. Are you or are you not planning to continue to see Ryan when we return to California?”
Her bottom lip quivers slightly and I can see the answer in her eyes before she even utters a word. This realization sends me into a rage I didn’t know this girl could make me feel. Pushing off the floor, I am already walking away by the time Allie manages to get up as well.
“Luke wait.” She calls after me, causing me to spin around to face her just as I reach the hallway. “It’s not that simple.” She tries to explain.
“But it is that simple Allie. Either you’re with me or you’re not. Either you plan to go back to my brother after fucking me or you don’t. What part is so hard for you?” I regret the tone I take with her but I can’t reel it in. I can’t hide how bad this fucking hurts.
I have spent my life competing with Ryan. Most things I don’t care to let him win, but this... This is something else entirely.
“Luke, please. It’s complicated.” Allie pleads, the look on her face completely contradicting the way she claims to feel.
If I mean so little to her that she can just drop me for my brother then why are tears flowing down her face like she can’t stomach the devastation she feels? I have to fight the urge I have to soothe her, to pull her into my arms and tell her that everything will be okay. She is the one doing this, not me.
“You know what; I will un-complicate it for you. This...” I gesture between the two of us. “This never happened. Going forward you are nothing more than my assistant and you will conduct yourself as such.”
“Luke.” Her voice calls to me once again but I wait until I reach the end of the hall where my bedroom is located before turning back to her.
“It’s Mr. Scott.” The statement seems to knock the wind out of her slightly.
When she sucks in a raged breath, it takes everything in me to hold my tone.
“I will arrange for a car to pick you up outside at two. Make sure you are ready to go by then Miss Reynolds.” I step inside my room and slam the door shut.
Chapter
Nineteen
Samantha
The car ride to the airport is one of the worst I have ever experienced. I have not seen Luke since this morning and every second I get closer to seeing him again my stomach knots tighter. I know I handled the situation this morning poorly. I shouldn’t have just dropped it on him like that. I should have waited, maybe for the plane ride back when I knew he couldn’t run from me, when he would have been forced to let me explain.
But isn’t that exactly what he tried to do; give me a chance to explain? He tried and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t come up with one good reason to tell him. I know that I have them but it’s not like I can just tell him what my true intentions are. If I think he hates me now, I would hate to see his reaction to the truth of my situation.
When the car pulls up next to the small jet on the private air strip, it takes everything I have to peel myself out of the backseat. I let out a deep breath the moment I step outside and try to keep myself calm leading up to the very moment I step on the plane. My nerves ease slightly when I realize that Luke is not yet on board.
Taking a seat in the last of three rows of two seats, I slide in next to the window and immediately turn my attention outside. The spring day is gorgeous, sunny skies, birds chirping, and for a brief moment I mourn the loss that this city brings. First Sean and now Luke.
Though I refuse to compare Sean’s death to my fallout with Luke, I also can’t deny that both will have an impact that will most likely follow me for the rest of my life.
A man like Luke doesn’t come along every day, especially for someone like me. The thought of never feeling his arms around me again is almost too much to stomach. Blinking away the quickly forming tears in my eyes, I take a few calming breaths, trying to pull myself together.
I turn my attention to the front of the plane when I hear someone step on board. The moment Luke comes into view, I suck in another sharp breath. Gone is the loving, laidback, boxer wearing Luke that I spent the last two days with. He’s been replaced by a stoic, quiet man draped in a perfectly pressed business suit; his crystal eyes hidden behind a pair of aviator sunglasses.
He doesn’t acknowledge my presence as he takes a seat at the front of the plane. It takes everything in me to stay in my seat. I want to run to him, tell him I was wrong, that it’s not Ryan I want but him. And while all of that would be true, nothing
else would be.
Luke deserves someone that can give themselves to him completely. I should have never put myself in this position, but when you come face to face with the very thing you want possibly more than anything else, it’s not that simple to just walk away. When I’m with Luke it’s like another person takes over.
It’s like Allie disappears and the girl I really am, the one that deep down just wants to find more, comes blazing to the surface. I can’t fight against my own heart; I never have been able too. But knowing the promise I made to myself and to my family has to trump everything else. Even the fact that my heart is literally breaking in two right now.
This isn’t about me or even Luke. This is about Allie. The woman I created to do what Sam is not strong enough to do; face the person who ruined it all and finally make him pay.
As the plane takes flight, I say a silent goodbye to the girl I found in New York; the one I lost a long time ago, the one Luke brought back to life with just one touch. I tell her I’m sorry. I tell myself I’m sorry.
Swiping away the one tear that manages to escape my eye, I turn my attention from the sky to Luke sitting just a few short feet in front of me. I whisper a silent apology to him as well, knowing that I will never forgive myself for pulling him into all of this. I just hope one day I can make it right.
****
“Welcome back.” I glance up to see Ryan leaning casually against the doorframe of my office.
“Thanks.” I give him the best smile I can muster, having forgotten during my time away just how deeply my hatred for this man runs.
“So I hear you worked wonders in New York.” He pushes away from the door and crosses the space towards me before sliding down into one of the chairs across from me.
“I’m sorry?” I question, panic immediately rising in my throat.
Certainly Luke wouldn’t tell him...
Would he?
I had never considered that possibility until just now.
“Luke said you had the Porters eating out of the palm of your hand. According to him you are the only reason we were able to close the deal with Cyntech.” His smile widens and I silently let out a slow breath of relief.
Beyond Love Lies Deceit Page 10
