by L. Ann Marie
Nick stops her from finishing. She shrugs while I get the door. “Since you know them, I’ll finish alone.”
I laugh and push the door open. “Come on in Nick.”
He looks around smiling. “Learning the language?”
I nod smiling—she’s so fuckin’ cute. I get the bandage bin and sit. “I talked to Dakota. He says the scar is getting better. How has it been this week?”
I look when he has it uncovered then look away. “I don’t like seeing it, but it doesn’t hurt.”
“You still don’t want ink on it?”
“No. The next ink I get is for my kids. We don’t get ink without a life experience or purpose.”
“Saving me is a life experience. At least to me it is.” Beth sits on the side of me and holds my hand.
I look over it at her. “Yeah.” It’s not the plan I had, but it should show on me. I need the band around my arm showing I’m taken anyway. “I’ll talk to Amanda.” I don’t want to look at it to get it done.
She looks relieved making me wonder if I’m being a pussy about it. Nick taps my arm. “I talked to her already. She needs pictures, but asked if you’re getting help with looking at it.”
I look at him. “I talked to the therapist.”
He nods and covers it up. “Did she give you ideas to try?”
“Yeah, but looking at it isn’t working for me.” I look out the window feeling my heartbeat in my head.
He sits down. “What happens when you look?”
Fuck. I look at Beth then at Nick. “She’s gone. I have to find her so she doesn’t die in the truck.”
He nods and Beth squeezes my hand. Delta puts his paws on my legs and his head in my lap. I pet him with my other hand. The beat in my head isn’t so loud. “I don’t want to do this.”
“You don’t have to Taylor, it can wait. We’ll keep it covered.” He starts talking to Beth and I pet Delta.
“Stay for dinner. Taylor is grilling, then he has his group.”
I look at her. “You want to eat now?”
“We can. I’m hungry and you’ll make group without us being rushed.”
I tell Delta ‘down’ and stand up. “What am I cooking Precious?”
“You said ‘down.’” She’s smiling proud that she knew the word.
“I did.”
“Steak. I’ll get it ready.”
I turn toward the fridge. “I got it.”
They talk while I get the grill running and the steak seasoned.
When I’m set, Nick comes out with me. I get the Frisbee and throw it for Delta. Nick throws while I check the grill and get us a beer. “He’s like Hawk.”
I hand him a beer. “Yeah. He doesn’t play unless that’s your intention.”
“He’s a good dog.”
I smile at him jumping for the Frisbee. “He is. He went to work today. He likes it at Security.”
He laughs throwing the Frisbee farther. He looks at me. “Your arm is a trigger Taylor and he kept you from going there. He’s a good dog for you Brother.”
It’s a trigger. Like the smell? How the fuck do I fix this one? Cutting it off crosses my mind. Fuckin’ shit. The smell works with ChapStick. “Do you think the ink will work?”
“I think the ink will help. I don’t know enough about how you see that. You’re not a textbook case with anything that’s happened.”
That’s not what I want to hear. “I’ll tell the therapist.” All this shit gets to be too fuckin’ much. I push it away and take the steak off the grill. They talk about the clinic and I think about taking my arm off. It would probably just make a new trigger that’s worse than what I’ve got. I have time. I want to talk to someone, but I don’t know who. Prez isn’t here.
“Everything okay Taylor?”
I look at her. I don’t want to talk to her about this until it’s straight in my head. “Yeah. I need to talk to Uncle Danny before group.”
She nods and kisses my cheek. “You better get going then.”
I smile. “Thanks Precious. I’ll let you know when I leave.” Nick follows me out. I go right to the ‘rents.
They’re on the deck. Since it’s just them I tell them what Nick said.
“He may be right. The ink would take the view from the scarred skin. LB did it with ink. It took him a while before he didn’t see the scars but it worked for him.”
I heard about it. I didn’t even know the scars bothered him. Now the ink is covering everything. Only the people that saw the scars even know they’re under the ink. I don’t see his scars. Maybe I won’t see mine.
“Works with your mind changin’ the view. Took him couple weeks to see the ink.” VP stands up.
“I can do that. It’s better than cutting it off.”
Uncle Danny laughs. “Mitch makes some cool robotics now, but it’s not really a solution. Finding a way around it is how you get to the other side of this. It’s your arm, you have it for life, that means you figure a way to avoid the trigger that works long term. Maybe it will release the trigger for good.”
He’s right. I need to get the fuck over myself and find a way around it. Whining isn’t going to fix it.
Uncle Steve laughs. “Like the attitude, but talkin’s not whinin’.”
I shake my head. “I got group. Thanks Brothers.”
Delta follows me to Brantley’s. We get to group and I’m surprised to see the uncles. Darren plops in the chair beside me. I smile. “Good day?”
“I’ve been looking forward to this meeting all fuckin’ day. I know no one is asking me for shit. Prez needs a fuckin’ assistant.”
I laugh. “José is his assistant. Prez said he takes half the shit off his plate.”
He sits up as more people come in. “He needs another one. Half off his plate still leaves it piled high. I didn’t even look at my own shit today. That means tomorrow I have his and double of my own. I hope the fuckin’ beach is nice.”
I laugh. “What can I help with?” I ask as Jessie walks in and right to the front.
He looks at me. “You have classes tomorrow? I can’t keep track of everyone with his shit.” He shakes his head disgusted.
“I’m HS on call. I’ll find you in the morning.”
“Thanks Brother.”
We pay attention to Jessie.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Beth
“What does your day look like Precious?”
“I’m at the clinic today and I’m excited. I’ve only ever worked at hospitals.”
He smiles. He came home last night smiling, making me a happy camper. I’m glad he has people supporting him. “I’m glad you’re helping. I’m not sure Chevy’s coming back. I should be out early enough to take you to dinner. If not, I’ll pick it up on the way.”
He’s so sugary. “Thank you. I didn’t even think about dinner.”
He knows. Even though he’s laid back about the planning thing he plans the little things. “You want a ride?”
Hmmm. “Maybe after dinner. You need to get to work and I need to get dressed.”
He laughs shaking his head. “Okay Precious. I’ll text you when I’m out.” He kisses me until I want to drag him back to bed. He calls Delta and walks out. Calling him back now would make him late.
I’m going to the clinic. I get excited all over again and dress quickly.
At the clinic Nick introduces me to the receptionist. She’s a sugary woman with a ready smile. I like her immediately. The clinic is clean and well organized making me happy. I think of free clinics as dirty places with barely there medical help. I’m glad this changes that assumption for me. I get the run down and the rooms are filling fast. Nick keeps up without the Doctor attitude. He has no problem cleaning a room if I’m busy. I love it. The receptionist comes back with lunch and a big smile. “Princes sent it over again.”
“Love the fuckin’ Brotherhood.” He makes me laugh. He’s a doctor, but biker all the way. Nothing is sugar-coated here. We eat and get back to work. The two-ten
appointment is a surly police officer. I know this because he told me twice now and I’ve only been here for five minutes. I take the bandage off him and the smell hits me. He’s not taking care of it. When I walk out I tell Nick he’s been drinking and not taking care of his foot.
“Why is PD here?” I shrug. I’ve seen two Brothers here, so cops aren’t surprising to me. “I got him. He needs to go to his primary care.”
I take the next patient and hear the cop yelling about the Princes. Nick comes out and takes a deep breath. “Fuckin’ drunk. He needs antibiotics.” He walks to his office and the guy is still yelling.
After I get vitals I slide the chart in the holder outside of the room and the drunk’s door opens. Nick is pulling the cop by the shirt. “I have patients that want and need my help. I don’t have another fuckin’ minute to waste on you. You have coverage and your own fuckin’ doctors. Go waste their time. We aren’t your entertainment and we don’t owe you shit.” I follow him right down the hall and through reception then watch him push the cop out the door. “The fuckin’ emblem on the sign should have clued you in asshole. Princes funds us. Stay the fuck out of my clinic.”
The cop falls and yells about his foot. It’s the first thing he’s said and I can’t help but laugh with the patients waiting. Nick turns pissed. His eyes are hard and he’s scowling. “Anyone gives you shit you tell me. We are a service for and to the community. No one has the right to talk to you like you owe them for showing up. You’re treated with respect or they can find another fuckin’ place to get seen.”
I follow him back down the hall. “Did he say something about me?”
He stops and turns around. “He didn’t talk to you like you were lower than shit?”
“He wasn’t that bad. I’ve heard worse.” He can’t be this pissed over rude.
“He wanted me to leave you in the room for him. Like that’s part of the service he can expect here. Fuckin’ douche has no idea what Taylor would have done if he heard that comment. I just saved the worthless drunk’s life.”
Shit. That’s disgusting and sadly not the worst that I’ve ever heard. “If we’re done with him, I’ll clean up the room for the next patient.”
He laughs so I look back at him. “Fuckin’ old ladies.”
I smile the rest of the day. Rude isn’t allowed here.
* * *
Taylor
I sit hard. This is fuckin’ nuts. José is transferring calls to me for every fuckin’ thing. “Stop! I’m saying it one more time. PD calls go to the PD. Princes have nothing to do with the pussy you let in your door. Your broken sink is you calling a fuckin’ plumber and fixing it. You fuck someone on the sink and it breaks— is on you, not us. Use a bed next time. You yell at me again I’m at your door to shoot your dumb ass just for being fuckin’ stupid. Fix what you broke and call the PD about your missing shit.”
I just hang up and another fuckin’ call comes in. “Cars at an empty lot? This concerns me why?”
Jesus. I walk into Ops and hold the mic on my phone. “Jason pull up grid seventeen. I need a closed store in the middle of the block with a lot in the back. It’s filling up now.”
I put the phone to my ear. “We’re looking now. Anything else you can tell me?”
“Cops?” Jason looks up at me then points to the board. “Thanks for the heads up.”
“Get VP down here.” I look for Brantley. He’s moving through town two. I call into his Bluetooth. “I need you in Ops.” I get a roger and see his dot fuckin’ fly down the road.
Jason laughs. “Everyone thinks he’s the calm one.”
I laugh, we do. Darren walks in. “I got a call about cars gathering in an empty lot. The caller thinks they’re PD and it made her nervous.”
He looks at Jason. “Get Jax to track them.” He watches the boards. “People afraid of PD says something. Get Jessie and go check it out.”
I nod typing on my phone. “Just us or the Team?”
“I’ll get the Team readied, but just you two right now.”
In the locker room Uncle Danny wants to know what’s up. I tell him and he looks interested. Shaking my head, I change and get a spare from the safe then fill my pockets at the supply room.
Jessie meets me at the bikes. “Ghost and Sniper standing ready VP.”
Darren: “Roll out Ghost. You’re just checking it out.” He’s telling him it’s not an Op.
“Roger VP.” He looks at me. “Why are we out on this?”
“It’s PD and the caller was nervous.” He nods. He gets all the PD shit, so this doesn’t register as different I guess.
We pull to the end of the block and he looks through the side of the window. “It’s empty.”
I go to the next storefront, it’s a florist, the next is a dry cleaner. We walk around back and see a cop at the door.
Getting to the bikes we move them to the next side street. “Brantley get us into the tunnels close to here, but far enough away that we won’t be heard.”
“Head south to the end of the alley. You’re going to the bakery.”
“I could eat,” Uncle Danny says and we look behind us. He’s not there.
“Tell me you’re just listening in while you’re building fuckin’ walls,” Jessie says.
He laughs. Fuckin’ LaPontes. “I would, but this bakery looks good. They got rolls and shit. It reminds me of home.”
“Fuck,” we both say. He fuckin’ laughs again.
“LP1 we could use some room with no interference.” Darren is pissed.
“I wouldn’t dream of interfering. I’m hungry and watching.”
“Dad, there’s food in the fuckin’ break room for you.”
“Don’t like it,” Uncle Steve says.
Jesus. “You’re not leaving, because that would make my life fuckin’ easier today, are you?”
“No,” Uncle Steve says. Shit.
Jessie is smiling as we walk in. Uncle Danny takes a danish off the tray a worker pushes toward him and turns smiling. “Funny meeting you here.”
“You need fuckin’ leashes,” Jessie says walking behind the counter. I’m smiling, following behind him. “We need to get in the basement,” he tells a guy walking toward us. He smirks and points to a door with a padlock on it. Jessie shoots it and opens the door. “Accommodating fuck, aren’t you?” VP laughs.
We find the door and move shit to get it open. With the four of us you’d think we’d sound like elephants going down, but they move with very little or no sound. “We won’t be able to talk going in. Direct us through tracking.”
“Roger Ghost,” Brantley responds, and starts telling us where to turn and what we’re looking for at the next turn. We hear them better the further in we move.
I pull my phone and record what we’re hearing. Fuckin’ pussies called the State’s Attorney—like he’d do something. Since they aren’t getting that help they’re going to take us down. I almost laugh until I hear they’ll make a run at the Compound for the kids on Friday when most Officers are at the Club. They want Driscoll and Jax out. That’s got to be Driscoll’s number two that he won’t let in the PD Security building.
They start planning and Jessie starts pulling shit from his pockets. We wait until they leave and he walks toward where they were standing. It’s a huge room, no wonder we could hear so good. He drops and puts a bug on the first bench then goes to the door and puts one on the hinge. We start walking back and I send the recording to Brantley. In the bakery, a Prospect is waiting at the door with a new padlock. Uncle Danny laughs.
I talk to the woman in charge about sending food to the daycare for a week. She’s happy and takes my card smiling. Jessie gives her the key to the new lock before we leave. “If the Prospect doesn’t fix your door the way you want it, you let me know.” She nods with the smile still on her face.
“Smart,” VP says at their bikes.
At Ops, VP is standing by Darren. “Meeting room.” Me and Jessie turn, going right back out and walk into the meeting
room. Delta was waiting at the back door and has followed me since we’ve been back. He looks around and sits against the wall. This is a new room for him.
“He’s a cool dog.”
I smile. “Yeah. I like that he’s not all over me.”
He smiles. “He reminds me of Hyde.”
I laugh. Hyde won’t like hearing that. “He does something for me when the memory hits. It’s good.”
His head swings to me. “You got hit again?”
Fuck. “Not really. Nick said my arm is a trigger and Delta helped before it hit. I don’t get everything when it’s happening I just know what he said.”
“Like at the wedding?”
At the wedding? This is the second time the wedding was brought up. “Did I fuck it up? I remember the wedding, but people keep saying it.”
“No Brother. You started shaking and Prez moved Jeremy to you. That was it. Delta sat against you and you were fine. It was before Beth was even up there.”
“Thank fuck. Tell me when I fuck shit up. I don’t get it and it’s weird that everyone else does and when they talk about it.”
He nods. “So did your arm trigger the memory like that?”
I shrug because I don’t know. “He just said it was a trigger and I should keep it covered. Amanda will ink it so I don’t see the scars.”
“Jesus, it’s your fuckin’ arm.” I shrug again, not knowing what to say. The ink could work. VP and Darren come in with Dakota and Uncle Danny. Jessie looks at me. “We’ll figure it out Brother.”
I nod. “Yeah.”
Brantley comes running in the room with Jason behind him and Delta is up and across the table standing on it in front of me. I laugh when Brantley almost falls backward. “Fuckin’ dog is going to give me a heart attack.” He puts his laptop down and sits like there isn’t a dog standing on the table watching him.
I look at VP. “He’s trained for protection too?”
He’s smiling. “Always.”
“Good to know.” I call him down and he jumps off the table then sits behind me watching Brantley. Everyone but Brantley thinks this is funny.
