At that, all my fears melted. I reached for him, pulling him down to me for a soul-searing kiss. His hands reverently touched my thighs, my hips, circling around my waist until he gently caressed my breasts, his thumbs flicking my nipples before he bent his head and sucked my nipple in his mouth. I moaned, wild with pleasure.
The love he spoke of was in his touch, in the hungry movement of his lips, his tongue, his teeth as he kissed me. I was soaked with it, drowning in it, and I wanted more.
He searched my eyes as if looking for some hesitation—but there was nothing. My mind and my heart were made up. It was scary and overwhelming, and there was no turning back for me after this. As I looked into his green eyes, I knew—I didn’t want to turn back. I was at the edge of the cliff, hanging by my fingertips. And I realized I was ready to fall forever. He was the one. He always had been. There would be no one else for me.
I loved him. It had always been him. I didn’t want to fight it anymore. “Caleb,” I murmured, sliding my fingers into his hair and pulling him to me for a kiss. “I love you. Make me yours.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, breathing hard. When he opened them, I felt lost, so lost in him.
“I love you. I will love no one but you,” he whispered before he entered me.
My breath hitched as I felt unwelcome pain pierce my pleasure-hazed world. I closed my eyes tightly, fighting the urge to push him off me. I felt full, ripped apart. Above me, Caleb froze.
“Baby, are you okay? I’m so sorry, love. Do you want me to stop?”
The fear in his tone made me open my eyes. His hand caressed the side of my face as he gazed at me with worry, and I melted.
“Talk to me, love,” he murmured, kissing my lips, my cheeks, my nose.
He started licking my bottom lip, sucking it in his mouth. His hand slid between my legs, stroking small circles in my center and causing a now-familiar sensation. The feel of him inside me, so hard and full, and the slow motions of his fingers made my moan turn into a sob.
My fingers tightened in his hair, pulling him close for a demanding, almost desperate kiss. He groaned deep in his chest, turning demanding into carnal as his tongue plunged in my mouth, swallowing my moans.
I moved my hips experimentally and discovered that the pain was fading, replaced by an inexplicable pleasure that spread between my legs and shot up my spine. I bit my lip, closing my eyes tightly as I moaned. He abruptly pulled back from me, his face a mask of hunger and pain.
“Red, damn. I can’t… Please don’t move, baby.”
Caleb placed his hand on my hip when I tried to move, commanding me to stay still.
“It’s okay, Caleb. It feels…good.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded, sliding my hips against him. The pleasure was building, spreading to my spine, my legs, my arms, and between my legs.
“Caleb, please… I need…”
He kissed me roughly, his hands reaching for my wrists, then dragging them up over my head. “I got you, baby.”
And then he was moving—slowly, languorously, his green eyes watching my face. I was panting, my breath loud and fast as he plunged inside me, in and out, taking his time, driving me wild.
“Take everything—my body, my heart, my soul. Take them. They’re yours,” he rasped. He began to move faster, harder, wilder.
Everything felt tight, my body bowing as I pumped my hips in time with his thrusts. Pleasure was sharp and demanding as it built and spread inside my body. My whimpers turned into sobs, desperate to find relief.
“Let go, baby. Let go,” he said softly, kissing his words into my mouth.
All I could do was wrap my legs tighter around him, my fingernails digging into his back as his thrusts became wild and frenzied.
“Oh Jesus. Oh fuck.”
Caleb’s mouth latched onto my neck, sucking hard as he palmed my ass, grinding inside me so hard and so deep that I came apart with a scream.
“I love you. God, I love you so much. I love you so fucking much,” he said roughly. He groaned out his pleasure, mouth parted, eyes half closed, head thrown back in abandon. I felt him drive deep one last time before he cried out my name and released.
Chapter Nineteen
Veronica
The sight of Caleb’s handsome face greeted me in the morning as I opened my eyes. He was lying on his stomach, his pink lips slightly parted as he slept peacefully, his arm wrapped around my hip.
He needed a haircut, I thought, noting that his hair was long enough now to cover his eyes. It was sticking up everywhere…like someone had buried their hands in it and pulled…
Oh God.
I did that to his hair last night when…
I think about your taste…in my mouth.
I shut my eyes, my breath hitching. The sound must have woken him up because I felt him move.
“Good morning, my Red,” he said quietly. Huskily.
I knew it. You’re intoxicating here too…
When I felt his lips on my neck, felt his arm pull me closer, I jumped off the bed, snatched the blanket, and hastily wrapped it around me.
I let out a horrified squeak, covering my face with my hands.
Naked.
Caleb was naked!
Oh God.
My eyes shifted from below his torso to his eyes. He was watching me, unperturbed, completely unselfconscious as he sprawled naked on the bed. He took in my reaction, biting his lip as he tried unsuccessfully to keep from laughing.
I grabbed the pillow and threw it right at his groin. I heard his oof! before I ran—no, more like waddled like a panicked penguin—into the bathroom.
I vaguely registered Caleb’s laughter and nearly tripped over the clothes lying on the floor. Were those his boxers?
Closing the door with a thud, I turned the lock and sat on the floor.
Oh God.
I covered my face with my hands, shaking my head.
“Red?”
I froze.
“You okay there, love?” There was laughter in his voice, and that made my face feel hotter.
No. Definitely not okay. “I’m fine! I need a minute.”
“Please open the door.”
Open the door? No way. “I need to shower, Caleb.”
My eyes widened as I heard him jiggling the doorknob. I scooted across the floor so I was leaning against the door. Just in case.
“Well, then open the door. I want in.”
In? My hands went limp, and I barely caught the blanket before it fell from my body. “What?”
“I want to shower with you.”
“No,” I said weakly. “Just…no.”
There was no reply on the other side of the door. Maybe he’d already left.
“I love you, Red.”
My heart stuttered. It did every time he said those words.
It was a quiet declaration, but I heard it nonetheless. His voice felt so close that I only had to close my eyes and imagine he was behind me, without the door between us.
“Want pancakes?”
I nodded before realizing he couldn’t see me. “Pancakes. Great. Sounds great.”
“Okay.”
When I heard the door close, I got up from the floor, turned on the water, and stepped into the shower, wincing at the unwelcome soreness between my legs. I closed my eyes, sighing at the delicious feel of warm water on my face.
I felt…different. Somehow I was more aware of my own body, of the places that I never thought were sensitive and that had never made me feel almost-desperate longing until last night. A picture of Caleb above me, green eyes intense as he watched my face, lips slightly parted as he touched my breasts…
I shook my head, reaching for the soap.
Caleb had been very considerate, sweet, and…thorough last night.
; And I…I hadn’t done anything but lie there.
A groan escaped my throat as I replayed everything I had—or had not—done last night.
Caleb had slept with a lot of girls before me.
The thought of him doing the things he had done to me to other girls made my heart hurt. Made me feel jealous. And insecure.
I knew the girls who came before me didn’t mean anything to him, that I was his first love, but he had shared his body with them. They had, I was sure, satisfied him because they knew how to please a guy, and I…didn’t.
Why didn’t I do anything to please him last night? I glared at his shampoo as I squeezed some into my palm and massaged my hair with it.
I hated being a cliché about this, but I couldn’t help thinking: How was it for him last night? Was he…satisfied? Did I please him?
I hated these thoughts.
What was I supposed to do? Ask him?
Hey, Caleb, did you have fun last night? Even though you did all the work?
Hey, Caleb. I know this is awkward, but…if you could rate last night, would that be excellent, good, average, or poor?
No. Just no.
I was driving myself nuts.
Even if I didn’t satisfy him, I was sure he wouldn’t admit it to me. He’d be worried about what I would think and feel.
What if I didn’t please him at all?
Would he…would he find someone else to satisfy those needs?
I almost pulled my hair out as I rinsed. I let those thoughts swirl in my head as I finished my shower. And was still thinking about them when I stepped out.
Maybe I could ask him to rate it on a scale of one to ten. Correction—zero to ten.
No? No.
How about grading it with stars?
Just shut up! Zip it. Put a sock in it.
Fog covered the mirror, and I scrubbed it with my ringless hand. I reached for the ring, stroking the round shape of it. I had removed it and looped it around the necklace Caleb gave me last night before we left Kara’s. Now all I needed was my bag so I could get ready. My bag. The one I’d left in the kitchen.
Damn it.
Carefully, I opened the door. And my heart melted for the second time this morning when I spotted my bag beside the door.
Caleb must have placed it there.
I remembered the time at Kara’s when I’d asked Caleb to leave my things on the counter and I’d found him standing there waiting for me while I was in a towel.
I grabbed my bag and didn’t waste time in pulling on jeans and a fitted, white gypsy tube top that ended just below my navel. There were red flowers stitched along the borders and white lace trim. The top showed off my shoulders. It was something that I usually didn’t wear, but Kara had bought it for me and I really liked it. I wished I could see my reflection in the mirror, but it was still foggy.
Huffing in frustration, I realized I had forgotten to bring my blow-dryer with me last night since I was in a hurry. I had no choice but to put my hair up in a bun on top of my head. I hated tying my hair when it was still wet.
I quickly made the bed, nearly groaning when I spotted Caleb’s boxers and jeans on the floor.
Oh God.
Caleb had a habit of leaving a trail of clothes on the floor, and he never picked them up, no matter how much I reminded him.
And—oh God. My clothes would be… Last night… The kitchen floor…
Had he picked them up?
Stop procrastinating. It’s time to face the music!
I blew out a breath and stepped out of Caleb’s bedroom. I smelled the pancakes right away.
I paused when I saw him in the kitchen. His back was to me, his head down as he busied himself over the stove. He was shirtless, the muscles in his arms and back rippling as he moved to grab the butter on the counter.
Déjà vu.
I felt transported to that first time I’d seen Caleb in his apartment. I could picture him in my mind. He had turned around, and as he’d spotted me standing exactly where I was standing now, a piece of bread had fallen out of his mouth.
I laughed quietly. Caleb turned at the sound, his handsome face softening as he smiled at me. His green eyes tracked my movement as I walked to him.
My heart did a long, slow jump in my chest.
I felt him draw a deep breath as I wrapped my arms around him, burrowing my nose in his neck. His arms automatically embraced me.
“I love you, Caleb.”
He rested his chin on top of my head.
“Again, Red,” he coaxed. “You almost got it. Keep saying it.”
“I love you.”
He let out a mock frustrated sigh, shaking his head. “You need to do that a million times more before I’ll feel satisfied.”
I stiffened at the word satisfied.
Was he?
“Hmm… You smell like my shampoo and my soap.” He nuzzled my cheek. “I like that.”
Smelling the pancakes, I stepped away from his embrace so I could finish cooking them.
“What time is your class?” he asked, twirling a loose strand of my hair with his finger.
“Not till three.”
“Good. We have time to… What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Take a shower. I’ll finish making the pancakes.”
But he turned the stove off, then held my face between his hands.
“I know that face. Tell me what’s on your mind, Red.”
“I said ‘nothing.’”
“Was I too rough last night?”
I could feel the blush flushing my cheeks. “No.”
“Then what is it?” he demanded.
I let out a frustrated breath and tried to step away from him again, but he wouldn’t budge.
“I don’t know. I’ve never had sex before. And you…you haven’t said anything. Let me go.”
I shook his hands off and stepped back.
“You have no idea what last night meant to me, do you?” he asked.
I raised my eyes to his, challenging.
“Everything,” he whispered, kissing me softly. “It meant everything.”
It wasn’t what he said but the way he said it. The way his eyes looked at me, the way his hands held me to him.
He meant it, I realized.
And just like that, my insecurities vanished.
“It was perfect.” He looked at me with suddenly hooded eyes, which were turning a darker green. “I can’t stop thinking about last night. I want you again. It was wildly erotic. The sounds you made, how good you felt when I was inside—”
I shrieked and covered his mouth, blushing furiously. “Okay.” I blew out a breath. “Okay.”
I felt foolish now for letting my insecurities get the better of me.
His eyes glittered wickedly as he pulled my hand down and placed it on his chest. “Did you enjoy last night?” He blinked slowly, his lashes casting shadows on his cheeks. “Did I make you feel good?”
I didn’t know I could blush harder than I was already. When his hand slowly slid behind my waist, his fingers seeking the skin on my lower back, I swallowed a moan.
“Can I—”
I didn’t give him a chance to finish as I moved away from him, but the vulnerability in his eyes stopped me from walking away. It had never crossed my mind that he would feel the same insecurities I felt. He wanted to know if last night was good for me too.
“It was,” I said breathlessly. “Really good.”
I groaned inside.
It was really good?
What kind of response was that? But when I looked up at him again, his eyes were smiling and I knew he understood what I meant.
He was right. It was perfect.
“Why don’t you take a seat?” he suggested, pulling out a chair for me. “And let
me cook breakfast for my queen.”
As he busied himself again at the stove, I quietly grabbed Mr. Clean and a rag and vigorously cleaned the counter, hoping to block last night’s memories from my mind.
Keep cool and clean.
I kept my back to him, biting my lip and knowing my face was crab red while I scrubbed. I searched the floor for any of my clothing but didn’t see them anywhere.
Where had he put them? I decided not to ask him and to look for them later.
Breakfast was a stack of distorted pancakes—Caleb had gotten better at making them, since there were no eggshells—charred bacon, and fruit cut into bite-size pieces.
I told him I was giving him an A for effort. He seemed pleased.
I had insisted that we eat on the balcony, not at the counter. He flashed me a meaningful smile but thankfully didn’t say anything.
Since we had a few more hours before my classes started—his wasn’t till four—we grabbed our textbooks and started studying.
I stared at the same page for fifteen minutes, absorbing nothing.
Caleb sat across from me. He was wearing a black muscle shirt, his toned arms exposed. My eyes followed the line of his neck, the strong, sharp curve of his jaw. His eyes were focused on the book in front of him, a little furrow in his brow marring his smooth forehead. I’d noticed he had a habit of biting the end of his pen, as he was doing now. My gaze shifted to admire the shape of his lips, the way they parted slightly so the end of the pen was just inside his mouth. His mouth…
His eyes suddenly slid up to mine.
And my breath caught.
His grin was slow. And knowing. Naughty.
I averted my gaze and reached for the orange juice. Drank deeply.
“Hey, Red?”
I placed the glass back on the coaster with a loud clunk.
“What?” I injected irritation into my voice, flipping to the next page in my book. Pretending to read.
I didn’t need to look to know he still had that mischievous grin on his lips.
“Want a kiss?”
I bit my lip, which desperately wanted to form a smile. “No.”
Always Red Page 12
