Daisy felt like she'd been struck in the chest by a huge fist, a fist so powerful it could knock both breathe and hope out of her at the same time.
"Is that the only reason you came back?" she managed to ask. She felt like everything in her had dissolved, leaving her empty and cold.
"I wanted to see Laurel and Hen before they went back to the ranch. It might be years before I see them again. I also wanted to speak to Mr. Cochrane about the killers. Willie found the trail of two horses headed south, but the big horse headed north. I think the killer followed you to town."
Daisy found no consolation in his concern for her safety. He hadn't come to town to see her. Couldn't he see she loved him? No, and he wouldn't admit it if he did. She doubted he knew what love felt like. He'd been impervious to it all his life.
She had to stop this senseless hoping for miracles. It was foolish to keep torturing herself with any thought that Tyler would someday, somehow come to his senses. She shouldn't let his concern for her safety mislead her into thinking he felt anything more. He'd been concerned for her in the cabin, and after nine days that was still all he felt. There was no reason to expect him to change now.
"I'll be happy to convey your message to my father," Guy said as he patted Daisy's hand in a very possessive manner. "I can assure you nothing is more important to me than the safety of my future wife."
Daisy opened her mouth to deny it. But even before she realized she couldn't, she knew it was pointless. She could see Tyler thought she had decided to marry for money and safety. By deciding against independence, she had decided against him.
That made Daisy angry. He had no right to judge anything she did. He had never done or said anything to make her believe he loved her or would welcome her love. He had walked out of her life. He couldn't expect her to sit around waiting for him to make up his mind.
"I thought you were going to try running your ranch," Tyler said.
"I'll be taking care of all my wife's business concerns," Guy told him.
Daisy got madder and madder. If Tyler didn't care about her, she wouldn't let him know she cared about him, either. Her pride wouldn't let her show him one word was all it would have taken. It was a poor bargain, pride, but it was all she had left.
"I haven't decided what I'm going to do about the ranch," she said. "I'll probably wait until I hear from Daddy's family." She didn't know why she kept mentioning her father's family, using them as a shield between herself and something she couldn't handle just now. "Or I just may leave it up to my husband."
Guy patted her hand in such a self-congratulatory manner Daisy wanted to hit him. But she couldn't take her anger out of him. Tyler was the one she wanted to flay alive.
"Now I'll leave you men to talk about killers," Daisy said. "I'm late. Laurel will think I'm not coming."
Daisy managed to cross the lobby, but the minute she started up the stairs, she thought her legs would go out from under her. She had known Tyler didn't love her, but it hadn't been so painful until today. Now she felt physically ill. She stopped on the stairs and leaned against the wall. For a moment she thought she didn't have the strength to go on, but she had no choice. She couldn't go back down there and face Tyler.
She was also mad at Guy. He had said they were engaged to give him leverage against a bigger and more imposing man. She could understand that, but she couldn't forgive it. She wouldn't marry a man who needed to make himself larger by making others smaller. Still, she could see no way out. She felt trapped, cornered.
Tyler Randolph had just made the biggest mistake of his life. No one could ever love him more than she did. Only she couldn't even take satisfaction in knowing he'd someday discover his mistake. He probably would never figure it out.
By the time she knocked on Laurel's door, Daisy's eyes were swimming with tears. Hen answered her knock.
"We were wondering if . . . Is something wrong? Come in. What can I do to help?"
"Nobody can help me," Daisy said, allowing Hen to guide her to a chair.
* * * * *
So Zac had been right. Daisy was a fortune hunter. Tyler had known at a glance she didn't love Guy. She was only marrying him because he could give her all the things her mother had talked about. She'd probably have set her sights on him or Zac if she had had any notion how rich the Randolphs were.
Tyler bit back his escalating anger. He had no right to think he knew Daisy's motives. She had known Guy for a long time. Their feelings for each other were bound to be different from any feelings that could have developed between them in nine days.
But if there wasn't anything special between them, why the hell had he bothered to come back? To tell her about the killer? Because he wasn't happy with her engagement to Guy? He had no right be get upset over Daisy's coolness toward him. He had given her no reason to think she meant anything special to him.
But she did, and he knew it now. He had known it the moment he saw Guy tuck her arm in his. He had known it more strongly every minute he watched that man talk about Daisy like she was something he owned, that he planned to absorb into himself until there was nothing of her left. Tyler had wanted to snatch Daisy off his arm and knock Guy to the ground.
She might not be betraying him -- he had to be honest and admit he'd given her no reason to think there was anything to betray -- but she was most certainly betraying herself. He recognized Guy as the type of man who would expect unquestioning obedience from his wife. He was also the type to consider it his right to be unfaithful. For that Tyler wanted to hit him again.
He had been a fool to come. He should have stayed on the mountains and sent Willie instead. But he knew he couldn't have done that. No matter what came of it, he couldn't abandon Daisy now. She might not love him, she might never love him, she might not want to marry him if she did, but he would not leave Albuquerque until he was sure she was safe.
And free of Guy Cochrane.
* * * * *
"We found out who killed your father," Regis Cochrane announced to Daisy at dinner that evening. "Unfortunately, he has left the territory. According to the report the sheriff got, he was headed for Montana."
"Can't you send somebody after him?" Daisy asked.
"No, but we can notify the U.S. marshals up that way. They'll keep an eye out for him. Other than that, there's nothing we can do."
"So he'll get away."
"I'm afraid so. I’m having the sheriff check on Bob Greene. He's always been a stiff-necked old bastard." Mr. Cochrane gave her a fatherly smile and a pat on the hand. "Now you leave all this to me and concentrate on your wedding."
Daisy was disappointed in Mr. Cochrane. She had placed her faith in him. She had been certain he would find the killer and see him hanged. Even if Bob Greene was the one behind it, the killer had gotten away.
If Tyler had agreed to help her, he wouldn't have given up. He would have followed that man for as long as it took. Any man who would chase after gold for three years wouldn't quibble at a few months spent going to Montana.
But Tyler hadn't wanted to help her.
Chapter Twenty-one
Daisy sat ramrod straight in the most uncomfortable chair in the Cochrane's parlor. She dreaded this interview. She had gone over what she meant to say several times, but the words never came out the way she wanted. Still, there was no going back. She had paced her room all morning. She had racked her brain for different solutions, but she knew there was no other. She loved Tyler Randolph, fool that she was, and she would never love anyone else. Wealth and all the finer things her mother had taught her to want meant nothing without him. If she married Guy, they would probably be a reproach to her for the rest of her life.
She was scared. She'd never attempted anything like this. Most frightening of all, she would have nobody to depend on but herself. She had told herself for years this was what she wanted, but now she wasn't sure.
Guy's entrance scattered her thoughts. She hurriedly collected them again.
"Dolores said you want
ed to see me."
Daisy had asked the maid to find Guy because she didn't want anyone in the family to know. "I need to talk to you."
Guy stopped in front of her chair, a smile on his face, his hands held out to her. "You could talk with me any time. Dolores made it sound so serious." When she didn't put her hands in his, he dropped his hands and frowned. "What is it? You haven't fallen in love with someone else, have you?"
Daisy thought it ironic the problem he saw as the most unlikely should be the nub of the matter.
"Not exactly."
The smile disappeared from Guy's face. "What do you mean not exactly?"
"Please sit down, Guy. I can't think with you towering over me."
"I think with you towering over me all the time." His effort at humor fell flat. He pulled a chair forward and sat down, perched on the edge.
"I can't marry you," Daisy said before she lost her courage. "I'm sorry. After all you and your family have done for me, I must seem very ungrateful. But I've thought about it for the last two days, and I can't do anything else."
Guy looked at a loss for words. "Why?"
She knew he was going to ask that. She wished she could say that was the way it was going to be and leave without an explanation, but she couldn't. She owed him that much.
"When you asked me to marry you, I liked you very much. I thought I could learn to love you. I thought that was the way things were supposed to be."
"It is."
"Then I spent nine days with Tyler Randolph, and I wasn't sure of anything anymore."
"Do you love him?"
"It's not a question of loving him," Daisy said, hoping to avoid answering that question. "But knowing I liked him made me question my feelings for you. Now I think maybe love should come before marriage, or it might not come at all."
"If that's all, we can wait until--"
"It's not all. I don't know how to say this without sounding even more ungrateful, but I want a chance to be on my own. You and your family have been very kind, but you want to do everything for me."
"We're only trying to help."
"I know, but I feel like I'm about to suffocate."
"Tell me what you don't like, and I'll change it."
Daisy stood up and walked a few steps before she turned to face Guy. "It's not that simple. I don't know what I want." Gripping her hands together in front of her, Daisy walked a few more steps. "When I was ten, my father gave me a book about Queen Elizabeth I of England. I loved that book so much I read it over and over again. I can even quote parts of it.
The young princess was hemmed in on all sides, her will never her own, her life a constant struggle to please those stronger than herself. Yet no matter what she did, she was never able to please her guardians.
That's how my father made me feel. No matter what I did, it was never good enough. But Elizabeth became the greatest queen England ever had. They threatened her kingdom and her throne, but she never got married. She ruled a whole country by herself for forty-five years.
"I admired her and wanted to be like her, but all my life I had been told I couldn't survive without a man. Tyler was the first person to believe in me, to believe I could do anything I wanted. Now the time has come for me to find out if he's right. I can't find out if I allow you and your father to do everything for me."
Guy looked stunned. "What are you going to do?"
"Go back to the ranch."
"You can't. The house is gone."
"I'm going to buy a tent--"
"You'd be alone."
"--and hire Rio Mendoza to help me."
"He's an old man."
"He's just turned forty, and he's a good worker. I'll feel safe with him."
Guy leaped out of his chair. "You can't do this. What'll people say?"
"I imagine they'll say you're well out of a bad marriage."
"That's not what I mean. I'm talking about your reputation. Aren't you worried about that?"
"I don't have a reputation, at least not a good one. I thought Mrs. Esterhouse made that plain enough."
"I don't care about Mrs. Esterhouse. All I care about is you." Guy tried to take her in his arms, but Daisy twisted away.
"I don't know why you are so determined to marry me. You don't love me. You may like me a lot, but you're not in love. I'm not pretty. I have absolutely no money. I'm taller than any man in Albuquerque."
Guy looked taken aback, but made a quick recovery. "Of course you're pretty. Everybody says--"
"They say I'm a gawk who towers over every man in sight. They've probably forgotten my freckles because of my hair and scar, but they won't forget my father and my poverty."
"That's not true. You are a striking woman. Everybody says so."
Daisy laughed. She didn't know why. She didn't feel amused, but the sound came out on its own. "Amazing, startling, staggering, shocking or all of the above."
Guy gripped Daisy by the shoulders. "I'm not giving up. I'll come out every day to see how you're doing." He sounded desperate, even a little frightened.
"No. I want you to start looking for someone else. You deserve a wife who can love you with her whole heart. You deserve to be in love. Promise me you won't marry anyone you don't love."
"You sound like you're in love," Guy said.
"I know what it's like." Daisy stood. "Please don't say any more. I've made all my preparations. I'll tell Adora, but I want you to speak to your parents. After all their kindness, I don't think I can face them.”
* * * * *
"I don't want you to leave," Adora wailed. "I want you to be my sister. Why do you want to go way?"
Daisy had left Guy, stunned and confused, to go find Adora. She wanted to tell her while she still had the courage. She had found her in her bedroom.
"I don't want to. I must."
"That's absurd. Nobody's making you go. Just the opposite."
"I'm making me go," Daisy said. "I don't love Guy. It would be unfair to marry him."
"You love one of those Randolph men, don't you, the young one you said was so handsome?"
"No, I don't love Zac."
"Then it's the other one. I know it is. You haven't been the same since we got back."
"Okay, I do love him, but I'm not going to marry him."
"But if you love him--"
"He doesn't know he loves me."
Adora was silent a moment. "How do you know?"
"He came back to Albuquerque. Guy and I met him in the hotel lobby."
"Guy told me he came to tell Papa he thought the killer had followed you to town."
"Yes, but he didn't come back because of me."
"Maybe he's just shy."
"Tyler never had any trouble saying what he wanted to say. Most of the time that was nothing. I guess it still is."
"And you love him?"
"Stupid isn't it, but I can't help it."
"Why?"
"For a lot of reasons you'll probably think very silly. He's the first man who ever made me feel petite."
"Guy said he was very tall."
"It isn't that. He simply isn't aware that there's anything different about me. He thinks I'm pretty, doesn't mind my freckles, prefers my hair short, and he was burning to make love to me."
"You didn't--"
"No, but now I wish I had. Does that shock you? It shocks me, but no one has ever kissed me like he did."
"How was that?" Adora asked, shock fading in the face of rampant curiosity.
"I had dreamed of being kissed by the man I loved, but it was nothing like this. He was out of control. It happened too fast. When he took me in his arms, I felt powerless to stop him. He pressed me to him until my entire body threatened to explode from the heat of him.
"Then he kissed me, and I could hardly believe such a powerful sensation could be produced merely by touching a man's lips. His mouth was hard and demanding. I felt as though the energy had drained out of me. I felt owned, possessed. But he kept demanding more and more until I cou
ldn't do anything but give in to him."
"Give in to him?" Adora repeated, breathless.
"His tongue thrust its way into my mouth and fire shot all through me. I felt he had invaded me, was searching out all of me and making it his own. I felt like I had been released from a cocoon, suddenly transformed, freed to meld with him.
"Then he broke off, and I feared I would collapse. If he hadn't held on to me, I would."
Adora stared at Daisy, her eyes wide with amazement.
"A kiss like that can't happen with a man who only admires you or who will wait respectfully to make you his own," Daisy said. "Only a man who must have you despite all the rules of society, despite his own sense of honor, despite your objections can make you feel that way."
"But you said--"
"I said almost, but part of the excitement is the danger, not knowing for sure."
"You were never like this before."
"Don't I sound foolish? Daddy would have locked me in my room until I was over it. That's why I can't marry Guy. He would expect a quiet dutiful wife. He'd never understand."
"What are you going to do about Tyler?"
"Nothing."
"If you love him, you must do something. You can't just let him ruin your life."
"I have no life to ruin, but I'm going to make one. I'm going to run my ranch. Tyler said I could do anything I made up my mind to do."
"And you believe him?"
"I have to. Believing him means believing in myself."
"But you'll be by yourself."
"I know."
"I could never do anything like that. I'd be too afraid."
"I'm petrified," Daisy admitted.
"You really do love him, don't you?"
Daisy nodded.
"Then he'll come back for you. If you love him that much, he can't do anything else."
But Daisy wouldn't let herself hope. She didn't think she could stand to be disappointed again.
* * * * *
"You told her you came back to learn how to run a hotel?" Laurel stared at Tyler like he was a certified fool.
"What was I supposed to tell her?"
Daisy Page 24
