by L. Ann Marie
“I have something else for you, but I need to sit up to get it.” She doesn’t listen.
“I can’t believe it.” She hugs the cut and I’m smiling.
“Precious.”
“I’m an old lady.” I watch her hands follow my name.
“Beth.”
“Eliza just said I’d make an awesome old lady.”
“Babe.” She finally looks at me. “I have something else for you.” She moves so her knee isn’t against my dick and I sit us up relieved that I can. I reach in my lower pocket and pull out the small box. “‘All in’ also means married. My name on your back and on paper. This one doesn’t mean as much to the Brothers because the cut’s meaning has that value, but the old ladies like the paper too. Will you marry me Beth?”
She’s looking at me with surprise on her face, but she’s not saying anything. “Breathe Beth.”
“You want to marry me?”
“Since you took the cut and understand what it means I don’t give a fuck about the paper. If in your world of happy, we’re married, then yes. I’ll do whatever it takes to get you to that place. I’m ‘all in’ either way. So, are we getting married or not?”
“Yes,” she says so calm and without tears.
Women are crazy. I slide the ring on her finger and like the way that looks. “It could be me, I’ve never lived with anyone, never even thought about handing my cut to anyone; is this a normal reaction to getting married?”
She laughs. “I think I’m in shock. When I’m not in shock, I’ll scream for you.”
I start laughing and can’t stop. Nothing she does should surprise me, but she’s so fuckin’ funny. “Okay. While you’re still in shock and your knee isn’t anywhere close to maiming me, I have something else that I thought you could wear tonight.” I pull the bigger box out of my pocket and open it. The necklace, bracelet and earrings shine throwing blue specks around her face.
“They match the ring, my dress and my helmet.” I nod since they all match my bike which is the reason I picked this stone. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.”
She kisses me and I think I finally got a normal reaction until she starts squealing then screams. “We’re getting married!”
“Yeah we are, if that’s what makes you happy Precious Beth.” I laugh as she stomps her feet.
“It does! I can’t wait to tell Emma she’ll be so happy.” She runs out of the room and I sit laughing.
Jesus women are crazy. How the fuck did I ever live without her?
* * *
I’m shaking my arms out trying to get rid of the nervous energy that’s running through me. Lily comes up the stairs smiling. “She is off the freakin’ chart in happy land. She’s so proud of you. Thanks for doing this Taylor.” Beth is right behind her smiling for me.
She’s beautiful and radiating sunshine with her smile. I throw Lily chin and kiss my smiling old lady. “I’m ready when you are,” I tell her when I’m done.
“We’re just waiting for a couple of businessmen to get in. They pulled up a couple of minutes ago.”
I nod, but I don’t get why they just don’t get the money from Princes. I even tried to fund them with the job I took last month, but she won’t take it.
She goes to the curtain and smiles back. “Okay, Taylor you’re the second speaker, you wait to be introduced. Beth you’re up.”
“What?” I didn’t know she was speaking.
Beth pulls me down and gives me a kiss. “You always let me go first my tattooed biker. I thought you wouldn’t mind.” She walks out through the break in the curtain and I’m standing here shocked again. I hear Prez introduce her and Lily motions for me to come to the curtain.
My feet move me and I watch my girl talk about the effects of PTSD on the families with afflicted military members. She gives numbers, shows charts, and the amount of money spent by hospitals and police man hours as a direct result of PTSD. Finally, she shows the suicide rate and my eyes are burning. She’s passionate and confident with her words and mannerisms. I fuckin’ love her more seeing how much this means to her. She tells them she’d like them to watch the screen before the next speaker comes on.
Lily pushes me out. Christian is at the podium and I smile. He reads the awards and citations as they show on the screen and I shake my head. They are too fuckin’ much. Beth steps back and holds my hand.
When the pages finish, he looks at the crowd. “Those are a few of the awards that we could show. My brother is a retired SEAL. Knowing what kind of man he is, then seeing him struggle with something that had the ability to hurt him and everyone around him is what brings us here tonight.” He smiles looking back at me. “My brother is a retired SEAL. Quit is not in his vocabulary. Most of the military men and women have that same determination, drive and motivation, but as a community we do not have the resources to accommodate their needs. Needs that arise as a direct result of them fighting for our freedom. Listen to the memory that haunts him and you’ll understand why this program is needed—not just here—but all over the country. I am honored to introduce my brother, retired Navy SEAL Satellite from SEAL Team Ten, Taylor Blackhawk.”
People stand, but all I can see is Christian. He’s smiling and hugs me. “I love you Taylor. I can’t think of a better example to have than the strongest man I know. I’m proud of you for taking the hard instead of easy.”
I laugh and slap his back. “Love you too Christian. Happy looks so fuckin’ good on you.”
At the podium, I stand waiting for the people to sit. My fuckin’ family and Brothers are amazing. There are more people here than I expected. I look back at Beth and see her smile. I settle and turn back to the people. I tell them my story, then I tell them about the memory and the amazing people that got me through it—right down to the therapist. “The day something changed for me, wasn’t in knowing that I actually got some women out of the truck. It was the day my Brothers showed up and were deciding what they needed to do to keep me alive. They didn’t give a shit about what I thought. I hadn’t slept in days and had no clue what I needed. They planned and worked right alongside me. Asking me daily, checking in to making sure I had all the tools I needed to get through the worst nights of my life. Not everyone has the support I do. Not everyone has the family I do. Not everyone has the money to pay for services. I can tell you that my determination alone wouldn’t have been enough. I had been living with PTSD for over two years. Therapy didn’t help when it was just me. It took all of us. I am one of the lucky ones and I know it. That’s why I’m here tonight. We need to do more for the Brothers and Sisters that are in the armed forces and coming out that need the extra help. They gave everything for our country. It’s time to open our eyes and see this as a concern not only for them, but the community as a whole. We did it for the homeless, we did it for the hungry, we can do it for the Brothers and Sisters like me, that live with PTSD. We have the chance to change some of those numbers. The most important being the suicide rate. For those members here tonight that have PTSD, we have people that can talk to you. Their hands are out right now. Take it Brothers. For those able to support the efforts, the Princes and the Baxters are willing to match your contributions. Thank you for hearing me tonight.”
My family is waiting when I turn around. “So fuckin’ proud of you Son.” My dad hugs me. I hug my mom and I’m looking around for Beth.
“She’s here,” Jeremy says behind me.
When I turn, she’s smiling. “I’m so proud of you.” She hugs me and it feels so good. My head is fucked up, but she loves me and is proud of me. I can live with that.
People are clapping and we all look around. The board is lit with numbers like a telethon and I laugh. Fuckin’ Lily. There’s already almost a hundred grand up there. It’s been like three minutes.
I look for her and see she’s looking right at me standing with Prez. She throws me chin and I laugh giving it back.
Beth pulls me down the stairs and the MC Brothers are waiting. Rich and Patches hu
g me then Uncle Danny and Pres. “Do you have a date yet?” I walk away pulling Beth with me.
Jessie’s laughing. “They’re crazy. That was fuckin’ awesome Brother. You did good. Your old lady is amazing. I can’t believe she got everyone here. Did you see the men with Anita and Deirdre? Fuckin’ amazing.”
I stop and look at Beth. “You did this?”
She shrugs. “I made calls and got the TV station to pick it up. It’s not CNN, but other reporters are here. There’s even some men from the base that showed. Some Admiral and people I can’t remember.” I laugh. She’s so fuckin’ funny. I kiss her. Some Admiral.
She pulls me to the other room. People are at a buffet and sitting around tables talking. This is bigger than what I thought tonight would be. Brantley and Holly hug me and Jeremy puts a hat on me. I take it off and look at it.
“You need it. Trust me.”
I nod and put it on. It just has a flag on it, so I don’t mind. He turns it backward and I leave it. Jeremy doesn’t say trust me, ever.
Music comes on and Mitch starts singing. She did this all the time at the Compound. We loved their parties because of her singing. I’m brought to a table in front and look around for Beth. Fuck. It’s packed in here and people are dancing and up at the buffet. She could be anywhere. Darren is saying something to me and I hold up a finger. “Where’s Beth?” I start walking and Prez pulls me back.
“Give them a minute.” He’s watching the stage.
Lily, Holly, Eliza, Brenda, Amanda, Sheila and Tess are standing at the stage. I’m smiling, this ought to be good. The music starts and every Brother laughs. Bohemian Rhapsody—they sing this song every time they get drunk. They do good, but I don’t see Beth. When they’re done, everyone is clapping. I watch them walk to their men still looking for her.
The music starts and Sheila moves me closer to the stage. Beth walks out with her smile lighting up when she sees me.
She points to me. “Oh hey, boy with your hat back, mmm I kind of like that, if you want to walk my way, I’mma shoot you straight up, show me what your made of.” She crooks her finger and I move closer. Her foot touches my chest and she goes on giving me a little push. “I don’t have time to waste on the boys that are playing the games...” I laugh and enjoy her playing with me through the song. She’s fuckin’ good and everyone is getting a kick out of her calling me over and pushing me away. She steals my hat and walks the stage wearing it, making the Brothers laugh. Toward the end she stands in front of me and sings to me. Telling me to love her like I mean it. I nod and she jumps on me surprising me and everyone else. They’re laughing and clapping. Fuckin’ Beth.
“I don’t know how I could love you more.” I kiss my girl hearing everyone cheer for her.
Chapter Nineteen
Two weeks
Taylor
I let my class out and head to Ops. It’s trafficking day with the MC and all I know is nothing is close. When I walk in Jessie isn’t happy. “What’s up?”
“LP1 needs a partner and he’s calling for fuckin’ Brantley.” He’s disgusted and I laugh.
Brantley turns around and gives me a look. “Swear to God I’m trading my bike for a minivan if I have to ride with him again. He’s fuckin’ nuts.”
Prez pops on the screen. “Meeting room.”
“Why is he calling for a partner?” I ask walking into the hall.
Jessie smiles. “Penny had the baby. A boy for Digs. Named him Tucker.”
I smile. Fuckin’ nice. Penny is going to be a great mom; she loves all kids like Kate does. We need to go up and see them.
We sit and Prez walks in. Brantley stands up. “Prez I need to be on the boards. I’m not Ops and he’s fuckin’ crazy.”
“Relax Brother. You’re able to do the job, but it isn’t your job. You’re more valuable at control than a gun. He is crazy and was fuckin’ with you. Jessie or Taylor will run with him.”
I look at Jessie. We rock, paper, scissor it and Jessie loses. I look at Prez. “I got him.”
He looks surprised. “I thought you’d go the other way.”
“He’s fuckin’ fun. Can you make sure he eats? I’ll grab a sandwich for my bag before we leave in case we’re late.”
They all laugh. I look around thinking it’s the smart thing to do. Prez nods and gives us our assignments. On the way out I grab a sandwich from the break room and run to the locker room.
We get our gear set and change, making it out in minutes. Waiting for our Teams, I’m struck by how fast we’re ready now. We have two teams running and me with Uncle Danny. Aaron’s yelling at the teams as he’s walking out. “He’d make a good drill sergeant,” I tell Jessie while watching him yell, “Go, go, go!”
He laughs, starting his bike. We ride to the choppers and load the lead and tag bikes. The rest will get MC’s. With the choppers loaded, I get in Halo and Jessie goes with Dakota. We set down in the center of Mass and see the MC riding up as we’re unloading.
Uncle Danny slaps my back. “We’re further away every time. We must be doing something right.” I’m watching the teams pull the bikes out of the trailer, they move fuckin’ quick.
He smiles. “We think so too. You sleeping still?”
There was a time I’d be pissed that anyone would ask. Now it throws relief and I smile. “I am and it’s been good.” I love knowing they aren’t letting go. “Did you eat?”
He shakes his head no. “Fuckin’ babies pick the worst time to show.”
I smile and hand him the sandwich. “Got your back LP.”
He smiles and eats while everyone checks their gear and picks up extra ammo for the Op. Jake calls for check in and Uncle Danny says, “Yah,” with a mouthful of sandwich.
I hear Jessie laughing behind me and sign on.
Me: “Sniper on. LP1 is just finishing a sandwich. We’re ready MC Ops.”
Jake: “Thank fuck you fed him, I didn’t have time to get him fed before they left.”
Uncle Danny: “What am I? The fuckin’ dog?”
Jake: “No disrespect LP1. I only know that when we feed you less people end up dead and your partners are happy.”
Rayne says, “Fuck,” behind me.
Uncle Danny: “Get me on with VP!” Oh shit he’s pissed. I look at Jessie thinking I might want to ride with Rayne. He’s fuckin’ smiling at me and shakes his head no. Bastard.
VP: “LP1, VP.”
Uncle Danny: “We’re fuckin’ mixed with Princes and start off making jokes about me eating. My partner and the Prince teams do professional. Except for Brantley.” I hold my laugh. “If playing starts this early, I want you aware to step in when we drop the fuckin’ ball.” I’m relieved and give Jessie a smile. He’s just looking out for us.
VP: “LP1, you eat?” The whole fuckin’ team laughs and Uncle Danny smiles.
Uncle Danny: “Roger VP, my partner brought me food.”
VP: “Good job Sniper. Will watch your lead. He fucks it up, I’ll put him on the flag pole by the helipad ‘fore you get here. We’ll all watch him swing as you land.” Fuck! I look at Jessie and the teams. No one is saying fuck. We know he’ll do it.
Uncle Danny: “Thanks VP. LP1 to MC Ops MD, Team One lead, LP1, ready to roll.”
Jake: “Roger, LP1. Roll on my one.” Thank fuck it’s all business as we’re guided into a neighborhood. The houses are about an acre apart and dotted with low income. I even saw a trailer in between high dollar mc-mansions. It’s an odd mix and I wonder what we’ll hit.
Team Two turned with us, but are far enough away that I don’t hear them. Since we run with low exhaust that could be two or three streets away. We have no feeds, so we hit body cams when we drop our helmets with the bikes. We pulled on the side of some trees blocking the house. LP1 signs and our team splits up. With no feeds, we run eight in a team. I’m on his right looking in a window when he signals the team to report in. Nothing shows on the first floor. He looks at me. “Basement.” I drop and move to a basement window. He has the secon
ds in partnered teams do the same.
MC Brother: “HS6, northeast corner. Movement behind curtains on the basement level.” Curtains?
Me: “I’m blacked out LP1. Southwest basement level.”
Uncle Danny: “Run the perimeter at your zone and get me movement or layout.” I run the foundation looking for a window that’s not blacked out.
Me: “Three on southwest blacked out.”
MC Brother: “One on east shows bright lights through curtains.”
Uncle Danny: “Sniper switch to watch first floor.”
I run back and take his place. I’m watching and register that something moved, but can’t tell what it was. I start looking at reflections in objects on a shelf and see it. “LP1 movement on the first floor southwest.”
Uncle Danny: “Roger Sniper.” When he gets back he’s watching the window. “Two with views, they don’t have surveillance or we would be dead. Lights like a movie or photo shoot are set up and are on. Basement’s split with one big room. The rest are blacked out. A visual on one boy about ten.”
Jake: “Roger LP1. He fits our age. You have movement on the first.”
Uncle Danny: “Roger MD.” He looks at me, “Where am I looking?”
“Second shelf down, blue vase, watch the doorway. He’s armed.” He gives me a look. “What? Look for yourself.”
“How the fuck did you see that?” I shrug. He looks around the room and nods. “You have your gear?” I nod. “Circle around the trees and set up so you’re at the fourth window.” I look at him thinking how the fuck does he know it’s the fourth? It’s the other side of the house. I nod and run, pulling my bag as I go. Fuck I’m going to have sap all over my clothes. I switch gloves and climb. He was right. Fuckin’ guy is crazy, but smart as fuck.
Me: “Sniper with a clear shot LP1.”
Uncle Danny: “You have it clear, that’s got to be nine hundred yards then through a house? Fire on my one Sniper.”
