Pushed up against his chest, her breasts had become full and sensitive. Even the slightest movement sent enervating tongues of desire spiraling through her body. The last bit of resistance fled, and holding on to him with all the fervor of her newfound passion, she sank into his arms.
Without warning, Tyler scooped her up and carried her over to her bed. He set her down, then dropped down beside her. He pulled her to him once more, kissed her forehead and eyelids. His hands seemed to roam all over her shoulders and back, setting her body into a frenzy of spiraling sensations.
Once more Tyler took her lips in a deep kiss. His hungry tongue forced its way into her mouth. The intimacy of it, the opening of herself to him, there were so many new things she couldn't absorb at once. But she didn't want to hold back, didn't want to miss any part of this wonderful experience. Throwing caution to the winds, her tongue joined his in a sinuous dance that had Daisy nearly melting with the heat.
Tyler's hand cupped her right breast. The shock caused Daisy to gasp, but Tyler did not release her lips. She knew she should tell him to stop. She knew she had already gone far enough, but he was tracing circles around her nipple through her clothes. The sensation was enough to dissolve her will power. It was more than enough to unleash a powerful desire from some well deep inside her. She wanted more.
She yielded to temptation.
Daisy let her head fall back so Tyler could kiss her neck and throat. The feel of his mouth on her skin curled her toes. She made no objection when he unbuttoned her dress and slipped his hand inside. She was beyond objection when he unbuttoned her chemise and cupped her breast with his naked hand.
She felt helpless, unable to resist.
Tyler lay her back on the bed, caressed the tops of her breasts with his hot lips. No one had ever touched her body. She had no idea that a mere touch could overwhelm all resistance, all caution, all reserve. Neither had she suspected the pleasure of his touch. It was so intense she thought she might faint. She didn't care he was opening her dress and slipping it and her chemise off her shoulders. Every part of her consciousness focused on his other hand as it moved down her side, along her thigh, cupped her bottom, pulled her against him.
His body was so hot, so swollen with desire, she felt molten, on the verge of bursting into flame.
Tyler bent down and took one of her nipples into his mouth. Nothing could compare to this. Every nerve in her body flamed with aching sensitivity. Her body arched off the bed, pressed against him. When his hand covered her other breast and began to tease her nipple, she thought she would lose control completely.
But even as she felt herself on the verge of sinking into a mindless pool of pleasure, Daisy knew she must stop. She fought to regain control, but each time she slipped a little further into passionate release. Try as she might, she couldn't summon the will power to pull clear.
Until she felt Tyler's hand move across her leg to the inside of her thigh. It was clear he intended to open every part of her body to his hunger.
Desperately reining in her numbed and scattered wits, Daisy realized she had allowed him to go too far. She had to stop him. If she didn't, she'd never forgive herself. Once he found out, he'd never speak to her again.
"We've got to stop," she whispered, her voice a trembling thread. She tried to pull her dress back up.
"You're driving me crazy," Tyler murmured into her shoulder as he tugged her dress farther down her body.
"Please, you must stop."
"There's no reason," Tyler said. "You want me as much as I want you."
Daisy captured both of his hands in hers. "Yes, there is. I'm engaged."
Chapter Fifteen
Tyler froze. "You're what?" he demanded, his face only inches from her own.
Daisy knew she should have told him sooner. There had been any number of opportunities. It just never seemed to be the right thing to say.
"I'm engaged to marry to Guy Cochrane." She hated the look in Tyler eyes.
"The brother of your best friend?"
She nodded.
"And you let me kiss you," he said, stunned. "You almost let me--"
"I didn't mean to do more than let you hold me," Daisy said. "I didn't think that would be so terrible. But I liked it so much I didn't stop you when I should have."
"Stop me when you should!" Tyler echoed, fury turning his eyes dark and hard. He backed away from her. "An honorable woman wouldn't have even let me kiss her. She'd have slapped me for just thinking what I did."
That hurt more than the rest. "I'm sorry, I guess I don't come up to your standards," Daisy said, close to tears. "It doesn't matter. No one else seems to think I do either."
"Obviously Mr. Cochrane does, or he wouldn't have asked you to marry him."
"I don't know why he did," Daisy confessed, too distraught to be thinking of what she said. "I'm sure he doesn't love me."
"Then why did you accept him?"
She couldn't tell him she'd accepted Guy because she was certain she'd never get another offer. "Not all marriages are based on love," Daisy replied. "As a matter of fact, a feeling of affection is more than most women ever get. Many actually spend their entire life married to a man they despise."
"That's absurd. No woman should do that."
"It's clear you don't know anything about being a woman. I was more fortunate than most."
"But not so fortunate you were willing to turn down a little fun before the vows were said."
"That's not fair," Daisy cried. "I told you I didn't mean to let things go so far. I was foolish." She struggled to keep the tears from her eyes. "Anyway, it doesn't really matter. Guy won't marry me looking like this. We've both gotten upset over nothing."
"That's not the point," Tyler said. "As long as you're engaged, you shouldn't allow another man to touch you."
"Considering both you and your brother have spent the night in my bed, I doubt anyone would consider me untouched. I mean to release Guy from his promise the minute I see him."
"Why should you do that?"
"For the very reason you got so angry at me. I've spent a week locked away in a cabin with two men and no woman present to vouch for my virtue."
"It need never be known. We can think of something."
"I might as well have let you ruin me. Now go do something, cook or hunt or take care of your mules. I need to be alone."
She pushed him out of her corner and pulled the curtains closed. Then the tears started. She sank down on the bed. Why had she let Tyler go so far? She had never been the victim of her physical appetites. She hadn't even known she had such appetites. Yet, she had wanted him to make love to her.
Why?
Because she loved him. She might think him the most impractical man on the face of the earth, but she had fallen in love with him precisely because he wouldn't let his dreams be bounded by the limits of common sense. He had the guts to want, the courage to go after what he wanted despite what anybody else might think.
He had no doubts about himself. He was confident he would be able to do anything he put his mind to. He was everything she wanted to be and wasn't. He had the strength she wished she had, the determination she lacked. He was not afraid to dream.
He would never have accepted Guy Cochrane's offer.
But she hadn't felt this way six months ago when Guy proposed. She had been relieved someone had finally offered to free her from her father's tyranny. She might not be able to live in Philadelphia like her mother, but she would have a nice house, decent clothes, and a chance to go to parties. After the years of poverty and empty evenings, she had been looking forward to it.
And she liked Guy. He was very attractive and a gentleman. She expected they would have a pleasant life together. She hadn't worried that his attentions were few and perfunctory. Her mother had taught her that proper men and women were careful to restrain their feelings for each other before marriage and afterwards in public. The kind of kisses she had shared with Tyler would have been enjoyed only in t
he privacy of their bed chamber, or not at all if she behaved according to conventional rules.
But then someone had killed her father, she had ended up with Tyler, and everything had come unraveled. Her reputation was ruined. She hadn't let herself think about it before, but after what had almost happened tonight, she had to face facts. Guy would break off their engagement. She couldn't expect him to do anything else.
But it hardly mattered. Tyler had made her thoroughly dissatisfied with any relationship she and Guy might have been able to forge. She felt the tears run down her cheeks. The only logical thing left for her to do was marry Zac or Tyler, but she wouldn't marry either. She didn't love Zac, and even though she did love Tyler, she refused to spend the rest of her life in a mountain cabin waiting for him to find gold that wasn't there.
She didn't know what she was going to do, but there had to be some other way. Tyler had said she could do anything she wanted, but she didn't know how to do anything except cook, take care of a house, and read books. Maybe she'd get a job as a housekeeper. She wouldn't starve, and she wouldn't have to marry some man she didn't care for.
The tears flowed faster.
It didn't do any good to hope Tyler might change, that he might settle down and get a real job. He didn't love her. He had never pretended he did. He might say he liked her. He might say he thought she was attractive, but he would feel differently when he got back to town and there were other women available.
* * * * *
"The snow has melted over much of the mountain," Tyler announced at dinner that evening. "I think we'll be able to get through tomorrow."
"Good." She didn't feel like saying anything else. She felt empty. He was getting rid of her.
"My brother and his wife are in Albuquerque awaiting the birth of their first child. I plan to take you to stay with them. That way nobody need ever know that you haven't been with them the whole time."
"Will your brother agree?"
"Of course."
"And his wife?"
"She'll do anything she can to help."
Anything they can to help Tyler off the hook. She would be the one to suffer the consequences of these last few days, not he.
"You will be able to stay with Hen and his wife until your friends return from Santa Fe."
"I don't have any money." She hated making that confession.
"Hen will see to anything you need."
He and Zac were certainly free with their brothers' money.
"I want to thank you for all you've done," she said after a long pause. "I know I've been a lot of trouble, and now with everything going wrong . . . "
"Don't worry about it. Everything will be right as rain in a few days."
She thought of her hair, the scar on her head, the scar in her heart. Things would never be right again.
They said little more for the rest of the evening. Daisy retired to her corner. She had become rather fond of the little space. It gave her more privacy than she had enjoyed in her own home. But then things here were different from her home. Her father could never stand for her or her mother to be out of his sight for more than a short time. Since he didn't like other people, that meant they had no social life.
Here Zac and Tyler had organized everything around her. That didn't happen even in Adora's home. Mr. Cochrane ruled just as absolutely as her father. Adora had never heard her mother or Guy question anything he said. Even though Guy was very tolerant, he showed signs of expecting his home to be much the same. Daisy would have accepted that if she had married him before she met Tyler. Now she didn't know what she would do.
Any man she did marry, if she could find one to marry her now, would probably be even more demanding. She had noticed the poorer the man, the more he expected of his wife. She didn't know enough of society yet to understand that, but she did know what she had seen.
Poverty made a slave of women. She decided if she were going to be poor, she would be poor by herself. She wasn't going to be a slave to anybody.
But that brought back the frightening thought of having to make it alone, and she didn't know a thing about surviving on her own.
* * * * *
Tyler tossed and turned in his bed. Despite trying all day to put it out of his mind, he was still furious at Daisy for what he felt was a betrayal. The engagement stuck in his craw. Without that, what they had almost done would simply have been a decision made between two adults. With the engagement, it made him look like a lecher.
He had never in his life made an improper suggestion to a woman whose feelings were attached. He might not want to be married himself, but wedding vows were as sacred to him as they were to his married brothers. He felt like a heel. No decent man went around trying to make love to an engaged woman.
Make love! That wasn't what he had been meaning to do. He had been intent on making lust, and he couldn't glorify it by any other name.
It was this weakness that worried him as much as anything else. He never would have been tempted before. What was it about Daisy that caused him to lose control?
She was damned attractive. He couldn't call her cute or beautiful, but there was something about her that he found irresistible. He had found her attractive even when her head was bandaged. That should have told him something.
He guessed part of it was her courage. She never lost heart or went to pieces. And she wasn't a pest. She went out of her way to be as little trouble as possible. She even tried to help with the work. She had gone after that deer because of him. He couldn't explain to her he had no interest in it except to please her, not after she had dragged Zac out to help her fight off the cougar.
He had to laugh at that. After her first encounter with the beast, he would have thought she'd never want to go near one again. Yet she charged out into the snow to protect his deer.
His deer!
He was glad to see the last of the creature. She had no idea how difficult it was to tear limbs from oak trees in winter. The trees seemed particularly determined to hold on to them.
He ought to feel guilty sitting here feeling sorry for himself when Daisy was hiding behind the curtain because her whole life and fallen apart. It wasn't often a poor woman got the chance to marry the only son of the richest man in town. It was exactly what her mother had taught her to want. It was the only role her father had prepared her to take on.
Tyler had helped take it from her.
He absolved himself from most of the blame because he hadn't known she was engaged. But even as he tried to assuage his conscience, he was angry she would agree to marry a man she didn't love. There was more to life than that. She must have dreams. Surely she wanted to find someone she could love with a great and lasting passion.
Why should she? He didn't. If someone told him he had to marry tomorrow, he would look for a sensible woman who would perform her duties efficiently and cause him the least trouble and worry. He had no right to criticize Daisy for doing basically the same thing.
He guessed he was used to thinking of women in terms of Rose and Iris. Two less compliant females would be hard to find. But he wondered what compromises they might have been willing to make if they hadn't married George and Monty? In all likelihood they had considered a marriage of convenience at one time or another, yet nobody held it against them now.
In the end, he wasn't able to reach any conclusion that satisfactorily explained why he should suddenly be behaving in a fashion completely unlike himself.
But one thing he did know. He would have to start for Albuquerque tomorrow. He didn't dare trust himself in the cabin with Daisy another night.
Daisy woke up to find Tyler standing over her.
"We need to get started early. It's a long trip, and I don't want to spend more than one night on the road."
Daisy opened her eyes, but she could barely make out Tyler's features. "It's still dark," she said.
"It'll be dawn by the time we start."
Daisy groaned. She didn't think she had slept as much as two h
ours. But she got up. There was nothing to pack. Everything she had was on her back.
"We'll take the mattress and blankets," Tyler said. "You won't like sleeping on the ground."
"You do."
"I'm used to it."
"I can get used to it, too."
"There's no need. You'll be sleeping in a bed tomorrow night."
She wanted to prove something to him -- she needed to -- but it seemed pointless to argue. She rolled up the mattress and folded the blankets.
"Can I help you pack?" she asked. He was fixing their breakfast. The least she could do was gather up his things in the meantime.
"I packed everything before I woke you. Sit down and eat. I'll tie your things on the burro."
"You sit down and eat as well," Daisy said, angry he had done everything himself. The perfect man who didn't need anybody. She realized he thought he was better off this way.
Maybe he was. She wished she didn't need people.
But she did. It was essential to her to feel wanted, needed, loved. There were times she thought she would do anything just to feel that way. When she was little, she thought her father wanted, needed, and loved her. Later she discovered he loved no one but himself.
"I guess it's time to go."
Tyler did let her take care of the dishes while he tied the mattress and blankets on the burro.
"I'd let you have a mule, but--"
"Don't apologize. The poor burro would never stand up to your weight."
As she waited for him to help her into the saddle, she looked back at the cabin and felt a pang. It would be some time before she knew the full consequences of her time here, but in some ways these last nine days had been the best of her life. None of the old equations worked, but then none of the old constraints bound her. It had been a halcyon time, a time of simplicity, of restfulness, of a happiness of a kind she would never experience again. It had been a time for seeking new horizons, of pushing limits, of discarding old ideas.
Now she was about to return to the world where the old constraints bound until they pinched, where new ideas were frowned on, where new horizons were avoided. She felt afraid.
Daisy Page 17
